A FEW LAST PREGNANCY PHOTOS...

I HAD TO INCLUDE AT LEAST ONE OF THE SWEET LITTLE BUG:)

HERE IS ONE CORNER OF ROOM 630, MY HOME AWAY FROM HOME FOR 7 WEEKS... THE NURSES ALWAYS GOT A KICK OUT OF ALL OF THE KIDS PICTURES AND NOTES ON THE WALLS:)

A NOT SO GREAT PICTURE OF ANNA AND I OUTSIDE ON ONE OF MY WHEELCHAIR RIDES.

GREG AND I ALWAYS LAUGHED WHEN THEY WOULD BRING THIS WHEELCHAIR TO MY ROOM FOR RIDES... WE CALLED IT THE GHETTO CHAIR, AND TALKED OF EQUIPPING IT WITH SOME NICE FUZZY DICE:)

I wanted to get a few of these last pregnancy photos up...

As much as I couldn't wait to have the Levi here... I do miss being pregnant...

Now that I see him outside of the womb, he isn't a big mover or a wild mover. It makes sense that I didn't feel huge movements from him inside either. It is strange to me that as much as he changed from head up to head down those last few weeks and even the last few days, I still can't believe that I couldn't feel those big movements.

Right now, he is snuggled in his daddy's arms while the kids finish up some tres leche cake someone from church made us... YUMMY!

The boys and Greg just got back from a late soccer tournament game in town. It was freezing out so I stayed home with Levi and Hope. I really love going to the games, but not when it is cold, windy, and misty out.

I actually wanted Greg to build a fire tonight, but since they were all gone maybe we can do it tomorrow night. I sort of feel like I got jipped out of all my cozey fires this past winter being in the hospital for that time:)

This is totally off topic, but has anyone ever printed off their blog into a sort of memory book to have for their family. If anyone has done that I would love any tips or info on how to go about doing that...

We are all looking forward to Greg being home with us a few days this week... Yay, some much needed time together. Treasuring these times:)

SUNDAY NIGHT UPDATE

It is 11:40 and Greg and I are just chilling watching some TV before we try to get a little sleep. The nurses think that most likely he is head down at this point... (There was some confusion on doing an ultrasound tonight... I KNOW that was the plan... but apparantly they would have had to call the doc on call in for that... so instead of doing that they just checked to see if it felt like he is head down. Needless to say, he isn't engaged being as he is stilll turning from head up to head down all the time... so it wasn't easy to feel where he was at position wise... that was no fun:(

I so have to say that I have spent so much time trying not to get my hopes up that I really have not prepared for labor at all. This leaves me a little more worried than normal. And of course Samuel's birth leaves me with its fair share of concern. I have already had one good cry. Greg and I prayed together and I am feeling better right now. I think because I haven't really spent anytime preparing for the birth itself... I truly can not believe that we are at that point and in the labor process:) CRAZY!!


I am really thankful that he was head down... Praise God that we didn't have to make a decision on whether or not to try to turn him... the decision was made for us:) Yay God!

We will try to update at some point tomorrow:)

Can't wait to meet our Levi soon....

ONE LESS HOUR TO WAIT... YAY FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME:)

MY SWEET NURSE JUST CAME IN AND SPRUNG MY CLOCK FORWARD AN HOUR... ONE LESS HOUR TO WAIT TO MEET MY BOY LEVI:)

I JUST HEARD A VERY LITTLE BABY SCREAMING IN THE HALLS... THAT HASN'T HAPPENED TOO OFTEN SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE WHICH IS SURPRISING SINCE -I AM IN THE POSTPARTUM AREA... I HAVE BEEN THANKFUL TO NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT NON-STOP... ONLY BECAUSE HEARING MY NEWBORN BABY'S CRY HAS BEEN SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN LONGING TO HEAR FOR THE PAST 2 1/2 YEARS... GOD HAS BEEN GRACIOUS:)

I HAD A LOT OF CONTRACTIONS TODAY... THEY KEPT ME ON THE MONITOR LONGER EACH TIME BECAUSE I WAS CONTRACTING MORE THAN WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE... BUT SINCE THEY DIDN'T HURT MUCH, AND THEY WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP THEM, THEY EVENTUALLY JUST TOOK ME OFF LATER. THEY ARE STILL COMING EVERY 7-8 MINUTES... BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK IT IS REAL LABOR... JUST BRAXTON HICKS SINCE THEY AREN'T GETTING ANY CLOSER OR INTENSIFYING AT ALL.

HERE IS WHERE WE ARE AT... AT THIS POINT. AS FAR AS WE KNOW HE IS HEAD UP SINCE THE BPP ON THURSDAY. SO THE PLAN IS TO TAKE ME DOWN TO LABOR AND DELIVERY TOMORROW EVENING SOMETIME. THEY WILL DO AN ULTRASOUND SOON AFTER I GET THERE TO DETERMINE HIS POSITION. IF HE IS HEAD DOWN THEY WILL START ME ON A LOW DOSE OF PITOCIN JUST TO HOPEFULLY KEEP HIM THERE SO THAT HE DOESN'T MOVE AGAIN OVER NIGHT:)

THEN THEY WOULD TURN UP THE PITOCIN IN THE EARLY MORNING LIKE 5 AM. WE WOULD SEE WHERE I AM AT WHEN DR. W. COMES IN MONDAY MORNING AND WE WILL GO FROM THERE.

IF HE IS HEAD UP WHEN THEY DO THE ULTRASOUND TOMORROW NIGHT THEY WILL JUST WAIT AND SIT ON IT TILL MORNING. THE DOCTOR FEELS VERY COMFORTABLE WITH TRYING AN EXTERNAL VERSION (TURNING LEVI TO HEAD DOWN) ON MONDAY MORNING WHEN HE COMES IN. G AND I ARE NOT SURE HOW WE FEEL ABOUT THAT. IF WE DON'T TRY THAT THEN WE WILL BE SET FOR A C-SECTION, HOPEFULLY MONDAY MORNING.

HONESTLY, I DON'T AT ALL CARE HOW IT HAPPENS, I JUST WANT HIM HERE SAFE AND SOUND. I DON'T WANT THE RECOVERY OF A C-SECTION, BUT IF THAT IS WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED I AM TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.

HERE ARE SOME PRAYER REQUESTS:

PLEASE PRAY THAT I DON'T GO INTO LABOR BEFORE THEN... THE DOC ON CALL THIS WEEKEND IS THE SAME SWEET DOCTOR (AHEM.... KIDDING) THAT I HAD THE NIGHT WE COULDN'T FIND LEVI'S HEARTBEAT... HE IS NOT MY FAVORITE AND PROBABLY THE LAST DOCTOR I WOULD WANT TO DELIVER LEVI...

PLEASE PRAY THAT LEVI IS KEPT SAFE THESE LAST HOURS AS WE WAIT FOR MONDAY TO ARRIVE.

PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD TO PREPARE OUR HEARTS AS A FAMILY FOR ALL WE WILL FEEL AS WE WELCOME LEVI INTO THIS WORLD...

PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD TO PLACE HIM IN THE VERY POSITION HE WANTS HIM TO BE IN FOR DELIVERY.

PLEASE PRAY FOR WISDOM AND SKILL FOR THE DOCTORS AS THEY WORK TO BRING LEVI HERE SAFE AND SOUND.

THANK YOU.... THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS!

I THINK I WILL TRY TO UPDATE TOMORROW NIGHT AFTER THE ULTRASOUND ONCE WE KNOW WHAT POSITION LEVI IS IN ...

OH MY.... I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE WE ARE HERE AT THIS POINT... THANK YOU LORD!

GOD'S FINGERPRINTS THROUGH EMBRYO ADOPTION... MY HEART SWELLS...

TONIGHT MY HEART SWELLS AS I THINK OF THE WEEK AHEAD...

WILL I REALLY BE HOLDING MY BABY BOY IN MY ARMS WITHIN THE WEEK?


TONIGHT MY HEART SWELLS AS I THINK OF SOME EMAILS I HAVE SHARED WITH THE DONOR FAMILY THIS PAST WEEK...

THIS WHOLE EMBRYO ADOPTION HAS HONESTLY BEEN A MIRACLE FROM DAY ONE...
(IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER SOME OF THOSE EARLY DETAILS YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT IF YOU GO BACK TO MY JULY AND AUGUST POSTS FROM LAST YEAR 2010)

I SEE GOD'S FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THE WHOLE THING... AND THAT HAS GIVEN ME GREAT PEACE...

LAST WEEK I GOT AN EMAIL LETTER FROM THE DONOR DAD'S MOTHER... HER SON RYAN, THE DONOR DAD OF LEVI, WENT TO MEET HIS PRECIOUS SAVIOR JUST 4 1/2 MONTHS BEFORE OUR SAMUEL. IT REALLY WAS SUCH A SWEET LETTER, AND TRULY I HAVE TRIED TO PUT MYSELF INTO THE DONORS FAMILY SHOES MANY TIMES... THIS TOOK ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO HEAR HER TALK OF HER SON, LEVI'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER.

I LOVED THAT SHE SAID THAT SHE LOVES SHARING THE STORY OF LEVI WITH OTHERS AND THAT IT IS A TESTIMONY OF OUR INCREDIBLE GOD AND THE CREATIVE WAY HE DEMONSTRATES HIS LOVE... THAT IS SO TRUE... I NEVER COULD HAVE DREAMED OUR FAMILY STORY WOULD INCLUDE THIS PRECIOUS BABY BOY BEING ADOPTED AS AN EMBRYO:)

MY HEART RELATES TO HER AS WE BOTH HAVE LOST OUR DEARLY LOVED SONS...
MY HEART REJOICES WITH HER THAT BECAUSE OF HER SON THIS PRECIOUS BOY HAS HAD LIFE HERE ON EARTH... WILL BRING GLORY TO HIS HEAVENLY FATHER... AND HAS AND WILL BRING HEALING TO PARTS OF OUR HEARTS THAT I THINK MAY HAVE ONLY BEEN ABLE TO BE TOUCHED BY SUCH A MIRACLE... MY HEART IS AMAZED!!


I ALSO HAVE SHARED SOME PRECIOUS EMAILS WITH THE DONOR MOM. WE FOUND OUT FOR SURE THAT JOJO WILL BE A YEAR OLDER THAN LEVI ACCORDING TO CONCEPTION DATE:) JOJO WAS A LITTLE WORRIED THAT HE WAS YOUNGER:) SO THAT MEANS THAT LEVI WAS FROZEN FOR ALMOST EXACTLY 5 YEARS... AMAZING ISN'T THAT? IT IS HARD TO WRAP MY MIND AROUND THE POWER OF GOD TO GROW THIS LITTLE GUY NOW 5 YEARS LATER:)

I GOT TO SEE PICTURES OF THE DONOR MOM'S TWINS WHEN THEY WERE A FEW WEEKS OLD.... OH... MY....GOODNESS.... THEY WERE JUST PRECIOUS, THEY STILL ARE!! WHEN THE DONOR MOM WAS ASKED HOW SHE FELT ABOUT LEVI'S BIRTH GETTING SO CLOSE. SHE SAID THAT SHE FELT LIKE A GOOD FRIEND WAS HAVING A BABY AND SHE WAS EXCITED FOR HIM TO ENTER THE WORLD. SHE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM. SHE SAID OF COURSE LEVI WILL HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN HER HEART, BUT THAT GOD CONTINUES TO GIVE HER GREAT PEACE ABOUT IT ALL AND THAT SHE KNOWS THAT GOD HAS HIM IN THE RIGHT FAMILY.

SHE HOLDS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART BECAUSE OF HER GIFT OF LEVI TO OUR FAMILY...SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IN LOSING HER HUSBAND AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE... HER MATURITY AMAZES ME AND WHEN I THINK OF HER AS LEVI'S BIOLOGICAL MOM I HAVE TOTAL PEACE...HER SWEET WORDS MADE MY HEART SWELL...

THIS ROAD OF EMBRYO ADOPTION IS SO AMAZING... I AM ASTOUNDED BY GOD'S GOODNESS TO ALL OF US AND HIS ABILITY TO BRING BEAUTY FROM ASHES TO 2 FAMILIES HE CHOSE TO BRING TOGETHER TO GIVE LIFE TO THIS LITTLE GUY...


ANOTHER BPP TOMORROW... I AM SO THANKFUL THAT THIS LAST WEEK OF PREGNANCY IS PASSING BY QUICKLY AS WE WAIT FOR NEXT MONDAY... WE ARE DAILY TRUSTING IN GOD'S WILL AND HIS PLAN FOR OUR FAMILY:) THANKS FOR PRAYING WITH US:)

TO PROCLAIM THE YEAR OF THE LORD'S FAVOR AND THE DAY OF VENGEANCE OF OUR GOD, TO COMFORT ALL WHO MOURN, AND PROVIDE FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE IN ZION- TO BESTOW ON THEM A CROWN OF BEAUTY INSTEAD OF ASHES, THE OIL OF GLADNESS INSTEAD OF MOURNING, AND A GARMENT OF PRAISE INSTEAD OF A SPIRIT OF DESPAIR. THEY WILL BE CALLED OAKS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, A PLANTING OF THE LORD FOR THE DISPLAY OF HIS SPLENDOR.
ISAIAH 61:2-3

SOME PROJECTS, UPDATES AND A PRAYER REQUEST

Here are two of my crochet accomplishments since learning off of You Tube while I have been in the hospital. I made one like the green one for Levi and then Louis asked that I make a boy and girl one to put in the teen auction this Sunday at church... so that kept me busy for a bit:) Didn't my precious hubby do a good job picking out yarn for me:) I had some good laughs trying to guide him through the yarn aisle by phone... the process was pretty fun, but I think the end result turned out ok. This yarn was sort of hard to work with because you can't see your stitches real easily... but in the same breath... it also really hides your mistakes:)

Levi's BPP turned out just fine yesterday. Only 2 more BPP's before he is born...YAY! The ultrasound tech spent a lot of time just looking at his face for fun... OH my I know I am totally bias, but goodness does he look like a cutie pie. He actually looks sort of chubby in the face. I can't wait to get my hands and lips on those precious cheeks:) His non stress tests have been fine too. I have had to stay on longer at times because of contractions... but they have always fizzled out, which is great, and honestly I slept through some of them:)

I got the chance to talk with my sister just a couple of days ago. I wanted to ask you all to pray for her friend Susan. I have prayed for Susan and her family off and on for years. My heart continues to hurt for her as her family seems to continually be bombarded with challenges and trials. She has a 10 year old son Ben who is wheelchair bound and has Cerebral Palsy. This past year he has had trouble with repeated severe seizures that he has had to be hospitalized for. Please pray that they figure out how to get those seizures completely under control. Her husband lost his job and they have numerous other health issues within their immediate family. Just a few weeks ago they found a tumor on Susan's thyroid gland. She will be having surgery on the 14th, the same day we are set to have Levi.

Would you please pray for God's healing touch on her body, and the rest of her family. I am praying that the Lord would strengthen her each day and that He sustains her as she faces yet another trial. Please pray that if it is the Lord's will there wouldn't be any cancer there. Obviously, I hate that she is going through this all, but a part of my heart is glad to be able to pray for someone else. I am glad to be able to take my eyes off of myself and put them on the needs of others too, especially on the day that Levi will hopefully be born. Susan, please know this mama's heart will be praying in earnest for your mama's heart:)

If anyone else has any prayer needs, please leave them in the comments and I can focus on praying over them this week... if you rather leave it privately you can always email me at gshintz@yahoo.com

Thanks for lifting up Susan and her family before our Heavenly Father... much love all!
GOD IS STILL GOD... AND GOD IS STILL GOOD!

HERE COMES THE HONESTY...

This may not be at all what people want to read or hear... but it is the gut level truth...

As a pregnant mom just 12 days out from meeting her newest son, her 5th son, face to face... there are a very wide range of feelings and thoughts that are present for me right now.

I want to FIRST AND FOREMOST make sure I let you all know how overwhelmed I still am with joy over the fact that God allowed us to conceive this special, amazing and miraculous little baby boy Levi.

I have feelings at times where I am totally overcome with imagining what it will be like in 12 days when he is born...

First I have real fear over his birth. I want it to be beautiful, peaceful, joy filled. Yet in my heart I don't know where my emotions will be at considering my last experience delivering Samuel was FULL of some pretty traumatic memories. I do not know that I will be able to separate the two fully. Just like many people who have a serious car accident may have some difficulty getting in the car and driving again... I fear giving birth again.

At times, I will sit and can not help but let me mind go to the beautiful precious places of what it might be like to snuggle this precious little boy, to soak in his newborn smell and precious peach fuzz on his face, watching my kids see Levi for the first time, nursing my sweet little guy...All those beautiful warm fuzzy things most people anticipate with such joy.

Then there are totally conflicting times where I almost want to kick myself for letting my mind go to those places where I feel it could be a reality for us. I have had many friends who have literally lost babies hours before their scheduled C-sections...HOURS... Knowing full well, that I do not know God's plans for Levi's life or ours for that matter... it is a matter of surrendering my will to His! I know that His plan may be for this sweet little guy to live a long life with us, and that is the great desire of our hearts... but I need to surrender also to the fact that God's will may not be for that to happen... As much as that would totally break my heart all over again, I would need to surrender to His will if that is the case as well.

There are times like this morning when it takes them 10 minutes to find him on the monitor. Meanwhile the nurse is nonchalantly chatting about her kids $35,000 smile. In my head i am thinking, please just find the heartbeat and we can talk for as long as you want about whatever. But at the same time I just want to scream, "please take him now, he is still alive!" There is a little bit of controlled chaos going on in my mind right now. It wears me out sometimes.

This is sort of a side note... I know I am having all of these sort of conflicting emotions, that I really haven't shared with many at all... I wonder about the kids. Louis has requested that we wait to get all the baby stuff down until Levi is born. We do have some clothes for the first few weeks that we had set aside over a year ago in case we got a drop off baby through our adoption agencies... but all the rest is still boxed up in the attic where we put it the weekend after Samuel died. Last night Jojo stayed up here at the hospital with me while the bigger kids and Hope went to a friends house while Greg had a meeting up at church. At one point he was overjoyed because I had told him that Levi's birthday would be the day after his. He said, "This is the best day of my life." We continued to talk about when Levi may arrive and of course he stated, like he normally does, "I hope Levi gets to live."

Not but 3 minutes later he was just sobbing saying how much he misses Samuel... We spent quite a few minutes talking about it. I never mentioned anything about Samuel, it was all him. I know they are all processing Levi's upcoming birth in different ways... it will be extremely interesting to see how they all do when he is born. I pray that it is a healing and totally different experience for them compared to Samuel's birth.

I also have struggled a bit with wondering how I will feel emotionally after Levi comes. I have had friends warn me or tell me that they are already praying for me regarding that. As much as I know that Levi will NEVER replace Samuel in anyway... I know that just looking this precious baby in the face will evoke feelings I am not sure how I will handle. I know it will bring my loss of Samuel probably right to the surface. I will, Lord willing if all goes well with Levi, be experiencing everything that I didn't get a chance to experience with Samuel. As much as I will be TOTALLY thrilled to be experiencing all of that with Levi, I know realistically that there may be a part of that, that will be so hard. (Please know that I will never take Levi being born healthy for granted, I would be overjoyed... but yet I know there may be more emotions present as well.)

These are my thoughts on that, I know that many will not be able to understand all of that. I know that may make people uncomfortable. I know that people will just want me to be happy. But for me, this is all part of the journey that the Lord has me on. I NEVER asked or desired for the loss of a child to be a part of my life. But this is the path the Lord has us on. I have always prayed for him to lead me and guide me through each day in this journey of life, whether it is a grief filled day, joy filled day or a mix of both.

I really want this birth and experience to be what the Lord would desire it to be. I want to feel fully all that He has for our family to feel and experience through this... that is how He works. I know that Levi's birth could bring great healing to us... but I also know that sometimes you really have to go through that pain to get to that place of healing. Sometimes you have to go through the muck and mire before He places your feet upon the rock to stand firmly. I want our family to be fully open to what the Lord may have planned for us in this whole experience.

My prayer is that even though I know others may not understand all that fully... I just pray that those that will surround us would be understanding and non judgemental in how we journey through the next 12 days and beyond that. That the Lord would remind their hearts that you can not judge how someone walks the path they are on, especially if they haven't walked in their shoes. And that they would deal with us mercifully, no matter how we are feeling at times.

I thank God for the sweet dear friends that have already acknowledged Samuel amidst these last days of waiting and have even told me that He will not be forgotten in the days when Levi arrives. Unfortunately, these ladies either live out of town or will be out of town most likely when he comes... but it is nice to know that even from afar they will be celebrating Levi's birth, if all goes well, and crying tears with me knowing the wide array of emotions I will be feeling in those days and moments.

Ok, enough rambling on and on... it is just a lot to think through and process... Thank you for praying for some of those specific things. I also would love for you to pray specifically with me that Levi would be a mover in the morning. My specific prayers have been that the Lord would allow him to move in the night when I awake and move quickly in the morning when I get up for good. There are many mornings... he won't move for at least 40-60 minutes ... I really try not to panic and I usually find his heartbeat right away on my home doppler... but I would love to just feel him move right away when I awake over the next couple of weeks. I know that may sound so specific and silly, but it would do my heart good:) Thanks friends. I will keep you posted... another BPP tomorrow....


Blessings to you all!

35 WEEKS AT THE PARK

THE KIDS AT THE PARK NEAR THE HOSPITAL

35 WEEK OLD LEVI.... I THINK I AM SQUISHING GREG:)

DADDY AND HIS GIRLS

TYPICAL WINDY DAY IN OKLAHOMA

HOPE ENJOYING SOME OUTDOOR TIME



I AM SOOOOOO VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE MADE IT TO 35 WEEKS... GROW LEVI GROW:)

YESTERDAY WAS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE SO WE TOOK A WALK TO A PARK CLOSE BY. IT WAS SO NICE OUT... SUCH A TREAT TO SMELL THE FRESH AIR OF DOWNTOWN:) Haha! (I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO OUR COUNTRY AIR AT HOME:) AND BE OUTSIDE OF MY ROOM:)

THEY ALSO BROUGHT ME SOME TACO BELL FROM THE OUTSIDE:) THE HOSPITAL FOOD IS NOT BAD, BUT IT DOES SORT OF ALL TASTE SOMEWHAT THE SAME AFTER 5 WEEKS... I CAN'T COMPLAIN, IT IS JUST REALLY NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE COOK FOR ME:) I HAD FRIENDS THE OTHER DAY BRING ME PEI WEI... YUMMO, SUCH A TREAT:)

LAST NIGHT I DID WATCH THE OSCARS. I THINK THAT IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE REALLY EVER WATCHED THE WHOLE SHOW. I WAS CROCHETING WHILE I WATCHED...(I FINISHED THE BABY BOY AND BABY GIRL HATS THAT LOUIS WANTED ME TO DONATE FOR THE TEEN AUCTION AT CHURCH THIS WEEKEND) HONESTLY, I REALLY ONLY WATCHED TO SEE ALL THE DRESSES, IS THAT SILLY OR WHAT? I LIKE TO GO TO THE MOVIES, IT IS JUST A REAL RARITY FOR US, SO I AM NEVER THAT FAMILIAR WITH ALL THE ACTORS OR EVEN THE MOVIES...

THEY SHOULD TAKE ME DOWN FOR MY BIO PHYSICAL PROFILE SHORTLY... I WILL TRY TO FILL YOU IN ON THAT IN A BIT... OTHERWISE NOT TOO MUCH IS GOING ON TODAY... THE BIG BOYS HAVE SOCCER PRACTICE TONIGHT SO THEY WILL NOT GET TO COME UP AND VISIT TODAY.
ROOM:)



THEY SHOULD TAKE ME DOWN FOR MY BIO PHYSICAL PROFILE SHORTLY... I WILL TRY TO FILL YOU IN ON THAT IN A BIT... OTHERWISE NOT TOO MUCH IS GOING ON TODAY... THE BIG BOYS HAVE SOCCER PRACTICE TONIGHT SO THEY WILL NOT GET TO COME UP AND VISIT TODAY.



THE BIO PHYSICAL PROFILE WENT FINE. HE SCORED FINE ON EVERYTHING. THE FLUID LEVEL WAS A LITTLE ABOVE NORMAL, SO I WILL ASK MY DOCTOR IN THE MORNING IF THAT IS OK. LEVI WAS HEAD DOWN TODAY. USUALLY HE IS HEAD DOWN WITH ONE BPP ON A MONDAY AND HEAD UP BY THE NEXT BPP ON THURSDAY. HE HAS STAYED HEAD DOWN NOW TWICE, SO MAYBE HE IS THERE TO STAY. HE HAS TO RUNNING OUT OF ROOM I WOULD THINK. THE TECH ALSO SHOWED ME HIS HAIR. I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE POINT THAT OUT TO ME... SO APPARENTLY LEVI WILL HAVE HAIR:) I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE IT!!

CAREGIVERS:)

This may sound a little bizarre, but there are parts of this hospital stay that have been such a blessing to me....

When ever I feel like I could lose my mind with missing the kids and Greg soooo sooo much, I try to remind myself that I probably will not have time to myself like this anywhere in the near future. Now, I would never want to go on with this much time of my own... yet at the same time, I remember days where it truly was difficult to find 10 minutes of quiet. I am thankful to have time to read my bible for as long as I want, or to take up a new hobby like crocheting... I am really trying to focus on all of the positives.

I have had lots of people visiting from church or my MEND group. It has really been nice to have time to get to know some of the people from our church better. It is a gift to just have time to visit with them without interruptions, that is really hard to come by for me at church normally, so I have enjoyed that part of these days. I also have treasured my visits from my MEND friends. It has been nice to process and talk about all that has been going on in my mind with people that fully understand. 3 of these gals have had the anniversaries of their babies deaths in the last couple of weeks or in the coming couple of weeks. It is so nice to share what we are feeling and to know that it is normal. ( I have really missed the regular MEND meetings while I have been on bed rest)


I have to tell you I have been so blessed by the nurses. There have only been a couple that I haven't been real fond of, or that were not very friendly. It is amazing what a difference a friendly nurse makes. I had one the other night that was so short with me. When she would monitor me, she would come in look at the strip tell me she was leaving me on longer and walk out... I had been watching the strip myself and it seemed good comparing it to all the others I have seen since here... Just the fact that she was so quiet sort of made me nervous. It was all fine, but just their demeanor can make a big difference in how I feel at times.

But for the most part they have been so awesome, and so caring. I have had so many nice conversations with so many of them. They are great care givers as well. The first couple of weeks, whenever they would come in and check my swelling the nurses would ask about my tattoo of Samuel's footprint. I loved sharing about it and my sweet Samuel... and the neat thing was that they really wanted to know about him:) They were very compassionate as well:)

I have had a lot of neat conversations also about how sweet little Levi came to be. This automatically gives me the chance to share about our view on life and when it begins and how much we value it:) Of course sharing about Samuel and Levi have given me many opportunities to share about my faith and how that has come into play with everything that has happened with our family over the last 2+ years. That has been such a sweet part of this hospital stay... I find it almost humorous that I can look at parts of this 5 weeks hospital stay so far as sweet:) I love how God can do that:)

Greg's parents have been here all this past week and will leave the beginning of this coming week. I know the kids have loved it and hopefully the inlaws have too:) I know it was a lot of work for them to be in charge of all of the kids for the week... but we are so very thankful for their help.

My parents are planning on coming next weekend and then they will be here hopefully when Levi arrives, if we make it to the 14th of March:) It will be great for Greg to feel like part of the load of taking care of the kids will be lifted that last week before Levi arrives, Lord willing:)

My doctor actually said they may induce me in the evening of the 13th depending on how things look... That means only 15 more sleeps for me if that were to be the case. Now that makes me smile:)

He also did mention that the hospital case worker wondered if we would have any issues with inducing me at 37 weeks if for some reason Levi needs any NICU time... Typically they will take a baby 3 weeks before when you lost your previous baby. 37 weeks is considered full term. I would think that it would be a slam dunk given my previous still birth, my placenta issues, high blood pressure, etc. I would think that they have plenty of medical reasons to induce at that point. Would you please pray that they will not want to go beyond the 14th... and that we can all joyfully agree on that if something doesn't happen before? I would so appreciate it!

I know that so many of my viewpoints have changed from my previous natural childbirth class teaching days... I still totally love all that, but at this point, I am in a totally different place. We don't want to take a single chance as Levi's parents. We are praying for the Lord to lead and guide us in making any decisions we might need to and for complete wisdom for the doctors who are caring for Levi and me. It is in His hands. Thanks for praying for Levi and our family these last couple of months....

FOR YOU CREATED MY INMOST BEING; YOU KNIT ME TOGETHER IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB. I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE; YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL! PSALM 139:13-14

HOPE'S BIRTHDAY AND 34 WEEKS 2 DAYS

BIRTHDAY GIRL and HER BIRTHDAY CAKE:)

LAST SATURDAY WE HAD A LITTLE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HOPE UP HERE AT THE HOSPITAL. SHE WAS PRETTY CLUELESS AS FAR AS IT BEING FOR HER. SHE SANG ALONG AS WE SANG TO HER... BUT REALLY DIDN'T GET THAT IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY.

IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE SHE IS MATURING AND TURNING A CORNER... SHE IS LISTENING AND OBEYING A LOT BETTER. SHE GENERALLY IS DOING SO WELL AND MAKES US LAUGH A LOT... SHE IS TURNING MORE INTO A HAM WITH EACH PASSING DAY AND THAT OF COURSE GETS LOTS OF ATTENTION FROM THE BIGGER KIDS. WE ARE SO THANKFUL THAT GOD CHOSE US TO BE HER PARENTS.

As usual, I accidentally lost one of the pictures that Louis loaded on here... I can't figure out what I keep doing... and then to be honest, I purposely deleted 3 pictures of my belly after the kids had painted it... The stretch marks and the size... TOO BIG to post bare at this point:) (When the kids were here this past Sunday they had fun putting their hand prints all over my ever enlarging tummy... We did the same thing with Samuel, so they were looking forward to putting their little hands all over Levi.)


Honestly, I have had so many things on my mind lately, that I sort of have been avoiding posting because I can't quite articulate it all... HMMMMM...

Tomorrow, or actually by the time this posts, I will be 34 weeks 2 days pregnant. That brings me great comfort. I feel like if he is born now or even a week from now we should be in pretty good shape... obviously there are never any guarantees... But I feel like I will at some point feel like he will be safer outside of me than in me... I know that may not make total sense to many... but I can feel myself getting closer and closer to being at that point.

Yesterday at Levi's biophysical profile, he did great:) His non stress tests been fine. I have been having contractions off and on, but nothing big and WAY less than I was having, so that is a good thing. The really fun and exciting part is that they estimated him to be 5 lbs. 7 oz. Yay... for big boy Levi:) Obviously, that is + or - up to 13 oz. But she said that the machines are pretty new and they have found them to be more accurate than what they used to have. So he is measuring a little big for his age:) The doctor was really happy with his size.

So the plan is still March 14th unless he comes earlier or isn't getting what he needs. Please continue to pray for God's will to be done in his precious little life Our hope and prayer is that he will be kept safe inside of my womb and that they will catch anything that seems amiss. I am looking a lot bigger all of a sudden and he is really feeling a lot bigger too... I feel it when he moves and wiggles around. I love to feel him move.

Greg's parents stayed with the kids tonight so Greg brought dinner up to me. We had such a nice night... it was so nice to be able to talk uninterrupted and to not have to share the time with all the kiddos. I miss the kids like crazy, but when they all come it is jam packed trying to give them all attention. I loved the one on one time with my honey:) We are very thankful to have his parent's help this week. I am sure they will be ready for a vacation when they leave this weekend.

Thanks for all of the prayers and love... I will try to post soon about all the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are accompanying me these days:)

WHEELCHAIR RIDE PRIVILEDGES:)

MY BUDDY JO AND I:) I THINK THE DAYS ARE ARRIVING WHEN I WILL HAVE TO START LOOKING INTO SOME ANTI-AGING CREAM... OH MY THE WRINKLES UNDER THOSE EYES:) YIKES! WILL ALMOST 8 WEEKS ON BED REST DO THAT TO YOU?? I THOUGHT IT WOULD DO THE OPPOSITE:)

AS GREG AND I SAT WHILE THE KIDS RAN AROUND, WE WERE BOTH REMARKING ON HOW MUCH TALLER ANNA HAS GOTTEN... WHERE DID THE LITTLE GIRL GO???

SWEET PRECIOUS BROTHERS... JUST WAITING TO WELCOME ANOTHER...

LOUIS AND TOOTS:)

YAY, The big news this week is that I got wheelchair privileges...(I know not such big news... which means it has been a quiet week... Praise God!!) Basically now I can 2 times a day go for wheelchair rides around the hospital or even outside.... ahhhhh... it has been so nice!!



I love being outside... honestly when we had the last BIG snowstorm I was dying to put on some boots and head out for a long walk in the snow. I really don't think that I have ever been inside for this many days in a row. I am not at all complaining... I am right where I need and want to be for now:)

It is funny though... whenever I have visitors that is usually one of their questions, what am I doing to keep busy? and How am I doing in here for so long away from the kids and Greg? Honestly, that again has totally been the grace of God. I know this will sound crazy, but it hasn't been bad at all and the time is really passing by quickly. (Probably a whole lot more quickly for me than for Greg:) I am used to being with my kids pretty much 24/7 so really, I thought I would be going crazy. I have had a few brief moments where I have thought, I don't think I can be away from them or locked up here for another minute... But quickly I remind myself that in the big picture it really is for such a short time and that the Lord will carry us through this time, with hopefully great memories and Lord willing a good outcome in the end. So all in all, it hasn't been bad at all... I think He is blessing me with some quiet which I know will be a rarity for the next 18 years of life after I leave here:) (I can't wait for that:)

My in-laws arrived safely. They all came for a visit yesterday and we took a walk just outside the hospital to a sort of park like area where we took the pictures above. The kids ran around and it was gorgeous out... For me, it was such a treat to see the kids run and play. In the hospital room, it is controlled play and poor Hope, just can't really get all the wiggles out in here, so it was really fun to have a change of scenery together:)

Speaking of Toots:) , She is 2 today. I believe they are all going to bring up a cake this afternoon and we will celebrate her precious life together this afternoon. It will be so different than last year when there was so much wondering and hoping that she would be ours. Ahhhh... Praise be to God for how that all worked out.

This week I found out some interesting info on the outcome for the whole reason why her adoption was held up for so long and why there were so many delays and court dealings. I was glad to get this info as it is finally some sort of closure on that end, but at the same time it does leave me wondering for her safety and even the rest of us at times. But, that being said, I have to continually put her life into God's hands and trust Him with what He has in store for her and us. (Not always easy as we all know:)

LOOKING FORWARD TO CELEBRATING SWEET BABY GIRL TODAY... AND ALL THE OTHER SWEET LITTLE BLESSINGS HE HAS GIVEN TO ME:)

QUIET ON THE HOSPITAL FRONT...

IT HAS BEEN A REAL BLESSING TO HAVE GONE 6 DAYS WITH OUT A TRIP TO LABOR AND DELIVERY. I HAVE BEEN HAVING WAY LESS CONTRACTIONS THE LAST FEW DAYS, WHICH HAS BEEN NICE:) IS IT THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM? PROBABLY NOT... THE STORM WILL COME EVENTUALLY:)

MY SISTER IN LAW IS HAVING HER SCHEDULED C-SECTION TOMORROW MORNING. PLEASE PRAY THAT THEIR BABY ARRIVES SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT THINGS GO ACCORDING TO THE PLAN.

LEVI'S BIO PHYSICAL PROFILE CAME BACK GOOD YESTERDAY. YAY LEVI:) I HAVE TO ADMIT THOUGH EACH TIME WE GO BACK IN I SORT OF WONDER IS THIS IS THE TIME WHERE SOMETHING WILL BE NOT QUITE RIGHT AND WE WILL NEED TO TAKE HIM...

I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING THAT IF HE HOLDS OFF FOR JUST A COUPLE MORE WEEKS THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT HE MAY NOT EVEN NEED NICU TIME. I KNOW BABY BOYS TEND TO NOT BE AS STRONG AS BABY GIRLS... IT JUST ALL SEEMS LIKE IT IS FAR OFF, YET AT THE SAME TIME SOOOO SOOOO CLOSE:)

I HADN'T PLANNED ON SEEING THE KIDS AND GREG YESTERDAY, SINCE WE HAD SPENT A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER ON SUNDAY. BUT MY HONEY HAD A SURPRISE FOR ME. HE CAME UP WITH SPARKLING CIDER, CHOCOLATE, ROSES, AND EVEN ROSE PETALS TO SPREAD ON THE HOSPITAL FOOD TRAY... JUST PRECIOUS. IT WAS SUCH A NICE SURPRISE... I KNEW OTHERWISE IT WAS GOING TO BE A BIT OF A LONELY DAY... I AM SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE... AND HE IS HANDLING THINGS SOOOO WELL AT HOME.

MY IN-LAWS ARE COMING IN TO HELP THIS THURSDAY FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE. WE HAVE HAD SUCH GREAT HELP FROM FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AT CHURCH, BUT I KNOW THAT HAVING HIS PARENTS HERE WILL REALLY GIVE GREG A BREAK. FROM DOING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY EACH EVENING. I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS WILL WORK OUT. I KNOW THE KIDS WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME TOO:) IT WILL ALSO GIVE OUR OTHER HELPERS A BREAK FOR A WEEK AS WELL:) AND THEN AFTER THEY LEAVE IT WILL BE 2 WEEKS AT THE MOST THAT WE WILL NEED HELP UNTIL LEVI MAKES HIS ARRIVAL, LORD WILLING.

WHEN WE BREAK IT DOWN IT ALL SEEMS MORE MANAGEABLE:)

I ALSO WANT TO ASK THAT YOU PRAY FOR LOUIS... HE HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH SOME THINGS... HE IS SUCH A BLESSING AND AN AMAZING KID. GREG AND I ARE REALLY SEEKING THE LORD'S GUIDANCE IN HOW TO HELP HIM THROUGH THIS... THANK YOU FOR PRAYING WITH US...


ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I MOST LOOK FORWARD TO AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL IS TO BE ABLE TO SPEND THAT ONE ON ONE TIME WITH EACH OF THE KIDS. WHEN THEY COME FOR A VISIT, IT IS JAM PACKED WITH TRYING TO LOVE ON THEM ALL... I MISS THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS WITH EACH ONE.... PRAY THAT THEY FEEL THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR EACH OF THEM AND THAT THE LORD BLESSES THEIR LITTLE HEARTS DURING THIS TIME AWAY FROM MOM:)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ALONG SIDE ME DURING THIS TIME AND LIFTING US UP BEFORE THE LORD IN PRAYER.... YOU CAN NOT KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO US.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY PRAYER REQUESTS OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE. I WOULD LOVE TO PRAY FOR YOU THIS WEEK:)

TIME ON MY HANDS...

WHEN I ASK LOU TO PICK SOME PICTURES AND POST THEM... YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT HE WILL COME UP WITH... MAKES ME WONDER A LITTLE BIT WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON AT THE HOME FRONT:) THIS IS SO JOJO... LOOKS LIKE IN ADDITION TO THE HUNTING ATTIRE HE HAS SOME BLUE MARKER AND CHOCOLATE ON HIS FACE:)

MY SWEET ANNA... GETTING SO BIG...

32 WEEKS 5 DAYS WITH LEVI... LOUIS JUST TOOK THIS PICTURE TONIGHT WHEN THEY CAME TO SEE ME AT THE HOSPITAL...

BECAUSE I AM ON BEDREST, I AM USUALLY RECLINING... IT SEEMS LIKE I AM MUCH SMALLER THAN NORMAL... I THINK IT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT UP AND ABOUT. NORMALLY WITH MY PREGNANCIES I HAVE FELT HUGE AND EVEN HUGER BY THE END OF THE DAY:)

IT WAS FUNNY THOUGH BECAUSE THIS MORNING WHEN MY NURSE, SWEET DEZRA CAME IN, RIGHT AWAY SHE SAID, "WOW, YOU ARE GETTING BIGGER" YAY!!! IT MADE MY HEART SWELL... I LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY SOOOO MUCH!

TWO LITTLE GOOFBALLS... I LOVE HOW HOPE'S HAIR IS GROWING, IT MAKES HER LOOK SO MUCH OLDER AND DIFFERENT IN LOTS OF WAYS... I LOVE HER CURLS:)



I MET ANOTHER OF MY DOCTOR'S ASSOCIATES TODAY... I LIKED HER, WE DIDN'T TALK LONG, BUT SHE SEEMED NICE ENOUGH...

I HAVE HAD A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS, AND YESTERDAY I GOT A BETTER IDEA OF HOW MUCH TIME I MAY REALLY HAVE BEFORE HE ARRIVES.

WHEN MY DOCTOR COME IN YESTERDAY MORNING, I ASKED HIM WHAT THE CHANCES ARE THAT I WILL ACTUALLY GET HIM TO DELIVER LEVI. HE SAID THAT GIVEN THE ISSUES I HAVE GOING ON AND THE PREVIOUS STILLBIRTH THAT HE WOULDN'T LET ME GO PAST MONDAY MARCH 14TH, WHICH WOULD BE 37 WEEKS. (MY GUT FEELING IS THAT I WON'T MAKE IT THAT FAR... BUT I COULD BE TOTALLY WRONG:) MARCH 14TH WOULD PUT ME AT JUST 29 DAYS AWAY... IT IS SO NICE TO FEEL LIKE THE END IS IN SIGHT.

HE DID SAY TOO, THAT HE FEELS LIKE MOST LIKELY WE WILL HAVE TO INDUCE ME, SO THAT WOULD MAKE IT MORE LIKELY TOO, THAT HE WOULD BE THE ONE TO DELIVER LEVI. THAT IS ONE OF MY BIG PRAYER REQUESTS RIGHT NOW. TRULY, I HAVEN'T BEEN IMPRESSED WITH ANY OF HIS ASSOC. BUT AT LEAST A COUPLE HAVE BEEN OK:)

I HAVE NOT REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE DELIVERY MUCH. I USED TO BE A NATURAL CHILDBIRTH TEACHER AND BIRTH DOULA... I LOVED THAT ALL, IT WAS TOTALLY ONE OF MY PASSIONS. HONESTLY THOUGH, WITH SAMUEL'S BIRTH BEING AS SAD, SCARY, AND TRAUMATIC IN MANY WAYS AS IT WAS, I HAVE JUST CHOSEN NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT THE DETAILS OF THE UPCOMING BIRTH.

NOW THAT I KNOW THAT WE ARE GETTING CLOSER AND THE END IS IN SIGHT, I AM GETTING A LITTLE SCARED ABOUT THE BIRTH ITSELF. I HAVE PRETTY MUCH RESOLVED MYSELF TO THE FACT THAT IT WON'T BE MY "DREAM" BIRTH AS FAR AS THE PROCESS GOES, AND REALLY I AM TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT. I JUST WANT HIM TO ARRIVE SAFE AND SOUND AND HOWEVER THAT HAPPENS, I CAN BE FINE WITH SURRENDERING TO HOWEVER IT GOES DOWN... BUT I AM A LITTLE LEARY ABOUT THE PROCESS ITSELF.

IT WAS JUST REALLY NICE TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT MORE DETAILS OF WHEN THIS LITTLE GUY MIGHT ARRIVE.


I HAVE MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR TODAY. I WANT TO TRY TO POST SOON ABOUT ALL THE NEAT AND INTERESTING DISCUSSIONS I HAVE HAD WITH THE NURSES LATELY. I HAVE BEEN SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE REALLY KIND NURSES:)

MUCH LOVE!! SPEAKING OF LOVE... WITH VALENTINE'S DAY, I AM KEEPING BUSY TRYING TO COME UP WITH SOME HOMEMADE VALENTINES FOR GREG AND THE KIDS... SHOULD BE INTERESTING:)

MY SWEET LEVI

Tonight I had quite a scare...

Please know that I never share with you to share the "drama" part of life. Really I never felt like we had much drama in our life until the last couple of years. I only share so that you can know what is going on and so that you can pray.


I was on the monitor for the non stress test and I was contracting a fair amount again. They wouldn't let me eat and then kept me on the monitor. I continued to have them for about 2 1/2 hours and then the doc on call ordered an IV again and a shot of Terbutaline... just like the other night, to slow it all down.

Probably 40 minutes after that Levi's heart rate started to drop... I could hear that it was much slower... He will do that on occasion, but normally he will drop to about 105 at the lowest and pops back up in seconds... This was different. He dropped to the low 90's and then the nurse couldn't find him at all. He moves around a lot when they monitor me so we are constantly adjusting the belts to get him back on... that happens often, but it only takes a short while to get him back on.

Tonight the nurse tried for like a minute, left the room to get another nurse to try, she couldn't find it ANYWHERE.. I could see their concern and just said, "You know my history, please do whatever you need to do for the baby and don't waste any time." They started to sort of panic and pulled all the plugs and rushed me down to labor and delivery. When I got there, it had probably been at least 4 minutes since we heard his heartbeat. I was starting to PANIC...

The whole time I was alone, praying for God to protect Levi, and asking them to hurry, and not waste any time. When we got to the room it took them 3 minutes to finally locate his heart rate and make sure it wasn't mine. There were probably 7 nurses in the room rushing around. They pushed more fluids and monitored Levi and the contractions on the monitor until the Doc on call came in to see me. Levi's heart rate recovered great... Thank God!!


Well the doctor on call said he probably laid on his cord, but he was fine and he wasn't concerned at all. He basically said that maybe it slowed or they could not find it but that I paniced and that caused the nurses to panic. (The funny thing was that the nurse called Greg and a couple friends for me that live really close to the hospital and told them they couldn't locate the heart rate and they may have to do a quick C-section. I was so thankful to have my friends get here so that I wasn't alone. When I came back to my room, the nurses were as sweet as pie and she admitted that they were worried and that normally if they can't locate a baby right a way... it just takes a bit and that this was much longer than normal.


It just made me mad at the doctor that he was implying my worry was the problem.
(Honestly, before his slowed heartrate... I was chilling watching American Idol just as calm as can be. ) After the doctor left one of the nurses from Labor and Delivery came back in and was REALLY nice... God totally had her there. She said that many of the nurses had experienced losses in the past and I had done nothing wrong... Levi had done a little something, bad position, laying on his cord, whatever but that he had done that and was fine now. It turns out the nurse had lost a baby 3 days after birth 6 years ago and now has a 7 year old with Leukemia. She was incredibly nice and supportive. She validated all the fears and worries I had with Levi's heart rate dropping like that. She made all the difference in the world. Please pray for Karen's 7 year old son if you think of it.

So, I am back in my regular room for now... I would appreciate your prayers for my heart. I will admit that I totally lost it after they found his heart beat and after the doctor left and Greg had arrived. My emotions are high...


Really, I am at peace for the most part, but there is still concern in my heart for Levi. Please continue to pray for his protection... and pray that my visit with my doctor goes well tomorrow and that he wouldn't make me feel stupid for what happened tonight, but would validate my feelings as this little guys mama! Please pray too, thanking
God that Levi was safe and protected through that scary time tonight. Thankyou!

THOUGHTS...

32 WEEKS 2 DAYS:)

EMBARKING ON DAY 37 OF BED REST ... DAY 16 OF HOSPITAL BED REST

AWAITING ANOTHER 5-12 INCHES OF SNOW IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS:)

SO WISH I COULD GET OUT THERE WITH THE KIDS AND PLAY IN IT:)

AT THE SAME TIME SOOOOO HAPPY TO BE SAFE AT THE HOSPITAL...

ANOTHER GOOD BIOPHYSICAL PROFILE YESTERDAY

GOOD NON STRESS TESTS TODAY::)

I HAVE OCCASIONAL CONTRACTIONS, BUT THANKFULLY NOTHING LIKE LAST SATURDAY NIGHT.

YESTERDAY HE WAS BREECH... HE SEEMS TO BE BACK AND FORTH WITH EACH ULTRASOUND

TURN BACK HEAD DOWN AND SETTLE IN LITTLE GUY:)

ABSOLUTELY LOVE FEELING LEVI WIGGLE AROUND DURING THE DAY

STILL WISH HE WOULD MOVE MORE AT NIGHT...

TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF TO CROCHET

WANTED TO MAKE LEVI A HAT...

TURNS OUT, I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT FOLLOWING THE YOU TUBE DIRECTIONS AND IT WILL BE ANNA WHO ENDS UP WITH THIS FIRST HAT:)

I THINK I HAVE MADE A PERMANENT REAR END INDENTATION IN MY HOSPITAL BED

I LOVE TALKING WITH THE KIDS AT NIGHT AND HEARING ALL ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE DAY

THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF FORT BUILDING AT THE HINTZ HOUSE LATELY:)

I HAVE ENJOYED THE FREEDOM TO HAVE MORE QUIET TIME WITH MY SAVIOR

I HAVE MISSED HAVING UNLIMITED TIME WITH MY KIDDOS

TALKED OVER THE BIRTH WITH THE DOCTOR TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME

WONDERING HOW I WILL DO EMOTIONALLY ON DELIVERY DAY...

I HAD A LACTATION CONSULTANT DELIVER MY LUNCH TODAY AND WAS ABLE TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT NURSING A PREMATURE BABY

HAVE STRUGGLED WITH A LITTLE MORE FEAR TODAY OF LOSING ANOTHER CHILD....

TRYING TO TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE AND MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST...

HOPEFULLY ONLY 34 DAYS UNTIL WE MEET THIS SWEET LITTLE MIRACLE PUMPKIN FACE TO FACE... MAYBE LESS:)

SO THANKFUL THAT HE IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND FOREVER... REGARDLESS OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES AT THE MOMENT...

RESTING IN HIM <>< TONIGHT AS I HIT THE HAY...:)

A LITTLE EXCITEMENT LAST NIGHT

Here is the update on the little bit of excitement around my room last night.

I was on the phone with Greg around 8:45 when I started to feel some contractions. I really thought that they were just Braxton Hicks... the nurse later came in and was asking me how painful they were... really they weren't painful... the tightening was just a little uncomfortable. About a 1/2 an hour later I called the nurse in just to see if they could monitor me because I had about 6 of them in that 1/2 hour.

She came back in and said..."Ahhh , those aren't Braxton Hicks, those are real contractions." Hmmmm... they made me use the bathroom, drink more fluids as sometimes those 2 things will get them to stop... NOPE!

They then tried a shot of Terbutaline to stop them... NOPE! So they took me down to labor and delivery around midnight. They checked to make sure I didn't have a UTI that was causing the contractions. They checked and I was dilated 1 cm. and only 25 % effaced. They also did a fetalfibronectin test that determines if you are likely to deliver your baby in the next two weeks. Thankfully that came back negative... so that was a good sign:) They then gave me an IV with lots fluids and another shot of the Terbutaline and thankfully that worked to slow them down.

I was so thankful to God, because the next step was going to be to put me on Magnesium Sulfate and give me more steroids for Levi's lungs... and from everything that I have heard... Magnesium Sulfate is really a big bummer.

They moved me back to my room around 4:30 am. And then I got some sleep:) My doctor came back in this morning and had them cap off my iv. So we will see what happens from here...

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I am having some of these complications or different things happening that haven't ever happened in pregnancy for me before, because Levi isn't genetically ours. Just a thought... Levi has handled it all great... Thank you God for this precious little guy... I just can not wait to set my eyes on him... Will he have blue or brown eyes? Will he have any hair or none at all? Will it be light or dark if he does have hair... oh my... my curiosity kills me sometimes :)

I have been reading Hebrews lately... When I read about the great heroes of the faith in Chapter 11, I am always amazed how it mentions, I think 2 different times, how each of them were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things they were promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance... It goes on to talk about them being strangers here on earth and longing for another home... a heavenly home... It just strikes me that they welcome the things that they were promised from a distance... but do not receive them before they die! That is the true faith... faith when you don't receive what you want... Tried and true faith... faith through the mountaintops and deep despairing valleys of life... Hmmmm I know that I have that faith... but I will be the first to say that my sinful human side does get in the way... Oh Lord keep working in my heart this journey of faith that you have me on...

Here is another verse from Hebrews that I love... lets keep runnning the race friends!!

HEBREWS 12:1-2
THEREFORE, SINCE WE ARE SURROUNDED BY SUCH A GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES, LET US THROW OFF EVERYTHING THAT HINDERS AND THE SIN THAT SO EASILY ENTANGLES, AND LET US RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE THE RACE MARKED OUT FOR US. LET US FIX OUR EYES ON JESUS, THE AUTHOR AND PERFECTER OF OUR FAITH...

BEDREST DAY 28

Some how I lost the photo that Louis had uploaded on here... Oh well maybe another day...

So we have survived 28 days with the mama of the house being on bedrest:)

I have been here in the hospital for one week. I have to tell you that I am soooooo happy that I am here right now as the thunder is starting to roll through town. Weird, we are about to get a blizzard, but it is thundering at the moment. It is predicted that we could get any where between 8-20 inches of snow. CRAZY!!! That would be record breaking for OK. The last snowstorm of around 2 inches shut down schools for 2 days. It is predicted to not get above freezing until Saturday and with limited snowplows and such I would not at all be surprised if the city sort of shuts down till almost then. A lot of times it just takes until it melts for things to get back to normal. All of the schools are already canceled for tomorrow so we shall see what happens.

Greg brought the kids up here tonight for a couple of hours. It was such a treat to see them as I know that I may not see them until the weekend. I am really praying that they don't lose power at home... I know that I should be just fine up here at the hospital, but we will be having temps below zero. I pray that they will be safe, warm and protected at home. I am just so thankful that I am up here to be able to keep a close eye on Levi as often as needed.

For now they are doing 3 nonstress tests on him each day... he has been doing great on those. Then every MWF they are doing a biophysical profile on him.

Today we had the biophysical profile done and get this....

They estimated him to be weighing 4 lbs. 5 oz. +or - 10 oz. From what I have read, babies at around 31 weeks are usually just over 3 pounds. So most likely Levi is anywhere between 3lb. 11oz. and 4 lb. 15 oz. I am just so happy that he is still growing. That is a good sign that the placenta is still functioning fine at this point even though it isn't looking good. He looked good today and was doing everything he needed to do for them. The blood flow through the cord looked good as well as the fluid levels, all of which help to show that at this point the placenta is doing what it needs to do for now.

So for now.... the longest I will be here would be 6 weeks since they said they would deliver me at 37 weeks regardless. But most likely it will be earlier because of the placenta.

I know 6 weeks seems like a really long time. But for some crazy reason, to me it doesn't . It feels like a very small price to pay to help get Levi here safely. We are so blessed to have friends that have helped figure out a schedule for Greg to do all he needs to do for work, and to have some adults supervise the kids at home a few days a week or to go to friends houses. Another HUGE blessing has been the meals that our church family has provided for us. That has given Greg the time to take care of his work, the kids, and the house.

The kids have really done great considering we have done this for a month now. I am really proud of them and my amazing husband. I believe my husband is getting a whole new sense and appreciation for all that it takes to keep the family going on a daily basis on the homefront.
He is doing a great job.

It has been sort of an emotional week... we will see if I have the energy to post about it... but thank God it has gotten so much better in the last few days.

I am sleeping soooooo much better here. And that feels amazing. I look so forward to this little pumpkin making his arrival sometime in the somewhat near future. It is really hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he really could be born anytime. I pray he gets a few more weeks to continue growing.


I have yet to even walk by the baby nursery... I have a hard time believing that we will have a little guy in there in the next 6 weeks. I know Levi is in the Lord's hands... My heart and brain truly at times can't fully comprehend that I am even pregnant... (I know that sounds nuts) I was sharing with a friend that came by to visit today, all about the whole process of Levi's embryo adoption. I am overcome with gratefulness to God that he allowed this precious little guy to survive the thaw and grow and thrive inside of me... What a miracle and precious gift.

Thanks for your continued prayers friends!

HE MAKETH THE BARREN WOMAN TO KEEP HOUSE, AND TO BE A JOYFUL MOTHER OF CHILDREN. PRAISE YE THE LORD! PSALM 113:9

The kids are coming to visit...

As I type this the kids and Greg are all coming back up to the hospital to see me....

Yep, I had another little episode with some high bp at home yesterday morning. So we had to come directly in. Levi has looked great.... I am sooooo thankful for that. They are running another 24 hour protein check so I think that should be back soon. I may get to leave tonight or most likely if not tonight then tomorrow. We will see, but I did get a great nights sleep here last night. It was wonderful to sleep peacefully.



The kids, Papa and I had a really nice visit. I was able to put little pig tails in Hope's hair. Man, she looks precious with those little curly things on the top of her head.

The 4 older kids and I played a few rounds of Monopoly Deal. That is probably our favorite card game. It is sort of like Monopoly, but has lots of strategy and you can finish a game in 5-30 minutes. It is really fun. Caleb usually beats us all. He is one of the most competitive kids I know.

Anyways, back to being here...

They have me out on the recovery floor and I can hear lots of happy people gushing over babies in the hallways. It has me longing for that happy ending. (Of course I am always longing for that:) But is a little different after losing Samuel. The longing is different. It has me missing Samuel more and in a different way these last few days. I can not help but wonder what my 2 and a half year old baby boy would be doing if he were here now... ohhhhh my sweet little baby boy.

Then at the same time my heart will just burst love for this little boy in my belly. It is a weird but wonderful mix of emotions. I can not wait to, Lord willing tell Levi all about his older precious brother and what a precious gift that each of them is to our family. As much as I know Levi needs to stay put for a bit longer... I am just dying to set eyes on his precious face.

Oh Lord, Please Father protect this precious miracle that you have given to us for the last 30 weeks. Lord, His life is in your loving strong hands. Continue to knit him together, each and every last bit of his body. Lord, carry our family as we wait for him to be born. Give Greg and I wisdom and loving grace as we deal with our other kids and their questions and thoughts with all that is going on. Your will be done Father... make your will our own... Calm our anxious hearts.... may we rest more in you each day! To you alone be the glory!

Much Love friends!

30 WEEKS:)

Here are Levi and I at 30 weeks... Yay... Praise God!!

I am so thankful that we have been able to keep him in there for an additional 3 weeks and hopefully, at least 3 more.

I am shocked that 3 weeks have passed since I have been put on bedrest... it really has gone quickly... except for the hours between 1:00 and 6:00am... I am having such a hard time sleeping... I should be well prepared for the lack of sleep that will come after he arrives, Lord willing.

My appointment with my OB went well today. Levi did just fine with the NST and the biophysical profile again. I called another high risk doctor for a 2nd opinion, but the receptionist said that they don't see people with out a referral... She said she would tell him my situation and then see if he would meet with me and then she said she would call me back. I didn't hear back from them today... I am hoping tomorrow. My doctor did set my mind somewhat at ease. And I know I have said it over and over again... I really do like him. He has great bedside manner.

Greg and I laughed today as we find it so amusing the care you get from different nurses. You would think that they would in general be compassionate people... but that doesn't always seem to be the case. I know and fully understand that I don't know the circumstances that each may face each day... but it is so amazing when you are the patient... how far a smile and a warm disposition can go in making you feel more at ease. Compared to when you may have someone who as Greg says, "Comes in with their MAD on."

It really does make me want to be more attentive to my disposition in general... I have always admired those who just seem to have a soft smile on their face all the time. I remember my Aunt Adrienne, who had 7 kids, telling me once that when she was cleaning she always tried to hum... it just made her feel happier while she was working... I may have to try that... but it might drive my boys crazy:)

Anyways, enough rambling for today...

Thanking God for another week with our Levi... praying for his continued safety and protection... so thankful that God has given him to us...

Jesus in Every Book of the Bible

I have to first off to please excuse all the errors in my last posts and my coming posts. I am doing them all from an IPod so basically it is like I am texting the whole thing. It will auto fill words and also is really hard to edit things...so please bear with me.

Hello friends. Not too much is new unless you consider my eldest son and I are getting reedy to watch a "New to us movie". The Ultimate Gift...together:)

Greg has taken to sleeping in the extra bedroom the night before he preaches since I have started to snore while pregnant and he isn't sleeping as well:( It actually has given the kids a chance to have sleepovers with mama and papa. I miss my honey though:)

I got a call from our insurance company yesterday checking on me after being hospitalized. She was a nurse and asked me tons of questions. She also clearly stated that given all of my risk factors with various issues with this pregnancy...5
previous perfect pregnancies until losing Samuel full term, the Meds I am on... She basically said that she doesn't see any reason why they wouldn't cover a hospitalization at this point. I know it sounds crazy that is what I would prefer, but I want to make 100 percent sure G and I are doing everything we can for Levi. So I may seek a 2 nd opinion early next week if possible.

I wanted to post this awesome video of my godson jack. It is funny because the above video clip has gotten tons of hits on god tube. I have had a couple of people send me the clip ( recognizing the name of our awesome church, Salem, from our time there) asking if by chance
We knew them??

Ah... Yeah... He is my godson.

It was kind of funny!

Well I wanted to share it with you all... I was personally amazed! I pray it blesses and encourages you today!!

Don't forget to pause the playlist on the side so that you can hear it:).

Now I am obsessed...

Today was an interesting office visit with the high risk doctor ... To say the least. First off we stayed the night at our friend house right down themstreet from the hospital... And again tonight as I have another
appointmemt tomorrow. We are so thankful that they let us stay:). They have been incredibly gracious!! And the kids have had a ball. We would have had our hands full on the roads for sure from our house as there was some ice under the snow and they don't do anything for the roads here. All the schools in the area are closed again tomorrow. I think we got maybe 2 inches of snow...

The high risk doctor said more of the exact same thing that my doctor said. "It all is fine...shouldn't be something that progresses quickly without being caught by the monitoring and tests. I know she truly is trying to help put my mind at ease and I appreciate that... But I truly think that unless you have lost a baby... I don't think it can be fully understand... Because I have seen and heard now that what I feel is totally normal when you have lost a baby already. I think that our situation of Faiths baby, the one that we were going to adopt being stillborn too, just makes all these "highly unlikely"'things to happen more likely... We have seen it in the past... So sometimes the impossible seems possible if that makes sense.

She did tell me she thought I was obsessing over it... Hmmm that made me feel a little "nuts" so to speak. I did learn that there is no stage 4 with the aging placenta thing... 3 is the last stage... That left Greg feeling more at peace. Me, not so much. And apparently I have an increased risk of a placental abruption than normal. It is still unlikely, like maybe a 1 percent chance. Please pray against that as that would be really bad, seeing as we are 40 minutes from the hospital.

She did agree for me to be seen 3 times a week for all the testing on Levi. So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we will be checked. That makes me feel better that they have a better chance of catching something since it won't be as long between visits. I REALLY appreciate being able to do that.

Believably or not, I actually feel a sense of peace tonight. Thank you Lord!!! I have needed it.

She also said there is no way they would let memo past 37 weeks, and that I probably won't make it there. So at the latest, we should meet Levi the 15th of March, but most likely earlier. Sounds good to me.

Continually crying out to God for peace!!

Continually thankful for all the ways people have helped lately!!

Continually thankful for the prayers lifted on mine and Levi's behalf!!

Continually placing this little guy in the Lord's hands... Can't wait till he physically is in mine:)