Have you ever felt invisible? Do they?

Have you ever felt invisible?

Can you relate to being in a room full of people and yet feeling all alone?

I have been there... 

Many times in life... I have been there...

I especially remember after Samuel died being in church and feeling totally unnoticed...

Let me rephrase that...

I felt like I was being watched.  I knew I was being watched... I was the lady whose baby had died... I felt the eyes on me... yet even with tears overflowing out of my eyes...Most days there wasn't a response... I felt totally unnoticed... 

I felt almost invisible... 

Then I didn't just feel totally broken hearted... but I felt brokenhearted and worthless...

Sad, but true...

(Praise God for His amazing healing and faithfulness to restore what was once broken and rebuild a shattered life into something beautiful again... He is soooooo good!)

Have you ever felt that way... 

Invisible...

Unnoticed...

Maybe even that you life might be lacking worth???  I would guess that most of us have at one point or another...

What about Tony?  How did he feel as his life reached a near life or death point severely malnourished and abused?

Or precious Jackson... How does he feel being deaf and having CP?

Or this sweet sweet baby Joshua with severe burns from a house fire... Will he feel invisible as he grows and watches how people may stare?  

(I love how every time I looked at him, he just got cuter and cuter... I noticed those burns less and less with each passing moment... Oh how I miss this baby so much... my heart is aching to hold him again and hear his amazing laugh...  He is such a precious gift!)

While in Uganda I was  talking with our leader about how I was feeling embarrassed and convicted that  I knew people at our current church that had special needs children... Some of them similar to the kids we had been working with daily at The Gem Foundation, and I had yet to approach those kids... I had spoken with their parents... but sadly not taken the time to reach out directly to the children... and speak directly with them....

Our leader right away said, "They must feel so invisible..."  

In that moment... My heart broke... 

Lord forgive me for the times I have made any of your precious children, young or old, perfectly healthy or not, in their right mind or not... feel invisible... 

I mention about my feelings after Samuel died, not with any ill intent... but  only because I get it... 

In people's own uncomfortableness with me and my baby dying they found it difficult to reach out to me...

And I have done the same thing... in a different situation... but ultimately, a very similar thing... probably having the same exact result... Because many times things have been outside my comfort zone, I haven't reached out... I haven't made an effort... I've stepped away... and...

The end  result has probably been me hurting those people many times over... ouch!

My heart breaks over that... is embarrassed by it... And thankfully recognizes it and wants to change. it... 

Does Bethany look invisible?

What a beautiful smile and and wonderful JOY that radiates from her... 

Does Jerome look invisible?

What tender love and Care Liz shows him each day... showing him... You are worth it!

What about this precious new little guy?  Does he look invisible?

Day after Day I watched Albert tickle, feed, and push the older boys in cars... all these young boys beaming in delight at the experience of knowing that someone loves them...

What about Shafik?  Living with Autism, does He look invisible to you?

Cradled in the arms of his caregiver... He knows he is home!

What about Tony... severely malnourished and abused... does he appear invisible?

This Tony, with eyes that captured my heart... continually with Rita by his side (and Maciej never far away while we were there:) tenderly being shown... he matters... His life is precious... His life is of unbelievable worth to God and us....

Each and everyday, we may not know fully what those around us are feeling...

Each and everyday... we can make someone feel special, loved, cared for and precious...
We can cast away our judging human eyes...
And see them how God sees them...

Oh the lessons that God impressed upon my heart while in Uganda...

I am excited... I have been in conversation with one of the moms from our church who has a child like some of the kids we cared for in Uganda... first I apologized... Then I asked to hear more about this precious boys story...

I can't wait to get connected with them...

I am so thankful for God's goodness to me...
I am so thankful that He continually teaches me...
And I am so thankful for all the different, unique, amazing precious people He uses in my life to teach me...

Day one...

Disclaimer... Typing on phone... Excuse all typos:):)

Day one... 

Overwhemed on many levels... I knew God was going to work and me... And He wasted no time:) 

We spent lots of time at The Gem Foundation today... A special needs orphanage in Kampala (more on The Gem Foundation another day:) 

Meet Colin... Smiliest kid EVER!!!  

Louis and his new friend Shafiek:)

Here is how God worked today...

In all honestly, my experience with special needs is pretty limited... This morning before we left I was reading in Matthew about how Jesus healed the lame man at the pool... Immediately it dawned on me that I really needed to pray for Gods will to be done in healing these special needs kiddos I was about to meet...

I know with God anything is possible... And His will may be a complete healing here or may be in Heaven. It may be an emotional healing.  It may be a healing of one specific problem... 

I was blown away by these precious kids... Many with cerebral palsey, hydrocephalus, autism, and much more... 

But my heart was particularly drawn to a few children...

A 9 mo old who has been severely burned... So much so, that both of his hands are missing... Oh the long road of healing he has in front of him... And yet he is so sweet and joyful...

I was also drawn to 2 precious boys that were severely malnourished...one being 5 and looking more like a 9 mo old...  Little O, so precious...

And the other sweet little T.  he is 12 years old but wears a size 4...  you read that right... 12 years old, looking more like a 4 year old...

How does this happen?  How does it go on that long?  How does it go THAT FAR?  T is the most recently added Gem to the home... He was also abused... I truly never realized or thought completely through the amount of damage  that is done through malnutrition... Or more like starvation in this case...

I was immediately struck by God to speak the truths of His Word and love to T... 

You are so loved..  God created you for a very special purpose... You are fearfully and wonderfully made... I know that how he has suffered in the past he may not be "feeling" those truths... 

 He has telling eyes... Even though he can't speak, he still uses his face to communicate, even his eyebrows... He even gave me the slightest smile...

He broke me... 

No one deserves even the smallest dose of what he has experienced in life... This treasure who can barely do anything, can barely move from a tight fetal position because that is how he has sat for FAR TOO LONG is a BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS  creation of God with a life purpose as great as yours or mine... Who knows maybe far greater than yours or mine... 

Do you believe that?  I am not sure what I believed fully before today... Before I saw it RIGHT in front of me with my own eyes... The toll of abuse, neglect, starvation on a precious little child...

He wasn't an accident... He deserves  to be loved, cared for, and treasured...

I feel blessed beyond measure and so privileged to be able to be a small part of that care and love these next two weeks...

Little T... I won't ever forget you... Part of your life  purpose was to change me... To teach me more about the infinite unconditional love of our Heavenly father... 

You are loved...

You are treasured...

You are handsome...

I am praying for your continued healing... Physically, emotionally... May God's perfect will now be done in your life...

You are now home T...I know you will be well cared for and deeply loved at the Gem Foubdation... No more to fear sweet boy...

no more to fear...

Thankful for today... and everyday...

At the moment my heart is sort of torn between two worlds...

I just saw a World Vision commercial for the work the are doing in putting in wells for clean water, all over the world...  I think my heart skipped a beat as I let the reality of the fact that in less than 3 days I will be boarding a plane for mission work in Uganda... I am sooooooo excited....

At the same time...

I am so terrified for the flight...I am sure the missing Air Asia flight isn't helping matters.   I know I need to spend some time in the word over the next couple days focusing on how many times God says, to FEAR NOT!!!  As well as focusing on His sovereignty and power in our lives... I would appreciate prayers for peace and comfort in my heart and for no turbulence too:)

And at the same time...

I am soooooo sad to leave my babies!  This year is so much harder than the past two years for whatever reason... Seriously, I was in tears a couple times today as I sat and snuggled them...  I am soaking in every little detail of the 5 littles... 

Levi's squeaky little excited voice...

Hopie's unending zest for life and all things wild:)

Isaiah's deep belly laugh...

Jojo's sweet tenderhearted kindness to me...

Anna's willingness to be my right hand lady with the babies... (she is SOOOO GOOD with them!!)

Levi's love for listening to stories in my lap...

Hopie's need for extra snuggles...

Isaiah's soft warm curly head on my chest...

Jojo's need to rub the sore muscles he has gotten from too much green machine riding.... (He is getting in every last opportunity to ride that thing before the snow falls:)

Anna's love and desire to read devotions with me at night... 

I kind of can't even think of not seeing them for 2 weeks... I know the Lord will use all the kids we serve who don't even have a parent to call their own, to fill my arms and heart to the brim while we are in Uganda... 

There will be many to love that is for sure!

Oh the expressions between the 3 of them....
Melts me...



I love this little sweetheart more than I dreamed possible!

Those eyes and that expression...

We have all the shopping done for both Uganda and the kids and Greg back at home...
The donation bags are packed and ready to go...
We just have to pack out own bags and pray ourselves up for the journey ahead...

We would appreciate your prayers as well...
For God to fully prepare us for all that He has in store for us...
For willing  and able hearts and bodies to serve in whatever capacity we are called to serve...
For good health and no illness while there in Uganda...
For the Lord to open doors for us to share His great love for people and His redeeming power with those we meet...
For the Lord to grow and refine us and continually draw us closer to himself...
For His love the love of the Father, to flow right through us to those fatherless kids we serve...

Thanks friends for holding us up in prayer....

So hard... so real...

I just had to repost this...

From the mother of our missionary friend Emma, who recently opened a special needs orphanage in Uganda...

I rarely think of the details of the many  extremely tough things that she faces in her calling... everyday...

Please take the time to read this to get a clear picture of ALL that it means to follow the Lord's calling on your life... the beautiful and the really hard stuff...

and then...

Please support them however you can... through prayer, encouragement or even financially...

Hug your little ones tight tonight:)

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-stuff-no-one-talks-about.html

This kid... and another young one...(at least young compared to me:)

So today his birthday wish finally came true....
He was able to use his money to bless some very special kids in Uganda...
Jojo has been bugging me for the last few weeks if we could finally purchase something for a special friend in Uganda.  He was so excited!

He was sort of hoping to get a washing machine, but when he heard the real need was for cribs... he jumped at the chance...
So today when our friend finally went public with the launching of her new ministryhttp://www.thegemfoundation.com/  to special needs orphans in Uganda Jojo said, "Let's do it now!"

And he did...  You should have seen his smile! Almost every penny he has to his name... but he couldn't have been happier!
I do not share this at all to speak boastfully... but truly to share how God can move in anyone's heart... old ... young... sick... healthy... anyone...
And He will take a willing heart and do so much more than we ever thought possible in our own minds...
And that is exactly what He is doing in the life of Jojo and of our young friend Emma in Uganda.
Here she is 20 years old starting a ministry to some special treasures in Uganda... at 20 years of age!!!

I continue to learn from Jojo... and Emma:)

Never squelch a generous heart... let the holy spirit work in the hearts of your kids... (Greg and I almost wanted to encourage him to give less and purchase a smaller gift... He insisted, and I know God will be glorified in it!)

Never underestimate what God can do through anyone... yourself included!  He will take the most ordinary people and do extraordinary things through them for His glory!

Please go look at Emma's new ministry, The Gem Foundation and consider supporting this amazing missionary and her new ministry... She is the real deal!  http://www.thegemfoundation.com/  I know you will be blessed by seeing this amazing young servant!

Here is Emma at our Christmas party this past January,  for some very special orphans:)