Family pictures...

As usual, on a holiday, I wanted to get some family photos and everyone was a good sport about it...
This was much warmer than the Christmas photo in the snow on the roof of the church!!!:) 

It is pretty rare that we are all dressed up at the same time, so we had to go for it:)

My favorite shot of my favorite people... 

How did I get so blessed to have these precious kids and land this special man?

Annnnnddd..... that is our Hopie girl... she cracks us up... What an expression:)

I am so thankful for a beautiful Easter 2015... 

Another trunk or treat in the books...

And here you have it... Larry, an angel, a disco jazzer (on roller blades:), a cowman (cowboy:) and tinkerbell... Jojo was cracking me up:)

The kids had a blast at the trunk or treat at church... They of course loved the candy, fun hayrides, and all the bible characters running around campus... even Jesus was there... 

A lot of hard work went into planning it and it was great... but man, I tell you, I was worn out afterwards... I am so thankful for all the willing hands that go into making a super fun day for my kids and many others:) 

Merry Christmas from the chilly state of Illinois:)

 A church photo after the Christmas Eve family services... The 2 older boys participated in a human video during those 2 services... With a hubby as a pastor, it was a bit of back and forth to church services all day and evening... But we are sooooo thankful to live on campus and that the commute for him is so short!:)

Our old tradition... IHOP with our small group after Christmas Eve service... such special memories for us... We miss our sweet friends much...

New tradition, since the kids would not let the IHOP tradition die... 

Breakfast at IHOP Christmas Eve morning... 

With gift card in hand (YAY!!!) we braved the freezing temps of around 5 degrees and headed out... oh my TOO MUCH FOOD!:)  Such a treat!

Between the later services we had the head pastor's family, our next door neighbors, over to eat.  The mashed potatoes were a total flop, but no one cared... It was just nice to spend time together... We are so incredibly blessed to be here at St. Peter.  God did an amazing thing for our family in moving us here. And we are so blessed to serve with such special, humble, loving people.  God is so good!  We are blessed beyond measure this year to celebrate Christmas with new beginnings... :)

Anna and Hopie with our Birthday cake for Jesus! 

 The treats we have gotten this year from members were over the top... Christmas Eve we were hand delivered 2 HUGE platters of cookies.  This kind lady is one amazing baker... and the extended family was blessed by it yesterday as well!  (I think our new year round tradition will be to pick a favorite of our Christmas cookie recipes and make one a month... there were just too many treats for us to make more on top of what we received... that way we can enjoy them year round... can you tell I like to eat:)

Christmas in a Pastor's family is different... We got to spend way more time with Greg since we live on campus here which is such a gift... Even with the craziness of a pastor's schedule being so booked at Christmas, we find ways to make it special.  We never do it up real big on presents and try to keep the focus on where it should be... 

The MOST PRECIOUS GIFT OF ALL... JESUS... born for you and me...

Praying that you and yours were able to take the time to slow down and cherish the gift of that precious baby born for us all!  

What a gift He is to us... EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR!

Much Christmas Love from our family to yours!

WITH GRATEFUL HEARTS!

Even though our Thanksgiving week vacation started off a little on the crazy side...

Having to fix an alternator literally as we were ready to head out the door...

(Even in that God provided amazingly... we are so blessed to have such a generous, kind, head pastor who worked LATE into the night to help us get the car fixed and on the road... so very nice of him even though he had just finished preaching and would be doing so early the next morning as well... He joyfully helped us out!  What a blessing :)

 

 

All of my out of town siblings were able to make it home to my parents for Thanksgiving.  Only one grandchild is missing in the above picture.   Yes, it makes for a GREAT time for all of us... a bit noisy at times but so special to spend time together!  My parents handled the commotion really well...

 

 

We sang to Isaiah for his birthday and you should have seen the look on his face as he had 37  voices were all directed at him... total confusion... He loved his first piece of cake... Such a precious gift from God!  I think he is the best gift we have received since last Thanksgiving for sure!:)

 

 

All piled in the car ready to hit the road to come home... Louis at the wheel!  Hello scare me to death!!!   He did a great job... Here we were wishing we could just shut the doors and bring my nieces Ella and Gracie home with us too... They are always so sweet to carve out lots of cousin time with the kids while we are in town. 

 

You can just see above Levi's head,  the antlers of Greg's buck that we had strapped into the back seat...  Hope was not happy to ride next to that.  Greg is claiming it is going above the bed...

Sorry my love, that isn't going to happen:):) 

 

So grateful for northern basements (or the boys room, if they want) for that new furry fella to make his new home:)   At least that is what I will be pushing for:) 

 

And let the craziness begin... off to St. Louis to help my sister unpack from a move, company coming the next week... Big fundraiser for our Uganda trip... Then Christmas and a week later off to Africa...

 

IT will be a whirlwind for sure but we are so excited to be able to do it all! I know God is faithful and will smooth all the edges as we head into busy days:)  

CHRISTMAS PART 2

 

Our first born son... handsome, loving kind... and even a little quirky at times... but that is why we love him!  He was all set for Christmas Eve service... There are many times he is called to be the man of the house for his mama when Greg can be so busy at work or even on holidays when church work demands G to be gone a lot... I rely on Louis and Caleb for so much and they rise to the occasion for the most part with joy!  I am so thankful for them!

 

This is so Jojo... Here he is trying out one of his Christmas gifts... Love this little turkey so much! 

 

Caleb and Levi trying out their new Christmas Jammies...

I love the traditions that the kids and I have started these past few years on Christmas Eve... Greg was able to join us again this year for IHOP after first service... Then he went back for late service and the kids and I came home for fondue, opening up their jammies and a movie... Daddy was pulling in just before the movie ended:)

 

We were expecting snow Christmas Day... possibly up to 8 inches (that never happened)  Our big van is AWFUL in snow and I just couldn't stand the thought of slipping off the road with a newborn, and 2 other little ones... So I stayed home with most of the kids and Greg went with Anna and Louis who sang "The First Noel" together in church that morning... I hated missing that... but felt it best not to try and brave the bad weather... (that never developed into anything:(... no white Christmas for us)

 

We had a beautiful laid back afternoon with waffles for brunch and opening presents afterwards... This year the big boys opted for money towards Africa... so they didn't have much to open... But with the 5 little kids stuff, also from both grandparents, the house was a disaster.  I think this was the first year that the mess didn't bother me one bit and that felt good... We had such a nice afternoon enjoying each other...  

 

Louis was fooling around with the Bokeh (I think that is how you spell it) on his camera... I love this picture from Christmas eve because he caught the baptismal font that was given in memory of Samuel... It is a very simple design with a really cool carved out rock on top.... Our holiday was so special and full great memories and special moments... but I can't help but wonder what kind of mess a four year old Samuel might be getting into and the laughs he would bring to the group... I also woke up Christmas morning, thinking about what Christmas must be like in Heaven... celebrating the birthday of Jesus... right there with Jesus himself...

I miss that sweet little boy:)

 

Praying you all had beautiful celebrations in your home:)

CHRISTMAS PART 1

 

This is the ornaments that Louis and Caleb received for Christmas... There is a tiny little heart right over the country of Uganda... It is so beautiful... Not sure why I didn't get one for myself and Greg to share... maybe next year:):) 

 

This year Hopie got a dollhouse (used but new to us)  She loved it!  And the funny thing is... it has been a big hit for all the kids Anna on down... especially Levi... he will sit and play with the little people and cars... I love when you get a present and it actually is a blessing to the family... When it makes lots of the little ones happy!  Love it!

 

Here is Levi... all tuckered out... He actually went was hanging out with Anna and fell right asleep on the floor:)  Such a sweet little doll!  Funny thing is Levi still has a couple of presents to open up... Christmas day he was more than enamored with the toys he got from Grandmas and Grandpas that we sort of thought why force him to open any more... Maybe in a few days he will get to the rest:)  But for now he is so happy playing with all the other things:)

 

Jojo and Anna opening up presents in their matching Christmas Jammies! 

 

Sweet little Isaiah enjoying all the Christmas commotion... he is starting to open those little eyes more... He is out of preemie outfits and diapers... sad face (happy he is growing:):)  sad it is happening so fast!!!)   You are looking at one of the best Christmas presents ever!!~

SORRY TO DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH.... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR

WE HAD A VERY QUICK DAY AND A HALF WITH GREG'S PARENTS WHO DROVE UP THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. IT WAS A REALLY NICE VISIT, BUT WAY TOO FAST FOR ALL OF US. IT WAS LIKE THEY WERE HERE AND THEN GONE... WE WOULD HAVE LIKED A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH THEM.

THIS IS HOPE'S TYPICAL SMILE NOW... SHE IS REALLY HAMMING THINGS UP THESE DAYS. AND JOJO WAS THRILLED WITH HIS NEW TEDDY BEAR, CARAMEL, THAT HE GOT FROM GRANDMA AND GRANDPA HINTZ WHILE THEY WERE HERE.

THE HAYTER FAMILY, OUR UP STAIRS NEIGHBORS FROM THE SEMINARY, CAME DOWN FOR A FEW DAYS. WHAT A SPECIAL TREAT THAT WAS FOR US. THE KIDS HAD A BALL TOGETHER. IT TOOK ABOUT 2 HOURS AFTER THEY WOKE UP THE FIRST DAY TO HEAD INTO THE WOODS TO FIND THE INDIAN GRAVEYARD AND START BUILDING SOME FORTS... THE PARENTS ALL LAUGHED... FORT BUILDING WAS ALWAYS GOING ON AROUND THE SEMINARY CAMPUS. THEY WERE BACK TO THEIR OLD PLAYING WAYS. THE KIDS ALSO KILLED TONS OF TIME PLAYING BOARD AND CARD GAMES.

GREG AND I ENJOYED HAVING TIME TO CHAT AND VISIT ABOUT ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE WITH OUR FRIENDS. SO VERY MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THE DAYS THAT MARYANN WOULD COME DOWN AND HAVE TEA/COFFEE WITH ME IN BUILDING 4A... I REMEMBER SOMETIMES RETREATING TO OUR BEDROOM TO CHAT AT THAT TIME JUST BECAUSE THE APARTMENTS WERE SMALL AND OUTSIDE THERE WERE ALWAYS SOOOOOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. THOSE WERE SUCH GREAT TIMES... I STILL MISS IT AND ALL OF OUR SWEET FRIENDS FROM THOSE DAYS.

WE HAD SUCH A NICE, RELAXING TIME THIS PAST WEEK. OF COURSE WE MISSED ALL THE FUN OF MY BIG FAMILY UP NORTH AT THE CABIN ENJOYING THE SNOW, FROZEN LAKE, ICE SKATING, GAME PLAYING... BUT I THINK GOD KNEW JUST WHAT MY BODY AND BLOOD PRESSURE NEEDED THIS YEAR....LOTS OF LAYING AROUND:)

MY IN LAWS WERE REALLY SWEET TO GET ME AN AT HOME BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR AND THAT REALLY HELPS, IT GIVES ME PEACE OF MIND JUST TO BE ABLE TO KEEP A GOOD CLOSE CHECK ON THINGS. IT IS CLEARLY OBVIOUS WHEN I AM DOING TOO MUCH.

OUR TREE IS ALIVE AND WELL... WE PICKED THE PERFECT ONE THIS YEAR... SO IT WILL STAY UP FOR ANOTHER WEEK:) I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE TO SIT AT NIGHT WITH A CHAIR PULLED UP BY THE FIRE, THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS ON, AND HAVING A CHANCE TO READ A BOOK. RIGHT NOW I AM READING 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN... IT IS A SUPER EASY READ AND REALLY PRETTY ASTOUNDING AT TIMES... YEAH, I AM PRETTY SURE I WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED TO COME BACK IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE HEAVEN.... LIKE COMPLETELY SURE:)

WELL, I BETTER GET THE KIDDOS SOME LUNCH... I THINK I WILL TRY TO POST ABOUT THAT FAVORITE CHRISTMAS PRESENT THIS YEAR IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS... LOUIS AND I EDITED SOME PICS TO POST WITH IT:)

LOOK WHO IS SAYING HI:)

HERE IS OUR SWEET LITTLE GUY GIVING A WAVE TO YOU ALL:)

I just got off the phone with my sweet (blog in real life:) friend Tonya at www.tonyatalk.blogspot.com What a sweet conversation we had. I absolutely treasure and am so very thankful for the friends I have made through the loss of Samuel. These are friends that truly understand the road I have walked and continue to walk as we expect this precious little miracle next March. It was just nice to receive encouragement and understanding from someone who has lived it too. (She just had Matthew back in July, and had lost Grady not quite 2 weeks after we lost Samuel) I think back to my brief, but oh so special visit with her and Ebe last January on our way home from Florida... She was so brave to take on my crew and I for a night, when we had never met in person... I will always treasure the memories of that special night we had getting to meet in person.

So much is going on here with Christmas and church activities, yet at the same time I am thrilled that we are not making any more travel plans. As much as I LOVE spending some of the Christmas time with family in far away states... I am a bit worn out this go around and I treasure the fact that of not planning another vacation, leaves us with so much more time just to focus on Christmas, Jesus' birth and being together. The older boys did remind me before bed that tomorrow morning is St. Nick's and that Jojo was expecting some surprises in his stocking in the morning.

I am the world's most boring stocking stuffer... Nuts, an orange, apple and pomegranate, and a few chocolates... I must confess I ate Hope's pomegranate tonight, is that bad or what??? ... I am kind of hoping she won't notice... it would have been far too messy and I think she can share off the older kids... I just had such a craving:)

As far as new little baby boy goes... he does have a name... we both love. And I am thrilled with it. I love calling him by name. I am not sure if I will share it on the blog till he arrives but who knows:) We had an ultrasound last Thursday and all looks great. He was measuring just a couple days larger than expected. I don't know why, but in my head I am just thinking... grow baby boy grow!!! I am at about 23 weeks and feeling more consistent movement... He is usually pretty quiet in the morning and that can be a bit unnerving (as that was just what happened with Samuel when I first noticed no movement) but usually within a couple of hours he starts to get busy in there and I love that:)

Please know that I often think of those still trying to conceive and my heart just aches for them. I know how easily this Frozen embryo transfer could have turned out differently for us. I do not take a day for granted while this little one is safe , healthy and alive inside of me. I know that God is sovereign and I trust Him and His plans, but I know too how hard it is for one to sit by and watch person after person, many of which aren't even trying to conceive, announce their pregnancies so carefree like, and be blessed with healthy babies, as your heart is longing for the same.

Life is hard... I get that. A few things I am thinking about with this little one.

My heart is rejoicing that we have made it this far. I think about our embryo donor mom so often. I am so incredibly thankful for her gift to us. I know that I can't fully comprehend all that she must feel in regards to this little guy. But I also wonder if she can fully comprehend what this little boy means to us all ... how much we love him already... how often the kids and G and I thank God for him in our prayers... Sometimes I feel like my heart could explode that God has blessed us with this miracle gift. I am just so grateful.

While there is such excitement in our home, there is still fear. I know that fear is not from the Lord. It has been a while since I have had a moment of heart gripping fear. God has been faithful to calm my heart. At the same time there is the constant struggle of balancing the hope with reality. Louis asked me a couple of weeks ago if we were going to get down all of the baby stuff, and the bassinet. He didn't want to have to put it all away if for some reason this baby didn't come home to live with us. (Since we had hoped to adopt, and didn't know if we would get a drop off newborn, I never put the baby clothes up in the attic. It is all clean and in little containers in Anna and Hope's closet. So all that needs to be done, is to put the baby girl clothes away and wash up the boy stuff)

I struggled with knowing how to answer Louis. Part of me knows we have bags already packed for the hospital, that we had just in case we got a call from the adoption agency. (Is that bad that I never officially unpacked those?) And that after the baby arrives Greg can easily get all the other stuff down at a moments notice. Then, there is the other part of me that wants to do it up big... paint the extra bedroom, get it all set as a nursery. I have such mixed up feelings at times. I am a very practical person and know that Hope is still in the crib so practically speaking she may still be in it when this guy arrives... so that may all have to wait... See can you tell how back and forth I am:)

Well, I will leave you with a verse, I don't think I have posted before... I have clung to this verse for the last couple of years... hoping that some day it would apply to me...

ISAIAH 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

There have been so many times of feeling surrounded by the wilderness and wasteland in the last 2 years. Praise God he is doing new things in our hearts and lives... He is growing this new baby... totally separate from Samuel... totally separate from Joel... totally separate from our adoption journey with Hope. But yet they are all a part of what He has walked with us through these past 2 years. They are all a part of the story He is weaving throughout our family. Tonight I am so thankful for these streams of water in the wasteland... God is good! He always is... regardless of what is going on around us.

CHRISTMAS WEEK!

THE KIDS WITH THE FAUST FAMILY FROM CHURCH... THE NEIGHBOR YOUNGSTER AS WELL... YEAH, FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK AND THE ABILITY FOR PLAY DATES:)... DO YOU STILL CALL THEM PLAY DATES WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE 12 YEARS OLD? THE KIDS HAD A BLAST PLAYING... AND I LOVED GETTING A CHANCE TO VISIT WITH MY FRIEND SHELLEY:)


YES, THIS IS A REMOTE CONTROL CAR... AND YES, YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS WHAT IS ON TOP OF IT... "THE BUNNYMOBILE" IS WHAT CALEB CALLED IT. THE KIDS TAPED A BOX ON TOP, PUT ONE OF THE SWEET BABY BUNNIES IN IT, AND COVERED THE TOP WITH TAPE SO THE BUNNY COULD "FALL OUT" OR "ESCAPE". SO THE BUNNIES GOT RIDES DOWN THE STREET... I LOVED THE CREATIVITY, BUT WORRIED A LITTLE FOR THE BUNNIES SAKE...
EVERYONE SURVIVED... INCLUDING THE BUNNIES:)


JOEY CRUISING THROUGH THE TUNNEL UNDER OUR DRIVEWAY... I JUST LOVE THAT LITTLE GUYS CHEEKS.

WHAT A BUSY WEEKEND... IT WAS SO NICE TO HAVE MY PARENTS HERE, IT WAS TOO SHORT OF A VISIT. WE HAVE HAD THE 3 GIRLS FOR THE LAST 3 DAYS... WOW, THEY ARE FULL OF ENERGY, BUT REALLY SWEET AND PRECIOUS. ANNA IS ENJOYING HAVING SOME OTHER GIRLS IN THE HOUSE. WE ALL SAT IN THE FRONT ROW OF CHURCH... AND SURVIVED. REALLY, THE KIDS DID VERY WELL. JOJO DID FALL ASLEEP IN MY SWEET FRIEND NIKKI'S LAP...MY HANDS WERE A LITTLE FULL:)

I CAN'T BELIEVE CHRISTMAS IS JUST A FEW DAYS AWAY... HERE IS THE GOOD NEWS, WE DON'T GO OVER BOARD ON CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, JUST A FEW FOR EACH CHILD. HERE IS THE NOT SO GOOD NEWS, IT IS JUST 4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND I HAVEN'T CONSCIOUSLY SHOPPED FOR ANYONE... YIKES! (I DID GET FOR EXTENDED FAMILY, JUST NOT OUR LITTLE FAMILY YET.) I LOOKED OVER WHAT I HAVE IN MY STOCK PILE:), BUT I AM GOING TO HAVE TO GET OUT AND GET A COUPLE OF THINGS. I AM KIND OF, MORE LIKE TOTALLY, DREADING THE CROWDS. IT IS A LITTLE LATE FOR ONLINE SHOPPING. MAYBE I WILL JUST HIT THE WALMART IN TOWN. WE SHALL SEE...

MY EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THE MAP... I MISS SAMUEL SO MUCH! EVEN WITH ALL WE HAVE GOING ON, AND ALL THE DISTRACTIONS, HE IS NEVER FAR FROM MY MIND. I HAVE LOTS I WANT TO SHARE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT (NO I AM NOT PREGNANT) , AND I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL GOD IS DOING IN OUR LIVES, BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT IS HARD TO JOURNEY FORWARD KNOWING THIS MISSING SAMUEL WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME. I LONG FOR THAT DAY WHEN WE WILL BE REUNITED... THAT DAY WHEN ALL THINGS WILL BE MADE RIGHT! AHHH, WHAT A DAY THAT WILL BE:)

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT SWEET LITTLE BROWN HAIRED, FULL FACED SAMUEL WHO WAS BORN JUST OVER A YEAR AGO AND CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!

I AM ALSO SO THANKFUL FOR THE BABY THAT WAS BORN SO MANY YEARS AGO WHO CHANGED THIS WORLD AND MY HEART FOREVER. WHAT WOULD I DO WITH OUT THAT HOPE THAT WE HAVE FOR THE ETERNITY WE WILL SPEND WITH HIM? I AM SO GLAD THAT WE SERVE A GOD WHO TOO WALKED THIS EARTH... CAME AS A LITTLE BABE, BUT GREW TO BE A MAN, WHO KNEW DEEP SORROW, PAIN AND SACRIFICE. I KNOW OUR SADNESS DOESN'T GO UNNOTICED BY HIM. THAT BRINGS ME COMFORT THIS CHRISTMAS AS WE CELEBRATE HIS BIRTH. PRAYING YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!