A Sweet Birthday Surprise for Levi Ryan!

I have a precious friend from FMSC who happens to be one of the luckiest (blessed) people I know...

She wins more contests than any other I know... And we were so blessed to be on the receiving end of one of her sweet WINS:)

Meet my friend Alyssa... We work every Monday together and not long ago when it was her birthday, I had 120 of our closest FMSC volunteer friends sing to her... I introduced her as one of the most generous people I know... I meant it...If there is a task, she willingly takes it on, and generously gives from her heart.  Whether it is cupcakes for my parties, games for my littles, or sweet birthday surprises...  She is always giving...

She knows how much Levi loves the CUBS so she entered a drawing at her local library for 4 tickets to a cubs game... She said people were buying up tons of tickets...

She bought her 1 ticket, said a prayer for Levi... and BAM!!! She was the winner:)

And then she told me she wanted to give the tickets to Levi for his birthday... I DIED!!! 

Here we are together with the amazing basket she created for Levi to give to him on his birthday... Did I mention she is incredibly talented and creative... Seriously, she is so artistically gifted... something I am not... so I love it!

One of the reasons Levi Ryan's  love for the cubs is so special to us, is that his biological dad Ryan was a CUBS lover.  He had Cystic Fibrosis and was even chosen to throw out the first pitch at a CUBS game when he was little... I couldn't wait to take Levi to a game... 

A big Happy Birthday to Levi as he was unwrapping all of the goodies in his basket, CUBS W car flags, chocolate, fan finger, T-shirt, and more:)  He was thrilled!

Last Sunday, game day FINALLY arrived.  Levi was able to pick who he was going to take with to the game. Unfortunately Greg had an injury the day before so Jojo got to take his spot, and Anna had never been to a game so she came too:) 

We battled the Chicago traffic to the free bus shuttle and made our way to Historic Wrigley Field!  What an atmosphere!  It is such a special place!

And what a game it was!  13-5 Cubbie win for the books! It was such a fun game to watch!  

Levi enjoying some cotton candy while Anna and Jojo were enjoying the game:) I seriously, loved watching them all have so much fun!  It was the perfect distraction and pick me up after a tearful goodbye to Caleb as he headed to OK for 6 weeks... 

One of the most precious parts of the day was seeing Levi as we found Ryan's brick outside Wrigley Field!  Ryan's mom had told me a rough area of where it was, and it was surprisingly easy to find!  I look forward to the day when Levi will understand more of who his bio dad was and how his life came into being. 

 I remember before we adopted Levi as an embryo, I was talking with a dear friend... She loves us deeply and walked closely with me through everything we had been through with the stillbirth of Samuel, the stillbirth of baby Joel (the baby we were going to adopt) 8 mos. later, and my miscarriage.  She sweetly said, "If you do get pregnant, no one would have to know this baby was adopted???"  

I immediately replied, "I couldn't do it. If a baby was conceived, how could I keep that miracle to myself?"  It would be a part of that child's story, and something that deserved to be told  

I still feel that way, and Sunday was another full circle moment for me...

It is like God smacks me over the head in these moments... "Do not miss the miracle of this moment Sara!!" 

This brick at Levi's feet with Ryan's birth and death date, was lovingly placed there by a family missing their son, brother, father, and husband...  Ryan...

And there Levi sits, with that same brick at his feet... This living breathing Levi Ryan... 

 His WHOLE life made possible by this sweet man, our donor mom, AND AN AMAZING GOD WHO IS SO FAITHFUL through it all! 

It seriously blows me away...

What a miracle and what a special day it was!

So friends, don't miss the miracle of the moments that God gives you as well...

 I pray all of our eyes are wide open so we can take in and appreciate all the sweet blessings God has for us to take hold of each day! 

He is his son... He is my son...

Last week would have been this little boys 35th birthday...

That little boy is actually this little boys (below) biological father... Isn't the resemblance amazing?

The stories I have heard of Levi's biological daddy are wonderful and so very special to us... ( I am so very thankful to have a relationship with his bio mom and grandma and other extended family!)

Thinking about Levi's Ryan's biological dad Ryan evokes a crazy amount of different emotions...

Awe over the type of personality he had and how he lived, given that he had the terrible disease Cystic Fibrosis...

Wonder as I hear story of his selflessness... (He turned down his first wish with the "Make a Wish" Foundation because his whole basketball team couldn't come with him to practice with the Chicago Bulls... He didn't want anyone to feel bad, so he ended up with his second wish, being a park ranger for a day...)

Joy as I heard of how he and his wife felt welcoming his twins into the world, Levi's full biological siblings...

A sweetness in my soul when I watch Levi and know that some of his character traits come from him...

And at the same time a feeling of overwhelming longing... longing to TRULY know him... see him... get an even clearer picture of who this man was, who makes up half of who my son is...

And a sadness when I try to resolve in my mind all it took in getting our son to us...

If this sweet man had not passed away, Levi would have been his and his wife's son... That would have been the plan all along had his life not ended at the young age of 27... Knowing and Living with grief and loss, my heart literally ached last week on Ryan's birthday... I know how much he is missed... I know how much it still hurts even years later... I know the longing for heaven...

I can't help but go there... and think of the hurt and pain his young wife went through when she was widowed so young with 2 small children.. and to think of the hurt and pain that his parents and siblings went through when they had to say goodbye... Not a moment of that is lost on me... 

  

This sweet little boy would never have been ours if Ryan had lived a full life... It is hard to resolve it all in my mind... Ryan had to die for Levi to become ours... And literally my heart hurts at the thought... 

Yet... EVERY SINGLE TIME I look at this beautiful boy I know with out a doubt that...

God created him for us... 

God breathed life into what was frozen for 5 years, for us...

God allowed that sweet tiny embryo to take hold and make a warm home inside of me for 9 mos, for us... 

God sustained his precious life while I was on bed rest in the hospital for 7 weeks, for us...

God brought forth this boy that healed so much hurt that was inside of me and our family, for us...

God knew exactly what we needed and he gave us Levi Ryan... 

God took the very best of his biological parents and wove them together to make the most amazing, sweet, joyful, funny, little man, FOR US... 

I don't think I will ever be able to fully understand why Ryan had to die... why Samuel our son had to die... I don't think it is really God's plan for me to understand this side of Heaven... But what I do know...

Is that God has taken the hurt of 2 families and brought forth the life of the most amazing little boy who will turn 5 in less than a week...

God creatively has knit our families together in the most beautiful way and my heart is FOREVER thankful for the gift of being this sweet little boy's mama... 

I will never forget a conversation I had with a dear friend weeks before we did the frozen embryo transfer with Levi... She had walked through a lot with us and loved us.  She was SO concerned for me and the fact that the odds weren't in our favor for the embryo to take... We had already suffered the loss of 3 babies during pregnancy... 

I remember just looking at her with total peace in my heart and saying, "I know there is no guarantee, but I have a peace about it... and for us, IT IS TOTALLY WORTH THE RISK!" 

Levi is worth every second of worry, fear, uncertainty, joy, thankfulness, elation, and overwhelming awe in the gracious plans of our amazing faithful God! 

(Ryan at the cubs game where he threw out the first pitch:)

( I have to laugh because we aren't a big baseball family, but Levi is a cubs lover... His biological dad loved the cubs!)

And this all just makes our family bigger... I can't wait to meet this amazing man in Heaven one day... I often can't help but think of the fact that he is a daddy up in heaven with his kids down here... and we have a little boy and 2 other babies in heaven with their parents down here... Maybe they have all met:) 

Levi is his son... He is my son... He is our son... Really He is God's son... And with it all my heart falls deeper in love with a Savior who makes this all possible... 

Astounding to me really!  This story will never get old... 

As we prepare for holy week and the death and resurrection of our Savior I am continually reminded that we believe in a God who really has made this all possible...

He  redeems what was lost and hurting, breathes life back into what was once frozen, and resurrects what was dead... 

What a gift for all of us!

Morning company:)

The other morning I awoke to this smiling face next to me:)

 I rolled over and said, "I love you buddy!"

And His response... "And I am a MIRACLE!!!"  

Yes you are my sweet Levi, yes you are!  He is an amazing miracle from God that was allowed to join our family through embryo adoption... He and I were talking about it today in the car and I can't wait till he can really understand his own amazing miraculous story! 

And then this little rascal came to join us in bed... and that was the end of the peaceful resting!  He is all boy and never sits still... But he makes for many laughs!  I love love love every moment with both of them!  I am so thankful that we get to do preschool together this year... What a treat for this mama! Hopefully they would say the same thing:)

Have a blessed Monday friends... from Zay and Levi!!:)

The love for him just grows bigger...

I don't think I could be any more thankful for this sweet lady below... Levi's biological mom.  Not a day goes by that I am not overwhelmed with thankfulness for this precious little miracle God gave us and the sacrifice that was made on her part for us to have Levi in our lives! 

 A couple of weeks ago we met her family and Levi's biological grandma and cousin in the city to spend the day at the zoo... It was also the same day as the air show... Wow... what a show we got to see!  It was an absolutely beautiful day!

I think this is one of my favorite pictures... a little blurry... But two moms who love this boy so deeply!

Levi with his biological brother and sister.  Anna is actually a pen pal with Levi's bio sister.  They all have such a sweet time together... So much love for this little guy... Can you ever have too much love for your child?

Levi and Jojo at Lincoln Park Zoo in front of part of the city skyline!

Crack me up!  Levi with Hopie and his biological cousin!  She is a hoot!~

All of the girls!

The whole crew!  It was such a special day for us!

We even got to see the Blue Angels!  That was seriously like nothing I have ever seen... It was crazy amazing, so loud and so thrilling!

We are in awe of the handiwork of God to work a miracle in our lives through embryo adoption... but also when we see the beautiful creations he works everyday!

Nutella beard

He melts me!
Every single day he melts me...

Whether it is the Nutella beard, or how he remarks, "I didn't see THAT one comin!"  This kid is hilarious, sweet, and such a love bug!

Levi Ryan, One of a kind, for sure:)

Easter week... Holy Week...

I know this is a bit overdue... but at the pace we are running these days... I am thankful to get a chance to document anything... time is just zipping by...  We have jumped back into school after a 16 hour soccer tournament weekend... Super fun... but a bit exhausting:) 

We were so blessed with a beautiful Holy Week leading up to Easter... 

This was the altar on Good Friday at the Family service we had... It was pretty amazing and I am so thankful to be at church that is willing to think outside the box a little to make services even more meaningful to the members... 

Christ's death on the cross means everything to us... and obviously we don't need anything other than that to make Good Friday special... 

But I know the kids will remember laying down their chains at the foot of the cross and the sacrifice Christ gave to carry all our sins and burdens to the cross...

Hopie and Levi outside of church...


We were so blessed to be able to see some of Levi's biological family on Saturday... (I still am blown away and so thankful that God moved us closer to all of them by moving us to Illinois... what an added bonus:)

Yay!!!!  We FINALLY have made resurrection rolls... Thanks to our special company...

Every single year I say we will make them and then between all of the extra services with all the kids, it hasn't happened till this year... Super easy and super delicious....

We won't miss making them from  now on:)

Anna is totally smitten with this little one... It was pretty precious to watch!

Easter at Grandma and Grandpa's after the egg hunt with a bunch of cousins... It was a bit chilly but so much fun!

There was a lot of cousins running back and forth between the houses, the goats and trampoline...

Because Easter Sunday Greg is a bit busy, the kids and I had a wonderful Easter Breakfast up at church, went to the service... (loved hearing the beautiful Easter hymns:)  and then we hit the road for Grandma's... So it took till Monday for them to get a chance to find their own baskets:)  

Isaiah... not to thrilled with his peep horn... We couldn't help ourselves!:)

I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me....

The other day... it hit me... something had caused me to in a moment of frustration with other's frustration... not to fully see my very busy, noisy littles as the miracles and blessings that they TRULY are... and my heart was literally broken by it...

I have lived in dark days of grief and sorrow and not knowing if the Lord would bless us with another child... I have lived literally with an ache in my arms longing for them to be filled...

and FILLED THEY HAVE BEEN, only by the grace and goodness of the Lord and I do not, even for the shortest fleeting moment EVER want to not fully take in the HUGE miracle and gift that they are in my life...

EVERY SINGLE MOMENT A MIRACLE... and I mean that wholeheartedly... MIRACLES right FROM THE HAND OF GOD INTO MY LIFE....

In those moments, I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that He will equip me for the task of raising these amazing miracles... 

He has given us these gifts with all the hootspa, strong will, determination, and wonderful caring personality traits that they possess, and He can more than provide us with the stamina, creativity, and determination to pour into their lives to the very fullest! :)

In those moments I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that our God is a mountain moving God who has the power unite strangers to breath life back into frozen embryos... embryos that had been frozen for 5 years to work a living breathing healing joyfilled miracle in our family...

In those moments I want the Lord to continually remind me of the odds that some of our kids have beaten in the womb, in their early months of life that show me the miraculous power of God to heal and spare our children of some possible very difficult life circumstances... 

Their healthy lives are truly a Gift from God...

In those moments I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that these days while the messes might be BIG and the noise level  GREAT... these years truly are so very short and I  don't want to take one moment for granted...

In those moments, I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind of the amazing sacrifice their birth parents took part in to grow them for months and months, and then hand them over and make them mine... (Still TOTALLY unbelievable to me!)

In those moments I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that I as a mom am the thermostat of the home creating the temperature at which we operate everyday... There is power in the words I choose and the actions that I take... 

I want to train these little babes to grow into all that God has planned for them to grow into as little warriors for Him...

In those moments I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that being a mom is a HUGE privilege and honor with even greater joys and rewards...  Hugs from mustached 5 year old girls, slobbery kisses from dark skinned one year olds, and hilarious laughs given by the constant excitement and joy for life by amazing 3 year olds...  

Who could not be filled with joy over the opportunity to experience that ALL DAY LONG:) 

In those moments I want the Holy Spirit to continually remind me that...

Truly, I live for an audience of ONE... I want to do my best to be respectful and honoring of others but I don't ever want to let their frustration ever rub off on me and even for a moment to change how I see my kids... I live to please HIM first and foremost... 

That I am forgiven for the mistakes I make each and every day....

That His mercies are new every single morning... and I can be filled with His grace to overflowing that His grace might flow right to each of these amazing gifts God has given me...

That I can take EVERY thought captive and make a quick change in attitude when needed:)...

That I can trust Him with their future... 

Never would I have dreamed that we would have the opportunity to adopt 3 kids in 2 1/2 years or that it could even be near possible... 

I didn't know my future... But the future God had planned was exceedingly and abundantly more than I could have thought or imagined...

What a day... Mother's day... beautifully hard...

Today I rejoice that I was blessed with such a dear sweet mama to raise me and my siblings...  I am sure we put her through the ringer at times, but she has always been very gracious, loving, helpful, prayerful, faithful, kind, hard working, compassionate... I could go on and on...
(couldn't help but post a sweet picture of my mom and siblings... oh the funniness that abounds in that photo)

My heart also rejoices that we too have been blessed with a wonderful mother who raised my wonderful husband... I know that much blood sweat and tears went into raising him to be the man that he is today... That does not go unnoticed by me... He is a wonderful loving husband and father and I know that we owe much of that to my mother in law...:)

My heart rejoices in these 7 precious kiddos who call me mommy everyday... They are the amazing miracles on this earth that I get to pour into, that keep me humble, that consume my time and energy and that love me inspite of myself each and every day... What a HUGE gift they are to me...

(I couldn't help but post a picture of me and sweet baby Lou... the little man that first made me a mommy... 16 years has changed me a bit... wouldn't change any stretch mark or wrinkle... they were all worth it!)

To be perfectly honest,  I have struggled all day with putting into words how I feel today...   There is an aching in my heart as well as a deep rejoicing...  While it is a beautiful day to honor our moms and rejoice for many reasons... Mother's Day can be a sort of in your face kind of day to hurting women... 

My heart aches for the women that long to be a mom and for whatever reason struggle with fertility issues... (I have been there... wondering if it would ever happen for me as year after year I waited)... It is extremely difficult to desire something so much, watch it happen for so many others, and just be let down month after month... My heart hurts knowing how many women are in that place today...

My heart hurts  for the women whose mom's are no longer living and they just wish they had one more day with them... one more day to pamper them... one more day to sit and visit with them... one more day to glean wisdom, caring and compassion from them.... there is no one else like your mama...

My heart hurts for the moms that maybe no one recognizes as moms because they don't have any living children...Oh... such a difficult place to be... knowing that you have children... they just aren't this side of heaven with you...

My heart aches for all the moms that miss their children because they carried them for almost 10 long months, went through all the nausea, felt every kick, hic cup, and movement... and then UNSELFISHLY chose adoption for their children... (where would I be today with out these precious women in my life??? the biological mamas to some of my babies...)

My heart hurts for all of the moms who have a piece of their heart in Heaven with their children... It doesn't matter if that life lived inside of you for just a few short weeks or lived with you in your home for many years... The ache of the empty womb or the empty chair at the dinner table can be a void like no other... And truly it doesn't matter if that child died 10 years ago or 50... that ache remains in some way... (just last week after an announcement in church about the start of our MEND Chicagoland chapter, an older woman came up to me to offer help... she said that she doesn't talk about her loss often (a child lost at about 25 weeks)  but that she still cries about it... 51 years later... That missing remains... and truly that comforts my heart... My babies lives mattered... and they will still matter when I am old and gray... 

Mother's Day can just be a beautifully hard day...

I am so thankful for the gift of all of my children that made me a mom... 

My heart bursts with gratefulness for my sweeties here on earth  with me (the ones I have given birth to... the ones other moms have given birth to and we have adopted, and the one we adopted and I was blessed to give birth too... Still amazes me how miraculously the Lord has brought me all of my children:) 

And my heart longs for my precious children in heaven... My beautiful dark headed chunky 9 lb. 2 oz. Samuel... Baby Joel we had hoped to adopt but was stillborn at 28 weeks... and sweet baby Taylor (lost to an early miscarriage... the kids picked his/her name... I love that they wanted to name that baby...)

My heart rejoices for the work Christ has done to make a reunion in Heaven possible, one that I look forward to every single day.

Mother's Day... and all of the feelings it brings with it for me... My journey to being a mom to all of my kids has not always been easy... in fact it has been down right amazing.... wonderful... beautiful... exactly as I wanted it to be... despairing... debilitating... full of wondering... daily surrendering... full of turmoil and longing... heart breaking... exactly as I NEVER would have wanted it to be...

If I could change it, would I???  Oh that is a hard question... Selfishly, yes... but ultimately NO WAY!  

Do I wish and long for Samuel to be a 5 year old snuggled in his bed upstairs??? For sure... but ultimately, earth would be so sad for him in comparison to the glory of Heaven... I wouldn't ever want to take that away from him... 

The Lord has blessed me abundantly by the big picture of His plan for our family!  Blessings I never could have imagined or dreamt up... 

Blessings that I certainly would have missed out on if children had come to me exactly as I had wished... He knows best... I am so thankful he carries us through those HARD HARD TIMES TO THE BEAUTY that can be on the other side when we rest in and surrender to His plan for us... 

So as my heart aches for all of the women in the situations listed above... I pray for them... Praying for the Lord to comfort them and sustain them... If any of you have any hurts or friends that are hurting, I would love to pray over those needs... feel free to comment or email me at hintzmom27@yahoo.com with any requests... It would be an honor to pray for you... 

Much love to you this Mother's Day 2014

Oh the sweetness of this boy....

Oh the sweetness of this little man melts my heart every single day....

Today he said he wanted to marry his mom mom... My heart was warmed:)  (honestly, that was right after he totally stood next to me, didn't utter a word and peed in his underwear:):)  Little stinker:) 

Levi... our little miracle...

Just last week as he was heading down for a nap in our room, (since every other room had a cousin or sibling already down napping) I found him in our bed with this picture of the kids with Samuel right after he was born... 

He kissed the picture... he hugged the picture...  he wanted to sleep with the picture... I said ok:)

Even Levi knows that little Samuel was and still is a treasure to us...

 He loves his brother even though he has never met him face to face... (That awesome day will come in Heaven... Oh to see Samuel meet the little miracle who is a part of us... I know that through the loss of Samuel, God used all of that to prepare us, change us, and encourage our hearts to step out into the unknown and to pursue embryo adoption... I don't think our life would have EVER included that with out our Samuel:)  Samuel helped bring us to Levi... that is a miracle... To me, Levi's whole story is miracle upon miracle...:)

And so he did... Levi, sweet as a button slept with the picture of 5 of his older siblings:) 

What sweet precious quiet moments that we stumble upon in this normally very busy, noisy, commotion filled home...God is so good to give us that extra dose of sweet love here and there sprinkled through out our days:)   

When does 3 = 8???

When does 3 = 8???

Sounds crazy, I know... Yesterday we celebrated the living, breathing, miraculous life of this little guy Levi Ryan... and that is exactly when...

3 = 8!!!

Yesterday Levi turned 3... but in all honesty he is really a whole lot closer to 8 years old...  This precious little man was frozen as an embryo for 5 years...

I know that maybe most of you have heard his story before...but maybe some of you haven't.  To us, this story deserves telling again and again... All Glory to God!  My mind can still hardly fathom it all... God breathed life into Levi nearly 8 years ago for a sweet young couple longing for a child... And then while other embryos were transferred he, along with many more of his tiny little siblings, were frozen.  After a 2nd embryo transfer resulted in twins for this couple, using the rest of the embryos was put on hold...  Waiting for their perfect time... the time God ordained for them to have life... even if only for some of them, for a few more days.

Then sadly this young mom was widowed with 2 year old twins... (I know that this young dad's passing, Ryan, whom Levi Ryan is named for... was the pivotal point in eventually Levi becoming ours... but I still am so sad that Levi won't ever know his biological dad here on earth... I am sad that we won't know Him this side of Heaven...  We will all have to wait to meet him in Heaven...  I can not wait for all of the reunions that will take place on that day:)

And one comment on a blog about a year and a half later led us down the crazy but absolutely wonderful journey to this little guy!  After many months many many emails full of questions, answers and getting to know one another on both our part and Levi's biological mom, the amazing decision was made that we would adopt Levi and his other siblings... there were 7 embryos total...

Within a couple of months all 7 had a chance for life... in fact, all 7 survived the thaw but a few days later 4 were no longer growing... I still think it is neat that God knew the number of those little tiny ones days... They still had life in them... while not longterm here with us... He knew the exact number of days ordained for them...

And Levi, the lone survivor of all 7... the 3 they transferred were only given a 30% chance for one, and the others both a 25% chance of surviving... and here he is... 3 years old... full of life... full of silliness... full of the best hugs and kisses... What a miraculous gift...

Honestly at times I can hardly still believe it happened... that it worked and that He is ours... What an incredible gift from God!

(Can you believe how absolutely precious and funny he is???)

Our little Levi has got some swag:):)  Every single year as his birthday draws near, I am overcome with emotions...

Overcome, remembering the fear I had while I was pregnant with him...

Overcome, thinking about the 49 days I was in the hospital before he was safely born into our arms...
(I don't think anything has ever felt so good as His safe, wiggly, soft, sweet smelling, perfect little body alive in our arms!!  Thank you Jesus!)

Overcome by recalling the boredom of 10 weeks of bedrest... and the amazing giving of our sweet friends to help keep our family afloat during that time...

Overcome by the visits from sweet friends and a pastor friend who would literally walk to the hospital at least once a week to make sure I was being cared for spiritually during this stressful time...

Overcome by the miraculous power of our God to breath life back into something that was frozen for 5 years...

Overcome by how much we are FULL of love for him!

Overcome by how perfectly God made HIM, LEVI RYAN, for us...

Overcome by the sheer fact that He lived... We adopted him and 6 of his siblings... but yet, he grew inside of me... a TOTAL MIRACLE!

Overcome that there could have been more of his same sweetness... I often think of the other 6 siblings that could have been here with him (at one point or another... the doctors never would have transferred more than 3)... But I am always gently reminded that the Lord knew the exact number of their days as well!

Overcome that God saw fit to open our hearts and lives to adoption... Oh we would be missing out on so much sweetness in our life!

I could go on and on with how absolutely amazed I am that this little sweet bundle of love is ours...

He's got eyelashes that just don't quit and sometimes a strong will to match:):)  We are so thankful for the gift that he is to us every single day... Happy 3rd Birthday precious boy!

extra grateful

Every single day when I think back to those days of hoping and longing for a baby...
Wondering if God's plan would include any little ones of our own...
Wondering if after Greg's cancer  we would be able to conceive...
Then discovering that  I was the one with the problem...

Today as I cuddle this sweet little miracle God gave us just over a year ago... I am in awe...
Today as I wrestled my 3 little ones under four in the church pew...
Today as I listened to 2 of mine singing in the Christmas concert at church...
Today as I watched 2 other shoveling the snow with their daddy...
Today as I attempted to comfort a grieving woman at church who just unexpectedly lost her nephew and my mind immediately went to my little Samuel in Heaven...

My heart was overwhelmed...
Wow... has the Lord given me the desires of my heart...

I longed for a baby... and the Lord has given me the desires of my heart... really, a heart full, a life full of children.  I am so grateful...

 NEVER would I have imagine that the Lord would weave our family together using my husband and I... using embryo adoption... using domestic adoption... Using His amazing power to do it His way...

He is so good and faithful... sees the big picture...
His ways... though so different from mine on many occasions... are ALWAYS BEST...