This is one of my favorite pictures of Jojo and Greg from our time at the seminary... Our sweet lil' toe head!
Our steady Eddy, hard working, good natured, sometimes wild, kayak loving, harmony singing, hilarious, smart Elijah Thomas!
We can not believe that this young man is 12! The days can be long... but the years fly by! He is an absolute Joy to raise! He is my helper, my go to... I know that he will willingly help with almost anything... and do it with a joyful heart! He is the calm before the storm of the 4 littles...
I always say that between 12 and 14 are the game changing years... and I know we are on the cusp of that with Jojo... 2 years down the road he is going to look totally different...
But for now we treasure every single moment of life with Jojo as a part of it! THANKFUL, THANKFUL, THANKFUL is what I feel! We prayed for a child and God answered with Jojo! I am so thankful that God saw fit to give us this precious child and I pray that he continues to draw him closer to himself every day! May he be a mighty warrior for our Jesus!
Hopie enjoying the water park rides... Man that girl is a dare devil... no fear...
The Zader Tator and Levi played in the kiddie part for hours on end:)
Enjoying the great space we called home for a couple of days:)
We were so blessed to get a deal too good to pass up, given to us by my little brother. So up we went to the Wisconsin Dells for a couple of nights... Seriously, we had a beautiful 3 bedroom condo with a full kitchen and water park passes for far less than a regular hotel... It was such a wonderful gift to us and the kids!
We ate crock pot meals, played for hours in the water park, and even had a super relaxing afternoon nap/movie time all packed on the couch... I literally woke up and felt such peace in my heart... totally surrounded by the precious family the Lord has blessed me with... total joy:) And then it was off again for some more wild times in the water park:)
It was the perfect get away for this busy church family... I think we have a total of 13 services at church this week for Holy Week... I should say super busy for the dad of the house... not nearly as busy for the rest of us...
I miss my Oklahoma fireplace... I moved the chair right by the fireplace and cranked it up every free moment I had... what a treat:)
On the way home we hit some random exit for gas and saw a Cherry Berry (our favorite Oklahoma yogurt shop) I told Louis to pull in there... I was going to check if they had peanut butter yogurt... If they did we would stop...
Well they didn't... but they did have a tax day special... fill your bowl as full with yogurt and toppings for $1... CRAZY DEAL! So we stopped and enjoyed yogurt for an early dinner:) What a treat for us since we don't have a Cherry Berry close to us:) We happened to stumble in literally 15 minutes before the special was supposed to start... ye,t they had just started it and we TOTALLY beat the crowds... Check out the lines outside of the shop... I consider that a sweet little blessing from God!
So now we focus on Holy Week... such a precious time...
I love all of the constant reminders this week, of the Father's great love for us to send us Jesus. What a gift Jesus gave us in eternal life through His work on the cross... What a sacrifice...
I am so excited to see the Jesus Painter tonight at church... Praying you all have time this week to consider all that Jesus has done for you...
If you don't know Him as your Savior I would love to talk to you about how much He loves you... just leave a comment and we will connect...
Hopie with some of her Godparents... such a treat to have the Dinkelman crew here for the night:)
I know... But this TOTALLY suits her... Hope has been getting lots of laughter and having loads of fun with her new dress up goodies:)
I couldn't resist... So precious!
Getting in loads of loving on the little 5 before we leave in a tomorow...
My heart is torn in two... I will miss them all soooo much... But I can't wait for my arms to be full of little ones who really need to see the love of a mommy firsthand...
So sweet!
We have one of our team members here for the night and off we go early in the morning tomorrow...
Here are a few prayer requests...
1. Safety on the flights over and back.
2. For peace for my heart... I do not enjoy flying one bit, and am a nervous flyer... at this point my plan is to catch up on my Beth Moore Bible Study and to review my verses that I have memorized over the years... hoping that if I keep my mind focused on His word I won't be able to be full of nerves:)
3. Safety and protection for my family back at home.
4. That all of our bags make it there... we each have a bag full of donations... from toothbrushes to toys... (Thank you to St. Peter Lutheran School, the ladies Bible Study, and our dentist's office. What a gift and blessing it will be to pass along those gifts:)
5. Strength and stamina for Greg and all the wonderful friends and family that have volunteered to help watch the 5 littles while we go and serve. (The people here have been amazing in offering to help and we are soooo grateful!)
6. That the Lord would use us to do great things for His glory while we are there in Uganda.
7. That He would equip us for every opportunity we will face... to show His love, care and concern for the children there. That they will come to know His love first hand.
8. That the Lord would use us to be His hands and feet to the orphans of Uganda and the street boys.
9. That the Lord would bring MANY youth to the youth conference we will be hosting. And that they would be hungry for a love that never fails them. (this is a first for a GO TEAM... they usually do Pastor's conferences:)
8. That we would be willing servants ready to serve each other, our Lord and the precious children in Uganda.
While I was in the hospital with Isaiah the family bought and decorated our Christmas tree!
They chose white lights because they knew that is what I like... that was sure sweet of them:)
Actually I think that they picked the best tree yet this year... perfectly shaped and very little rearranging of ornaments had to be done by me when I got back:)
Levi loves looking and touching the ornaments, but he has yet to actually knock one off the tree... he has done so well with it... Even Isaiah likes to just lay and stare at the lights...
We are all adjusting great around here to the new little sweetie in the house...
HONESTLY, I can barely believe he is really here and ours!
You go for so long just waiting and wondering and then BAM!!! Here he is...
I think Hope and Levi are finally nearing the end of their colds:) yay! Praise God! We can relax a little with them getting too close to Isaiah!
Levi today kissed Isaiah on the head over and over again... And Hope has learned the job of little mama from Anna quite well... You should hear the way she talks... really sweet!
I am sort of holding my breath knowing full well that with little ones making that adjustment, you just never know when they will be looking sweetly at the new baby one minute and pinching the next... but so far so good...
I hear we may be expecting a BIG snowstorm here next week... over 9 inches... Craziness... I would love a white Christmas:):) We shall see!
If I am to be honest... I am a better mom to littles than bigs...
Maybe not better, but it certainly comes more naturally to me...
Tonight we held a family meeting and discussed all the things we want to do in the coming year... some very basic like ...
Have a family game night (Jo's idea)
When we are all home and the weather is nice to play a family sport outside. (Caleb's idea)
Lift weights (Lou and Greg's idea)
Go to bed earlier (My idea:)
Be kinder to each other (Anna's idea)
But then we tried to get more creative...
Have one new family over for dinner every month...
Random acts of kindness each month...
Be better about writing cards or letters to loved ones...
Eat out of the pantry and freezer this whole month ... (only buy fresh fruits/veggies and dairy:)
Wow, the new year has me wanting to start afresh in many ways. My personal list will hopefully help to focus me and keep me more accountable to the things I want to change or improve on.
Honestly, when I look at our 3+ years here... A lot of it is a total blur... After losing Samuel so much of our first year I was just trying to manage my grief and accomplish the basic tasks of schooling and caring for our kids. I look back and my oldest had just turned 11. Fourteen is a whole new ball game. We laugh and call him our man child... He is part child; still free spirited, sensitive, fun loving and funny! But then there are so many ways that he is completely a young man. And I have to admit there are many times I am scratching my head as to how to best handle new parenting situations.
I love being a parent... Besides my Savior and my Greg... my children are my highest priority and I love being a mom. But I would be lying if I said that there were not times that I was frustrated with my kids or my parenting.
This post totally spoke to my heart today. In 2012 I want to serve God better. I want to do a better job as a wife and mother... Will I fail? For- sure! We all will since no one is without fault. But this post was the perfect starting point for me in this new year.
I have never really struggled with raising my voice and yelling... but this year I want to actually speak gently. I want my kids to listen to what I say, and not be tempted to tune me out just because of my tone. I don't want to lecture my kids out of anger... Shoot I don't like being lectured to:)
Courtney writes in this blog post... "When we as moms go on a long rant about something the child has done wrong – we may feel better because we got our feelings out – but our child has not been brought any closer to wisdom and understanding."
I don't want to just get my feelings out... I want my words to point my children to their Savior. I want my words to draw them closer to my heart and the heart of God.
Please read the rest of the blog post... I think you will find it totally worthwhile...:) Here's to the fresh start of 2012:)
Louis took these pictures a few weeks back... I thought they were sooooo pretty...
I am so thankful that summer is here...
We have some History to finish up... we may be at it most of the summer if we just take a little each day...
Anna and Lou have one full day left to complete... but last week we were pretty caught up in the beginning of summer and didn't get to any of school work... tomorrow is the day ...
BUSY WEEKEND!! Friday we had the relay for life, a cancer fundraiser. I am going to do a whole post on it soon, I hope:)
Yesterday I had our first class for the GROWING LITTLE WOMEN class I am teaching at church... It is for moms and their daughters ages 6-10. We had about 20 there and oh my goodness, Anna was over the top thrilled. She was super jazzed up about it. Just seeing her excitement makes me realize all the more that I NEED to carve out that individual time for all of them.
Today we had a pot luck for anyone interested in the mission trips to Grenada next summer. Hmmmm, it sure would be nice to do a family mission trip... I am not at all sure if it will work out, but it was super exciting just to think about it. Then we all headed out to the field to watch the guys play a double header of softball. I haven't seen Greg play in a couple of years, and let me say... he is still really good, at least in my opinion:) Thank God the bleachers were shaded. It was around 98 degrees today...
We have had those crazy pantry moths in our pantry... It was driving me crazy. My mom did a super cleaning back in March when she was here, and we hadn't seen any in about a month, when all of a sudden a couple weeks ago, they got really bad... Greg and Caleb completely emptied the whole pantry and we are HOPING that this is the end of them.
Literally, I walked in the door tonight at 6 pm and crawled right into bed. That is TOTALLY uncharacteristic of me. I slept for the next couple of hours, fed the baby, and just laid there...For some reason, I felt totally overwhelmed... it was almost like I finally took a break, and the weight of the last 2 1/2 years caught up with me. I feel like after losing Samuel and the wildness of having Faith live here and having her baby that we planned on adopting die...we just kept trudging forward trusting and hoping in the Lord, (really it was more like hanging on by a thread a lot of days, and hanging on to every last shred of hope we could find:)... and now that we actually have Hope's crazy adoption in the past and have Levi here safely... it is like my heart can finally just rest.
I don't think I have ever in life experienced the intensity of emotions that I have in the past 2 1/2 years. I am ready for some coasting (emotional wise) and just enjoying this life God has given us... I think that my bad sleep habits don't help either. I am determined to get myself to bed earlier....that is one huge goal for summer. It has already gotten somewhat better.
The weird thing is that there are a lot of things going on for my husband that make me wonder if a resting period is even in place for us... I could easily see big changes in the future that would involve not a whole lot of "rest" for anyone in this house... We have been praying BIG TIME about A LOT of things. I know God can and will work it all out according to His plans, that gives my heart peace, but man I just pray He guides Greg and makes the way SUPER clear...
With that said, I am going to hit the hay... I am super tired, but super thankful... thankful for the lives of each member of my family... thankful for the rest my soul can find in HIM<><
THIS IS THE EVER GROWING PILE OF LAUNDRY THAT HAS MADE IT'S HOME ON MY DINING ROOM TABLE...(SORRY MOM:)
I NEVER GOT TO FOLDING LAST WEEKS LAUNDRY AND ADDED TO IT IS THIS WEEKS...
I AM HOPING THE KIDS AND I CAN GET TO IT TOMORROW SO WE CAN START EATING IN THE DINING ROOM AGAIN...:)
I ACTUALLY LOVE THE CHORE OF FOLDING LAUNDRY... DON'T REALLY LIKE THE JOB OF PUTTING IT ALL AWAY...
DOES ANYONE ELSE STRUGGLE WITH JUST FINDING THE TIME TO GET TO IT? I HAVE A REALLY BIG WASHER SO I REALLY ONLY DO ABOUT 5 LOADS A WEEK NOT INCLUDING CLOTH DIAPERS...
I HAVE ALWAYS JUST DONE ALL MY LAUNDRY ON ONE DAY OF THE WEEK... MAYBE I NEED TO GO TO A LOAD A DAY TO AVOID THE ABOVE PROBLEM...
Have to take a quick break from all the cooking to do a little dancing:)
Oh no... the neighborhood dogs are starting to smell the food:)
Hope is getting all tuckered out and ready for a nap.
Caleb is the taco soup man:)
I am absolutely thrilled to have 24 meals in the freezer. We cooked for quite a while on Saturday and everyone helped, except for Hope. For some reason I think just having the meals made lowed my blood pressure. No, I am kidding, but really it lightens the burden I feel in my head. Now even my kids can get out a meal with out any help and everyone will fed:)
We also found out we will be getting a little bit of company over Christmas break. Greg's parents will come up for a few days and some dear friends from our time at the sem are coming. Yay, what a perfect distraction and fun time that will be to have them all here.
Besides those couple of things... life is just moving on here. Most schools are off this week, but not us:) I want to make sure we have time to take in Spring when the baby arrives, Lord willing. I rather have an extra week then, rather than take 2 now, when we don't really need it. I am 25 1/2 weeks now... I can hardly believe it... Really it is going by pretty fast... I actually bought a little sleeper for the little guy the other day. I went back and forth on if I should get it... the kids were all for it, and helped me pick it out. Really, sometimes I am STILL completely in awe that the Frozen Embryo Transfer worked... that I am allowed this precious gift and opportunity to have another child.
So the only cooking to get done is a couple kinds of cookies and the kids are begging for Grandma Deena's rolls, pigs in a blanket, and cinnamon rolls. Thankfully it is all the same dough, you just divide it out. I would love to have some of those frozen for when company is here. We will see if it happens. I get sort of lazy, and love to have the majority of the cooking done, so we can just hang out and visit.
A few weeks back, late one night, after the kids were in bed, my honey and were dancing in the dark to this amazing song... DANCING IN THE MINEFIELDS by Andrew Peterson. (I have to add here that one of my first heart thumping... I really like this guys moments, was when Greg asked me to dance at a costume dance my sophomore year of college:)
I have to say Andrew Peterson is one of my all time favorite artists...very folksy... such a great story teller...and absolutely hilarious in concert.
As I sit through my husband leading he Love an Respect Bible class at church on Wednesday nights... really I fall more in love with the guy! Now I will never be one to sugar coat our relationship and pretend that our life is perfect... it is far from the Perfect that I think that the Lord would desire...(and it really can get under my skin when someone candy coats things and makes it seem like everything in life is peaches... maybe that is how their lives are.... but ours certainly isn't.... and honestly I have seen some of those "perfect lives"completely come crashing to the ground)
I pray that this song ministers to your heart and helps you appreciate the loved ones you have in your life.
The following are just some of the reasons I love my husband so much and some of the minefields we have danced through in the for better and for worse of the last 17+ years...
2 1/2 months after we started dating Greg was diagnosed with cancer... His faith was SO SO strong... I remember his parents telling me that when he went into surgery, he wrote on a paper notebook, "I CAN NOT LOSE!" He was too choked up to say it, but he knew if he didn't make it through surgery he would wake up with the Lord, and if he did make it, well then he would have more days to live out here on earth... He has an unshakable faith, even in life's harshest times... still does
He is so humble and a true peacemaker... when he very unfairly lost a job... I was ready to raise some serious heck... I wanted him to write a letter to the board of directors. I wanted the truth to be told. Not Greg, he didn't want to keep a record of wrongs, he knew the Lord would take care of that in the long run.
He lovingly walked with me through some times struggling with infertility and always encouraged me to hang on... He knew I had dreamt of being a mommy ever since I was a little girl...
He has helped lead our family through 5 different and some very difficult moves.
He has been so supportive, way more so than I ever could have imagined or thought when our son Samuel died. Truly, he never questions the tears that still come. He validates my longings and missing of my boy. As much as my mommy heart grieves so differently than his daddy heart does... he never judges and just wants to let me get it off my chest or to get me whatever I might need at the time to help me. He has gone above the call of duty OVER AND OVER AGAIN on this one, and know he will continue to.
He has walked through miscarriage, and the loss of a perspective adopted child, Joel.
Shoot, he puts up with me... I know there are times that I am not the easiest to live with... I am just being real! I would love to say that life with me is a bowl of cherries, but I know that wouldn't be completely true:)
He was a rock during a very up in the air, ever changing adoption of our sweet Hope Jubilee.
He was willing and on board with adopting our sweet 7 embryos... one of which is safely growing in my womb... Praise God!
I remember when were engaged talking about having 4 kids... who would have thought we would have 6 and another on the way, and Greg has been so along for this ride the Lord has brought us on.
There have been times of incredible joy, fun, laughs and amazement... and many times of incredible sadness and trials. But through it all there isn't anyone else I would want to be dancing through these minefields with... no one but him.
As we see marriages all around us falling apart, and I am not lying... I can think of 5 just off the top of my head...It is so obvious that the devil is roaring around looking for someone, looking for marriages to devour.
I am so very thankful that Greg is in it for the long haul... So thankful that he knows it will be a lot of work to navigate the minefields from the past and the ones in our future and he is willing to do that work. He knows we need the Lord's guidance every step of the way...we can't do it on our own... we really aren't capable of not messing things up on our own... We are 2 imperfect people joined as one:) We are a marriage of 3... Him... God... and me:)
I look so forward to weathering the storms with him... they are sure to continue to come as we walk through this life. I can't wait to grow old and wrinkly with him if that is the Lord's will for us... I pray that it is...
Now I am off to take my honey out on a date (Thank the Lord for kids who are old enough to finally babysit...yay Louis! ) and then I think later after the kids are in bed... we will crank up the music, not too loud of course:) and do some dancing:)
Enjoy the song... don't forget to hit the pause button on my play list on the side!
I love when the weather starts to cool and we can get geared up for warm beverages in the morning during our home school break time...
Usually, we will either make honey lemon tea, an old favorite of my grandma Rose's, or herbal tea.
But the kids favorites are homemade hot cocoa or friendship tea.
Anna helped me make the friendship tea mix... This came in handy since today she had to write some instructions for her English assignment... you guessed it... she chose to write about "How to make friendship tea mix."
Caleb and Jojo made the hot cocoa mix:) Jojo looks 1/2 asleep and I never thought to have Caleb put a shirt on before he started... is that gross??:)
So it looks like we will bet set for a while... although I am sure with all 5 of these sweet little tummies, we will be making another batch before winter is over:)
My honey has been gone for the last couple of days... so I have been sharing my bed with the kiddos the last 2 nights... Can't wait to have my hubby back tomorrow:)
Here are the recipes for the Hot Cocoa and the Friendship Tea
Hot Cocoa: 1 box 8 qt. dried milk powder 1 lb. of Nestle Quik chocolate drink mix 2 cups of powdered sugar
We usually put a couple of heaping tsps. in about 8 oz. of hot water.
We are about to get back in the big white beast... and hit the open road...
I tell you I never used to think it was difficult to get ready for a trip...
But that was probably 4 kids ago:) That said, I wouldn't have it any other way:) Well, except having one other precious little almost 2 year old boy in the car with us too:)
We all got another sneak peak at the little one yesterday...
He/she is the size of a peanut... only a peanut and there was the heart just chugging away... LOVE IT!
I can now be pretty much out from under the care of the California clinic... they said to call when I deliver... I have a little bit of a hard time believing that may really happen... a healthy, living, squirming, pink, screaming little baby in our arms next Spring...
We are trusting God each step of the way...
OH... MY.... GOODNESS... my husband was in rare form at our Love and Respect Bible Study last night... I feared I might be under the table in embarrassment by the end of the night... There were over 40 people there which made my heart swell for him... He is working so hard right now, between all he does at church, another masters class at night, and everything around the house... With a class at church you just never know what the turn out will be, but I am so thankful that people are seeing the value of this class. It is really good.
Anyways, I think what sent me OVER THE EDGE was when he was talking about how women and men are different and that we like to get together often and sit and visit over tea and GIBLETS...
What in the world are GIBLETS... AHHHHH CRUMPETS MAYBE??? oh my... he really did have me in stitches. I think the family life area is really his nitch and I am so happy he has finally found it:)
Well, I better run. We don't have a thing packed...
ZINNIAS... I LOVE HOW THEY CAN HAVE 30 PETALS OR 100... THEY ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT AND INCREDIBLY VIBRANTLY COLORFUL:) COSMOS... WISPY AND SO DELICATE... DO YOU SEE THAT TINY LITTLE BEE I CAUGHT COMING FOR A DRINK?
THE FINISHED PRODUCT...
WHEN THE FLOWERS IN SAMUEL'S GARDEN ARE IN BLOOM, MY HEART IS FILLED WITH JOY. I LOVE COLOR AND I LOVE FLOWERS. I LOVE SITTING OUT THERE AND WHEN THE FLOWERS ARE IN BLOOM IT GIVES ME AN ALIVE FEELING...
WE ARE REALLY TRYING TO GET INTO A GROOVE WITH SCHOOL. IT IS ALWAYS SLOW GOING IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR... BUT I DO FIND THIS YEAR I REALLY NEED TO COMMIT MYSELF TO STAYING HOME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE DURING THE DAY TO GET IT ALL IN AND HAVE IT BE ENJOYABLE FOR US ALL.
HOPE DOESN'T ENJOY PLAYING BY HERSELF TOO MUCH (YOU KNOW BY HERSELF, BUT IN THE SAME ROOM:) SO SHE IS LEARNING THAT IS A PART OF HER LIFE TOO:)
WE ARE GETTING READY TO HEAD TO LOUISIANA FOR A SUPER QUICK TRIP FOR GREG TO DO A BAPTISM. LITERALLY WE HEAD DOWN THURSDAY AND HEAD BACK SATURDAY. HIS COUSIN RYANE HAD A BABY AND SHE HAS BEEN SUCH A HUGE SUPPORT TO ME OVER THE PAST YEAR. WE CAN'T WAIT TO CELEBRATE WITH THEM.
WE ARE SO ENJOYING THE COOLER WEATHER... IN THE 80'S TO LOW 90'S. WE CAN ACTUALLY GO OUTSIDE AND NOT FEEL LIKE WE ARE INSTANTLY GOING TO MELT:)
Someone please remind me why I let the kids talk me into being a part of the neighborhood garage sale... oh my...goodness is all I can say right now...
Now to find out if any of my "trash" becomes someone else's treasure...
Hubby will be on a mission trip for a bit... I miss him already and he is still hunkered down in our bed for the night... I will be snugglin up close to him tonight, that is for-sure... truth be told... I snuggle up close EVERY night:) I will miss my snuggle partner... although I know that I have a few other little sweeties that are already taking dibs on who gets to sleep in the big bed with mama for the week:)
It will be strange not having him here for Father's Day... but I know that they will be working at some orphanages... maybe he will be papa to some of them for the day... I love it! At dinner we were all talking about what we want papa to do for us there in Grenada... some of the things said were... swim in the ocean, bring home souvenirs, tell them about Jesus, stay away from sharks... then my sweet honey said, what if I came home with another brother or sister as a souvenir... Now I know that is an impossibility (well, I know nothing is impossible with God:), but just his comment warmed my heart... Over the past few years I have seen his heart soften and break for the orphans of this world... I can not wait to hear the stories that he will have to share...
Ok, off to hit the hay... I know those crazy early morning rummagers will come early:)
I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday.
We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013.
This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father...
Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving. The sea I swim in is a lonely one and the shore seems miles away. Waves of despair numb my soul as I struggle through each day. My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and scream and repeatedly ask 'why?' At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly, so great is my loss. Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life. I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal. Companion me through tears and sit with me in loving silence. Honor where I am in my journey, not where you think I should be. Listen patiently to my story, I may need to tell it over and over again. It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss. Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead. Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable. A small flame still burns within my heart, and shared memories may trigger both laughter and tears. I need your support and understanding. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I must find my own path. Please, will you walk beside me?
Remembering
Remembering Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending he didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that he has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
