HE knows....

The familiar phrase... hind sight is 20/20...

One of the things I love most about our Savior is when you can look back at the beautiful way HIS plan has unfolded in your life or in a certain situation...

Something I love even more is when you get that special feeling... knowing at that moment that you can actually recognize, in the here and now, HIM at work in your life doing something really special...

Meet the Dinks...

Literally the Lord has woven our friendship together from across the ocean and across the nation...

When Samuel died, I struggled so deeply... I was hurting like I never thought possible... I was struggling to process my own grief while caring for our 4 kids and making sure they were doing ok through the whole process of losing a brother...and I was incredibly lonely in my sadness... 

I think I cried through church every Sunday, sitting in the pew alone just me, my kids, my tears, my broken heart... 

And then they walked in one Sunday... sought me out... and low and behold in that moment I knew I had found a friend....

God was moving them from Sweden, of all places right to our town in Oklahoma... we had a ton of mutual connections at the church I had grown up at in Wisconsin, they were close to my college roommate, and I will never forget asking them if they knew so and so from my home church... Their response, "They get custody of our children if anything ever happens to us!"  We had so many connections...

The next time they came to visit before they moved was just 2 days after Joel was stillborn, the baby that we were supposed to adopt.  I remember when  Nik asked how I was, I gave her a very real honest response... Not so good... I shared with her a little about what had happened, how we had gone to see him at the hospital, how we had spent time with his birth mom... 

And that is when I saw it... a tear falling down her cheek... She cared... She wanted to hear... She was sympathetic to our new loss... She could step beyond herself and maybe even her possible uncomfortableness of an almost stranger sharing a recent personal experience of death with her...

But it didn't stop her from caring for a single second.  In that moment,  I knew God had done a beautiful thing moving them all the way from Sweden to our back door...

 This sweet precious family walked with us through a very difficult Samuel's first birthday in heaven, our crazy adoption with Hope, our embryo adoption and scary pregnancy of Levi, and our premature birth and adoption of Isaiah... She was even with me when I got the news that the pregnancy I was experiencing would end in a miscarriage... They supported us compassionately through all of that as well as doing regular fun, exciting life together with the rest of our kiddos and their sweet 3...

And as if once wasn't enough... 

While we have finally settled in here in Illinois after arriving a year ago...

They are now newly settling in less than 30 minutes from where we live...

God has moved them once again right to our back door...

And we couldn't be more grateful to God for moving our precious friends so close:)

 

(I am so thankful for the many precious friends we made during our time in Oklahoma... this is just like the cherry on top that they are now here with us too:)

The Lord's good plans for us amaze me sometimes... As much as we teased them to move up here... I honestly, never really saw it coming... 

What a beautiful, fun, wonderful surprise and addition to our lives here in Illinois...

 

I am amazed at the Lord's goodness to us! 

 

 He sees the full picture...  All the way from Sweden to Tulsa, to Illinois... And all the way from my heart to the Heavens...

 

He always knows... He is so faithful...

Love seeing HIS handiwork...

Talk about beautiful young ladies right???

This past week we had the pleasure of participating in all sorts of fun activities at the school that is a part of our church...

Louis was the photographer for the 8th grade banquet and dance... What a fun night for him, Greg and myself... Lou has had the pleasure of getting to know most of these young ladies on the Moore mission trip, Sweet Jillian and her mom came to Uganda with us, and through youth group... It was a fun and beautiful night:)

Then the following night I had the opportunity to be one of the 3 speakers at the 8th grade graduation... To be TOTALLY honest, I had completely forgotten that I had agreed to do it until Greg reminded me the day before... hello????  Get this girl some ginseng pronto!!!:):)

When the principal had asked me, I immediately asked if I could speak about Samuel... I didn't want it to be a downer so to speak... but that is the story that God has written for us... The principal was totally fine with that and actually wanted me to speak on how the Lord gets us through the hard and good times in life.

It honestly was such a precious opportunity for me... I was totally nervous, it is not my gift to speak in front of groups at all... but I felt so blessed to share Samuel with a whole new group of people who haven't heard of him and how important he is to us... and felt even more blessed to be able to share with those kids and their parents that THE LORD IS FAITHFUL THROUGH IT ALL!

I have always felt a little ill prepared to handle the trial of child loss in this life... I have wished that someone had really prepared me for the deep deep sorry and grief I would feel... That is why MEND has always been so important to me, because it affirmed in me that my feelings were indeed normal when everyone else and everything else seemed to be  screaming the opposite...

So I was grateful to be able to share with them the full reality of the hurt that can come in life, how clinging to the truths of God's word and not our emotions through those trials is so important, and to how to look for His amazing faithfulness and sometimes miracles through it all... Of course all of my kids were a part of THAT miraculous story...

TOMORROW on the agenda... church, soccer, graduation party up north... and then let the real craziness of June begins...

MEND Chicagoland starts Tuesday:)  Two 50th anniversary parties (both sets of parents), 3 families coming to visit, VBS, Greg's trip to Haiti, me traveling all the way to Houston with the kids on my own, and much much more... and that is just June... We are so thrilled to have friends coming to visit...

We are so excited for the things God has planned for our summer...

The abundance of the Lord

So  Anna and Caleb hit the road with me today to head to Royal Oaks Apple Orchard in Harvard Illinois today.  We were there a few weeks back to actually pick apples with some family and friends...

 

But today we headed there for another reason...

 

To glean the apples that had fallen off the trees.

(Gleaning was a practice that they allowed in Old Testament times where the harvesters  would leave some of the harvest on the ground for those less fortunate to gather later)

 

So this neat orchard allows non profit organizations to come and gather for their churches, food pantries etc. 

 

We were AMAZED by the abundant blessing of our Father... and the recipients of our church food bank will blessed today with fresh apples from the orchard. 

 

The only rules... don't pick off the trees... only off the ground... but we knew full well from picking there a few weeks ago, that when you picked one beautiful apple off the tree that a few seemed to always fall to the ground. 

The apples on the ground were next to perfect... :):)

 

It was a super chilly night, (they even let us pull the car right out into the orchard) but the kids and I had a blast knowing it would blessing to many today!

 

Love the generous heart of Royal Oaks Orchard... if you live near there... give them a try next year for apple picking:):)

Blessings

Louis took these fun pictures of the great farm eggs we get from a lady at church...

She is so cool... she is Jojo's Sunday School teacher and she and her husband live on a vineyard about 10 minutes from our house.

It is absolutely gorgeous!

Every couple of weeks she rings the door bell and has an abundance of eggs for us.

I never have to buy eggs and it is such a blessing to us...

That has been one of the great perks and bonuses to being a pastor here...

OUR FILL OF FARM FRESH EGGS!

Have I ever told you Caleb is the egg maker in the house?

He, by far, makes the best scrambled eggs I have ever had...

BLESSINGS OF THIS WEEK

THE BUNNIES ARE GROWING

All in all it has been a hard week, a real battle daily for me. My mornings are especially hard. This has never been the case in my life before. I am the first to admit that I am not a morning person:) But this is different, from the moment I open up my eyes there is a heaviness in my heart. Right away I remember why it is there. I think many mornings I just wish the last 7 months were a bad dream... I wish I could go back and change the way things happened. But each morning when the reality of losing Samuel is fresh, I am immediately crying out for the Lord to carry me through the day. And by God's grace that is what we are doing, being carried through the day... some days safely cradled in his warmth and care and sometimes just hanging on by my fingernails... but none the less he is carrying me.

We had some wonderful blessings this week. Our elder and his wife from our church came over with a dogwood tree to plant right by Samuel's garden. Oh, it was such a precious gift... something for our area where we can sit, pray, and remember our son. The men planted it, and then we all, including our house guest:) held hands and prayed together. It was beautiful... lots of tears dripping onto the ground from these eyes...Thank you, thank you, thank you Krahns for that incredibly kind gesture... you touched our hearts in a deep place with that special tree. I can't wait to see the blooms on it next Spring.

We had the bible study ladies and their kids over for Bible study. I am so thankful for these women. God has heard many cries on the behalf of many people that I might start building some friendships here. They are blessing me greatly, by asking how I am coping and by being ok with all my tears and struggles... I am so thankful for these ladies.

One other crazy thing happened at church last week, there was a new couple that wanted to meet me. She is a close friend of my college roommate. For 6 years they attended the church that I grew up in. They even remembered my parents. It was like talking to someone who already knew me because she is so familiar with my home. They are currently living in Sweden but when they lived in Wisconsin they were close to all of my old church friends that I grew up with. It was so nice talking with them. They are moving here this summer. We were thrilled to hear that.

The retired pastor's wife is leading the new Beth Moore study on Wednesday nights at church. She is such a gem. She is so on fire for the Lord, His joy just pours out of her. It really is amazing. One of the incredible things that Beth talked about was that she had heard people tell her about really dark despairing times where they could not feel God's presence at all. Does this sound familiar?? She said she always prayed that the Lord will never allow that to happen to her... She said that about a year ago, that she had that feeling for about 6 wks. She said it was one of the hardest times in her life. I could so relate to all that she was saying. She knew He was present just felt so far from him and didn't sense Him at work at all. I am really looking forward to the rest of the study, I have a feeling that there will be a lot that applies to me.

I had the nicest talk with my mother-in-law this week. She is very compassionate and just listened to me and shared how she misses Samuel and when she thinks of him. That made me feel so good. She was telling me that at her work there is a little boy born right around the same time as Samuel. She always looks at him and thinks of what Samuel would be like. Yeah!!! I am not the only one wondering and thinking about how my precious son would have looked. She was making sure that he was included in the updating of the Hintz family reunion book. She will never know how much that meant to me... Some people just have a neat way of letting you know that just because he was born not living doesn't mean he isn't just as much a part of your family forever. She showed me that he matters to the whole family.

I totally was not going to mention this but it kind of relates to what my mother-in-law did with the family reunion book. A few months back a friend at the seminary, who is in charge of all of the baby announcements that get put in the women's newsletter on campus, had emailed me asking if I wanted to put Samuel's announcement in. She said she could write it up or I could. I was sooooooo incredibly touched by that. He was born to us... all 9lb. 2 oz of him:) all 21inches of him:) He was born to us, just like all of the other babies on campus, just because he wasn't alive didn't mean he shouldn't be included. (I am sure that may sound weird to some, or freak some people out to put in a baby announcement for a dead baby... but really come on, if we REALLY value life, that is what it is, a life. From the moment he was conceived a life. All 9 months and 1 day that he grew... a short life, but a life none the less... Ok I will get off my soap box:) It was a wonderful chance to introduce our beautiful son to people on campus and to remind people of how much we appreciate their prayers. Ashley that meant more to me than you will ever know. Thank you for being so thoughtful!

Last night we went to a Christian concert down by the riverwalk. It was a beautiful night. Next Tuesday Christy Nockels is giving a concert. I hope we get a chance to go. She sings the song Grace Flows Down. We had my sister-in-law Katy sign to that song at Samuel's memorial service. It was one of my favorite parts of the service... if you can have a favorite part of your son's memorial service. I clearly felt God's grace during that night. Tonight we had an end of the year soccer party with BIG fireworks, jupiter jumps and free dinner. Yes, mom had the night off, it was great. Jojo was hysterical during the fireworks the poor little guy.

Well, that is all for tonight. Blessings on your weekend!

I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted. I remembered you, God and I groaned' I meditated and my spirit grew faint. You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night. My heart meditated and my spirit asked; Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought , To this I will appeal; the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand; I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. You ways, God are holy. What God is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles. Psalm 77:1-14

GIFTS FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD:)

Yesterday we received such a special letter in the mail. It was from a dear friend of mine who is in China doing mission work with her husband and children. (You know who you are:)...by the way could you email me your email address, gshintz@yahoo.com... thanks:) Wow, as I poured over her letter I cried, she too has had such loss in the last few years. But I was so encouraged by her precious words.
She also sent a beautiful wall hanging that has Jeremiah 29:11 written on it in Chinese, in the shape of a cross. It is so special. It is hanging right by our front door so we can be reminded that God does have a plan to prosper us and not harm us, to give us a HOPE and a future. Beautiful words... Beautiful reminder. The kids were so thrilled too, they couldn't believe we received a gift from the other side of the world. Thank you so much dear friends.


We have been so blessed by so many people, meals, gifts, ornaments in memory of Samuel, cards, CD's, books, magazines, and prayers. Many cards have been read and reread in the tough moments when I just need to be reminded of God's love for us. When you are wondering why He, the God of the Universe, the God you have always trusted, who is capable of anything, allowed your son to die sometimes you just need to remember that He does still love you regardless of how you feel. His word says He does... so He does. His word is TRUTH, not my feelings. I know I have said that before but I myself need the constant reminder. I am going to plaster His truths around my house just so I see that reminder everywhere I turn. I know it sounds pretty pathetic, you would think that when these truths have always been your cornerstone you wouldn't need the constant visual. But you know, the devil attacks, and I have felt it a great deal over the last couple of months. Nothing better to combat Him with than the word of God.


To know that people are praying for us is a gift to my soul. I know that is the only reason we made it through the first few weeks...knowing many were pounding on God's door on our behalf. So thank you everyone for all you have done for us, we are blessed! We continue to appreciate the prayers, there are still many ups and downs each day. But Praise God there are times the weight of our grief seems lighter.