These are 2 posts that I wrote with in the first 2 weeks after Samuel died... I think they tell best His story!...
NOT AT ALL WHAT WE PLANNED BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL
Dear Friends and Family,
We honestly can't believe how much our lives have changed in the last 2 weeks. We know that we are forever changed by what we have gone through.
Our sweet son Samuel Mark Hintz was taken to be the Lord before he had a chance to be born here on earth. We are devastated by this loss and just miss him so much. But we do see God's fingerprints all over our experiences over the last 10 days.
I was due on the 28th and the day passed like any other. In fact I remember sitting on the couch just laughing at how much wiggling the baby was doing that night. The next morning I woke up, got the kids breakfast and vacuumed the house. It was then that I thought I wasn't sure if I had felt him move that morning. After seeing the Dr. where we all thought we heard the heartbeat (which was mine... beating really fast) and going to the hospital we realized that he was already gone. We told the kids and then they went to stay with dear friends from the seminary while they induced labor. Samuel was born the next morning the 30th at 9:41. He was absolutely beautiful and perfect. The doctor thinks that it was a cord accident, the cord was around his neck and must have just gotten too tight. Our friends brought the kids back up and we were all so blessed to be able to hold him and kiss him and just inspect all of his perfect parts. He was so precious and such a cutie. There is a national organization that offers their photography services when an infant dies. They are called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and they came in to take pictures of us with Samuel. I am so grateful. I know that these are pictures that we will treasure forever.
God was so good to send just the right people to be with us during the labor and delivery. My midwife was such an encouragement reminding us that God would give us the grace to handle each little step one at a time. I still cling to this as we go through each day. There was a nurse that God sent to pray over me when I was completely overcome with grief. He was faithful and continues to be as the Body of Christ lifts us up in prayer. I know that is the only reason we have made it through this time. There are many other details that maybe I will share with time. I wanted you all to see our precious boy Samuel. Below the pictures is what we shared on the back of the church bulletin for his memorial service that we had last Monday. We really wanted everyone to see that we treasured and valued the life that God gave to Samuel. We loved every minute of the 9 months that we had with him.
This is what we had printed on the bulletin for Samuel's memorial service:
We honestly can't believe how much our lives have changed in the last 2 weeks. We know that we are forever changed by what we have gone through.
Our sweet son Samuel Mark Hintz was taken to be the Lord before he had a chance to be born here on earth. We are devastated by this loss and just miss him so much. But we do see God's fingerprints all over our experiences over the last 10 days.
I was due on the 28th and the day passed like any other. In fact I remember sitting on the couch just laughing at how much wiggling the baby was doing that night. The next morning I woke up, got the kids breakfast and vacuumed the house. It was then that I thought I wasn't sure if I had felt him move that morning. After seeing the Dr. where we all thought we heard the heartbeat (which was mine... beating really fast) and going to the hospital we realized that he was already gone. We told the kids and then they went to stay with dear friends from the seminary while they induced labor. Samuel was born the next morning the 30th at 9:41. He was absolutely beautiful and perfect. The doctor thinks that it was a cord accident, the cord was around his neck and must have just gotten too tight. Our friends brought the kids back up and we were all so blessed to be able to hold him and kiss him and just inspect all of his perfect parts. He was so precious and such a cutie. There is a national organization that offers their photography services when an infant dies. They are called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and they came in to take pictures of us with Samuel. I am so grateful. I know that these are pictures that we will treasure forever.
God was so good to send just the right people to be with us during the labor and delivery. My midwife was such an encouragement reminding us that God would give us the grace to handle each little step one at a time. I still cling to this as we go through each day. There was a nurse that God sent to pray over me when I was completely overcome with grief. He was faithful and continues to be as the Body of Christ lifts us up in prayer. I know that is the only reason we have made it through this time. There are many other details that maybe I will share with time. I wanted you all to see our precious boy Samuel. Below the pictures is what we shared on the back of the church bulletin for his memorial service that we had last Monday. We really wanted everyone to see that we treasured and valued the life that God gave to Samuel. We loved every minute of the 9 months that we had with him.
This is what we had printed on the bulletin for Samuel's memorial service:
We thank you all for coming to celebrate the
life of our sweet son Samuel. When we found out we were expecting him, our
family rejoiced. We had already been praying for this baby. We are so thankful
and feel so blessed that God chose us to be his family and that we had the time
that we had with him. Some may think that he never had a chance to live… we know
these were the days God had ordained and planned for him. We celebrate all
Samuel did with us, his time with us at the seminary, going on family walks,
packing and unpacking many boxes, moving here to Oklahoma, trips to Wisconsin
and Texas and so much more. Our whole family loved feeling him kick, move and
hiccup. We all loved talking and singing to him and the kids and Greg kissing
him goodnight. We treasured and enjoyed the 9 months God gave us with Samuel.
Though it was so much shorter than we ever would have thought or desired, we
just praise God for the special, wonderful life of our son
Samuel.
Samuel was prayed for, loved, and much anticipated by
Parents: Greg and Sara Hintz
Brothers and sister: Louis, Caleb, Anna and Elijah Hintz
Grandparents: Gary and Beverly Hintz & Wally and Ann Neumann
Aunts and Uncles: Mark and Jane Neumann, John and Katy Neumann, Josh and Lyndsey Neumann, Theron and Beth Dodson, and Lisa and Dale Quickel
Cousins: Leah, Hannah, Lindsay, Callie, Sophia, Ella, Grace, Will, Sara Beth, Isabella, Titus, Tobias, Ezra, Meaghan and Madison.
And many other dear friends
Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls-
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my Salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
Samuel was prayed for, loved, and much anticipated by
Parents: Greg and Sara Hintz
Brothers and sister: Louis, Caleb, Anna and Elijah Hintz
Grandparents: Gary and Beverly Hintz & Wally and Ann Neumann
Aunts and Uncles: Mark and Jane Neumann, John and Katy Neumann, Josh and Lyndsey Neumann, Theron and Beth Dodson, and Lisa and Dale Quickel
Cousins: Leah, Hannah, Lindsay, Callie, Sophia, Ella, Grace, Will, Sara Beth, Isabella, Titus, Tobias, Ezra, Meaghan and Madison.
And many other dear friends
Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls-
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my Salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
SWEET BABY FEET
Even Samuel's precious little feet were perfect.
Wow, I look at that picture and just see the handiwork of God our creator. He
doesn't make any mistakes... that is what I keep telling myself. God is sovereign and nothing
takes Him by surprise. He knew the number of Samuel's days before they came to
pass.
When we were in hospital already knowing
Samuel was gone, the doctor did an ultrasound. While he was looking at Samuel
his body had moved from a head down position to a transverse position, meaning he
was laying side to side in my uterus. The doctor had hoped to induce me and
start labor, but that wasn't possible if the baby wasn't head down. He spoke
with another Dr. and they decided the best thing was to send me home until the
baby was head down and then at that time they could induce me. (Since I have had
4 previous uncomplicated births this would be safer than doing a c-section) He
said that it was safe to wait up to 3 weeks. I couldn't believe what I was
hearing, were they serious? I just knew that there was no way I could go home
with my 4 kids and function knowing that the child I loved and was carrying was
no longer alive.
I asked the Dr. if he could try to move the
baby into a head down position. He said he would try. He turned on the
ultrasound machine to locate the placenta and that was when we saw the first of
many little miracles of Samuel's birth. He was head down again and they could
induce me right away. I labored all that night. Greg was so strong, I was an
obvious wreck. The next morning when the Dr. said I could push, I felt so weak
and full of fear, I just didn't think I was ready to meet my son knowing I was
going to have to say goodbye to him so much sooner than I anticipated. I asked
Greg to pray for me and he did as all of the Dr.s and nurses prepared for the
delivery. I only pushed 3 times and out came all 9 lbs. 2oz. of Samuel.
I had cried all night. Then the strangest
thing happened. Once he was out everyone else cried. For Greg this was when it
became real to him that his son was gone, the Dr., the nurses, my midwife were
all crying... but not me. The minute they put him on my chest all I could do was
admire him. Samuel was so perfect and completely beautiful. I was utterly in awe
of this wonderful creation that God had knit together inside of me. What a
miracle Samuel was. Wow, I just loved looking over every inch of him. Getting to
hold, snuggle and love on him was such a blessing. How I wish I could do that
right now.
And that brings me to his feet. I knew this
son of ours was conceived in love and was so precious to Greg and I. He is part
Greg, part me, and all God. As we were looking him over, I just laughed, he had
Greg's little toes. I will spare you all of the details, but they are uniquely
curved to the outside and Samuel's were just like his papa's. He was precious
and beautifully created even down to his little toes.
Wow, these days are difficult, so much harder
than I ever imagined. I never knew such kind of pain was even possible. There
are moments that I feel a hope for the future and then there are times that all
I can utter is just a plea for help from our Lord. We covet your prayers as we
continue day by day... sometimes moment by moment on this journey. We know that
the prayers of many are what have helped sustain us over these last 3 weeks.
