Big steps... Big missing... What God whispers...

Big changes around this house... Big missing happening in our hearts...
But at the same time big joy and thankfulness abounds as well!

And God is so sweet to whisper things to my heart that give my heart the perspective it needs... He is so good...

If I am completely honest, I am a nostalgic one.  Ever since I knew Caleb would be heading to OK for half the summer, I was counting down with last dinners, last family movie nights, last day of work, last family devotions, even last laundry folding night ... In my heart, wanting to savor every single thing and soak up each moment committing it to memory...

That goodbye when he left for OK back in May was brutal... once you have a child in heaven, things look a little different, you think different things, and truth be told during that last hug goodbye before he left for OK, I couldn't help but wonder if I would get the chance to hug him again this side of heaven... Actually, I made him get out of the car... to get one more hug from him... I know that might sound crazy, but I know how quickly life in an instant can change and be completely different from what you were expecting.

But oh how God used that time in OK and other promptings that I know HE gave to me to prepare my heart for Caleb to head to college this fall...

And that is just what he did last Friday...

But let me back up just a touch... I had wondered how on earth I would leave this kid at college and just walk away... leaving half my heart there... But God was so good to give me something that just put it all in perspective for me..

Let me first of all say that I am 100% thrilled for him... am so thankful for where he is, who his roommates are, and I know that this is a wonderful amazingly great place for Caleb to be... It seriously is such a great fit for him!  I am SO excited for all God has in store for him and I know he is going to do great and have an amazing time!!!!

But let me also say that the hurt leaving a child at college brings about is real too:) And I knew I was going to need help from God to process and get through that part!  (Keeping it real:) For me the sadness comes because I know in my heart it is the end of the ways things have been... Things will NEVER  be the same... but I also know it is the start of a lot of really great things too...

When I dropped Caleb off at the airport last Monday...(He had the amazing opportunity to go back to OK to see his girlfriend, her sweet family, and to see a really great concert.  He couldn't pass it up:) Him going meant we would pick him up from Milwaukee Friday with the van packed full of his stuff and head right for CUW from there.
"When I dropped him at the airport last Monday... I literally cried the whole way home... Oh man my heart ached knowing his time at home, the way it has been, was over... I was SO sad...

And this is where God showed up for me in such a special way...

It seriously was in that exact same moment that I thought, "How am I going to just drop him there at school and walk away from him...?", That God whispered this to my heart...

"But you get to!"

It is so so true... I really do get to!!

Immediately, I knew what God wanted me to hold onto... I get to have a front row seat to watch all that Caleb will experience in the coming years in college... I will get to see him shine in his studies, on the soccer friend, in relationships...

I will also maybe get to see the challenges he goes through, some struggles he may face, maybe even some failures along the way...

But it 100% is a privilege to GET TO witness this time in his life.  There are many families who won't get to see their child walk, talk, get their first job, go to college... I won't ever  get to see Samuel experience any of that... Not a single one of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  And as much as it is sad for me to not have him here, I keep reminding myself that I am so very blessed to GET TO be a part of Caleb's life right now... It is an honor and privilege and I am so very grateful!


So when I did drop Caleb off at Concordia University on Friday, Greg was on the other side of the world, literally... in Poland...  My heart has been preparing to take our first child going away to school on my own... Well not really, seeing as how I had 6 of the best little helpers/siblings joining me.  (Thankfully I also had a dear friend who was able to help us get Caleb's car up there as well... which also made the ride back SO much better to have a friend along!)


When we picked him up at the Milwaukee airport, I was so thankful for a 30 minute drive with him all to myself to catch up, get in my last bits of mom advice, and soak him in...

Here he is in front of his dorm with the kids (not sure why the photos are so blurry:(

Moving in and getting all unpacked... sweet Jojo, so tenderhearted... it was a hard day for him... 

So the band aid of dropping him off, literally got ripped off in a hurry!!!  We unpacked him, got him all settled, and then I had to head to a parent meeting for soccer from 1-2.  The whole team of boys (all his brand new friends:) showed up a few minutes before for their team meeting that was from 2-3... Literally I got a quick hug from him, and "I love you!" and off they all went into the meeting room... My brain was thinking... "That is it?  I sort of think that the coach plans it that way... ouch!!!

There was no way I was going to be a blubbering hot mess in front of his new coaches and teammates... although it took everything in me... :)

We miss Caleb so much!  I even miss seeing his beater JEEP in the driveway... The house seems quieter, there is less food to be made, it is just different... my steady eddy is no longer here...

But at the same time, I know he is doing great there at school, enjoying his roommates, and settling into the soccer routine.  I know he is really enjoying it!

And I know there will be a different kind of sweetness here at home... One that we all will get used to in time... I am so very thankful that God walks right with us through the amazingly difficult and beautiful times in life! And I couldn't be prouder of Caleb:)

And I am so thankful that I get to... 
It is such a great reminder to my heart of all the sweet little blessings and challenges that we are blessed to be able to experience each day... even the laundry, dishes, child training... every bit is really a privilege:)

How did we get here so fast??

A few weeks back we took Caleb to visit the University that he hopes to attend... Concordia University in Wisconsin... Never in a million years would I have thought we would have any kids that would attend the college we met at... but here we are...

More importantly... HOW ON EARTH DO WE HAVE A CHILD THAT COULD LEAVE FOR COLLEGE IN THE FALL!   

I am totally heartbroken (that our time with him at home is coming to a close:( and...

TOTALLY thrilled and excited for him all at the same time.  We are super proud of him!

We are still waiting on financial aid numbers, but do 100% feel that this could be a great fit for Caleb.  He is currently working really hard taking 3 dual credit classes online through CUW right now so he is getting a good taste of what it will be like:) 

He met with the soccer coaches and hopes to be able to play for them just like his dad:) 

All in all, we would be thrilled with him being in a safe Christian environment and his very best friend just got accepted and we couldn't be more thrilled with the 2 of them taking this journey together! 

Most likely he has another really good friend, a couple seminary friends and His partner in crime, his cousin Callie, who will be there also!  I know they are going to have too much fun!  I am so excited  and happy for him... The time has passed entirely too quickly for this mama!

My sweet friend Katie lives nearby so were able to meet for a super brief visit just one day before her new little one arrived.  Katie and I met because her daughter Emily is probably hanging out with Samuel in Heaven. 

 Wow, what a full circle moment for us... I tearfully prayed for the safe arrival of her little man in the parking lot.  There is just something about these HUGE life events that are FULLY understood by one another because we both have lived through the loss of baby, that just can't be denied.  We rejoice that he is here safe and sound... and is downright precious!  We are thanking God for Jonah's safe arrival... something that is never taken for granted by us! 

Life is moving at mach speed... So I hope to be a little better about updating... mostly for my own families sake as in the years ahead they may like to look back upon their busy life growing up:)  

A get away with the bigs!!

We were so blessed a couple of weeks back to get away for a very short and quick weekend with our four big kids.  We know adopting four kids has added an abundant amount of blessings to our family... but also an abundant amount of babysitting, diaper changes, bottles, messes etc. for our bigger kids to help with.  So after some talking we decided to give it a shot and try to find some special help to watch the 4 littles! It worked out great!

Caleb spent the previous night with his cousins and best buddy Logan and went and did a college visit with them. We met them all, including my sweet friend Kimmey Sue when we picked him up in Milwaukee!  What a treat to see Kim after so long.  We spent the 5 weeks in AZ while we were adopting Kaliyah with them in their home... (MOST GRACIOUS HOSTS EVER!!! And oh how I miss her!)

Then it was off to Door County Wisconsin!  Eating out was even a treat with out the littler guys:)

We were blessed to stay at the farm home of some friends from church:)

Lake Michigan is really beautiful... You really feel like you are on the edge of the ocean at times.  We stopped at a lot of shops, a lighthouse, let the kids skip rocks, and really took in the beautiful creation God has made:)

Anna and I ended the weekend hanging out in the hammock!  Talk about a beautiful day enjoying a beautiful property.  I was blessed to not have to cook all weekend!  HUGE TREAT! It was really a gift to hang with the 4 biggest kids!

When we got home these beautiful ladies had cleaned the whole house!  It was incredible!  Seriously, my heart was so blessed to come home and have the kids well taken care of and the bonus was a clean home!  It was awesome!  I didn't want these girls to leave:)

I am so thankful for each and every single one of my kids!  What a treat to have the big kids all to ourselves for a few days!

And just like that...

And just like that,  this little guy turned 17... 

Still as mischievous and funny as this day more than 15 years ago...

And just like that, he has the ladies... The lady cousins that is, fawning over him!!

In all seriousness, it is a joy to watch him and his cousins enjoy life together... They have such a special bond... They have grown up together... Cousins make great friends!

And just like that, he has grown into such a helpful and loving brother...

He is a HUGE help in our home and to so many others...

He is an extremely hard worker... dedicated... loyal... willing to do hard things...  He is very generous and  lovingly reaches out to even those that others may have a hard time reaching out to... 

I have loved watching him on missions trips to Uganda... It has been one of the biggest blessings of my life to serve alongside he and Louis...

The Lord knows exactly what and who we need... And He broke the mold when He made our Caleb for our family!  

Happy 17th Birthday Caleb... So very proud of the wonderful Christian young man you are growing into!  You are a gift each and every single day!

Her first few days...

The crew welcoming baby Kaliyah home from the hospital in Arizona... They were TOTALLY enamored with her right from the start...

Sisters...  I am so thankful to have this picture...

Jojo is like a little baby whisperer... seriously so good with her... 

Hopie, our very busy little girl, shone when she held her! And she still is such a big helper!

Caleb enjoying some snuggles before we opened gifts on Christmas Day!  (These were all taken before her birth mom changed her mind that day... everybody was falling in love already... it took like 1.5 seconds!:)

Totally Isaiah... in the midst of crazy circumstances this is what you get... A little bit of Zay Crazy!!

Kaliyah Joy... Christmas Day... 2 days old!

 Sweet Baby Girl!  Looking back at these pics makes me realize how light her skin was at birth... She has already changed so much!  What a treasure every moment with her is...

Day by day...

UPDATE as of 1:30 mountain time today...

I am on my way to the medical records office in Phoenix for full medicals requested by Alabama... The Adoption agency director is REALLY going to bat for us to get Alabama to push it through today and then AZ to push it through possibly today... With the upcoming holiday this would be a HUGE  BLESSING... We are so grateful to her!   This is going to take a miracle since it has taken us this long to not even get through the first state yet... But God's knows and He is in control... :)

Original post:

As the days tick by... Some of us here in AZ awaiting the clearance of our interstate adoption paperwork to clear and some of us waiting 1800 miles away in IL., there are  lots of things happening for the 7 of the Hintzes back at home in Chilly Illinois...

Dad Getting little guys and hopie ready for school each day... 

High school boys taking care of preschool boys after school (They are such great brothers!)...

Snowy walks to church... 

Facetiming with mom, Anna, Jojo, and Kaliyah...

And on our end in sunny Arizona there is a lot happening for the 4 of us:)

Day trips to Sedona to catch a glimpse of God's beautiful creation... (The friends we are staying with had a job 20 minutes from Sedona, so we tagged along)
Long walks with toddlers...
School work with Anna and Jojo (YAY... Science is mostly completed for the year... all of our book science is done... now just observations and projects!!!)

Lots of snuggle time with precious baby Kaliyah:)

Sweet get together with precious friends...

We are so thankful that even though we left our house 3 1/2 weeks ago and have been separated for a lot of that time... God is blessing us all with sweet times and lots of memories being made!  

So here is the ICPC status... 

Basically tomorrow starts day 1... Yep, you read that right DAY 1!!! Even though we are post relinquishment by 17 days, it is still day 1... 

 God willing our packet will be sitting on the ICPC Alabama desk tomorrow sometime.  God willing she will pass it through maybe tomorrow or shortly there after...  We have found Alabama to be not so easy to get through... We had new affidavits that needed to be written up, signed and notarized, that will go from the Alabama lawyer (who knew we would need an Alabama lawyer????) and be in ICPC  possession tomorrow morning! 

With the ways things have gone there are any number of things that could happen.  There was even one mention of a family that had to take the baby back to the state of the birth mother before they could clear that state.  OH GOODNESS, Please pray she is gracious, (that she won't make us do that and) that she will find all the paperwork needed right in front of her, and that she will pass us through that state asap.  

Then we need to clear Arizona... We are HOPING  by Friday... 

Then we need to clear Illinois...  God willing that happens by next Wednesday... This is all BEST case scenario... :)

As always we know that it could happen that we are cleared mid next week... 

AND then again, it very well might not happen...

 Please continue to pray that God moves any mountains in the way... Pray for safety and protection of Greg and the kids back home and then for us here...  And pray for patience that we all can just take it all in stride...

WE KNOW THAT NONE OF THIS TAKES  THE LORD BY SURPRISE... He knows the exact time that we will get clearance.   It will all be in HIS perfect timing:) 

Don't blink... They will be all grown up...

And the College visits begin for my boys...
How can we honestly be anywhere near this point in life...
I think I was one of the only moms with a little guy in the back pack on a college tour for the oldest 2 boys... Oh my!!!


The Lake front at the Concordia University campus is beautiful!   It has changed a lot since the days G and I were there together!  I remember many a day studying on a blanket overlooking the lake:)

 Lake Michigan is gorgeous and honestly looked like the carribean that day... Beautiful!

And now we have 2 kids interested in attending school there:)

I think at first they thought that because we had gone there that it wouldn't be super COOL... They were so pleasantly surprised and loved it!  They loved the dorms, the food, the activities...
And now we wait!:)

They both have to finish this year and I think Caleb another year at home as well! I am so proud of them... not that all kids don't all have their own issues and situations to deal with, and mine are no different... But all in all through the tough and beautiful times, I am really proud of them... 

Emma and her mom came to visit CUW and Moody Bible Institute with us.  She was sold on Moody, Which is super exciting, but we will see what God has planned for her and the boys.  It was really fun to get to have them look at schools together.  My nieces from Wisconsin even joined us at Concordia:)  

Louis said he really liked both schools, but I think Concordia has an edge for him, from what he said:)  We had such a nice time with Emma and her mom... I miss them already... 

Mother's Day 2015

This year my heart was torn in two on mothers Day...

I have girls from my MEND group that were experiencing their very first Mother's Day without their baby here with them... Oh the hurt and sorrow...

I watched kids at church whose mother passed away years ago...

I looked into the eyes of my adopted kids and couldn't help but think of their very first mommies that gave them life... And then made probably the hardest decision of their lives to hand those precious babies over to someone else to raise...

There are moms who are close to their children and moms who are estranged from their kids...

I remembered the mothers days I really wanted so desperately to be a mom, but wasn't sure if it would ever come to be... Oh the longing and hurt of women struggling with infertility...

There are so many who hurt on Mother's Day, yet so many reasons to rejoice... 

I would not trade my job as a mom for anything in the world... NOTHING!  It is my greatest JOY in life!!!

I awoke to the kids bringing me breakfast In bed... It was Super yummy and super sweet of them...

Oh the sacrifice our sweet birth moms and donor mom (for Levi), made to bless us with the amazing priviledge of raising their sweet amazing babies... 

I am overcome with gratefulness!!!

My heart bursts with love for these seven amazing gifts from God...

And my heart rejoices that one day when ALL THINGS ARE MADE RIGHT... I will have eternity with all of my kids...

God was so good to make my dream of being a mommy a reality... My heart OVERFLOWS!!

Another HINTZ on the road...

This little pumpkin turned 16 yesterday...

Our negotiator...

Self starter... Self motivated...

Hard working... Orphans serving...

Mission minded... 

Young man Caleb...

After 3 tries to get the paperwork right and then trying to get the driving school to send things through to the Secretary of State... (Something that should have been done months ago)

One driving test later and we have another licensed driver on the road...

I was really proud of him keeping his cool, and not getting frustrated through lots of bumps in getting that accomplished...

(Caleb and his cousins at his 4th birthday party... And yes, he still makes that same look today!!:)

(Caleb meeting Anna for the very first time... I adore his expression here!!! So precious!)

Happy 16th to our sweet son Caleb... 

What a gift he is from our Father...  

What a priviledge it is to raise him...

I am so thankful God chose us to be his parents...

So thankful...

Thankful hearts...

Moving your teenagers is NOT an easy thing...
Waiting on the Lord to provide them with new friends can be hard...
But God has showed up and provided friends near and far for our kids...
And my heart is so so very thankful!

Louis, Jordan, Megs, and Caleb all dressed up to serve at the youth spaghetti dinner, a fundraiser for their youth mission trip to South Dakota this summer.
The food was great, servers all decked out... and the kids testimonies were so great!

I don't think that there are too many things that touch my heart more than seeing and hearing about young men and women living out their faith in Jesus!  It was AWESOME!!

Teenagers tie dying  before the dinner!

Let the snow play begin....

We have been waiting for a dumping of snow like this all winter... The  Chicago Super Bowl blizzard delivered it BIG Time!!!

We bundled up and explored the church property... Who knew playgrounds in the deep snow is so much fun???

Being launched off the slide into the powder was so great!

Caleb finally had a break to play in it versus just shovel it... Over 18 inches of snow fell from Saturday evening to Monday morning...

He and louis are so blessed to work on campus... But when the snow falls... Especially for 30+hours that means you are blessed with an able body to shovel it and get it cleared:)

And when it keeps falling and falling and falling some more and the church has 3 services plus other groups that use the campus... 

You keep shoveling... Go back out a few hours later and keep shoveling again...

It was like a winter wonderland on campus with tons of great hills for playing king of the mountain.
There was also loads of snow ice cream to be eaten by all:)

I am so very thankful for the gentle reminder that just like this lily white snowfall blankets the park earth...  Jesus' grace and forgiveness covers all of our sin... making us freely forgiven,.. again and again