Mother's Day 2015

This year my heart was torn in two on mothers Day...

I have girls from my MEND group that were experiencing their very first Mother's Day without their baby here with them... Oh the hurt and sorrow...

I watched kids at church whose mother passed away years ago...

I looked into the eyes of my adopted kids and couldn't help but think of their very first mommies that gave them life... And then made probably the hardest decision of their lives to hand those precious babies over to someone else to raise...

There are moms who are close to their children and moms who are estranged from their kids...

I remembered the mothers days I really wanted so desperately to be a mom, but wasn't sure if it would ever come to be... Oh the longing and hurt of women struggling with infertility...

There are so many who hurt on Mother's Day, yet so many reasons to rejoice... 

I would not trade my job as a mom for anything in the world... NOTHING!  It is my greatest JOY in life!!!

I awoke to the kids bringing me breakfast In bed... It was Super yummy and super sweet of them...

Oh the sacrifice our sweet birth moms and donor mom (for Levi), made to bless us with the amazing priviledge of raising their sweet amazing babies... 

I am overcome with gratefulness!!!

My heart bursts with love for these seven amazing gifts from God...

And my heart rejoices that one day when ALL THINGS ARE MADE RIGHT... I will have eternity with all of my kids...

God was so good to make my dream of being a mommy a reality... My heart OVERFLOWS!!

When my knees hit the ground...

Have you ever had those hurts... that still years later... still hurt...  Not all the time... but from time to time... you just can't deny that the hurt remains...

You know you have forgiven those who have hurt you... or it may not even be because of something someone else did, but just due to life circumstances...
Even though you have gotten through the initial shock of the hurt and maybe a lot of the healing...

Regardless of all of that... it doesn't mean your heart has forgotten the hurt...  or doesn't still ache at times because of the hurt... At first like a scab that can be torn off again... or later like scar that is still tender...

So much of those hurts for me reflect back on my time after losing Samuel... Oh how badly my heart hurt, and how broken I was as a person...

PRAISE GOD, He doesn't leave us in our brokenness forever...

Last night we had MEND and we talked a lot about Mother's Day and what that day is like when you don't have all of your children here with you...

This song is one I have been hitting over and over again on my play list as I run lately... It is so beautiful...

"I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground!" Oh, we are so close to the Father's heart when we are in prayer communicating with him... And my babies are with Him... Wow... how thankful I am for that...

And when I am at the table for Communion during church I can't help but think of communing with all the saints here on earth and in Heaven... All of us worshiping the Savior together at the same time... My Babies and I doing the same thing... Them in Heaven and me still here on earth...

 I have thought so often lately of What Heaven is like for Samuel, Joel, or the baby we miscarried...

 I know there isn't any pain or sorrow... I can't help but wonder if there are moms who had to leave their babies too soon that on this Mother's Day are hanging out with my mine...
or are there grandmas that never got to rock their grand babies that will  scoop them  right up on their laps...

 I know it doesn't really matter because whatever is happening...

 It is perfect...

It brings my heart comfort to think of those things...

Enjoy Touch the Sky... by Hillsong United...