32 WEEKS 2 DAYS:)
EMBARKING ON DAY 37 OF BED REST ... DAY 16 OF HOSPITAL BED REST
AWAITING ANOTHER 5-12 INCHES OF SNOW IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS:)
SO WISH I COULD GET OUT THERE WITH THE KIDS AND PLAY IN IT:)
AT THE SAME TIME SOOOOO HAPPY TO BE SAFE AT THE HOSPITAL...
ANOTHER GOOD BIOPHYSICAL PROFILE YESTERDAY
GOOD NON STRESS TESTS TODAY::)
I HAVE OCCASIONAL CONTRACTIONS, BUT THANKFULLY NOTHING LIKE LAST SATURDAY NIGHT.
YESTERDAY HE WAS BREECH... HE SEEMS TO BE BACK AND FORTH WITH EACH ULTRASOUND
TURN BACK HEAD DOWN AND SETTLE IN LITTLE GUY:)
ABSOLUTELY LOVE FEELING LEVI WIGGLE AROUND DURING THE DAY
STILL WISH HE WOULD MOVE MORE AT NIGHT...
TRYING TO TEACH MYSELF TO CROCHET
WANTED TO MAKE LEVI A HAT...
TURNS OUT, I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT FOLLOWING THE YOU TUBE DIRECTIONS AND IT WILL BE ANNA WHO ENDS UP WITH THIS FIRST HAT:)
I THINK I HAVE MADE A PERMANENT REAR END INDENTATION IN MY HOSPITAL BED
I LOVE TALKING WITH THE KIDS AT NIGHT AND HEARING ALL ABOUT THEIR FAVORITE PARTS OF THE DAY
THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF FORT BUILDING AT THE HINTZ HOUSE LATELY:)
I HAVE ENJOYED THE FREEDOM TO HAVE MORE QUIET TIME WITH MY SAVIOR
I HAVE MISSED HAVING UNLIMITED TIME WITH MY KIDDOS
TALKED OVER THE BIRTH WITH THE DOCTOR TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME
WONDERING HOW I WILL DO EMOTIONALLY ON DELIVERY DAY...
I HAD A LACTATION CONSULTANT DELIVER MY LUNCH TODAY AND WAS ABLE TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT NURSING A PREMATURE BABY
HAVE STRUGGLED WITH A LITTLE MORE FEAR TODAY OF LOSING ANOTHER CHILD....
TRYING TO TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE AND MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST...
HOPEFULLY ONLY 34 DAYS UNTIL WE MEET THIS SWEET LITTLE MIRACLE PUMPKIN FACE TO FACE... MAYBE LESS:)
SO THANKFUL THAT HE IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND FOREVER... REGARDLESS OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES AT THE MOMENT...
RESTING IN HIM <>< TONIGHT AS I HIT THE HAY...:)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp
the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through
the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem
distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
OUR GROWING FAMILY... GROWING DAY BY DAY, BY GOD'S GRACE...
Pages
About Me
- Sara
- OKLAHOMA, United States
- I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday. We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013. This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father... Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.
Followers
SAMUEL'S NAME IN THE SAND
A FAVORITE PICTURE OF OUR FIRST 5
ME AND MY HONEY
OUR LOUIS
OUR CALEB
OUR ANNA
OUR JOJO
OUR SAMUEL...SAFE IN HEAVEN
Baby Joel safe in Heaven
OUR SWEET BABY GIRL
Levi... our miracle through embryo adoption
Our Isaiah
Please Be Gentle By Jill B. Englar
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp
the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through
the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem
distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
Remembering
Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about
hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal
by releasing the tears
that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about
hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal
by releasing the tears
that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~
Blog Archive
Labels
- a mother's love (2)
- adoption (115)
- Adoption baby 2015 (19)
- Adoption baby 2015 faithfulness of God (3)
- Africa (3)
- Anna (89)
- anniversary (1)
- answered prayers (1)
- baby (1)
- baby loss (40)
- bedrest (22)
- BIBLE STUDY (2)
- bigs (1)
- birthdays (4)
- birthmom (1)
- birthmoms (3)
- birthparents (3)
- Blessings (6)
- brokeness (1)
- brothers (1)
- cabin (1)
- Caleb (70)
- Chicago (1)
- church (1)
- Church family (2)
- college (2)
- communication (1)
- Concordia (1)
- country living (2)
- cousins (3)
- CPO (2)
- CUBS (1)
- CUW (1)
- Cystic Fibrosis (1)
- daily life (1)
- door county (1)
- Easter (2)
- Ebenezers (1)
- embryo adoption (77)
- embryo adoption. (2)
- faith (88)
- faith. (2)
- FAITHFULNESS OF God (30)
- family (220)
- FAMILY LIFE (15)
- family pictures (1)
- FMSC (3)
- friend (1)
- friends (55)
- friends. (2)
- frugal living (2)
- gardening (6)
- Greg (36)
- grief (117)
- Haiti (2)
- healthy eating (1)
- Heaven (3)
- His plans (1)
- holidays (9)
- home (1)
- homeless (1)
- homeschooling (7)
- Hope (69)
- HOPE JUBILEE (24)
- human videos (1)
- identity in Christ (1)
- infant loss (4)
- International Voice of The Orphan (27)
- international voice of the orphan. (1)
- Isaiah (53)
- IVO (10)
- Joel (20)
- Jojo (103)
- Joplin (2)
- journey to kaliyah (6)
- kaliyah (20)
- large family life (1)
- lessons (1)
- Levi (147)
- Levi family (3)
- life (1)
- loss (1)
- Lou (1)
- Louis (71)
- love (8)
- making memories (3)
- marriage (4)
- meal planning (1)
- meals for missions (1)
- memorial box Monday (6)
- memories (1)
- MEND (27)
- MISC (4)
- miscarriage (1)
- mission trip (1)
- missions (7)
- Moore (2)
- Mother's Day (2)
- mountain mover (1)
- moving (4)
- natural living (2)
- NEW BABY (17)
- new year (1)
- New years eve (1)
- Not me Monday (3)
- orphan (3)
- Orphans (50)
- parenting (1)
- Praise (1)
- Prayer (1)
- prayer request (9)
- preschool (1)
- questions (1)
- RABBITS (1)
- raising Godly children (1)
- RANDOMNESS (2)
- recipes (2)
- running (1)
- Ryane (1)
- Samuel (161)
- Sara (5)
- school (1)
- seminary (5)
- service (1)
- sharing our story (1)
- soccer (1)
- special needs (1)
- spiritual warfare (1)
- Spring (1)
- St. Peter (2)
- St. Peter Lutheran (3)
- stillbirth (3)
- summer (6)
- sweet baby girl (5)
- Texas (3)
- Thankful Thursday (2)
- THANKFULNESS (1)
- thanksgiving (1)
- The Gem Foundation (5)
- thegemfoundation (1)
- Tiews (7)
- tornado (1)
- Uganda (65)
- updates (1)
- vacation (60)
- Watoto (1)
- wedding (1)
- widows (1)
- winter (1)
- Wisconsin (3)
- worship (1)
- youth group (3)
I'm a
Hintz Family
5 comments:
So good to "hear" from you. I was just thinking about you and delivery and all the emotions that came along with it for me...wondering if the same would happen to you. If you want to talk, I'm here. I don't want to push my thoughts on you if you don't want to hear them, but I'm willing to share if you do. And I've been down the road of nursing a premature baby once or twice, too. Love you friend! Praying!
Pretty sure you will be a basket case on delivery day! Remember all those "firsts" after Samuel died? This will be like another "first". But I also believe that once you see Levi kicking and hear him crying, all of those fears will be washed away. Oh, Sara...Levi will be about 2 months old at convention time...maybe I'll get to meet him in Tulsa this year! You are a trooper...cannot fathom having to stay in the hospital for that long. Thinking of you often!
You should have the family buy you a loom set at Walmart. The Neumann girls use them and make super cute hats, much easier than crochet. I have made 6 or 7 in the last month. It is addicting once you learn how to do it. Thinking about you tons and pray for you everyday. Lyndsey
thinking of you, as always.
connie
p.s. i finally started on your letter today! now if i can only finish it before you deliver so you have something to do while on bedrest.....
I so feel for you! I truly know how hard it is to be away from your kiddos while trying to "Bake" your baby another day! I'm glad you're writing down what you're grateful for. Sometimes the nurses or how bad the cafeteria messed up my meals were my only humor for the day! Are you wearing those lovely compression boots? Aren't they so pretty?
I do wish that I would've read up on a couple of my fave books while there. Have you heard of Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts? Are your visitors bringing you goodies from outside? Do you have your fave blanket and yummy smelling lotions? And music? I so wish I would've had encouraging music playing ALL day long! I'm praying for you! I'd be happy to chat with you on preemies and nursing as well. Hugs!
Post a Comment