Thursday, January 20, 2011

Now I am obsessed...

Today was an interesting office visit with the high risk doctor ... To say the least. First off we stayed the night at our friend house right down themstreet from the hospital... And again tonight as I have another
appointmemt tomorrow. We are so thankful that they let us stay:). They have been incredibly gracious!! And the kids have had a ball. We would have had our hands full on the roads for sure from our house as there was some ice under the snow and they don't do anything for the roads here. All the schools in the area are closed again tomorrow. I think we got maybe 2 inches of snow...

The high risk doctor said more of the exact same thing that my doctor said. "It all is fine...shouldn't be something that progresses quickly without being caught by the monitoring and tests. I know she truly is trying to help put my mind at ease and I appreciate that... But I truly think that unless you have lost a baby... I don't think it can be fully understand... Because I have seen and heard now that what I feel is totally normal when you have lost a baby already. I think that our situation of Faiths baby, the one that we were going to adopt being stillborn too, just makes all these "highly unlikely"'things to happen more likely... We have seen it in the past... So sometimes the impossible seems possible if that makes sense.

She did tell me she thought I was obsessing over it... Hmmm that made me feel a little "nuts" so to speak. I did learn that there is no stage 4 with the aging placenta thing... 3 is the last stage... That left Greg feeling more at peace. Me, not so much. And apparently I have an increased risk of a placental abruption than normal. It is still unlikely, like maybe a 1 percent chance. Please pray against that as that would be really bad, seeing as we are 40 minutes from the hospital.

She did agree for me to be seen 3 times a week for all the testing on Levi. So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we will be checked. That makes me feel better that they have a better chance of catching something since it won't be as long between visits. I REALLY appreciate being able to do that.

Believably or not, I actually feel a sense of peace tonight. Thank you Lord!!! I have needed it.

She also said there is no way they would let memo past 37 weeks, and that I probably won't make it there. So at the latest, we should meet Levi the 15th of March, but most likely earlier. Sounds good to me.

Continually crying out to God for peace!!

Continually thankful for all the ways people have helped lately!!

Continually thankful for the prayers lifted on mine and Levi's behalf!!

Continually placing this little guy in the Lord's hands... Can't wait till he physically is in mine:)


Tonya said...

Pregnancy after loss is all consuming. I was obsessed with Matthew's well-being, and I know anyone else in our shoes would agree. I didn't want him to be born early, but when he was, I thought "At least he's here and alive". While we know it's out of our hands, it is so IN our hands (so to speak) because they are growing inside of us. It is up to us to try to recognize when something is wrong and that's a lot of pressure and there's tons of fear associated with it. Hang in there sweet friend. My heart is aching for you and longing for great things! I'm praying several times a day for you. I'm so glad that you felt a little peace last night. I hope your appointment goes well today, too. Love and hugs!

Sherri said...

Oh man, my heart goes out to you, because I know how many times my mind ran away with scary thoughts and not so great outcomes while prego with Archer. I also know, that even though he is here and well, I still run up to make sure he is still breathing in his crib.... Aaaah... just trying to daily give it to God, and trusting Him. He gave us these big loving mommy - hearts, and then He asks us to trust Him and not worry. Praying for you today - and thinking and praying for you all the time ---- even though I don't always comment :)
love, Sherri

lam said...

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