Thursday, January 13, 2011
Another bit of a twist...
I wanted to give you all an update on my appointment today with the high risk doctor. I am going to lay it all out there and I think I will try to post tomorrow about where I am at spiritually with everything that is going on. ( It was interesting because after I woke up way too early by my standards this morning, 6 am, checked on Levi with the doppler because he didn't seem to be moving enough, then I researched some stillbirth sites... Just to make sure I wasn't missing something.... Then g and I had a huge discussion about our faith in the midst of all of this.... I will try to post on that tomorrow)
Any ways back to the doctors visit. He sure does look precious up there huh? It looks like he has chubby cheeks already:)
My blood pressure was fine... Yay!!! My protein was fine:). Levi did great on the non stress test and the biophysical profile. Yay Levi!!! Those are all great things. Praise God!!!
Here is where it gets dicey for me... Last week she had said that my placenta as aging a little prematurely, but that it was nothing to worry about and that we would monitor it. It was a stage 2 last week. 0 is normal and 4 is the worst. Well low and behold, today we were at a stage 3... Ugh! She really didn't seem concerned, I of course was. She said that the function was still fine because everything pointed to that in the tests done with Levi.
She even went on to say that we could be at stage 4 with tiny black spots where the placenta wasn't working anymore and that if the function was fine and Levi was fine that we wouldn't have to deliver immediately. I just said REALLY??? Just thinking... You have got to be kidding me... How would I be expected to go home OK with that and go on with life as normal??? I know she is the high risk doctor and obviously knows WAY more than me, but she also hasn't lived through what I have.
In my mind I think... How do we know when the placenta will finally not do it's job when it is showing signs of premature aging? Will it be too late? I want to fight for my baby, but struggle when she really has an answer for everything and doesn't seem worried. Am I just over reacting? I feel like his safety is somewhat in my hands ( I know ultimately God is in control:). But I am supposed to be watching for movement changes.... Ummmm yeah! I can be watching him move all around on the ultrasound monitor and barely even feel any of it?? I guess my aging placenta is acting like a buffer to me. It just seems like I can't really win... in my book, I want him to be moving all the time so I know that he is. Does this make sense? Please if anyone has been in my shoes let me know if you have feelings about any of what I said.
So now the whole bp thing seems to be responding great to the Meds and the bedrest... But this placenta thing is more of the concern. Would you please pray with me for a miracle, that my placenta would stop aging right now, continue functioning exactly how it should, and that none of this would affect Levi. Also pray that although he needs to sleep that he would be active and that his movements would reassure me. I am also praying that if something is not right, that I would know it, recognize it and be able to act quickly to get Levi exactly whatever help he needs.
My next appointment is Monday with my regular doc but I will still have the nst ( nonstress test) and the bpp (biophysical profile) done on Levi! it melted my heart to see a 4 d picture of him... MELTED... MY... HEART!!
Lord, please heal my body and allow it to work exactly how it should. Please watch over this little miracle ,Levi, that you have allowed to grow inside of me. Thank you for each day we have with him. Please Lord protect Him from any harm if That is your will Lord! Please give us peace father as we on your timing for his precious little life. FILL us with your peace! We need it Lord! We know that you promise to be with us... please Lord make your presence known and felt in our lives today:)