This morning I walked down the street a couple of blocks for church...
I was overcome with emotions... As I was singing...
Savior, he can move the mountains
My God is mighy to save... He is mighty to save...
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave... Jesus conquered the grave...
I was totally struck by the fact that I ultimately want to see this precious little Isaiah in Heaven... That is my biggest hearts desire... OBVIOUSLY I want him to go home with me... But that totally comes second... I want him to be saved!!! Please God save this precious little guy....
I was so thankful that God conquered the grave so that someday I WILL see my Samuel again!!!
I ultimately, I know that my Savior can move the mountains and will to accomplish what he wants to in this little guys life...
If you think of it would you please pray for me.. Today was a very hard day... I had hours tonight where I literally was begging for peace... Waiting while I could be with not be with him... It is hard waiting for the call that you got chosen by a birth mom and then you wait again with emotions HIGH until you know if he will FULLY be your forever child... Honestly, I am at the worn out point tonight... A bit weary... I am now just watching him in the warmer and Under the lights...
I told the agency rep tonight that although they would recommend guarding your heart and I even said I should yesterday... I am realizing... That is just not me... I can't really do it... (We experienced that same thing with Hope, to a degree) This little guy deserves to be loved FULLY, held tight, kissed, loved on, spoken to sweetly, cuddled... All of it... And he is gonna get it from me regardless of what the birthmom decides to do... Everything seems fine but... You just never know...... Ahhhh... Lord grant me peace and patience... And I know he is yours Father!!!
I was SO VERY BLESSED to have 2 precious friends come see us today... These girls are like family... We laughed because at this point only our immediate family can come in to see him... We were saying they are family to us here... aunt Shelley and aunt Nikki... They could catch a good look but not touch him... More importantly I got some time with them... Such a blessing to my heart. As usual we had some good laughs and I NEEDED it! I love those girls for making the trek to come pass time with me and to come encourage my heart:):) So thankful for that tonight... :)
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So thankful that you had friends with you yesterday. You are on my heart and I am home all day if you need anything. Be still and let God take care of all the details. I love you --- mary
We love because that is all we know how to do. God has poured his love into you and it flows out. You can't stop God from filling you, and you can't stop it from coming out. There is no use trying. We wait patiently knowing that God loves each child. We know that his plan is bigger than our own. While our hearts are forever changed by each new person we come to love, we know that each person is also lovingly held by our Heavenly Father. God has a plan, let him use you to love this child. I am praying for you today and over this noon hour. May God grant you an abundance of peace in his plan, grace to share with others, and awe of how he uses you to be his hands and feet. -Cheryl
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