IT HAS BEEN 15 MOS. SINCE WE KNEW OUR FAMILY WOULD NEVER BE COMPLETE THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN... OH HOW WE LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN WE CAN ALL BE TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY.
THESE PRECIOUS EARS HAVE BEEN HEARING THE PRAISES OF HIS CREATOR FOR A FULL 15 MONTHS... WOW, JUST TO IMAGINE IT...
FOR 15 MONTHS THESE BEAUTIFULLY FORMED LITTLE FEET HAVE BEEN WALKING THE STREETS OF GOLD... OR CRAWLING ON IT:)... WHO KNOWS IF MY SWEET BOY IS A BABY FOR A FULL GROWN MAN IN HEAVEN... I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT...
FOR 15 MONTHS THESE STRONG ARMS HAVE BEEN A CONSTANT SUPPORT TO ME.
FOR 15 MONTHS OUR HEARTS HAVE ACHED.
FOR 15 MONTHS OUR ARMS HAVE ACHED TO JUST HOLD HIM ONE MORE TIME.
FOR 15 MONTHS WE HAVE THANKED GOD FOR THE PRECIOUS GIFT OF OUR 4TH SON SAMUEL MARK AND FOR THE TIME WE HAD WITH HIM.
FOR 15 MONTHS THIS MAMA'S HEART HAS LONGED FOR MY SON. MAN, DO I MISS THE SMELL OF HIM. THIS MAY SOUND STRANGE BUT, ONE DAY I ACTUALLY TRIED TO SMELL THE LOCK OF HAIR WE HAVE ... JUST TO SEE IF I COULD SMELL HIM AGAIN... UGH... SIGH...IT STILL MAKES ME SAD THAT HIS SMELL IS GONE. I CAN BARELY DESCRIBE TO PEOPLE THE AMOUNT OF WAYS THAT SAMUEL HAS CHANGED ME OR HOW I HAVE CHANGED FROM EXPERIENCING ALL THAT WE HAVE IN THE LAST 15 MONTHS. SOME ARE WONDERFUL CHANGES, SOME NOT SO MUCH. I AM STILL REALIZING SOME OF THESE CHANGES. EVEN THOUGH 15 MONTHS HAVE PASSED, THERE ARE DAYS THAT IT FEELS LIKE LAST WEEK.THAT IS HOW VIVID AND CLEAR THE MEMORIES ARE. I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE VIVID, CLEAR MEMORIES OF MY BOY. THANKFULLY FOR 15 MONTHS MY SAVIOUR HAS HELD ME IN HIS ARMS JUST LIKE I WAS HOLDING SAMUEL IN THE ABOVE PICTURE.
SAMUEL, MY SWEET PRECIOUS SON, I STILL MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY. I THINK OF YOU EVERY DAY AND WONDER WHAT HEAVEN IS LIKE FOR YOU. I WONDER IF YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FRIENDS OR IF ALL OF YOU ARE TOO BUSY PRAISING OUR GREAT GOD. I WONDER IF YOU WERE THERE TO WELCOME LITTLE ZOE HOME LAST THURSDAY. I WONDER SO MUCH ABOUT YOU SON... WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE NOW. HAVING HOPE HERE HAS GIVEN ME A GLIMPSE OF ALL OF THE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT BE DOING RIGHT NOW HAD YOU BEEN ABLE TO STAY. WE ARE SO THANKFUL TO HAVE HER HERE WITH US, BUT OUR HEARTS WISH YOU WERE HERE TOO... NO ONE WILL EVER REPLACE YOU. SAMUEL, I TREASURED EACH DAY I HAD WITH YOU... I AM SO THANKFUL I KNEW THEN HOW INCREDIBLY PRECIOUS YOUR LIFE WAS... IT IS STILL JUST AS PRECIOUS TO ALL OF US. YOUR BROTHERS AND ANNA TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. TONIGHT LOUIS THANKED GOD FOR YOU WHEN WE ALL PRAYED BEFORE BED. SWEET LITTLE ANNA CONTINUES TO SHED LOTS OF TEARS FOR YOU. WE ARE SO THANKFUL YOU ARE SAFE, WHOLE AND WITH JESUS... OUR HEARTS MISS YOU TERRIBLY HERE ON EARTH WITH US. WE ALL CAN'T WAIT TO JOIN YOU SOME DAY... SAMUEL I LOVE YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE MY SON... TILL WE MEET AGAIN FACE TO FACE...
MOM
COME LORD JESUS, COME!
5 comments:
Beautiful. Don't know what else to day. My heart aches and breaks with you. Longing for our boys. Knowing they must be friends in heaven, like we've become here on earth. He is beautiful, Sara. I can only imagine how beautiful he is in heaven. Your words rang true in my heart. So very, very true.
Love you friend,
Tonya
Oh to smell our sweet ones again. I couldn't smell Felicity in the hospital very well, I was so stuffed up from crying. The last time I got out her clothes that they dressed her in, I tried also to smell her scent but it wasn't really there. Wish I would've thought to put the outfit in a plastic bag, maybe that would've preserved it more.
I've spent a lot of time looking at Caleb the last few days and thinking about what parts of him remind me of Felicity. They have the same lips and nose for sure.
I too wonder what they'll be like in Heaven - so much to look forward to there. I know Samuel is perfect there, as he was on earth, just more whole as he is with his Savior.
Missing Samuel with you. What a beautiful boy he is. Perfect.
This was beautiful Sarah. Samuel was such a handsome little boy, just perfect. I often wonder about heaven too. I like how you pointed those different things out, if they will be grown or a baby, if they are playing or too busy in awe of our Saviour. Praying for you!
Sara, that was a beautiful tribute to Samuel! I'm remembering him today with you. He is a VERY cute baby and I LOVE his red lips! I like how you mentioned that your husband's strong arms have been holding you just like your Heavenly Father's. What a wonderful gift you have received through this tragedy - an unshakable bond between you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your heart.
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