Friday, July 19, 2013


Three years ago... and 5 days... this little man was just an embryo, a ball of multiplying cells in a clinic in California... just waiting for the perfect warm womb to call home...

Of the 4 remaining thawed frozen embryos that were still growing at that time... was he the one they would give only a 30% chance of making it or was he one of the other 2 that they gave only a 25% chance of living inside of me...??

We obviously will NEVER know... Those weren't great odds for survival, but even that proves more and more what a miracle he is... having been frozen for 5 years... there he was growing... and hours later growing inside of me... only God can arrange that kind of creativity and power... the power to breath life back  into him!

These days this precious little 2 year old... is TWO!!!  He is funny, silly, cuddly, and feisty!!  He can be a little grumpy, which I think is caused by the fact that he isn't a big talker.  I think he knows what he wants to say... but just can't get it out and is totally frustrated.  I am looking into seeing if he needs any help speech wise.... I know he will be so much happier when he can talk more.   He will sign a couple of things and is repeating more and more, so that is good!

I will never forget flying to California for the embryo transfer.... wondering if it would be successful... Knowing that we had friends and family who probably thought we were crazy.  We also knew that they were worried that if it didn't work, how would we cope and what would our reaction be like after losing Samuel, Joel (the baby we were supposed to adopt), a miscarriage, being in the middle of a Hope's crazy adoption... not knowing if we would get to keep her... (They had a fair amount to be concerned about )

We knew there was a decent chance it wouldn't work... yet to us it was worth the risk.  We knew that God would still be good and faithful even if it wasn't successful and we didn't get pregnant... But wow!!!  We were so grateful that God's will was to give Levi a longer life here on earth.   Now, there is no way I could EVER imagine life without him... We get such a kick out of him... (Honestly, I think about those other 6 embryos, babies... To have another like Levi would be pure joy... but I trust in God's plan for the number of days of their lives... sometimes I miss that none of the other embryos made it...)

I am so thankful for God's miraculous work to 1.  Allow us to adopt him and the other 6 embryos  2.  Breath life right back into him and work in him to grow and thrive  in my womb 3.  Be born healthy and alive  4. Bring us such great joy after such sorrow.  5.  Heal a place in my heart I never knew would be healed without a baby growing inside of me again...

I look at Levi Ryan and see the goodness and faithfulness of God staring me right in the face... such sweetness..

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