FAMILY THEME SONG...

This is our family theme song as we head from 2012 into 2013...

As I sit here on the New Year's Eve 2012... I feel such a HUGE variety of emotions... (Wow, how can it be possible for the Lord to create so many different emotions and for one human being to feel so many all at once!!  Yes, I am a complex creature... :)

EXTREME THANKFULNESS... for this sweet precious new gift of a child in Isaiah... and for each and every one of my kids here and in Heaven... We are so blessed!  Each one is SUCH A TREASURE TO US!!!

EXTREME WONDER... for how the Lord has knit my family together... it still AMAZES me each and every day... good old fashioned biological children, still birth, misscariage, domestic adoptions, embryo adoptions... I know some look at us or hear our story and think CRAZY TRAIN... I look and think... Wow!!!  Lord you are so good, faithfull and amazing to create our family in a way I could never have dreamed up!!

EXTREME LOVE... For a Father in Heaven who knows what is so much better for me and our family than I could ever know myself... I am so thankful that he sees the bigger picture of what is best for us!!

EXTREME DESIRE... for the Lord to take my will and make it His... Even though at times I haven't always loved the way that things have happened in our life or even liked it one bit for that matter... My hearts desire is for my will to be right in line with what HE would have for our lives... Wooh... big challenge Lord take my desires and make them what you desire for us... !

EXTREME ANTICIPATION... For what the Lord is going to do in Uganda.... I feel like I may be beating a dead horse here... but my heart is on FIRE!!!  I feel the stirriing of the Lord doing a bigger work than what I see before me and I CAN NOT WAIT for it to unfold!!! 

EXTREME JOY... for the sweet sweet things He shows and teaches me each day through my kids, friends, those around me and those I can catch a glimpse of... Lord keep our eyes WIDE open to see and appreciate the wonder in all you have for us... help us to not be too busy to notice it!!!

EXTREME COMPASSION... Our hearts are moved for the fatherless... God's heart is...There is no other way to put it...  Yesterday Louis brought me a note saying..."Let's bring home another King or Queen!"  (You would have to watch the video I posted yesterday to fully understand that!)  Now while I KNOW FULL WELL that we can't just bring someone home with us from Africa...  BUT Our hearts know that God wants children in families... I know we just brought home this precious baby and he is SOOOOOO loved!  But truly as long as there are beds in our home or room for another bed, kids who need love and a family, and we feel God saying YES this is His plan His will for our family... how can we personally say no???  

A BIT OF ANXIETY... (Gotta be honest here!)  I hate flying... truly can't stand it... I know it is irrational, but it scares the snot out of me.... I am about to board a plane for close to 20 hours of flying... Any antianxiety ideas would be much appreciated!!!  And prayers for safe travel and peace would be even more appreciated... just keeping it real! 

TOTALLY LOVESTRUCK!!!  I just got off the phone with G... and let me just say... that man continues to crack me up... that was what first attracted me to him... his sense of humor.... I am so blessed to have him to walk through this crazy life and definitely love him more now than 19 1/2 years ago when I said "I do!"

SOME DISSAPPOINTMENT for the ways we have fallen short in 2012... fallen short of loving each other more... loving our neighbor better... serving with a joyful heart... how selfish we can be at times... and so much more... But Praise God for Jesus who forgives and wipes us clean so we can start afresh!!!

PERPLEXED AND REGRETFUL... at times for the state of some of our relationships... We continue to pray for the Lord to do a wonderous work in our hearts and in the hearts of others to allow all our relationships to be what HE would desire... That is our hearts greatest desire and we pray that He would give us the strength to keep persevering and doing what He would desire even when it is hard!!!


EXTREME GRATITUDE ... (I know that is the same thing as Thankfulness:)  for the way the Lord has provided for our family!  We, never in a million years would have thought that as a Pastor's family we could adopt 3 kids in 3 years... Have a family of 9 (so far) and never have a want for anything... We are soooooo abundantly blessed in the areas of provision.... Greg works so hard...And my dad says that I can stretch a buck further than anyone he knows, but I honestly believe in my heart the Lord mulitiplies His gifts... Every time Greg comes in the door with a paycheck he proclaims boldly, "The Lord's blessings!!!"  And they are! 

The Lord has recently knocked out socks off in providing for our trip to Uganda... We all have been working really hard with photo shoots, chaotic dinner divas days... but He has blown us away in using His people to encourage and support us and we are in AWE!  Thank you friends!!!


Obviously I could go on and on... But this song truly says it all for us as a family...

Never Once did He leave us in 2012 ... never once did He leave us during the death of our child... children for that matter... He didn't leave us during cancer... during extreme lonliness and sorrow... during uncertainties in adoption journeys... during the total joys of redemptive births and unexpected blessings and surprises...  He has been right by our sides... Never once leaving us on our own...

Anything good that we have done or that has happened in our lives has purely been from Him or by Him working in us!!  Totally the Lord!!

Even through all the struggles with the scars of the battleground of this world... (And trust me my heart still bears the scars of death, sadness... and quite honestly they are incredible reminders to me of the Lord's faithfulness and His power!!!) it brings me great happiness to be able to say with JOY

He has been right by our sides... Never once moving away... Remaining faithful through it all... carrying us each and every single step of the way!! 

One thing that battlefield of this life has taught us is that we don't know the plans that He has for us... We don't know what may be around the next corner of this life... And we know fully that He will carry us through 2013, never leaving our sides... He will sustain us with it's blessings and hardships...

We don't know what tomorrow holds but we know who holds tomorrow!!!  Honestly, we are excited for the journey and advertures that the Lord has for us in 2013! 

I know this was longwinded... that is me to a tee!  Thanks for hanging with me... But truly, I never tire of proclaiming the Lord's faithfulness in our lives!!!   Blessing on your 2013 friends...

May it be a year of His constant work and grace in our lives and a year of growing closer in relationship to our amazing Savior!!! 

"Never Once"Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Who will love the least of these???

Louis, Caleb and I were running to Walmart tonight for some errands... and this song came on the radio... We sat in the parking lot listening in detail to the words... EXTREMELY appropriate to our life right now with our Uganda trip RIGHT around the corner...

Please take a listen to it and let it challenge your heart to take notice of  " the least of these" that the Lord has maybe put into the path of your life...

My heart feels so broken wide open to what the Lord will teach and show me in Uganda... I CAN NOT WAIT to love on those children... I really have felt too that the Lord may have plans to use the loss of Samuel in my life as well when I am there... I know that there are probably loads of women there that have lost babies or children and I feel like God may be preparing me for the fact that He may open up doors in that part of my life as well over there... I can't wait to see it all unfold...

A few things for you to pray for...
The leader of our trip had some health scares that landed him in the ER this week... Praise God for a miraculous healing and a Dr. clearance to GO... Continued prayers for good health for him as he leads our group...

There is TONS AND TONS of illness going around here... loads of the flu, RSV, and just nasty stomach bugs and colds... Please pray for the Lord's protection of my family before and while we are gone regarding all of this illness... Praise God we are a VERY healthy family for the most part... It would give my heart great peace to know that the 5 little ones are still healthy when I leave...

That I would have clear wisdom from the Lord regarding if there are activities and such I shouldn't take the kids out to in the next couple of weeks before we leave... (I know I can't live in a bubble... but I would so appreciate the Lord knocking me over the head if I am walking right into a flu zone:)

I am planning a women's retreat that is taking place the weekend before we leave... needless to say... I feel a bit overwhelmed on that one right now... Please pray that all the details that need to come together do for that weekend for the ladies of our church!

And obviously most of all that the Lord would continue to prepare our hearts to serve Him best and the people best while we are there! 

Thanks friends!  Enjoy the song!:)

CHRISTMAS PART 2

 

Our first born son... handsome, loving kind... and even a little quirky at times... but that is why we love him!  He was all set for Christmas Eve service... There are many times he is called to be the man of the house for his mama when Greg can be so busy at work or even on holidays when church work demands G to be gone a lot... I rely on Louis and Caleb for so much and they rise to the occasion for the most part with joy!  I am so thankful for them!

 

This is so Jojo... Here he is trying out one of his Christmas gifts... Love this little turkey so much! 

 

Caleb and Levi trying out their new Christmas Jammies...

I love the traditions that the kids and I have started these past few years on Christmas Eve... Greg was able to join us again this year for IHOP after first service... Then he went back for late service and the kids and I came home for fondue, opening up their jammies and a movie... Daddy was pulling in just before the movie ended:)

 

We were expecting snow Christmas Day... possibly up to 8 inches (that never happened)  Our big van is AWFUL in snow and I just couldn't stand the thought of slipping off the road with a newborn, and 2 other little ones... So I stayed home with most of the kids and Greg went with Anna and Louis who sang "The First Noel" together in church that morning... I hated missing that... but felt it best not to try and brave the bad weather... (that never developed into anything:(... no white Christmas for us)

 

We had a beautiful laid back afternoon with waffles for brunch and opening presents afterwards... This year the big boys opted for money towards Africa... so they didn't have much to open... But with the 5 little kids stuff, also from both grandparents, the house was a disaster.  I think this was the first year that the mess didn't bother me one bit and that felt good... We had such a nice afternoon enjoying each other...  

 

Louis was fooling around with the Bokeh (I think that is how you spell it) on his camera... I love this picture from Christmas eve because he caught the baptismal font that was given in memory of Samuel... It is a very simple design with a really cool carved out rock on top.... Our holiday was so special and full great memories and special moments... but I can't help but wonder what kind of mess a four year old Samuel might be getting into and the laughs he would bring to the group... I also woke up Christmas morning, thinking about what Christmas must be like in Heaven... celebrating the birthday of Jesus... right there with Jesus himself...

I miss that sweet little boy:)

 

Praying you all had beautiful celebrations in your home:)

CHRISTMAS PART 1

 

This is the ornaments that Louis and Caleb received for Christmas... There is a tiny little heart right over the country of Uganda... It is so beautiful... Not sure why I didn't get one for myself and Greg to share... maybe next year:):) 

 

This year Hopie got a dollhouse (used but new to us)  She loved it!  And the funny thing is... it has been a big hit for all the kids Anna on down... especially Levi... he will sit and play with the little people and cars... I love when you get a present and it actually is a blessing to the family... When it makes lots of the little ones happy!  Love it!

 

Here is Levi... all tuckered out... He actually went was hanging out with Anna and fell right asleep on the floor:)  Such a sweet little doll!  Funny thing is Levi still has a couple of presents to open up... Christmas day he was more than enamored with the toys he got from Grandmas and Grandpas that we sort of thought why force him to open any more... Maybe in a few days he will get to the rest:)  But for now he is so happy playing with all the other things:)

 

Jojo and Anna opening up presents in their matching Christmas Jammies! 

 

Sweet little Isaiah enjoying all the Christmas commotion... he is starting to open those little eyes more... He is out of preemie outfits and diapers... sad face (happy he is growing:):)  sad it is happening so fast!!!)   You are looking at one of the best Christmas presents ever!!~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.  WE ARE PRAYING THAT AS YOU CELEBRATE THIS YEAR YOU ARE WELL AWARE OF OUR GOD'S GREAT LOVE FOR YOU...

 

SUCH A DEEP LOVE THAT HE SENT HIS ONLY SON TO BE BORN FOR YOU AND ME... TO RESCUE US FROM OUR SINS FOR ETERNITY... 

 

MUCH LOVE FRIENDS!

Snuggle time...

2 of my favorite little guys!!:)

 Levi is finally over his cold and fully able to snuggle with Isaiah... That is pretty much Levi's expression all the time with the littler guy... he is just so happy to see him and be by him...

AHHHH!  I am not sure there is a better warmer feeling...

Cuddling with one of the kids... It is the best!

 

I can not believe that tomorrow is already Christmas Eve...

I am looking forward to Christmas eve service, IHOP with friends, and time with the kids tomorrow night eating fondue, opening up new jammies, cuddling on the couch and watching a Christmas movie while Greg serves late into the night...

 

We miss dad on Christmas eve... but I finally feel like since Samuel's death, the last couple of years the kids and I have set some fun Christmas Eve traditions...

 

Looking forward to family time after church on Christmas day!  

26 DAYS AND COUNTING...

24 DAYS AND WE WILL BE UGANDA BOUND...

 

My heart can hardly believe it! 

 

I have to be completely honest... when I think of leaving my kids... I don't even want to go to that thought... When I think of leaving my precious newborn who took us by surprise about a month ago... ugh!!! 

 

But when I think of how confident I am in the fact that the Lord has called me to GO!  How can I say no???  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am supposed to GO!  Really, I kind of can't describe the feeling, not sure I have had it before... I felt clearly the Lord saying GO this past fall... and...

 

I know that I know that I know that this sweet little Isaiah's arrival

 DID NOT TAKE THE LORD BY SURPRISE...

even though it did us! 

 

I have total confidence in the fact that Greg will take off some work, my sister will come down and help for some time (Wow... I owe here BIG TIME!!! Beth, you and the hubby should go on a vaca before the next little one arrives... of course I can watch the kids!!!!) and my in laws will help when Greg takes off of work... I trust that they will be in great hands when I am gone...

 

I know some have been a little skeptical of my desire to GO... even expressed some not so supportive feelings... All I can say is that I can't say no to God... I had prayed before I made the plans to go... I have been praying since Isaiah's arrival that if I wasn't supposed to go that the Lord would make it abundantly clear!  And I haven't felt the Lord leading in that way at all...

 

In fact with each passing day my heart is filled with more excitement over the work that we will do there...

 

So in 24 days... my 2 oldest sons, my sweet niece, my rocking cousin, my  precious friend and I will converge in Texas to meet up with others in Europe to head to Uganda on the adventure of a lifetime...

 

I CAN.NOT.WAIT to see all that the Lord will show us, teach us... the ways that He will use us, change us, grow us... I.CAN.NOT.WAIT. to reach out to the orphans, widows, and street kids there with the love of my Savior!  I.CAN.NOT.WAIT.  to use the money, over $3000 that was raised at our church to provide for the needs of kids who need so much...

 

I know that my heart  is going to be broken in 2 for the people there... that is my prayer now for the boys and I, for all of us... that the Lord would break our hearts for the things that break his... And that we would be willing to do whatever He asks while we are there...

 

Please be praying for us if we come to mind over the next few weeks as we prepare... I can't wait to share this next step in our journey with you!  My God is so good!

The reality of a baby photo shoot:)

 

Louis and I were working pretty hard yesterday to try and catch some sweet little shots of baby Isaiah...

 

We got a lot of great ones... but this also is the reality of what we got...

a pretty good spit up shot, a wet bed and a VERY dirty blanket... so much for decent naked baby shots!:) 

 

I still find him incredibly irresistible spit up, poop and all!  What a gift!

It's beginning...

 

TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS AROUND HERE!

 

While I was in the hospital with Isaiah the family bought and decorated our Christmas tree!

 

They chose white lights because they knew that is what I like... that was sure sweet of them:)

 

Actually I think that they picked the best tree yet this year... perfectly shaped and very little rearranging of ornaments had to be done by me when I got back:)

 

Levi loves looking and touching the ornaments, but he has yet to actually knock one off the tree...  he has done so well with it... Even Isaiah likes to just lay and stare at the lights...

 

We are all adjusting great around here to the new little sweetie in the house...

HONESTLY, I can barely believe he is really here and ours! 

You go for so long just waiting and wondering and then BAM!!! Here he is...

 

I think Hope and Levi are finally nearing the end of their colds:) yay! Praise God!  We can relax a little with them getting too close to Isaiah! 

 

Levi today kissed Isaiah on the head over and over again... And Hope has learned the job of little mama from Anna quite well... You should hear the way she talks... really sweet!

 

I am sort of holding my breath knowing full well that with little ones making that adjustment, you just never know when they will be looking sweetly at the new baby one minute and pinching the next... but so far so good...

 

I hear we may be expecting a BIG snowstorm here next week... over 9 inches... Craziness... I would love a white Christmas:):)  We shall see!



GET ON THE CRAZY TRAIN... WE ARE ABOUT TO GET OFF:)

It has been non stop since we came home from the hospital with Isaiah... We are praising God for His protection of Isaiah from the colds that the other kids had when we came home... Thank you Lord for sparing him any sickness so far... I know it is only the beginning of the cold and flu season... But we are soooooo very thankful that he is doing so well...

We have had 2 sets of company... our missionary friends the Ferrel's and my parents and my sister's  kids...  We are expecting more company this week... (actually I think those plans just changed today and we may not get more company this week.


Our first MEND Christmas ceremony was beautiful last night... not a dry eye, I don't think... It was so very special to have a time to publically remember our little ones in Heaven... that is such a gift to me! We had 2 girls from our church do the music and it was beautiful... Our director worked soooooo hard to pull it all together and it turned out fantastic... I think it will be a yearly event for our chapter.  I was especially touched by a couple that had to have been in their 50-60's... they were there lighting candles in memory of their children that they lost in the 1970's... It just warmed my heart to know that 30-40 years later they still felt those lives worthy of honoring and remembering.  I KNOW that is how I will feel about Samuel, Joel (the baby we were going to adopt) and the baby we misscarried.  It was a special night!

Our ceremony was held the night that the shootings occured in CT... and I can't tell you how much my heart hurt for all of those parents and families whose lives were turned upside down that day.  I know each loss is different... but I can certainly relate.  The whole thing just makes me want to cry out with the love of Jesus to those people.  I am just praying so often that the Lord is sending just the right people to each of those families to be His hands and feet in the flesh in these hurting hours. 

We have our December Dinner Divas Class here tomorrow night... Can you say CRAZY TRAIN!!! It has been non stop... but we are about to get off that train and settle into just HANGING OUT and enjoying Christmas! And I am thrilled about it!

We hope to do some school the next 2 weeks and then take a week off with Greg after Christmas. 

Ok... that was a little catch up... Literally I need to find time to get some of November's pictures onto my computer... all I have are the ones I took at the hospital on my cell and a few that Louis took...

So I leave you with a sweet one of the new little guy!  So precious!

My heart swells...

 We are enjoying every second with this sweet little guy!

 :):)  It looks like he is raising his hand:)

 

 Isaiah has been the perfect unexpected Christmas present for our family!  We are praising God for knowing the perfect time to bring this little miracle into our family!

 

Come and gone in a flash

Jethro and Hope

(Typical Hope grin:)

 

 

 

The Ferrel's have come and gone in a flash...

The boys and I can't wait to be able to spend some more time with them and their son Jethro (adopted from Uganda) when we go in January.

 

They went on a short term trip with our sweet friend Abbi back in January 2011 and are now headed back the end of this month to be full time missionaries to the orphan and hurting people there...

We can't wait to serve alongside of them... Louis and Greg had met and spent a lot of time with them when they went last January... So it was fun for the rest of us to meet them in person!

 

Talk about easy people to love... I had never met them but really felt like I had known them all along... I know that sounds really cliche but it is so true... We even got to spend Sara's birthday with her yesterday... What a treat for us! 

 

Their story is an amazing one of how God has worked in their lives, moved mountains and taught them along in the waiting periods... Sweet Sweet People!

 

All the kids adored Jethro... talk about spunk and sweetness all wrapped up in one... He fit right in here:) 

 

We felt so honored to be able to have them in our home:)  Till we meet again in Uganda friends!~ 

We are home!!

We are praising God that we are home... all home in the same house...
Thanks be to God...

We arrived home to shortly be followed in the door by some missionary friends of ours from Uganda... What a treat to have them here... Their little guy is such a cutie pie... they adopted him from Uganda just this year... yummy little man!

God was so incredibly gracious during our time apart... but it feels right to all be here again...
 I will post some pics tomorrow of he little man...

It will be a busy day... the birthday of our friend staying with us... and Louis and Caleb informed me that they need to make 300 treat for the youths tea party on Sunday AND.... 9 dozen cookies with a friend for Sunday... HELLO BOYS!!! That is 408 cookies... They assured that they will do it all:):)  We shall see:)

I think Isaiah is going to learn to go with the flow off the bat... such a precious little peach!  Pics tomorrow!

He is ours!!!

We are praising God that this morning Isaiah's birthday voluntarily terminated his rights... 

We found out last night that the birth parents wanted to come for.a visit today... This was totally the best case scenario for today!! 

It is such a relief to have the what ifs removed... We all are thrilled.

Both birth mom and dad spent some time saying goodbye to Isaiah in the nicu and we got a precious picture of them with him to put in his baby book.  

We will have an open adoption so it was just goodbye for now... But you just never know how that will all pan out so we are so thankful to have pictures of them for Isaiah's sake... 

For some reason I can't upload a picture from this iPad so I will try to that as soon as we are home:). He is Beyond precious!  Speaking of going home...

The doctor said to plan on tomorrow sometime...  Hopefully that won't change for any reason... He is rooming in with me today and tonight... It is so nice to have him in here... I pretty much spent all of my time in the nicu even when he was in the isolette or under the bili lights... So this afternoon he just hung out with me and I picked up. It is so SWEET to have him with me... So nice to be off the monitors... That alone makes me feel more relaxed!!

Thank you for all of your prayers... We are so thankful to our gracious God for this precious gift!!

The roller coaster of nicu

This is something I typed a few days ago... But I figured that I would post it anyways... I will try to post tomorrow about how he is doing now... :). We are making progress and hopefully won't be too much longer:)
Here is my post from Sunday...

This is typical...

I so appreciate ALL of the doctors and nurses... But so much seems subjective in here.

Here is how it went today...Sunday night...

Nurse practitioner comes in... Seems not super happy with how Isaiah is doing... She says he needed to each 35 cc's of milk... If I nurse him for 20 minutes, he still needs to eat 35 cc's from the bottle after... If I don't nurse at all still 35 cc's... Clearly I have milk... I have been nursing Levi... So we KNOW he is getting it...  So she wouldn't at all take into account that they work harder at nursing and being a preemie would tire out more easily than normal and wouldn't maybe take 35 after nursing... She even talked about the possibility of a feeding tube even though he has gone from like 15 cc's to 40 cc's sometimes... It just seemed weird...  I said lets just do bottles for a few feeds and see what he takes...then I could pump... He took 38 cc's with no problem.  Then her nurse friend said we might be here another week...

Then the regular doctor came in an hour later and said he was doing great... Just needs to keep progressing... He even said we could take him off the lights tonight but decided to keep him on one more day... He said we are nearing the end...:):):):)

It is just crazy how they can have such different opinions of the same baby... I appreciate all of their help TONS!!! It can just be hard at times... You have the normal emotional rollar coaster of adoption then add the nicu rollar coaster... lord help me!!!!
Still amidst it all.... SO VERY THANKFUL!!!

OVERCOME...

Tonight I am totally overcome with so many different emotions...

This morning Isaiah's precious birth mom terminated her rights as his mother...
We are overcome with gratefulness for her amazing sacrificial gift to us!  We are overcome with feelings of admiration for her...for her loving Isaiah enough to give him the best she could...a stable loving family...

There are so many ways that adoption stretches you... each experience is so different and grows you differently... Ohhhhh... that stretching can be so uncomfortable... there are moments of worry, fear, bliss, total joy and excitement... Even though I have trusted God fully with this journey, I am still human and have felt all of those feelings over the past week... I know that God's will is going to be done... But I also know the reality that sometimes how that all plays out hurts and isn't maybe what I would desire...

Today we had lunch together... It was amazing... She was so sweet.  She had a beautiful bracelet for me and some blankets for Isaiah.  She even he an extra devotional book for me... We were so touched by these gifts... So so touched...

We talked and talked over lunch... She had a friend with her who was with her the day we met her a week ago... Sweet sweet woman as well...  Both girls were incredibly easy to talk to and we learned so many new things about her that we will be able to share with Isaiah someday.  We cracked up!!  The stories that she shared with us are priceless.  She is so witty, funny, yet brutally honest... I loved that about her...

From all she shared our hearts were again SO DEEPLY touched by all that she has gone though.  My heart just hurt for her and her friend.  We always pray for the birthmoms of our children... even before we are chosen... But I absolutely love that now I know her by name and know enough about her to be able to pray for specific needs.  Sometimes I feel so naive to the lives that some have... She was so strong and brave...

We are praising God that we are one HUGE step closer or making him ours forever!!!

I am overcome by the goodness of our God to give us such amazing gifts... This little Isaiah is a miracle and we  can't wait to hopefully bring him home in a few more days.... There are some VERY VERY excited spunky kids waiting to snuggle and love on him...

Mountain mover:)

This morning I walked down the street a couple of blocks for church...

I was overcome with emotions... As I was singing...
Savior, he can move the mountains
My God is mighy to save... He is mighty to save...
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave... Jesus conquered the grave...

I was totally struck by the fact that I ultimately want to see this precious little Isaiah in Heaven... That is my biggest hearts desire... OBVIOUSLY I want him to go home with me... But that totally comes second... I want him to be saved!!!  Please God save this precious little guy....

I was so thankful that God conquered the grave so that someday I WILL see my Samuel again!!!

I ultimately, I know that my Savior can move the mountains and will to accomplish what he wants to in this little guys life...

If you think of it would you please pray for me.. Today was a very hard day... I had hours tonight where I literally was begging for peace... Waiting while I could be with not be with him...  It is hard waiting for the call that you got chosen by a birth mom and then you wait again with emotions HIGH until you know if he will FULLY be your forever child... Honestly, I am at the worn out point tonight... A bit weary...  I am now just watching him in the warmer and Under the lights...

I told the agency rep tonight that although they would recommend guarding your heart and I even said I should yesterday... I am realizing... That is just not me... I can't really do it... (We experienced that same thing with Hope, to a degree) This little guy deserves to be loved FULLY, held tight, kissed, loved on, spoken to sweetly, cuddled... All of it... And he is gonna get it from me regardless of what the birthmom decides to do... Everything seems fine but... You just never know...... Ahhhh... Lord grant me peace and patience... And I know he is yours Father!!!

I was SO VERY BLESSED to have 2 precious friends come see us today... These girls are like family... We laughed because at this point only our immediate family can come in to see him... We were saying they are family to us here... aunt Shelley and aunt Nikki... They could catch a good look but not touch him... More importantly I got some time with them... Such a blessing to my heart.  As usual we had some good laughs and I NEEDED it!    I love those girls for making the trek to come pass time  with me and to come encourage my heart:):) So thankful for that tonight... :)

Immeasurably more...

I wrote a post about our meeting with our birth mom...  Waiting for the appropriate time to share it...

Here is the update on Isaiah...

We are still in the nicu...
Still under the phototherapy lights.
Still in the isolette ( although when I talked with the doctor tonight, he thought we would be able to take him off both tomorrow.  His iv is out and he is eating great:). We may be talking of a discharge time  frame of 24-48 hours... But we will see... Things change often...

He is ADORABLE!  Anna and jojo loved seeing him today... They got to come in and hold him.  To totally and utterly melted this mama's heart.  The older boys had already made commitments near home and couldn't make it... They were sad about that.  Little man is nursing great for a preemie.  I keep reminding myself that he is God's little guy... Not ours yet... As much as I totally love him already... I need to try to guard my heart... Really I am more of a throw yourself in and deal with the repercussions and heartbreak later if need be.  He has a good disposition.  It is such a treat to spend as much time as I can with him... I am trying to just soak him up.  If all goes well, I know life at home will be fairly busy, just because it just is with 7 kids...so I am treasuring the quiet peaceful moments:):):)

With any adoption case it is sort of like holding your breathe... Even if things look GREAT?.. You just never know... We had a couple of moments in the past couple of days that were nerve wracking... But God was so faithful...

 He has just been knocking my socks off with one sweet thing after another. We were pretty desperately trying to find a place for me to stay... I knew if I stayed at the hotel, it would be somewhat expensive and I would have to get a cab back and forth each day...  I had one nurse figure out how I could a room here and today they even moved me to a nicer room where I could get meals... They went above and beyond:) What a blessing...  Yesterday our agency rep didn't want me to be alone ... We had one of those uncertain times and praise God, I had a local friend discover that i was close to her so she came up to hang with me.... What a sweet distraction and gift to me!!!  And last night I was blessed to go out to eat with the agency director...she is amazing!!! Truly AMAZING!  It was like my cup was just being filled over and over again up by sweet people  being the hands of feet of Jesus to me and I am so grateful!  The Lord was certainly doing immeasurably more than I could ask for...

I have so much to share... But too much that I can't share online at this point.  Keep the prayers coming.... We really appreciate them...