There is a certain situation I have been struggling with for so long...
Lots of efforts have been made towards working towards healing...
Yet, the actual healing of this relationship seems elusive...
My heart hurts for I KNOW this can't be the Lords will...
Would you pray with me for the Lord to perform a miracle...
For Him to have His own way... For us and others to be moldable clay in the potters hands...
For willing hearts who are willing to do the hard work that restoration takes...
I just can't shake this need... That this has to be Gods work...not mine...
Thanks for praying friends...
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Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp
the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through
the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem
distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
OUR GROWING FAMILY... GROWING DAY BY DAY, BY GOD'S GRACE...
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About Me
- Sara
- OKLAHOMA, United States
- I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday. We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013. This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father... Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.
Followers
SAMUEL'S NAME IN THE SAND
A FAVORITE PICTURE OF OUR FIRST 5
ME AND MY HONEY
OUR LOUIS
OUR CALEB
OUR ANNA
OUR JOJO
OUR SAMUEL...SAFE IN HEAVEN
Baby Joel safe in Heaven
OUR SWEET BABY GIRL
Levi... our miracle through embryo adoption
Our Isaiah
Please Be Gentle By Jill B. Englar
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask 'why?'
At times, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey,
not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story,
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp
the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through
the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem
distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart,
and shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
Remembering
Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about
hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal
by releasing the tears
that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about
hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal
by releasing the tears
that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~
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6 comments:
You are doing everything you can. And that's all you can do. Turn it all over to God...all of it...the confusion, the hurt, the questions. Give it all to Him and stop thinking about it. He has His reasons. Even though they don't seem to line up with what you think should happen....He has His reason. Praying for you, Sara. Give it all to Him. Love you!
You are doing everything you can. And that's all you can do. Turn it all over to God...all of it...the confusion, the hurt, the questions. Give it all to Him and stop thinking about it. He has His reasons. Even though they don't seem to line up with what you think should happen....He has His reason. Praying for you, Sara. Give it all to Him. Love you!
YES SARA, I will pray. I know the complexity of relationships.....I am also seeking the Lord for healing in a few of mine. I will pray, I don not know details but my Jesus dose and he will help you. You have such a beautiful heart!
Praying sweet friend, I know He hears your desperate cries for help and peace! Hugs from the Boggs bunch!!
Praying sweet friend, I know He hears your desperate cries for help and peace! Hugs from the Boggs bunch!!
I have a similar relationship. I'm so sorry, Sara.
I have reached out too and prayed. But received no response. I have written an email but not sent it- it did help my feelings of anger and sorrow.
I will pray. God is before this too and he holds it in his loving hands.
love you!
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