MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE HINTZ CREW TO YOURS:)

We have had a fun last couple of days! Yesterday we went to church at 5:00... of course we didn't get dinner before we left. Greg had left earlier in the day and had 2 more services to do later. After church, my sweet pregnant friend from our small group said she was craving breakfast for dinner... I asked where they were going... and she revealed IHOP... OH MY... YUMMO!!

(After I delivered Louis 13 1/2 years ago, our sweet friends in Texas, Chris and Mary, called the hospital and said, "You name it, we will bring it to you to eat..." I chose a double order of IHOP hashbrowns... ) Well, last night that sounded pretty good to this pregnant mama!

So we joined the Davis' for some IHOP after church... we had a ball! I have never done anything like that on Christmas eve... but I think a new tradition may have been born:) I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to take the kids to McDonalds on Christmas Eve... but I wasn't really up for cooking either. I had gotten today's meal all ready yesterday... and was wiped out... and hadn't thought ahead to take anything out of the freezer.

Then the kids and I went home, they each opened up a small snuggly item, like Jammy pants, socks or a fleece blanket and we snuggled up on the couch and watched Miracle on 34th Street... then we took a break for some chocolate fondue and some sparking Cider. I really wanted this year to be a year for me to start some Christmas Eve traditions with them, while Greg was still at work. The last couple of years I really was just trying to get through Christmas after losing Samuel... this year felt different and it was nice. I think the kids really liked it too.

Louis stayed up and helped me clean up he house... and Greg rolled in around 1:30 am and we all went to bed:) I was readyfor bed... and wasn't quite ready for church this morning:) But we all made it there:)

Then after church we did present with the kids... we usually do 3 presents per child... just like the 3 wise men so it isn't too crazy... It was really nice and then we had a nice meal together... the whole family. I feel so blessed today... I will post in a couple days about one of our favorite gifts this year:)... hmmmm a hint... it is growing bigger everyday:)

At the same time as we had such a precious day together today... my heart is hurting. I hurt for all of those that I know are hurting today... who have lost a loved one... who are losing marriages...

Would you please pray for precious friends of ours who are near the end of the rope as far as their marriage goes.... We have been and will continue to pray for a miracle for them. Even though good news hasn't come... we will continue to pray! My heart hurts knowing that Holidays can be soooo hard when your heart is broken in two.

Thanks for praying for them...

Much love to you this Christmas Day!

Done with cooking... not really:)

Jojo was a big helper with the lasagnas:)

Have to take a quick break from all the cooking to do a little dancing:)

Oh no... the neighborhood dogs are starting to smell the food:)

Hope is getting all tuckered out and ready for a nap.

Caleb is the taco soup man:)

I am absolutely thrilled to have 24 meals in the freezer. We cooked for quite a while on Saturday and everyone helped, except for Hope. For some reason I think just having the meals made lowed my blood pressure. No, I am kidding, but really it lightens the burden I feel in my head. Now even my kids can get out a meal with out any help and everyone will fed:)

We also found out we will be getting a little bit of company over Christmas break. Greg's parents will come up for a few days and some dear friends from our time at the sem are coming. Yay, what a perfect distraction and fun time that will be to have them all here.

Besides those couple of things... life is just moving on here. Most schools are off this week, but not us:) I want to make sure we have time to take in Spring when the baby arrives, Lord willing. I rather have an extra week then, rather than take 2 now, when we don't really need it. I am 25 1/2 weeks now... I can hardly believe it... Really it is going by pretty fast... I actually bought a little sleeper for the little guy the other day. I went back and forth on if I should get it... the kids were all for it, and helped me pick it out. Really, sometimes I am STILL completely in awe that the Frozen Embryo Transfer worked... that I am allowed this precious gift and opportunity to have another child.

So the only cooking to get done is a couple kinds of cookies and the kids are begging for Grandma Deena's rolls, pigs in a blanket, and cinnamon rolls. Thankfully it is all the same dough, you just divide it out. I would love to have some of those frozen for when company is here. We will see if it happens. I get sort of lazy, and love to have the majority of the cooking done, so we can just hang out and visit.

Praying you all have a very blessed Christmas!

HE'S GOT THE HOOTSPA:) and an update on my bp

DISCLAIMER: I literally am falling asleep at the keyboard... so I make no promises on if this sounds correct, is spelled correctly or any of it...

I posted these pictures because honestly, I couldn't resist. He just makes me smile, laugh and be filled with joy. Today he told me he loved my little tiny buns....Excuse me???? I just had to crack up, because I think the extra calories I am intaking are heading right there these days:)

Jojo as well as his little sister are downright filled with the hootspa. Did you know that the word hootspa is making a come back? My family has always used this word... I have had many friends laugh at me, and then during the last Olympics, I had a friend call me because one of the sportcasters used the work HOOTSPA to describe someones gymnastic routine... that made me laugh.

My blood work all came back fine this week. I was so thankful and really I have felt much better in general the last couple of days. I do think my immunity in general must not be up to par or it may just be my age, I don't know.... but... I have had sooooo many little aches and pains this go around. Am I complaining at all??? NO WAY!!! I am thrilled. But it is odd how I have had a lot of different little ailments that I haven't ever even had in my life. I saw Doctor W on Wednesday and I almost wanted to call again on Friday about something else.

This is very much not like me. I am usually as laid back as they come and am not a worrier by nature. I am thankful that I didn't call... I felt much better today. I don't' want to pester them... but don't want to possibly ignore something either. It is a fine line for me.

Well, I must hit the hay... we got 24 meals in the freezer today... with the help of everyone, but Hope of course...she just made trouble while we all tried to work with her underfoot:) Anyways, I know it will be well worth it when I can pull a meal out and not even have to lift much more than a finger. ... It was exhausting... but fun at the same time. I will try to post some pictures tomorrow.

By the way, Thanks for your prayers for my bloodpressure!

A LITTLE UPDATE ON BABY BOY

LOUIS TOOK AND EDITED BOTH OF THESE PICTURES... I THINK I LOVE THEM BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THE KIDS ARE TRYING TO SKI... I HAVE GREAT MEMORIES OF SKIING UP NORTH WHEN I WAS A KID:)

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD A MONTHS FREE TRIAL OF LIGHTROOM ON LINE. LOUIS DID THAT AND HAS BEEN HAVING A BALL WITH IT:)

Well, I am sitting here eating leftover Mexican food. Yesterday I was blessed to have lunch with a newer girl from M.E.N.D. It was so nice to talk about Samuel and Brooke and how their impact on our lives have affected the holidays. My heart just hurts for her knowing that the first Christmas was the hardest for us... but she is making it and I am so proud of her.

I just got back from an unexpected Doctor's appt. Last week I just felt like my blood pressure was up. I have been hitting Walmart to check on it over the last couple of weeks and it has consistently been high. After I sit there for about 10 minutes it will always come down. That is a good thing, but it still bothers me that it is high to start off with.

I wasn't surprised when it was high when I went in today. It is just too early to be high. I love my doctor. He ordered some blood work to be done and will call me with the results tomorrow hopefully. He said at this point, he wasn't too concerned. I asked if I needed to stop doing housework yet? (jokingly of course:) He said no, not at this point, but that might be down the road a little bit.

I have kind of decided I really need to lighten up what I am doing around the house. I just stopped teaching Sunday School, which will be good for now. And when I came home the older 2 boys said, "Mom, we decided that you need to stay in bed and can help us with school from your bed... and we will make breakfast and lunch and do the cleaning." I almost fell over. They can be the sweetest kids, and I don't doubt at all that they could keep things going just fine around here.

I don't think that I will hit the bed:), but maybe will make a concerted effort to hit the couch and put my feet up some more. Greg and I did talk about getting some meals in the freezer this weekend. As silly as that may sound, just to know that they could pull out a meal and throw it in the oven would ease my mind a lot.

Dr. W. did say that he feels confident that we will be able to get this little guy to a safe point to deliver, even if it is earlier than expected. We set an appt. to see the high risk doctor on a regular basis starting in 2 weeks.

Would you all please pray that my blood pressure would be under control, that the doctors would have wisdom in recognizing anything out of the ordinary that needs to be addressed, and that my heart will be calm:) Would you also pray that this baby boy continues to grow strong and healthy each day. And most importantly, that God's will would be done in his little precious life. I so appreciate it!

A YEAR AGO TODAY...

A YEAR AGO TODAY WE GOT A PHONE CALL AROUND 10 AM ....
ASKING IF WE COULD PICK UP THIS PRECIOUS PUMPKIN LATER IN THE DAY...
(this was her first car ride home with us... I think she was worn out from having had quite a day)

WAS THIS THE ANSWER TO OUR PRAYERS???

OUR HEARTS WERE OVERJOYED... AND A BIT ANXIOUS TOO:)

SO THAT'S WHAT WE DID...

PILED THE KIDS IN THE CAR,

RAN TO WALMART FOR A CARSEAT...

AND HIT THE TRAIL TO DRIVE 2 HOURS TO PICK UP OUR NEWEST DAUGHTER...

AS MY HEART REFLECTS OVER THE LAST YEAR WITH OUR HOPE... MY HEART IS SO GRATEFUL TO OUR GRACIOUS GOD!

SHE IS THE ANSWER TO MANY HUNDREDS OF PRAYERS...

SHE IS ONE OF THE GREAT DELIGHTS OF MY HEART...

SHE IS A TRUE GIFT AND BLESSING FROM OUR GOD!

THANK YOU LORD FOR OUR HOPE JUBILEE...

Samuel's garden... a gift

This is a picture of the gift that my parents had made for us to put in Samuel's garden. I love the little boy figurine with the bird resting in his hand. It continues to remind me that if the Lord will watch over even the Sparrow, how much more so will he care and watch over our family.

I love the plaque that they had made. This may all sound a bit strange to you, but here goes... I still feel 100% at peace with having had Samuel cremated... it was totally the right choice for us... given especially that we didn't know if we would even be living here 8 mos. after he died. I just couldn't bury him and leave him here.

I love that we have a garden planted for him right in our yard, with a bench where we can sit, cry, think and talk to God. I often lay on the bench, staring up at the sky and ponder... What is my son doing right now in Heaven... what does he look like, Who does he know up there? Whenever I look at the big vast sky my thoughts go right to him. Right now the garden looks pretty sad... all dead and empty... but I know come Spring it will be beautiful again... Ahhhh new life!

For some reason the plaque makes our little area for Samuel more official in my eyes. I can see his name right there in front of me, in print, permanant... I LOVE THAT.... PERMANANT... He is a permanant part of our family... even though he is rarely mentioned by others... The plaque reminding me that nothing will ever separate me from God's love...for the love He had for Samuel and has for each one of us... This gift meant so much to me, especially coming from my parents.

I came across this post on facebook today... not that I am really a fan of facebook ... but I found this quote and it struck me as so very true...

If you know someone who has lost a child, and you are afraid to mention it to them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died-- You are not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you are reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift... Elizabeth Edwards....

LOOK WHO IS SAYING HI:)

HERE IS OUR SWEET LITTLE GUY GIVING A WAVE TO YOU ALL:)

I just got off the phone with my sweet (blog in real life:) friend Tonya at www.tonyatalk.blogspot.com What a sweet conversation we had. I absolutely treasure and am so very thankful for the friends I have made through the loss of Samuel. These are friends that truly understand the road I have walked and continue to walk as we expect this precious little miracle next March. It was just nice to receive encouragement and understanding from someone who has lived it too. (She just had Matthew back in July, and had lost Grady not quite 2 weeks after we lost Samuel) I think back to my brief, but oh so special visit with her and Ebe last January on our way home from Florida... She was so brave to take on my crew and I for a night, when we had never met in person... I will always treasure the memories of that special night we had getting to meet in person.

So much is going on here with Christmas and church activities, yet at the same time I am thrilled that we are not making any more travel plans. As much as I LOVE spending some of the Christmas time with family in far away states... I am a bit worn out this go around and I treasure the fact that of not planning another vacation, leaves us with so much more time just to focus on Christmas, Jesus' birth and being together. The older boys did remind me before bed that tomorrow morning is St. Nick's and that Jojo was expecting some surprises in his stocking in the morning.

I am the world's most boring stocking stuffer... Nuts, an orange, apple and pomegranate, and a few chocolates... I must confess I ate Hope's pomegranate tonight, is that bad or what??? ... I am kind of hoping she won't notice... it would have been far too messy and I think she can share off the older kids... I just had such a craving:)

As far as new little baby boy goes... he does have a name... we both love. And I am thrilled with it. I love calling him by name. I am not sure if I will share it on the blog till he arrives but who knows:) We had an ultrasound last Thursday and all looks great. He was measuring just a couple days larger than expected. I don't know why, but in my head I am just thinking... grow baby boy grow!!! I am at about 23 weeks and feeling more consistent movement... He is usually pretty quiet in the morning and that can be a bit unnerving (as that was just what happened with Samuel when I first noticed no movement) but usually within a couple of hours he starts to get busy in there and I love that:)

Please know that I often think of those still trying to conceive and my heart just aches for them. I know how easily this Frozen embryo transfer could have turned out differently for us. I do not take a day for granted while this little one is safe , healthy and alive inside of me. I know that God is sovereign and I trust Him and His plans, but I know too how hard it is for one to sit by and watch person after person, many of which aren't even trying to conceive, announce their pregnancies so carefree like, and be blessed with healthy babies, as your heart is longing for the same.

Life is hard... I get that. A few things I am thinking about with this little one.

My heart is rejoicing that we have made it this far. I think about our embryo donor mom so often. I am so incredibly thankful for her gift to us. I know that I can't fully comprehend all that she must feel in regards to this little guy. But I also wonder if she can fully comprehend what this little boy means to us all ... how much we love him already... how often the kids and G and I thank God for him in our prayers... Sometimes I feel like my heart could explode that God has blessed us with this miracle gift. I am just so grateful.

While there is such excitement in our home, there is still fear. I know that fear is not from the Lord. It has been a while since I have had a moment of heart gripping fear. God has been faithful to calm my heart. At the same time there is the constant struggle of balancing the hope with reality. Louis asked me a couple of weeks ago if we were going to get down all of the baby stuff, and the bassinet. He didn't want to have to put it all away if for some reason this baby didn't come home to live with us. (Since we had hoped to adopt, and didn't know if we would get a drop off newborn, I never put the baby clothes up in the attic. It is all clean and in little containers in Anna and Hope's closet. So all that needs to be done, is to put the baby girl clothes away and wash up the boy stuff)

I struggled with knowing how to answer Louis. Part of me knows we have bags already packed for the hospital, that we had just in case we got a call from the adoption agency. (Is that bad that I never officially unpacked those?) And that after the baby arrives Greg can easily get all the other stuff down at a moments notice. Then, there is the other part of me that wants to do it up big... paint the extra bedroom, get it all set as a nursery. I have such mixed up feelings at times. I am a very practical person and know that Hope is still in the crib so practically speaking she may still be in it when this guy arrives... so that may all have to wait... See can you tell how back and forth I am:)

Well, I will leave you with a verse, I don't think I have posted before... I have clung to this verse for the last couple of years... hoping that some day it would apply to me...

ISAIAH 43:19

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

There have been so many times of feeling surrounded by the wilderness and wasteland in the last 2 years. Praise God he is doing new things in our hearts and lives... He is growing this new baby... totally separate from Samuel... totally separate from Joel... totally separate from our adoption journey with Hope. But yet they are all a part of what He has walked with us through these past 2 years. They are all a part of the story He is weaving throughout our family. Tonight I am so thankful for these streams of water in the wasteland... God is good! He always is... regardless of what is going on around us.

THE HUNT... THE PRIZE

Here is my honey's big buck. We made sure this year to get up north in time for opening day for gun season. It had been 2 years since he last hunted. This year the trailer that the men usually stay in was replaced with a small cabin my dad had built...

Gone are the days of opening the door to enter the trailer, only to be greeted by squirrels making a run for it:)

Gone are the days of no showers and using an outhouse in freezing cold weather. (The crazy thing is Greg still insisted on using the outhouse... fond memories I guess???)

Gone are the days of no girls allowed... I found it kind of humorous that back in my Tomboy days, I begged my dad to let me go hunting with the guys, only to be told I was either not old enough, I wouldn't like all the things the guys did, or I just wasn't able to go... now my brothers daughters are up there for deer camp... I am sure I could go now:) But really I would rather not at this point:) I much prefer to stay home with the little ones:)

I was so happy for Greg. He has never gotten a buck like this and he may never again. Caleb was with him when he shot it. Louis was in a tree stand with my dad.When Greg came back to my parent's house, he got another deer right out of the back yard. It was so funny. Jojo could see Greg in his orange just out in the woods a bit. He sat and watched his daddy for a good 15 minutes until I think he got a little bored. So we are set as far as meat goes for the year. Really I consider that a huge blessing. With the right seasoning or marinade, I can pretty much guarantee you would never know it wasn't beef.

They had a total ball being up there. And I am so glad that they had the time together and the time just to be with the other fellas, and gals:)

I know if you didn't grow up with hunting as a part of your life it may seem gross, or somewhat mean. But I grew up with hunting as a part of my dad's and brothers lives... so to see the deer hanging, help package the meat, see the bucks mounted really seems totally normal to me.

But this is where I draw the line... THAT DEER HEAD WILL NOT BE HANGING ABOVE MY BED... LIKE GREG IS THREATENING TO DO:) I told him his office was a good choice, the boy's bedroom, or up at the new hunting cabin:) We shall see.

I had an ultrasound yesterday.... I will try to update tomorrow with maybe a picture or 2 of the sweet little guy!

RANDOM THOUGHTS AND REQUESTS:)

Greg playing horsey with the little girls:)

I always think Izzi looks like a little elf (I mean that in a totally good way:)... she is so petite and precious:)

Anna and Sara Beth


I was a complete slacker over the Thanksgiving holidays as far as taking pictures goes. We did grab a few of the kids with my sister Beth's kids from Boston. Since my parents live right next door to my 2 brothers there were up to 16 kids running around but only my sister's family and her 4 kids, and our family actually stayed with my parents. It made for a ton of fun for the kids...and a lot of busyness that is for sure.

Thanks to my sister's planning we were able to actually get all 5 of us siblings and spouses together for dinner out. Louis and a couple of the older girls watched the little ones for us. I can't tell you how nice it is to have a child old enough to babysit. At the same time, it makes me a little sad that I have one that old... I know that sounds crazy. We had a lot of good laughs over dinner... it was just nice to be together. My sister and I rarely get home at the same time, so when we do, it is a treat. She is a great listener:)

My parents had a really nice gift made for Samuel's garden. I will need to go out there and get a picture and then post about it. It meant so much to me for them to do that for us in memory of Samuel.

I had an absolutely delightful night out for tea with my college roommate Samantha. She has been one to TOTALLY hang with me over the last 2 years... she is always reminding me that her boots are still on for the stormy weather we may face at any time. She never tires of hearing what I have to say. We had a lot of time to talk about what is new with her, and she is so intuitive... she asked lots of questions about how I am doing with being pregnant again after Samuel. She knows how absolutely overjoyed I am, but yet understands the fears that can also be involved after losing a child full term. It was so nice for me to be able to talk freely, and be real about ALL the feelings I am experiencing as a part of this pregnancy. I love you my sweet friend Sam:)

As far as feelings... I think we have got a name... pretty sure that is. I am not sure the kids all love it... but that is why they will get to name their kids. Greg and I love the meaning behind why we may name this baby boy these names.... I am not sure we will actually share it before the birth or not. It is funny, this is the first time we have actually known the sex, so it is a bit different. This little pumpkin is moving more and I just love it. It sets my heart at ease, and truly, I feel like when I feel him move... my heart falls more and more in love with him. I am 22 weeks today and that would make it about 16 weeks until we can meet him unless we have a reason to meet him earlier. I know 16 weeks seems like a ton, but my heart rejoices that we are getting closer. This may sound crazy but I always breath a sigh of relief at 24 weeks, viability, when this little guy would have a chance of surviving if born. I am also thrilled that we are so close to the holidays... It always makes these couple of months go by so quickly.

I want to cherish the moments and memories with my family... but I would be lying if I didn't say... that I just plain can't wait to get to Spring when hopefully we will meet this precious little gift God has blessed us with.

I have a prayer request for you... I don't know why I didn't post it right away... I was totally a lazy blogger while up north...

While we were up in Wisconsin, my sister in law Katy's niece Brienna was in a really serious car accident. She was actually outside of her vehicle at the time and was hit by a drunk driver who was going 50 mph. She was hit and thrown 50 feet. The driver fled the scene, but thankfully was caught by police later that night. It is a TOTAL miracle that Brienna survived and she is doing miraculously well. She did have lots of facial lacerations, some broken bones and some bleeding on her brain. She will require a lot of therapy and some more surgeries. She is only 18 years old. The Lord is clearly using this to draw her and her family closer to Himself... but I know it is going to be a long road. Would you please pray for her physical healing and that the Lord would sustain her through the months ahead... where I know there will be many difficult times. Thank you so much for lifting her up to our Heavenly Father.

Soooo Thankful:)

You may think that this is a pre Thanksgiving post... it could be, but that will have to come later.
Right now, I just wanted to quickly update you all that I passed that crazy kidney stone.


I literally had just gotten off the phone with the nurse at my OB's office and she was saying that I should go to urgent care if I needed anything stronger than Tylenol for the pain and to make sure that is what it really was, a kidney stone. I was thinking.... "Hmmmm, I am not a big medication kind of gal, especially pregnant, and I KNOW this is a kidney stone:)"

Probably 5 minutes later, I went to the bathroom and had one ZINGER of a pain... and thought I better check in the toilet... and there she was ( Sorry, I know, probably TMI)

I am just so thankful that I was able to pass it... Yes it was uncomfortable and hurt, but really, this is the 2nd one I have passed and praise God, it isn't THAT bad for me... I remember an friend of mine once saying that he was in the hospital on a morphine drip when he passed a kidney stone the size of a grain of salt. My guess is mine was about almost a 1/2 cm... Honestly, I think it is by the grace of God that they don't hit me nearly as hard as they do many other people.

Don't get me wrong, I don't look forward to doing that again anytime soon:)

Thanks so much for your prayers... the last one took me a month to pass, and this was just a few days... So very thankful for that today!

I will try to post some pics soon of the kids with cousins...:)

SHE'S GROWN UP BEFORE MY EYES...

I LOVE THIS PICTURE THAT LOUIS TOOK OF ANNA!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE TURNED EIGHT A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO...

I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER AFTER I GAVE BIRTH TO HER, JUST BEING TOTALLY IN AWE THAT I HAD A DAUGHTER... THAT TEA PARTIES, SHOPPING, AND NAIL PAINTING WOULD ACTUALLY BE IN MY FUTURE. I WAS ALMOST SURE THAT SHE WAS GOING TO BE A BOY.

GOD HAS GROWN HER INTO SUCH A SWEETHEART. I CAN'T WAIT TO EXPERIENCE THE REST OF HER LIFE HERE WITH HER:)

I LOVE THAT GOD IS THE ONE TO CHOOSE EXACTLY WHO IS GROWING IN THERE.

G AND I ARE STILL REALLY BATTING AROUND A LOT OF NAMES FOR THIS LITTLE GUY GROWING INSIDE OF ME. WE HAVE NOT COME TO ANY DECISIONS. ALL OF HIS FAVORITES I AM NOT SURE ABOUT AND LIKE WISE WITH THE NAMES THAT I LIKE.... BUT I THINK WE HAVE A FEW THAT WE BOTH LIKE... WE WILL SEE!

WE ARE GONE FOR A FEW DAYS... BUT WILL BE RETURNING HOME SOON...

I BELIEVE I HAVE A STONE ON THE MOVE

UGH!!!! I am pretty much sure that I have a kidney stone on the move...

At first I thought it was a UTI... but after all my natural remedies and being on an antibiotic for over 24 hours... not much has changed. The only other time that I have had where my body didn't respond to the remedies and an antibiotic was when I passed the kidney stone early in the morning... the day I found our I was pregnant with Samuel.

I just wanted to throw it out here on the blog so that you all could pray... We are out of town, and it is making it a bit hard to fully enjoy all the relatives:) Please pray that it would move quickly, (I am drinking so much water, I feel like I might float away:) that it won't be too big to pass on my own... and most of all that this precious little guy inside of me will be protected.

By the way... I am finally feeling him move a lot more....:) I love it, it melts my heart completely... I have thought I have been feeling him move the last 4 weeks... but just such tiny movements... now I am getting bigger ones:) Yay!

This may sound crazy (totally different than the natural childbirth instructor, birth doula, that I used to be) but, I am praying that they can induce me a couple of weeks early, like maybe 38 or so weeks, that is the plan at least with my Doctor and the High Risk doctor. That would make 19 weeks 1/2 way there... I will be 21 weeks on Sunday... I am so thankful to God to be this far... but I can hardly believe it.

I will keep you posted on the kidney stone... Thank you so much for your prayers!

BROTHERS WILL BE BROTHERS...

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO HEAR THE BELLY LAUGHS THAT ABOUND IN OUR HOME. AFTER TIMES OF GREAT SADNESS IT IS SO NICE TO HEAR THE GIGGLES THAT MAKE THEIR WAY AROUND THE HOUSE... LIKE MUSIC TO MY EARS!

JOJO IS DOWN RIGHT SILLY AND ALWAYS HAS A WAY OF MAKING THINGS FUN AND FUNNY. HE HAS THIS LAUGH THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME START TO GIGGLE.

I OFTEN THINK OF HOW DIFFERENTLY JOJO'S LIFE WOULD BE IF SAMUEL HAD LIVED AND THEY COULD BE BUDDIES. WOULD HE HAVE BEEN BLOND LIKE JO OR DARK HAIRED LIKE LOU? I AM SO THANKFUL THAT REGARDLESS OF THE AGE DIFFERENCE JOJO IS SO CLOSE TO LOUIS AND CALEB. THEY ARE REALLY GOOD TO HIM.

WE SURELY HAVE OUR FAIR SHARE OF ISSUES WITH THE KIDS NOT ALWAYS GETTING ALONG PERFECTLY, BUT THANKFULLY THEY REALLY LOVE BEING TOGETHER AND HAVING BUILT IN PLAYMATES ALL THE TIME.

I AM GLAD THAT THERE WILL BE MANY MORE OF THESE GIGGLY MOMENTS AROUND OUR HOUSE TO WARM IT UP AS THE TEMPS GET CHILLIER...

BY THE WAY, I JUST FINISHED THE MARYBETH CHAPMAN BOOK, CHOOSING TO SEE, AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD! THIS IS THE BOOK WRITTEN BY STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN'S WIFE... SHE IS INCREDIBLY REAL AND HONEST IN HER GRIEF... YET VERY WITTY AND FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME. IF YOU GET A CHANCE TO READ IT, IT IS SO WORTH IT!

THEY CRACK ME UP:)

Anna has a couple of he dolls from www.visionforum.com and for her birthday a couple of weeks ago she got a matching Historical dress for her doll and herself. She was so proud of that present... I am so blessed to have her in my life. She has been going to each of my Doctor's appointments with Greg and I. She has seemed to be a bit more needy as of late, not sure why that is.

We worked like crazy this week to get a full weeks worth of school done... but it didn't fully happen. I think Anna is the only one who will have to work a bit more this week. But after that I am excited to just hang out with the kids and enjoy playing games together without the schedule of school for the next week. Yay for perseverance:)

We had a break through with Sweet Baby girl. I have been sort of trying to blanket train her while we do school. She is the MOST busy little one, I have ever seen. She is the first of all the kids to color on the wall amongst many other things... She is just busy, busy, busy... :) But yesterday and today she was so good. She actually sat on the blanket and played with the toys and stayed put while we all did Science. Maybe I am speaking too soon, who knows what she will be like tomorrow:) She has never been one to play by herself... it was so nice to see.

I can not believe that in a few years we will have had her with us for full year. Craziness! We are thankful for the precious and wildly fun gift that she is to us.

This is a picture Caleb drew on the Magna Doodle for me. It cracked me up. I may have to print this one up to stick in his memory box... :) I would love for his future wife to see that one:)

SO MUCH ON MY MIND

These precious kiddos are always on my mind...

But there has been so much more on my mind this week. Such a smattering of different things...

I was so so thankful that my sweet friend Becky and her family safely welcomed their new baby boy Micah into the family this week. God knew the time that he needed to be born safely and we are so thankful that He moved to make that happen.

At the same time my heart was heavy this week for my 2 blog friends that I met in Atlanta last January.... both of their sons were born into heaven this week, 2 and 3 years ago. I know how hard anniversaries are...

My sister in law had surgery this week. It is hard to be away when you wish you could be up there helping out in some way, with meals or whatever... I am thankful to be heading up soon to hopefully be able to do some of that. We are thanking God that the surgery went well... She had the same surgery a year ago, and now is back at it just 13 months later. We are praying for the Lord to allow her to have a smooth, safe and speedy healing.

Orphan Sunday went well at church last Sunday... we are praying we can do it again next year as it was somewhat of a last minute thing... we hadn't even heard of it until a few weeks before. Actually the timing really was perfect. This past Wednesday we had a choir of about 14 orphaned and disadvantaged kids come to do a concert. We were so blessed to have 2, 10 year old boys get to stay with us for 2 nights. This is where the week got totally interesting on another level for us.

OH MY GOODNESS... THEY COMPLETELY STOLE MY HEART. They were amazing... so polite, funny, a total joy to have around. The kids had a ball with them. They were enamored with the simplest of our toys and truly as I made dinner for them all on Tuesday, I loved looking in the other room and seeing 2 sweet dark skinned boys from Nepal and Uganda, belly laughing along with my kids as they played with Jacks of all things. (We have so many great pictures, but are allowed to post them online:) Bummer!)

During their concert... I was choked up continually. I just CAN NOT FATHOM that these kids don't have parents on the other side of the world waiting for them, and worrying about them. As we did family prayers at night with them and I watched them sleeping in our beds my heart was completely broken for the poverty that is a part of so many orphans lives and here we sit in our cush, huge houses. My heart is totally convicted on so many levels.

Part of the mission of the organization that they travel with is to promote getting sa

fe water to these countries. Did you know that children are dying every single day because of drinking unsafe, unclean water... the number is staggering. It would be the equivalent of 20 jumbo jets crashing every day. I could not help but think of the upheaval that would happen if 20 jumbo jets really did crash every day... something would be done immediately ... But yet, all of these children are dying and we are oblivious, or we know, and still stand by idly.... really, it makes me sick to my stomach.

I called the organization that they came with to see if any of them are adoptable after their tour in the states is done... I had to leave a message. We will see if I get a call back. They may get tons of calls like that... If I don't hear back from them... I will call them back. I highly doubt it would even be possible... but it is certainly worth a try.

The kids and I were talking about how blessed we are here in America... we were just batting around all sorts of stuff... I asked them... would you rather have a pool (this would never happen, I was really just curious to hear their responses:) or adopt another sibling?? Their unanimous response was no pool, but adopt 2 kids. They can be so sweet sometimes... I would love to say they always act that way and respond that way... but that wouldn't be the truth:)

So who knows what God has planned for the future of our family, and our ministry here in OK. What I do know, is that my heart was changed this week, in so many ways, some ways I can't even describe to you. I CAN NOT imagine millions of children literally living without one of the most basic needs of life... the love of a family... a mom and dad to care about them... It is too much for me... I know that the global picture is huge, yet if churches would all do their part, I have to believe that the problem could really be so much smaller.

Thanks for listening as I try to put into words some of what I have been thinking... Greg and I were going to talk about it ALL last night... after dinner, I of course laid on the couch around 8:30, moved to my bed and didn't get up till 9:00. The talk will have to wait... we will have lots of time to discuss on the road this week:)

OUR FALL FESTIVAL OUTFITS AND MORE:)

Anna went a little overboard on the freckles:) I could still just eat her up:)

Jojo and Hope as Chocolate and white milk...


We have been soooooo busy. I don't really see it letting up anytime soon. We had a great time with my in laws here last week, they were very gracious to help with meals... what a HUGE help. A lot of days I just feel like throwing eggs or pancakes on the table. (But didn't really want to do that for company:) I am feeling so much better as far as nausea goes, but it does still come and go. I am just really tired... but I am so thankful to have the gift of this baby making me tired... so thankful!

I loved the service we had for Orphan Sunday. We actually had a new girl that has been coming to the teen group at church who wanted to be baptized. It was so special... had me choked up for sure. It is just so cool to see God working in her life... so cool. I love to see Greg's passion for the orphan, the needy, the lonely. I prayed the Lord worked in hearts to move/give fo themselves on behalf of those who need so much.

It just breaks my heart to think that there are so many kids that do with out what most of us just take for granted... a mom and dad... a family who will stick by them... love... compassion and care... and so very much more. And the thing is they are the innocent ones... they didn't ask for that to be their lot in life to be without a mother, father, or family. Oh my, so much for my heart to take in sometimes. Our reality is so much different... I just keep coming back to the fact that we are so spoiled and warped here in America in so many ways. We don't really have a clue as to how so much of the rest of the world lives each and every day.

We are gearing up to have some kids stay with us this Tuesday and Wednesday that are a part of an international choir that is doing a concert at our church. The kids are so excited!

Just thankful these days for the blessings of being home with my kids... getting to experience life with them and Greg each day... each day is a gift.

Praying in earnest tonight for my sweet friend in NE in labor right now... and my sister in law who will have surgery this Wednesday!

THANKFUL THURSDAY

I am joining in my son Louis' blog hop this week at http://www.mylifeaslouis.blogspot.com/ Thankful Thursday...

Our church is celebrating Orphan Sunday this coming Sunday...

This week I am incredibly thankful for...

3. The gift of adoption... for because of it I have become a mother again:) What a precious gift!

(I am numbering all the things I am thankful for right from the start so I can sort of keep track of all of my blessings... may seem a bit odd... but I am sort of weird like that... that way in my mind, it will be somewhat organized:)

Because of the gift of adoption this precious girl became a Hintz officially August 23rd:) We just got her birth certificate in the mail today! Yay!

And because of the gift of adoption, this little one became a Hintz officially June 9th 2010... Although he was still frozen at that time and wasn't transferred to my womb until July 14th...

Isn't that just WILD and a complete miracle?

So this Thursday my heart is so very thankful for all kinds of adoption and how God has used it to build our family:)

REMEMBERING OUR SWEET SAMUEL

Hope was not in a good mood as you can tell...

I have to tell you that celebrating Samuel's 2nd birthday in Heaven didn't really go at all like I had thought or planned. We had been so busy, the house was a mess, and unfortunately there was work that just had to get done. Louis, had his confirmation at church on Sunday, and we were having company so there were things that had to be accomplished. But honestly, it is funny how even in that, a part of me has to trust that was how the Lord wanted it to go for us... maybe He knew I would need a bit of a distraction during the two days. So I trust that it went how the Lord wanted it to go.

We were able to go see a matinee at the movie theatre as a family. We did that last year, and it was a treat again, as we do not do that often at all. The boys and Greg finished up the loft that they had been working on in their room. Now all it needs is a coat or 2 of paint... their room has so much more space now, which is really nice. Daddy won major points there with mom and with the boys, they think they have the coolest room EVER!

We were able to release balloons, we did this at our walk to remember, but we had more time to really think about what we wanted to write on them here at home. We had cake and just did a lot of remembering of our precious Samuel.

I have to be honest that Friday was REALLY hard. It is amazing how you can feel yourself going there... to that really sad, despairing, remembering the details of how it all happened. I really don't think I could stop myself if I tried. Those were the days 2 years ago that life changed forever, I changed forever, and I experienced in my body the worst possible thing I could have ever imagined. You can't help but remember... this was the time of day we knew officially he was really gone, this was the time of day I totally lost it with the nurses in the room, this was the time of day I pushed him out and first set eyes on him... this was the time of day we handed him over to the nurse for the very last time... never to set eyes on him again this side of heaven. I think that is part of it... the beautiful moments with Samuel, and the awful memories all at the same time.

I truly had a few hours in my bed with Greg where I was beside myself in sadness. It is amazing how you can go back to that place. I still go there occasionally, but Friday when I was there, I had the realization that was where I had been living for about a year straight after he died. I am so thankful to not be there anymore permanently, but just to go there occasionally and for a much shorter period of time. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is the only way I can think to express it. We didn't watch his video or go through his things... I really didn't think I could do it... and I know those are both things I can really do at any time.... when I am ready again.

The 2 days went ok... as well as I can expect I guess. At this point I think I am just a bit emotionally exhausted. I am so thankful for the Lord's healing in my life. I am so thankful for the blessing of Samuel and that God chose us to be Samuel's family here on earth. I can't wait to be reunited with my son someday in Heaven... but right now, that seems so far off. I guess with each year that passes, I am one year closer tothat day. I continue to pray that the Lord will continue to heal our family... I know that I personally have a very long way to go. But it is nice to see progress with time. I just spoke with a woman that lost her husband about 17 years ago, and she said she still struggles at that time of year when he was hospitalized and passed away. That brought me comfort in knowing that there is no time table with grief. It helped me feel more normal, and not so alone in the suffering of losing someone I love so much! I will go where the Lord leads me in my grief and hopefully will allow Him to use our grief as well.

Samuel,
Mommy never stops thinking about you and being thankful for your short life inside of me. Samuel, you changed me forever, in ways I never knew possible. Even though you never breathed a breath of life on this earth, your life mattered to us. God created you, you were fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator of the universe. He knit you together inside of me. I feel so blessed that I got the chance to carry you for your time here on this earth. We loved you from the minute we knew you were a coming... we treasured our 9 months and 1 day with you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, pain and all, just to have you a part of our life again. What a gift you were to us.

We can't wait to see you again, and to have our family be whole and together again for eternity. Missing and loving you, my sweet precious Samuel... today... and forever!

THE KIDS BALLOONS

MORE OF CELEBRATING SAMUEL'S 2ND BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN

MOMMY'S BALLOON...

EXCUSE ALL MY COOKING MESS ALL OVER MY BELLY... NOT SURE THE APRON STILL FITS:)

WATCHING OUR BALLOONS FLY AWAY...

JOJO HELPED MAKE SAMUEL'S CAKE, WE OPTED FOR 3 LAYERS THIS YEAR INSTEAD OF 6....

WE HAD SUCH A NICE TIME DECORATING OUR CAKE WITH SKITTLES... WITH EACH SKITTLE WE HAD TO SAY A MEMORY VERSE, SOMETHING WE WERE THANKFUL FOR THIS PAST YEAR, OR SOME WAY GOD HELPED US THROUGH OUT THE PAST YEAR... IT HELPED ME TO BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON ALL GOD HAS DONE FOR US WHEN MY HEART WAS HURTING SO DEEPLY.

SO THANKFUL FOR GOD'S FAITHFULNESS THROUGH IT ALL!