Well, we certainly don't know if sweet little girl will be our forever daughter... but we do know that we will have her for another 3-4 mos.
That gives our hearts much joy... but yet I say that with trepidation. We should hear from the Ok-ahoma Sup-eme Court on their ruling in 3-4 mos. and then from there depending on how that turns out there will be 1 or 2 more hearings... So we wait... I will try to keep you posted.
Part of me is bummed... I was praying for a small miracle, that somehow it just wouldn't get dragged out... but that was not meant to be.
Part of me had a feeling it would go this way... but part of me is in disbelief that this is our adoption story... our first birth mom living with us, then that baby too is stillborn, just like our Samuel... then we get this situation that will be so up in the air for so long. It is just a bit bizarre.
Part of me is so excited to see God reveal His plan for our family... this is not how I would have ever planned it:)
Part of me is so tired of waiting... but there is a part of me that can feel God refining us all through this journey, it hurts incredibly, but yet at the same times feels kind of good:) I know I am weird.
Can you tell, I am a whole mix of emotions. I am so thankful I am married to a steady Eddy:)
So we wait... we repeatedly lay our worries at Jesus' feet... We will try not to worry about tomorrow for we know that today has enough worries of it's own.
We try to just wait on the Lord, not really the end result... (although that will be absolutely blissfully wonderful to know the end result when it arrives:) As I was running today I was thinking about that, and trying to make my focus, just waiting on Him, not the outcome... it will have to be a daily surrender that is for sure. But really, sometimes I look at her and think, "Will you really be mine? Or does the Lord just have you here for such a time as this, you need us right now. You need us to love you right now... you deserve that, to be fully loved by a family now and for as long as you are here with us." There are so many thoughts and feelings that run through my mind when I look into her eyes. And there she sits totally oblivious to all that is going on around her... that is pretty precious. What innocence...
As I was running the Lord brought to mind the verse from Isaiah... They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.
I am thankful that His word tells us that He will renew our strength when we wait on Him...
Oh, and by the way, there is another thing I realized when I was running today...
It is official... I am totally out of shape... I have been a slacker, and I paid for it today... the tightness in my chest inspired me to get back into a routine with my running... Then I will be able to proclaim that second half of the verse... that I will run and not grow weary. Because today I was one weary woman...
Thanks again for praying... I will try to keep you updated as things progress, but we should have a fairly quiet next few mos... till we hear back.