Tuesday, March 16, 2010

TOUCHING DOWN IN THAT PLACE


TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHERE I AM TOUCHING DOWN IN THAT PLACE. I HAVE FELT IT COMING FOR THE FEW WEEKS OR SO...
  • THE PLACE WHERE MY CHEST LITERALLY HURTS AND I THINK, NO I KNOW, THAT I FEEL MY HEART BREAKING ALL OVER AGAIN...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I IMAGINE HOW HIS SKIN FELT AGAINST MINE...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SMELL HIS SWEET SMELL AGAIN...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I WANT TO BE HELD BY GOD, BUT FOR SOME REASON HE SEEMS MORE SILENT THAN HE DOES ON OTHER DAYS...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE "OTHER ME" , THE ME I USED TO BE, BEING THE NEW ME HURTS WAY TOO MUCH SOME DAYS...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I WOULD RELIVE THAT DAY WITH HIM IN A
  • HEARTBEAT... EVEN WITH IT'S EXTREME SORROW, JUST TO HOLD MY PRECIOUS CHILD AGAIN...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I JUST WANT TO GO BACK AND RE SEER EVERY INCH OF HIS BEING INTO MY MIND, FOR I FEEL MY MEMORIES FADING OF WHAT HE REALLY LOOKED LIKE, NOW I WONDER IF I AM JUST REMEMBERING WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE IN PICTURES...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I REALLY WANT SOME ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I REPLAY SO MUCH IN MY MIND...
  • THE PLACE WHERE THE EVER PRESENT ACHE IS ALL THE WAY AT THE SURFACE...
  • THE PLACE WHERE I JUST WISH LIFE WERE SO DIFFERENT THAN IT IS...
ALTHOUGH SAMUEL IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND, I KNOW THIS PLACE IS DIFFERENT... I KNOW THIS IS PART OF THE GRIEF JOURNEY... BUT IT IS SO HARD... ONE OF THOSE REALLY HARD DAYS...

7 comments:

blessedmomto8 said...

Sara,

I can't imagine to even understand. Saying a prayer for you today..Grieving with you for your sweet boy...

Jen

Trennia said...

These days are very difficult...(((HUGS)))

mom2many said...

Sara, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." God knew. Long before we were even a thought in our parents minds/hearts, that this day would come. Whether you feel Him or not, He is there. He will never leave you or forsake you. He ONLY does what is for our good...our GOOD! I know it doesn't always feel like it, but it is still Truth. I know you know all of this, but on days like these, sometimes we need a sweet reminder from a friend. HUGS!

Ebe said...

Feeling the pain with you today. I'm so sorry, Sara.

Praying...

Tonya said...

Dear Sara,

It sounds more like you've crash landed instead of touched down. I'm so sorry for the deep pain you're feeling all over again. It definitely never completely leaves us but does tend to crash like a tidal wave at times. Please know that I'm praying for you, missing our boys, wondering what they would be like today, longing for the day we're all together for eternity...

Love you! (((HUGS)))
Tonya

katie said...

Sarah, I am thinking about you today. Thank you for being open about your grief journey and for keeping Samuel's memory alive. I love it when you post his pictures. They are precious.

Kristin said...

Praying for you! Hoping that God was able to give you some of the comfort that you needed yesterday!