PRECIOUS TIME WITH FRIENDS

THIS IS A PICTURE OF THE WHOLE HINTZ AND STOCKTON CREW LAST SUMMER CAMPING AT INKS LAKE

THE FOUR YOUNGERS:)

3 OF THE 4 OLDERS:)

MY PRECIOUS FRIEND MARY



While in Texas, I was blessed to be able to attend the Sally Clarkson, Whole Hearted Mothers conference with my sweet friend Mary and a group of her friends. Last year at this same time, my friend Lula and I met her and some of her friends there too. I was so impressed by her friends last year and am so thankful that she has them in her life. Last year right away some of them came up to me, gave me a hug, talked about Samuel, and told me that they had been praying for me. Wow, strangers willing to talk about my boy and willing to be with me. It felt so good during a time when it felt like many were avoiding me and if not avoiding me, avoiding conversation about the death of my son... at the time though that was all I could think about. I know 4 months after his death, yep, it was still all I could think about. At that point I was in complete despair and totally depressed. I tell people now, that I think that 4-8 mos after Samuel's death was the hardest for me. I don't know why... I know that the shock had worn off, I think I was trying to figure out who I was with out him... I still am at times... who am I now, as I move forward in life, with this hole in my heart? How does God want to use this in my life... He wouldn't have allowed it if He wasn't going to use it. It is like this unopened package... waiting to we unwrapped, what God will do with all of this... all of the pain and hurt of the last 18 months. I can't wait till it gets unwrapped and I can see more of His purpose in this journey.

Well, what difference a year makes. Her friends are still just as nice, amazingly nice and welcoming:) The conference was great. But most of all I just treasured being with my friend. Mary and I still laugh at the fact that now 11 years later we still tear up when we talk about us moving from Houston. Ugh... that was hard. I often wonder how our life would look if we hadn't moved from away from them and the amazing church we were at. You can't ever go back, but it is sometimes fun and a little sad to think about. God has blessed Greg and I so much with the friendship of Mary and Chris. Once back in Houston, we spent a wonderful afternoon and evening with them. The dads took the kids to the park to shoot a video for Mary... and Mary and I sat with a glass of wine and talked. I TOTALLY unloaded... lots of tears, and she cried with me. It felt so good. She was sharing about how she felt after Samuel's memorial service and how she couldn't sleep, was sick just thinking about me at home with my milk coming in and no baby to nurse. As sad as it was to hear, and to live it, it touched me that she has been thinking of all of the details that I have gone through. She is such a good friend...

I was so blessed by our time Mary... Thanks for hanging with me through every step of this grief journey... Greg and I love laughing with you guys, till our sides hurt. We love sharing those special times that we can with our families together... we just plain love all of you...