Sunday, September 20, 2009

Baby Joel

A few days ago we got our Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep pictures from when Joel was born.

The top picture is the little card they tape to the door of the room that has a family inside that has lost their baby... we all remember that same card from the day we lost Samuel as well.
I feel like my hands look huge in the second picture... Joel was just that small... teeny, tiny, but still perfectly created by our creator.
Just thought I would share a couple with you.
Tonight we had Faith and her family over. We haven't seen her in over a month. We all miss her. We got to meet her little brother and cousin. Her mom, grandma and little sister came too. We had an absolutely wonderful time. They invited us for Thanksgiving if we are around and don't have plans. I thought that was so nice. There were so many times I looked around all night and just felt a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Anna was sitting on Faith's grandmas lap just laughing away, the rest of us all were playing Monopoly Deal together having a really nice time. The kids were absolutely thrilled to have them all here. I am so glad she is doing well, and am so thankful that God brought them into our lives. I really have learned so much from them and I think them from us. This may sound odd, but I haven't had that many opportunities to spend tons of time with any other African Americans. Honestly, I NEVER even notice any color difference when we are with them...(except when they bring over greens for us to try, boy were they delicious... loved them:) We are all just people who love each other. It really is such a great thing for us and the kids. I will say it does make me long for that little black baby Joel who would have been a part of our family already or very shortly had he lived.
This verse gives me comfort in the fact that both Samuel and Joel were here on this earth for exactly the amount of days that the Lord had planned for them... not what I had planned for them, but God's ways are sovereign and good... even when they don't necessarily feel good.
For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are WONDERFUL, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16
Continually trusting in the one who holds our future...


Tonya said...

I love that verse! I clung to it when Emma Grace was born so prematurely. It took on new meaning for me after Grady died.

I'm so glad you had such a nice visit with Faith and her family. You are blessings to each other and that's a special gift! Are you and Faith going to do anything special on Baby Joel's due date?

I so wish God's plan included our baby boys to be here with us. It is so hard living without them, but I can't help but think they're all friends in heaven. And I'm so thankful for the friendships I've made as a result of Grady's death.

Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers!


mom2many said...

I know the verse is true, but my heart still screams "It's just not right!" when I see my kids playing without Jacob...or when I walk through the house and see his picture...or when we are STILL buckling up one less kid in the car.

I love the relationship you have with Joel's birthmother. God's ways are not our ways.