SONS ARE A HERITAGE FROM THE LORD,
CHILDREN A REWARD FROM HIM.
LIKE ARROWS IN THE HANDS OF A WARRIOR
ARE SONS BORN IN ONE'S YOUTH.
BLESSED IS THE MAN
WHOSE QUIVER IS FULL OF THEM.
I will never forget how precious Anna was with Samuel, she couldn't get enough of him. I wondered if the kids would be afraid to hold him or be with him knowing that he had already passed away. Of course there were many tears, but they all were totally at ease with holding him and wanted to be with him. Anna just kept kissing him on his sweet little rosebud lips. I think I might have said this before but her little mommy heart was evident. I finally had to tell her it was the last time that she could hold him because I wanted to hold him. She has such a tender heart and many times just comes up to rub my back and cry with me. She always says, "Its OK mommy, we all miss baby Samuel."
The last week has been a hard one, a week of not too many ups and downs like the last 2 months have been. It has certainly been just more down. I am not sure what the reason is... could it be the holidays? I think it is a combination of everything.
When I was taking a bath the other day I was thinking of a song that Andrew Peterson sings called Hosanna. (He is by far my favorite christian singer) His new CD is called Resurrection Letters and speaks over and over again of God's restoring power. How appropriate for me right now. It just speaks to my soul and the hurt within me. Anyways, in the song Hosanna there is a line that talks about God beating death at deaths own game. WOW, God has done that, he is victorious over death. My son is dead and not with me in a physical way, but yet his soul is alive with Christ. Satan wants to bring us all misery. Death is a result of the fall and sin in the world. The fall being caused by Satan tempting Eve in the garden. Thus death is really a result of the devils wicked schemes. God has beaten death and the devil at his own game. It actually gave me a hopeful moment in the tub. I am claiming that God is going to work that same victorious healing in my life and heart.