UPDATE ON SWEET BABY GIRL

It is just me and the baby girl tonight:) Greg has all of the others at the baseball game in town so I figured I would give a little update on the situation with sweet baby girl.

Yesterday we were blessed with good news from the Supreme court referee in our state... They ruled with the agency and denied having the appeal from the others heard by the Supreme Court. This was really good for us. Basically it could still be a long road, but this potentially shortened it by another 3-4 mos which is what it would have been just for this appeal to be heard. So we are really thankful for that... It is a small victory that is for sure.

After I heard, I went to put her down for a nap and had a tearful moment of relief. Each little step of the way is another little hurdle to overcome. And this ruling just gave my heart of moment of taking pure joy that she may really be ours someday. It really made me wonder how I will react if we do get to keep her at the end of all of this... Oh my... let the floodgates open:)

So I thank you for all of your prayers. There will be a couple more hearings this month regarding her. Nothing we need to participate in, but that will affect her situation. With that being said we put in our petition for adopting her. It is hard to believe that if this were a normal situation that we would be able to finalize our adoption in about a little over a month. I know that won't happen, but I am not holding out hope that God won't move some mountains to allow this to come to a close sooner rather than later... That would be a welcome miracle:) We will see...

Thanks for continuing to pray for this precious little girl we are loving having with us in our home... praying that she will be ours forever!

HOMESCHOOL CONFERENCE and 18 MONTHS

LOOK WHO MY DATE WAS FOR THE CONFERENCE:)

LOOK WHO ALSO IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF A HAIRCUT:)
JOJO WAS THRILLED TO BE PULLING THE BOOK BAG...


TRACY, MY SWEET BLOG FRIEND AND HER PRECIOUS DAUGHTER TO BE:)

JOJO EATING HIS FIRST GYRO:)

Tonight before I wrote this post I looked again at my Now I lay Me Down to Sleep pictures of our time with Samuel. We have pictures of Samuel all over the house... but tonight I just felt the need to look at them in detail; to gaze over the details of him... the peach fuzz on his face, the rosy red lips, the turned out little toe... all of it. I cried for him all over again... the ache in my arms is still there for me son... so with that I write this post... it is a little all over the place:)

I had an absolutely delightful day on Friday at the Home school conference. Initially the whole family planned on going to the city, it was a couple hours drive for us, but we decided for many reasons it was probably best that I just go... Since I was only shopping and not really attending the conference, I figured that it may not be the easiest place for Greg to keep everyone busy. Next year though maybe we will all go and actually take in the conference, the kids programs and the shopping. I always try to get all my books ordered for the next year and it is so nice to be able to see all of the books right in front of me before I actually buy them. It is always a huge relief to have them ordered and ready to go for the next year... then when summer rolls around we can just enjoy the summer and the big stuff is behind us...

Anyways, Jojo really wanted to come with me. I am so blessed by that little boy. He is the best natured kid. Truly, he is the kid who is frequently saying, "This is the best day of my life mama... the sun is so bright and shiny." Or like on Friday when he said, "This is the best day of my life mama... I had my first Gyro." He is generally almost always happy and finds great joy in the REALLY little things in life and it is so absolutely precious. We had a ball driving there, walking the city streets, and shopping, shopping, and shopping. He was such a good sport. The great thing is that at lots of the vendors they have bowls of candy out... I know is that bad or what?... but it was incredibly easy to keep him tied over with a little treat here and there. He thought the nachos for lunch were awesome and the slushy even better. It was a day of indulging with Jojo and it was a ball.

One of the definite highlights for me was meeting my blog friend Tracy... now I can say she is a real life friend:) She lost her 2 year old son Jacob just 2 months before we lost Samuel so we have had a lot of things in common over the last 18 mos. She is an encouragement to me, she has such a strong faith. There has been many occasions that after I blogged about something she said just the thing I needed to hear. It was funny, I recognized her right away and gave her a big hug... and we just started chatting like old friends. I know that sounds very cliche, but it was true. We talked about the two baby girls we are both hoping to adopt and of course we talked of their big brothers Samuel and Jacob. It was so nice to finally meet her.

Just having met Tracy for the first time, as I was driving home, I was overcome with emotion as I thought about the blessing that all my new friends have been to me. I have made friends in places and ways I would NEVER before have thought possible. I would never have dreamt that I would stop and stay with a blog friend I had never met in person before, yet when I stayed with Tonya in GA back it January, it was like we had known each other forever and felt totally like the natural thing to do... I could have stayed days:) I am just so thankful that the Lord saw fit to bless me with people along this journey that know exactly what I have experienced and still experience. What a gift that has been to me.

Lord, 18 mos have passed since I met my son face to face and held that precious little one. How can it be that long Father... but I smile knowing that means I am 18 mos closer to seeing Him and you for eternity. Thank you Jesus for knowing exactly who and what I have needed and for providing it along this journey. There were days Lord, no months Lord, in this new place that I longed for you to provide people, your people Lord, to minister to me. It took so much longer than I wanted God, it was so much harder than I ever dreamed even possible. I was alone Lord, I felt so alone, but Lord you were there... in the darkness and total loneliness you were there. You were carrying me and sustaining me, though it felt like it was by a thread... God if you are that thread Lord then it is enough. I could NEVER have said that a year ago, but I can today Lord. You are enough! Just being able to utter those words feels miraculous to me God...

Father, the longer I live, the more I realize the less I really know your ways... I think... no I know they are far far beyond my comprehension... Yet you know what I need before I have even known that I needed it. Lord though the growing and stretching has been incredibly painful and still is, thank you for those growing pains. Lord I would have it no other way. If this is what I get as a result of being Samuel's mom here on earth for those 9+ mos... I will take it Father, it is worth it, He is so worth it. As I looked tonight again Father, at the close up pictures of my precious son, I saw anew your beautiful miraculous creation that you grew within me. Father, even though 18 mos have passed and it feels like as His mommy, I am the only one who really remembers Him like I do, that is hard God, so hard. I feel like his life left this huge impression but it feels like a gaping hole in my heart. Even those I can feel the edges of that wound starting to heal, it still bleeds so easily. All of this because of that 9 lb 2 oz miracle you gave us for a time and took so quickly back to yourself. What a precious gift that I will forever treasure and cherish... Forever Father till you reunite us in your presence! Thank you for using this trial to grow me and grow my compassion for others. Lord, please continue to use this pain for your purposes... don't waste this pain... use it Father however you see fit... and come Lord Jesus Come, we are ready Father... ready for YOU FATHER!

A DAY AT THE PARK:)

LOU AND CARLOTTA
ANNA AND MEME

THE SAME TWO LITTLE TURKEYS GOOFING OFF

JOJO AND LILY... I JUST DIG HER LITTLE COWBOY BOOTS... AND JOJO, WHAT A SNUGGLER!

ME AND MY HONEY

Last weekend we had lunch with our friends the Tiews... We got to meet their new dog Sarge. We even walked around Utica Square... the trendy, shopping area here... I am so not trendy, but it was really fun:) Then we headed over to Woodward Park. The flowers were gorgeous. There were 8 million kids there with their prom dates... it was a bit sad, but funny (is that mean??) that they got stuck in the rain taking pictures... so did we, but we were just in our grubby clothes. We had such a nice time.

Last night my honey and I had a date... YEP, stop the presses! It was wonderful. We had a gift certificate that we got last August and finally used it. It was such a treat. The kids did great and even said when we called on the way home, that we should stay out as long as we wanted. It was an absolute delight. Truly, Greg had worked every night, but last night, for the last 3 weeks. It is crucial for me that we get to have some "us time" I never used to be that way at all, but since Samuel died, I don't do real well if I am not feeling connected to him. It could just be a walk around the neighborhood and I would be happy with that. I am not hard to please that way... But I won't lie, going to the Steakhouse was a total over the top treat for us. I was so thankful that we were able to get out, just the 2 of us this week. I love sitting across from Greg and having His undivided attention and uninterrupted conversation for a little bit. It was wonderful!

I will try to post tomorrow about my trip to the home school conference and meeting another real life blog friend. Such a treat!

PRAISING GOD TODAY... HE KNOWS!

Yesterday my dear friend Ebe at www.riskingloss.blogspot.com gave birth to a precious 4 lb 6oz miracle baby girl Hannah Mae. You may remember when I blogged about visiting these two precious ladies above, my real life blog friends Ebe and Tonya in Georgia on my way home from Florida this past January. Who knew you could grow to love people so much just by having so many shared experiences of loss, encouraging one another through emails and comments, and by supporting one another through it all. Our visit was incredible... but I won't go on and on about it. (Check back in my archives to January and you can read about it... I don't know how to link back to it...sorry:) Ebe, lost her firstborn Owen in November 2008 and has since had two losses through miscarriage... but now is holding her precious Hannah Mae in her arms... You can check out pictures of sweet Hannah Mae on her blog linked above. Praise God for His faithfulness in bringing Hannah Mae safely here and into Ebe's long waiting arms. I have cried tears of sorrow for her but now they are replaced with tears of joy:) Thank you God.

My other sweet friend above Tonya... www.tonyatalk.blogspot.com just revealed her new pregnancy on her blog... even though I knew about it back in January:) She lost baby Grady just 12 days after our Samuel went to Heaven and she also had a miscarriage before Grady. I so often think of our boys in heaven together... and Samuel welcoming Grady home so soon after his own arrival there. (I know I have no real clue what heaven is like, but it comforts me to think of them there together) I am so thrilled for her... another baby boy:) I had been obsessively, checking Ebe's blog yesterday for an update on Hannah Mae's arrival knowing she had been induced the night before... but it was Tonya who called me with the news of her safe arrival. Now prayers turn to prayers of thanksgiving for Hannah Mae, and will continue in earnest for Tonya's new baby boy who will most likely arrive at the end of the summer. Tonya, you know I am so thrilled for you friend. May the Lord carry you through the rest of this pregnancy and may He give you peace when it need it dear friend.

And 2 days ago a friend who used to attend our church and also came to my infant loss support gave birth to baby girl Sophia Esther. Congratulations Mary Susan, on your precious new arrival.

As I was taking a walk in the neighborhood yesterday afternoon, I was overcome with thankfulness to God. He has safely brought two of these babies here into waiting arms that have literally waited through years of loss and emptiness. I am so grateful to Him for His provision and protection of those baby girls. It just reminded me that God is sovereign... ultimately in complete control of all of the big details and the little ones.

He knows the desires of my heart. He created me as a young girl with those desires... He knows my thoughts... all of them, as peaceful as they are at times and as crazy as they are at times... And even as we approach Samuel being gone from us for 18 mos tomorrow (how my heart and arms still ache for that precious boy), He knows my worries, sorrows, and concerns, as I continually lay them at His feet each day... He knows my joys over His amazing blessings to me , my family, and my friends... He knows it all... even though I repeatedly express it all to Him over and over again... He knows it all before I even utter a word. There is comfort for me in knowing that HE KNOWS... HE HEARS IT ALL AND HE KNOWS:)

IT IS FINISHED!!

WAY TO GO HUBBY!!! THIS WAS QUITE A JOB... I THANK YOU, OUR CHILDREN THANK YOU, AS WELL AS ALL THE OTHER NEIGHBORHOOD CHILDREN WHO ARE ALREADY ENJOYING IT.

WE JUST HAVE A BIT MORE STAINING TO DO AND THEN WE NEED TO STAIN THE TREE FORT THAT GREG AND THE BOYS MADE LAST YEAR. YOU CAN SEE JUST A PIECE OF IT IN THE FAR LEFT IN THE PICTURE ABOVE. I THINK THE NEIGHBORS WILL APPRECIATE THAT. I AM NOT SURE OUR NEIGHBORS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE GETTING WHEN WE MOVED IN ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO... LOTS OF KIDS, LOTS OF COMMOTION. REALLY THOUGH, I LOVE THAT THE KIDS OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD LIKE TO SORT OF GATHER HERE. I LOVE HAVING THEM HERE, I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

I AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE A FEW BIG THINGS TO KEEP THE KIDS BUSY OUT BACK... IT HAS BEEN A HUGE BLESSING ALREADY.

NOT ME MONDAY

I don't often join in on Mckmama's blog Carnival NOT ME MONDAY... but the last couple of days I have found great humor in my kiddos and my life. NOT ME MONDAY was born out of Mckmama's desire to admit some of our imperfections and come clean as moms and women... we are only human right??:)

Here goes...

I most certainly did not almost wet my pants from laughing so hard when the kids and I were doing some schooling on the tramp today... the schooling didn't have me in stitches... but the fact that my husband snuck on and literally sent us all as well as our books and piles of blankets and pillows flying all around as he bounded all around us... don't worry sweet baby girl wasn't on there with us... she was down for a nap.

I would never have to stop mid prayer during our nightly family prayers from getting caught in giggles realizing that one of my children had randomly asked me to pray for him to not puke (mind you we have all been as healthy as horses) same said child also couldn't have requested prayer for him to be able to stop tootin... that could not be possible... my children have way more class than that. (What is it with boys and bodily functions?:)

I would never have to break into an anatomy lesson in the middle of our science lesson on primates today because the following completely off topic conversation didn't possibly take place...

Child: "Mom is there some other kind of Milk Dud besides the chocolate Mild Dud.?"
Me: "Nope honey, I believe that is the only kind of Milk Dud I can think of."
Child: "Are you sure mommy, I thought you have mentioned another kind of Milk Dud"
Me... thinking more deeply of course..."Hmmmm, I can't think of any other kind."
Child: "But mom you said that the milk in a mommies breast comes from the Milk Dud"

I of course can't recall the previous conversation where I mentioned this other kind of Milk Dud:)

I would never get a total kick out of wiping my little guys rear... when there are comments made like, "Look mom, sweet baby girl and I have twin turds... don't mine look just like hers?" I would never think of that as humorous, but would have rather did some talking about how we really don't need to comment on or compare the results of our bodily functions with the results of others.

It was certainly not me who when offered something to drink at our couples bible study the other night... asked for a little "something... something..." instead of my typical water... That couldn't have been me.

It definitely isn't me who is sooo sore from trying to keep up with Jillian Michaels and her 30 day Shred... UGH!

And it couldn't possibly be me who lacks such discipline that I am forcing myself to sit here so I don't get up and go grab that whole dark chocolate candy bar that is calling my name from the pantry...UGH!

There you have it... :)

WELCOME...

WELCOME TO THE WORLD FRANCIS, BEAUDREAUX, BUFURD, FRANCESCA, MAMA ODIE, MOTHER TERESA, AND GUNTHER.

YEAH, IT IS ALWAYS A BIT EXCITING AROUND HERE WHEN THE KIDS GET TO NAME THE NEW RABBITS. THE LAST BATCH THEY NAMED AFTER CHEESES, THIS TIME AROUND THEY WERE DEBATING OVER NAMING THEM AFTER DONUTS... REALLY? CAN THEY TRULY COME UP WITH THAT MANY DIFFERENT DONUT NAMES??? I AM SURE THEY COULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT:) I GUESS THIS TIME THEY JUST DECIDED ON NO REAL THEME TO THE NAMES... UH OH... THAT MEANS THE DONUT THEME WILL PROBABLY HAPPEN THE NEXT GO AROUND.

THE KIDS SILLINESS MAKES ME SMILE:)