Stillbirth...
A word that probably makes most uncomfortable...
A word that if truly thought about probably strikes fear in the hearts of most pregnant women...
What a word... I remember, that was a word that I mulled over and thought about every so often for years...
As a childbirth educator and doula... I had asked myself over and over again, how would I care for a family and the baby (yes, I said the care of the baby... even though he / has already died...the way that the nurses and my family cared for Samuel was so important... they were so respectful and tender with him... meant the world to me then and now!) if they had a still birth and I was their birth doula or the person that had taught them all about the day when their special miracle would arrive...
only to have all of their dreams dashed because of the death of their child before he/she ever drew a breath on earth...
In all honesty... It made me nervous for their sake... I couldn't imagine what they would go through... how I would help them cope in the midst of a delivery like that...
But I was NEVER worried for my own sake when I was the one pregnant with the baby...
I remember plain as day a few weeks before Samuel was born thinking and even telling Greg that I thought this baby was safe... that he/she couldn't have gotten wrapped up in the cord... (he moved around a lot... but not often in those crazy circles or rolling motions where I thought the cord could have been an issue.)
And yet that is where we found ourselves one day after our due date...With a baby that was no longer alive inside of me...
Did you realize that there are 26,000 stillbirths a year in the US... averaging out to about 1 in every 160 births...or about one ever 20 minutes...
Did you realize that there are about 5,000-6,000 SIDS deaths per year in the US...?
Did you realize that in Africa, there are more babies that die as a result of stillbirths than die from AIDS and malaria combined??
Did you know that there are 28,000 babies that die in the first year of life in America??
It breaks my heart to hear of any baby dying... for any reason... 1 baby dying every year would be too many in my opinion...
But it really stuck out to me that there are about 5 times as many deaths each year as a result of stillbirth compared to SIDS deaths... yet there is so much more education and working to prevent SIDS death... (please hear my heart... I am so so very thankful for all the SIDS prevention education... so thankful... just wish there was more stillbirth prevention education)
I can not help but think that the common public or even the medical field doesn't fully understand what a family goes through who is grieving the death of their baby when it wasn't even born yet?
I think that there might be a common thread that most people believe that since that child hadn't breathed a breath yet or that you hadn't experienced a day of life caring for them... that it is somehow easier... I know that I had many imply that after Samuel died... that somehow because it happened before he was born it was better or easier...
I also know that many stillbirths could be prevented through better care and monitoring. After living in the hospital for 7 weeks during my pregnancy with Levi with the health of my placenta under great scrutiny... and experiencing the very thorough ultrasounds three times a week... I know that poor blood flow can be detected fairly easily through looking closely at the cord and also at specific ventricles in the brain... It was amazing how they could tell that Levi was still safer inside than outside of me.
Stillbirth... something that I never really considered could ever happen to me personally... But now that I have lived it, watched many other young women walk the same path in life... now I see the full picture and all that a life lived after a stillbirth of ones child could be like... It is hard, it is gut wrenching at times, it is beautiful... it is scary... it can be lonely... It is a time when the Lord certainly carries you each and every day and faithfully heals your broken heart... but ultimately, it teaches you that EVERY SINGLE SECOND WITH YOUR BABY IS PRECIOUS... in side the womb and out!
Did you realize that in Africa, there are more babies that die as a result of stillbirths than die from AIDS and malaria combined??
Did you know that there are 28,000 babies that die in the first year of life in America??
It breaks my heart to hear of any baby dying... for any reason... 1 baby dying every year would be too many in my opinion...
But it really stuck out to me that there are about 5 times as many deaths each year as a result of stillbirth compared to SIDS deaths... yet there is so much more education and working to prevent SIDS death... (please hear my heart... I am so so very thankful for all the SIDS prevention education... so thankful... just wish there was more stillbirth prevention education)
I can not help but think that the common public or even the medical field doesn't fully understand what a family goes through who is grieving the death of their baby when it wasn't even born yet?
I think that there might be a common thread that most people believe that since that child hadn't breathed a breath yet or that you hadn't experienced a day of life caring for them... that it is somehow easier... I know that I had many imply that after Samuel died... that somehow because it happened before he was born it was better or easier...
I also know that many stillbirths could be prevented through better care and monitoring. After living in the hospital for 7 weeks during my pregnancy with Levi with the health of my placenta under great scrutiny... and experiencing the very thorough ultrasounds three times a week... I know that poor blood flow can be detected fairly easily through looking closely at the cord and also at specific ventricles in the brain... It was amazing how they could tell that Levi was still safer inside than outside of me.
Stillbirth... something that I never really considered could ever happen to me personally... But now that I have lived it, watched many other young women walk the same path in life... now I see the full picture and all that a life lived after a stillbirth of ones child could be like... It is hard, it is gut wrenching at times, it is beautiful... it is scary... it can be lonely... It is a time when the Lord certainly carries you each and every day and faithfully heals your broken heart... but ultimately, it teaches you that EVERY SINGLE SECOND WITH YOUR BABY IS PRECIOUS... in side the womb and out!
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