I debated on if I should respond to it at all...
I showed it to Greg, and the older boys happened to over hear, and they all had their own personal responses... :)
Honestly, I had to laugh about the whole ridiculousness of the comment itself...
But I am responding to it because I want this person to know that I am praying for them... Praying for the Lord to help them to realize that each and every child is a precious and unique gift from Him...
This person obviously has never lost a child nor read my blog in the past...
As far as replacement babies go...
For me... losing Samuel has turned me into a mama bear as far as his memory goes... I am fiercely serious about honoring his memory and all of the things that make him the perfect unique creation that God made him... NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE HIS PLACE... it is impossible!
Had we not lost Samuel... we still would have added to our family, Lord willing...
And as far as this sweet little miracle Levi, that has joined our family... I would have loved this little beauty just the same had he come before or after Samuel.
His miracle embryo adoption story makes him all the more his very own person, with his VERY own extemely special place in our family... (just the other day, I was waiting for 2 MEND friends outside of a restaurant and another couple came up to me and were commenting on Levi...( I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF BUT TO EXPLAIN HOW HE CAME TO BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY... I Love sharing about the goodness and faithfulness of our God in bringing Levi safely to our family:)
When people have made some of their cliche comments about our loss...for example...Even though you lost Samuel, you need to be so thankful for the kids that you do have... I, a lot of times respond by sharing...
I have 2 arms and 2 legs and yes I am so very thankful for them all... but if I lost a leg... I would still be so thankful for the other leg and my arms... but would I not miss that leg? Of course I would miss having my second leg...
As far as a replacement goes... even if I got a prosthetic leg... it could never replace my other leg... it would be totally different... would I be thrilled to have the new leg? ABSOLUTELY! But would there be times that I still missed my original leg? Of course... that is because nothing could replace the old leg... it would always be different.
I could have 100 kids... and still miss Samuel, still wish he was here growing up with the rest of us.
I am thrilled beyond belief to have our new son here...thrilled beyond belief that the Lord has blessed us in this way, by giving us the desire of our hearts... but Levi could never replace Samuel... they each will ALWAYS ... ALWAYS have their very own special place in our family... just like Hope does, who also came after Samuel.... Just like Louis, Caleb, Anna, and Elijah have as well!
And I can GUARANTEE YOU, this sweet little Levi will NEVER doubt that he is loved deeply just for being who God made him to be... in fact, I am pretty sure that he is feeling pretty smothered in love these days... no lack of love from any of the hearts in this home:)
So there is my take on replacement babies... THERE IS NO SUCH THING... AT LEAST NOT IN THIS HOUSE:)...
WE ARE SO VERY THANKFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY PRECIOUS CHILD THAT THE LORD GIVES TO US:)... NO MATTER HOW AND WHEN HE CHOOSES TO GIVE THEM:)
FOR...
You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well!
Psalm 139:13-14
This little guy is looking like he was knit together pretty beautifully by our Gracious Heavenly Father... His works sure are WONDERFUL!!
Knit together beautifully from the top of his head down to the bottom of his sweet little feet:)
10 comments:
Thank you, Sara, for sharing your heart. You are a wonderful mother and your children are blessed to have you to love them all as precious individual souls. Those of us who know your story and share in your pain can so easily identify with what you have said here. Another child brings more blessings. Thank you for your openness to life.
Umm, sorry that was my post that was deleted. It's a little late. Love you friend, and every one of your babies. Molly said it so well and it breaks my heart to see this post from you knowing what all your heart has gone through having to say goodbye to Samuel too soon. Another thought I had was that I think someone who has lost a parent figure could relate, or experienced divorce in their family could relate. You would not ever be able to "replace" a valuable loved one. Love you. Already said that :)
Sara, I'm so sorry someone left such a rude comment on your blog. Clearly they have not lost a child nor do they know your heart. There is no such thing as a replacement baby, and I think you addressed this issue very well. Love and miss you!
Thanx for sharing Aunt Sara. I know that Samuel can never be replaced. I miss him very much and wish I could have gotten to know him and watched him grow up along with you guys. Levi is so sweet and I love him to death but agree that he isn't (and can't) be a replacement for Samuel. Each baby is precious in their own way! Love you.
I agree with what you said Aunt Sara :) Samuel is someone that can never be replaced. We will always remember him, and I can't wait to finally meet him someday in heaven. And you never adopted Levi or Hope because you wanted to replace him. Samuel, Hope, and Levi are all so special. And are each a precious miracle from God. Love you!
The post above was from me Aunt Sara. I didn't know that I was signed into Gracies account, haha sorry
Sara, I read this late last night and spend a good 5 minutes lying in bed thinking up responses to your anon commenter.
I'm so sorry that they chose to post something so hurtful and ignorant. I wonder what their intent was in commenting on your post? Especially as anon.
I think you said it best, we need to pray for them b/c there is obviously something sad and painful going on in their heart.
I love you, Sara. You are a true model of hope and you point me Jesus all the time.
Your children are all treasured and loved. No one could doubt that.
love,
ebe
wow.
I just read the comment and it made me feel sick to my stomach! That must have stung! I think you responded very graciously and Christ-like.
And...as another mother who has had more children after losing one I shudder at the thought of them being called replacement babies.
Also speaking from experience, I truly believe that there is a part of a grieving mother's heart that will not heal (maybe "heal" is not the right word...maybe, be at rest) until she is able to hold a safe & healthy baby of her own again. And this by no means makes that baby a replacement baby. I could go on and on, but there's no reason to preach to the converted ;)
So happy for you Sara (and family!!) and I'm so happy that Levi is a part of your family now!
Sara,
I don't think you could have said it any better! I'm so sorry that someone left such a hurtful comment on your blog. You are such an amazing and wonderful mom. I just love you so much! I can't wait to see you tomorrow!
Michelle
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