MORE ON OUR MIRACLE PART ONE:)

A PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD PART ONE:

I have a feeling this is going to take a few posts to explain this miracle to you all, and I can't wait.

First of all, it is really early in this pregnancy. I share with you all, because I know many of you have prayed for us through many ups and downs of the past couple of years. I now want to share our joy and blessing with you, but also ask for you to pray for this little one that is growing inside of me. We are celebrating this life now... we know first hand that we have no idea the number of this little ones days... We know God knows that exact number and this little one will be a part of our lives for as long as the He allows... so we celebrate now... pray that this little one will be a part of our life for a VERY LONG time, but trust God with His plan for our family. Would you pray for this little one with us?

I also wanted to share because I am just totally in awe of how God brought this baby to us and He deserves all the glory:)

So here is where the story begins... last November, I believe. We had been waiting to adopt since January 09. We had Faith living with us in the summer of 09 and we all know that ended with the baby that we were to adopt Joel, being stillborn at 28 weeks. In August we started to move forward to work with another agency, Deaconess in Oklahoma City, in addition to CPO. We had heard that they were in need of more adoptive parents who were willing to adopt children of other races. We jumped on board... praying and knowing that the Lord knew the exact child He would bring to us.

So this whole time our plan was to adopt... We have always wanted to adopt, God laid that on our hearts years ago... we just never knew how it would all play out... (Now to see it all in hindsight is such an awesome thing... totally His work) At the same time, I have felt since losing Samuel full term and having to experience the whole delivering a lifeless child... that my hearts desire was to carry another baby. (Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I would take 15 kids if that is what the Lord would bless us with... I don't think Greg feels quite the same way... but doesn't ever want to limit God in how He blesses us either:)

To carry another baby had nothing... NOTHING...NOTHING to do with replacing Samuel... but to have a pregnancy end differently (I obviously know that there is no guarantee that it would end differently) I feel would bring healing to a part of me that may not come any other way. (Remember prior to having Samuel I was a natural childbirth teacher and a child birth doula. Pregnancy and childbirth... those were 2 of my greatest loves... much of that has changed since having Samuel... There is a whole lot emotionally that happens in the delivery room, and I am not quite sure I could go there again in the supportive role that I used to have... does that make sense?)

Sure, we desired to carry another baby... but remember I am 38 and have fertility issues since day one at the age of 23. Now do I know that God is in control of that all? 100 %! Could He bless us with a baby in my womb whenever He sees fit... definitely... So we just kept trying and waiting to adopt at the same time:) It is such a surrendering daily to His will, not ours... and His timing not ours...

Ok... so here is where the story gets exciting... to see thebeginnings of His plan start to come about. All of this to bring me to last November 09. We were in the car driving somewhere and I had brought an article from a STEPPING STONES magazine. This is a magazine put out by Bethany Christian Services to couples who struggle with infertility. A dear friend of my mothers had sent it to us because it had an article about grief in it. But on the back cover there was a short article on .... EMBRYO ADOPTION...

First of all...did you know...

That there are between 400,000 and 500,000 embryos frozen in the US... These are babies (we believe life begins at conception... so to us these are babies:) that resulted from InVitro Fertilization procedures all over the US. Typically when a couple does IVF they fertilize numerous eggs resulting in any number of babies/embryos... I have even heard of up to 24 embryos being made... Now when that couple has the number of children they desire from those embryos, they may have some left over... that is where the 400,000-500.000 frozen embryo stat comes from.

These parents then have 4 options...

destroy the embryos/babies

donate them to medical research

continue storing them until they come to some sort of decision

donate the embryos for someone else to use...

Immediately this article peaked my interest and Greg and I started talking... here were some of our thoughts.

Wow... 400,000- 500,000 frozen babies in the US alone...

We were already waiting to adopt a child...

We were totally cool with having a child that is not biologically ours...

These babies deserve a chance at life...

Would it be possible to adopt some embryos and maybe actually get to carry the baby we were to adopt...(now stay with me here, I know it seems kind of wild... but to us it seemed like a win win situation... we could be giving some babies a chance at life and we could possibly have all the benefits of pregnancy,(yes I am one of the crazy ones who love being pregnant) carrying the baby, bonding with the baby prior to birth, even nursing that baby... ) It just seemed like a hugely intriguing prospect... Greg and I talked and decided that I would call the fertility clinic here to see if they had an embryo donation program at all...

Low and behold they did, and Greg and I had an appt. set up to go talk with them the next week. After talking with the Doctor she thought it was a great option for us.

Let me say first, we never considered IVF for us... it just didn't at all seem like the right fit for us... I would never judge anyone who does do it... and I strongly feel you can't judge until you have walked in that persons shoes... I have seen over and over in past years people question fertility practices (ok, I get Octomom and all:) but when someone conceives easily they really have NO IDEA what it is like to struggle with infertility... and we use Doctors for other things when our body isn't working properly...anyways... I will get off my soapbox...:) Ultimately, even with fertility procedures... I totally feel God is the giver and creator of life...

Ok there were a couple of things that struck me after talking to my doctor at the fertility clinic here ... I was amazed to hear that there were certain embryos that people were less likely to take because of the race or possible appearance of the potential child... for example a red head or a child of another race... oh that just hurt my heart... they all deserve a chance at life no matter what they look like. I guess our perspective is a little different. Maybe for someone who doesn't have any biological children, the need for someone to resemble you a little more closely may be more important. But for us... seeing as how we were really waiting to adopt a baby that would most likely be biracial, we were fine with whatever:)

So we were put on the waiting list with that clinic...

We really felt like we were opening a door and we would see if God closed it or worked through it... He did work... but once again not in the way we expected at all...

Thanks for hanging with me... that was a lot of info...

MORE TO COME SOON...hopefully tomorrow...