Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Here is a picture of all the cousins on Sunday night before we left on Monday morning. It was sort of a throw it together sort of gathering at my parents house. We literally had maybe 2 hours with all of us there. That hasn't happened in over 2 years. It was really nice... but I do have to admit that my heart was a bit sore, that is the only way I can describe it. I can't tell you how many times I heard that night, "Wow, we are all together... everyone is here." I know others don't think twice about a comment like that. I would never hold it against anyone, but I do hear it differently for-sure. Over and over that night, my heart just broke in two...knowing my son was missing... never would be part of the big family get togethers... never would get to play with his 2 boy cousins born with in a year of his death. At the same time it was really nice, just a bit bitter sweet for me. It is funny all the situations that used to be perfectly easy and wonderful, are now wonderful... just difficult at the same time. It was fun to see the cousins together and be with my siblings and their spouses. And praise God I remember having a really good laugh in the kitchen after dinner... a truly gut level laugh and it felt good...
I just had to laugh at the tube's name... BIG MABLE. I think that is hilarious. The kids had a blast riding on it at the cabin. We were really fortunate to spend a day with my brother and sister in law Katy up there. And they left Ella and Grace with us for the week so the kids had a ball together. It is absolutely one of the nicest places to vacation ever. We were so blessed to be able to finally get back up there after 2 years. There is something so special about the north woods. Unfortunately a lot of my pictures from up there didn't save on my memory card. I had a great one with my parents and the kids that was lost. Big bummer.

We had not met my nephew Elias until this trip. We just laughed... the kids thought he looked like Hansel from Hansel and Gretel... he really kind of did... such a precious little guy. The kids loved getting to play with Will and SaraBeth too:)

Jo and Will by the chicken coop. My parents live on a big plot of land with my two older brothers and their families. It is a great place to run around and explore as well as see all kind of wild life and great pets including, horses, chickens, goats, llamas, cats and dogs...

Anna and her two cousins, Isabella and Sara Beth... we like to call Isabella, Gretel:) She is the most precious petite thing ever.
I was so thankful that my little sister Beth's family was able to come over from Boston. I hadn't seen her since when she came out for Samuel's memorial service. Wow, my sister has put up with many a depressing conversation over the last almost 2 years. Really, we have always been close, but she was incredibly gracious to truly be there for me... way more so than I would have ever imagined . She would just listen over the phone, cry with me, let me be right where I was at (whether that was in a place of total anger, complete despair, loneliness, emptiness...all of it) and the crazy thing was she would always call back and do it all over again the next week if need be. I cry just sitting here thinking about it. She was incredibly patient and understanding with me through her pregnancy with Elias. As much as in my heart I wanted to be more a part of it... I just couldn't, it was too hard... my wound was still too fresh just 4 months after Samuel's death and she was fine with that. Really there are times, that I still wonder how we navigated that... God was gracious that is for sure.
Anyways, I love my sister Beth, and am so thankful that God gave her to me. It makes my heart leap for joy that Anna now has a sister to grow up with. Of course I don't think I have any pictures of us together except for the big family picture, I will try to post tomorrow. I am glad I finally got these pictures posted... but there are a couple more I will try to get to soon.


Stacy said...

What great pictures! It looks (and sounds) like you had a wonderful time with your family and many precious memories were created and shared, to be remembered by the cousins in years to come. I love it when our kids can get together with their cousins. I know how hard that can be when everyone lives many miles away.

I also feel your heartache in the simple group pictures. How we so want our children to be remembered, each one of them. The simple things are sometimes the hardest, aren't they! One day in heaven there will be a grand picture taken of the family of God and there your sweet Samuel will be amidst all of his precious family members.

Looking forward to seeing the rest of the pictures! Praying you are feeling well.

Much love,

Ebe said...

Oh, Sara. I often feel this way when family talks about Hannah being the first grandchild or the first great-grandchild. It hurts. Owen is always the first, but it's easy (for others) to forget because he's not ever present in their minds like he is in mine.
I think about Samuel and Grady and Caleb and Owen and so many others every day.

It looks like you had such a good time up North. I'm so glad to hear that!