A FEW MORE DETAILS

Ahhh... I am completely wiped out, but want to give a few more details... as much as I can share here. I wish I could be completely forthright on this all, but given the smallness of blog world... I will share what I think is safe to share.

We are thanking and praising God that we got to bring that sweet little girl home with us tonight. Basically, that is absolutely wonderful news, but this is farrrrr from over. I long for the day when I can look at her with complete peace in my heart and say, "You my precious dear, are my daughter." There should be 2 more situations like today in the next couple of months... yep, you heard me right, we won't know for sure the final outcome for at least that long... At this point we are pretty sure that she will be here with us for approximately the next month... that really is the best case scenario for now... If there are any appeals, which seem likely, who knows.... right now, I don't even want to go there... I am just happy for where we are at tonight.... happy to know that she will be here tomorrow morning when I wake up.

Honestly, I didn't really didn't let myself completely go to the point of thinking about what it would have been like had it not gone our way. There were a few moments when I thought about it and completely lost it, but I would just gather myself together and not go there fully thinking it through. I knew it could very easily go either way, but didn't emotionally think through all that would have meant, truly how different tonight could have been. Praise God we were able to tuck the kids in bed and everyone was happy and thankful for how things went... Lots of praising God in this house tonight.

So now knowing that this WILL be drug out for a while longer, I feel worn out with it already. I really just want to have a final answer. But in the waiting that I know is inevitable, I just want to have peace in my heart. It is a struggle. She is here, we feel greatly blessed to have this opportunity to have her in our home... to love her just like we love our others, just like she will be ours forever. She is a part of our family already. That is what you get if you enter this house... you become family. When sweet Faith was here last summer she was a part of this family too. That is what she gets from us:) and what she deserves... yet how do you continue to guard your heart when you want it so badly? Truly, I want to just be thankful to have the opportunity to love her for as long as we have it... to know that God placed her with us for such a time as this, for as long as He sees fit. That God is blessing her and us with each other for a time when this family was in need of great healing and she really is helping to bring some... But to just be content with the next month or two is so much more easily said than done. Thinking of the other possible outcome, breaks my heart in two. I want more than just 1 more month... I want forever...

So I leave you with a thankful heart for where we are tonight... trying not to worry about what tomorrow holds, or what the next month holds... clinging tightly to the one who I KNOW holds tomorrow... and the many tomorrows after...

I am so thankful too for your prayers, love and encouragement... hoping one day I can post a picture of that sweet little thing sleeping soundly closeby:)... she really is precious...