Kaliyah Joy!

Kaliyah Joy made her arrival yesterday 12/23/2015 at 5:50 pm. 

She was born healthy and Greg and I were both able to witness her arrival into this world and her first breath!  What an incredible gift that was from her birth mom!  We hadn't even talked about who would be in there room so this was a total bonus for us! 

She was 8lb. 4oz. and 20 inches long...

She is precious and perfect in every way:) 

Pics to come as soon as we are able to post... 
We are so incredibly thankful for this perfect Christmas gift this year!  

Praying that you too are celebrating Jesus Birthday with those you love! 

On the road again

We start our road trip out with a beautiful Illinois sunset... 

The kids were so thankful for the group Christmas present from grandparents of a car DVD player and headphones... So were mom and dad... a much quieter ride and less potty stops:):)

A super quick stop in OK... literally we pulled in at 2 am... visited for a bit, jumped in bed, had a delicious breakfast with friends, visited a bit more, and hit the road for AZ!!!

We were sent on the road with the newly anticipated member of the crew on the back window... Yoda for now... baby girl coming soon!

Late night potty and drink stops:)

Finally asleep at the hotel... night 2 on the road!

AZ sunrise... It was beautiful... unfortunately in the opposite direction it was dark and cloudy... We hit a lot of snow and fog up on the rim... It was almost a white out for a bit... and we are not new to snow... While we don't mind driving in snow, we know our van drives terrible in snow especially on the mountain passes... Praise God it cleared up pretty quickly!  And we made it to our destination earlier today! We are so thankful for God's protection!

We spent the afternoon celebrating our birth mom's older daughter's birthday.  We were then able to take our birthmom to eat dinner.  It was great for Greg and I to spend some time with just her... We were so thankful for the opportunity to get to know even more about her. We know this will be important to our daughter down the road!:)

And now we wait again... Induction scheduled for the 23rd early in the morning!  She could still go before that... We shall see!  God knows the perfect timing in all things!

Keeping busy!

T -minus 2 days till we hit the road...
T- minus 6 days till induction... So the 21st turned into the 23rd for induction.  The hospital was booked.   They have her on a wait list for the 21st, so there is a chance baby girl could arrive earlier than the 23rd:)  God willing!

So our birth mom will be induced at 4am on the 23rd and Greg leaves at 2am on the 24th to head home for the 4 Christmas Eve services.  He has to sign papers in AZ after the baby is born.  Please pray with us that she will go fast enough to allow that to happen.  Her last labor was 2 hours... She is 4cm and 80% effaced so it seems like this would be able to work out.  Right now we don't know if he will come back out at all.  We will see... At this point we are taking it one day at a time:) We will see what tomorrow holds... maybe a baby:):)

Oh my goodness the amount of things to do is a bit overwhelming if I think about it, but I know God will provide the time or multiply my time to make it all happen!

Isaiah is not so sure what to think about all this crazy commotion going on!  

The kids at the Birthday Party for Jesus... Isaiah wouldn't take his Olaf hat off to save his life... so funny!

My view out my front window one night at sunset.  It was 59 degrees here today... Crazy weather we are having.  There won't be a white Christmas that is for sure:)

My little rascal after face painting at the Birthday Party for Jesus!  Those eyes!!!

The generosity of our St. Peter family.  God is overflowing with grace to cover us each day... just like the Giving Tree Presents are overflowing!

So we wait... The baby we thought could easily arrive 2+ weeks ago seems pretty content in that warm womb... We prepare... we pack... we clean... We plan for subs... Getting all set for sweet baby girl!

Advent... We wait...

It is the season of Advent... and we wait...

We light our Advent wreath at night... We read our advent devotional book... we wait...

We await the coming of a babe... our Savior Jesus being born in a humble manger...
We wait as we anticipate celebrating His birthday and our God coming to us in Human form...
And we await Him coming again a second time... Oh how I long for that day...

Sometimeswith the amount of bad things going on in the world, my heart cries... "Lord, how much longer... don't tarry long Father... Come back soon!

Wow!  Christmas is a mere 11 days away... That seems impossible...

And induction day for our birth mom is only 7 days away... That seems even more impossible.

Our house is over flowing with blessings...
Girl Clothes from a friend of ours...
A car seat given to us...
Clothing intended for my dear friends daughter who was stillborn being lent to us for this little one coming... (I know what a big deal that is... clothes intended for sweet baby Emily... now being shared graciously with us...)
A onesie sent from friends who always seem to remember us at special times...
A sleeper sent from one of my dearest friends... specifically one that almost matches the one she bought for our Samuel over 7 years ago... How kind to be that intentional on remembering even now our precious baby boy...
My first rustic cuff, out of the blue from the boys old youth director...

I could go on and on ...

We are so very thankful for God's faithful provision... Adoption isn't easy... Adoption can be stressful... Adoption doesn't always turn out the way you are planning... Adoption is financially draining... and most IMPORTANTLY...

ADOPTION IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!  ADOPTION IS SUCH A GIFT AND WONDERFUL BLESSING!  

This came in the mail from SHOW HOPE ... The timing was perfect...
Sweet new baby girl... 5 days and we are coming for you... And our hearts are thrilled!

Yeah, that would be it...

Those terrible  kidney stones...

I have had so many x-rays this fall... 

And my last one revealed this...

 A whole line up of stones forming a bit of a blockage... There they are, clear as day! They since have moved and been passed... Now I have another x-ray and ultrasound so that they can make sure they have proof that all have passed...

Goodness, if it isn't one thing... it is another... I guess it is good, a bit of extra things to take out mind off of the waiting for baby girl to show up at any time situation:):) 

Honestly, I feel great and am soooo thankful to feeling so weell! 

How do you???

We are back from the quickest trip to AZ known to this family:)
Anna and I were so blessed to get cheap tickets to head out and meet our birth mom and her precious older daughter...  What an amazing time...

Anna and her older daughter became fast friends.  They were so precious together and them getting along means more than you can imagine to me... 

Here is my beautiful friend Kimmey Sue who is loving daily on our birth mom and is taking such great care of her and her daughter...  She is a busy mom to 7 and yet she is ministering to them with such love, compassion, and joy!  (We were out for walk enjoying the beautiful AZ weather and landscape... OH MY GOODNESS, it was 78 degrees that day... Gorgeous!! )

Sorry had to include another cactus... Those things are so cool!

Anna and Baby girl's sweet older sister making a build a bear for the baby... Now she will have something to share with her baby sister...

How do you adequately put into words what a weekend like last weekend means??? 

It is next to impossible...

How do you express to someone you just met who is potentially carrying a baby that you will raise as your own... the amount of love you instantly have for them??

How do you tell someone the immense gratefulness that you have for them in choosing life for this precious baby they are carrying?  Things could in a very real way have turned out totally different...

How do you tell someone how much you admire, honor, and respect them for making the decision that they are planning to make???

How do you express to someone that if things go as planned you TRULY see them as a part of your family as well???

How do you share with them how much your heart breaks imagining and also knowing the pain they will endure when they have to walk out of the hospital empty handed after carrying a baby inside for 9 months???

How do you share with them your hopes and dreams for this little one, for your family, and for theirs when they go home when you see so much strength, beauty, and bravery in them even after such a short time with them???

How do you share all of this???  Well quite honestly, you just do... you open up your mouth and let the words come... really... more like Pray and let the Lord lead... :)

I am TOTALLY in awe of our gracious God and the miraculous ways HE worked this past weekend...

On Sunday we picked them up for worship and there I sat next to the sweet lady that is carrying my baby... God willing... Right there next to me, in her stomach... our baby... God willing... Wooh... at times, it was too much... God is so good!

Even right after church we started talking about the hard things... How do you help your older daughter through this?  I was able to quickly and clearly articulate that if we do indeed raise this sweet little one, that we hope and pray they can be a part of our family as well... Ultimately, it is in her hands to do whatever she feels she is comfortable with ... her heart may need time to heal... 

But her response to me warmed my heart... She has told her daughter that it will be like she is gaining a whole bunch of brothers and sisters... BEAUTIFUL!!!  The amazing gift of open adoption to both families...

We dropped the kids off at home to be watched by the older kids and the moms had some lunch and got a pedicure... It was such an amazing treat for me... But even more amazing to do it with her and my sweet friend...

We went back home and spent the rest of the day letting the kids play and getting to know each other better.  We sat on the back porch and talked for a couple of hours... 

She shared many things that gave me a clearer picture of her life and the pain she has experienced... There were many times... I had to hold back the tears... And I was able to really express to her how I feel about the sacrifice she is making and my tenderness towards her time in the hospital and when she has to leave... 

Moments shared that only occurred by the Grace of God!  I am an open book... and she was very receptive and so open to sharing in return... 

We even named this sweet baby girl together... Honestly, I can hardly believe it...  It was such a precious time for me.  I do not take this for granted that I had the privilege of getting to know her more... 

God takes two completely different people who already love this little one... forges a bond of moms that only He could do... weaves our stories and families together  in a whole new way... 

While we maybe getting a precious child out of the adoption process, it is really SO MUCH MORE!!!  I pray we can be a blessing to both she and her older daughter as we pray for them, minister to them, and love on them... 

But really they are such a blessing to us... God is using her and has used the birth families of Isaiah and Hope to open our eyes to a whole new world and for that I am so grateful... (We are so blessed by Levi's family... they just seem to be pretty similar to us:)  Besides, we also get the HUGE bonus of understanding our kids roots better and in a clearer way...

 All of this is such a gift to my heart!  

Do I sound like I am getting ahead of myself... She is going to have this baby in 12 days or less... and yes, she could change her mind...

Would I be sad?  Totally, ( that is an understatement!!!  But we are trusting that this little one will end up exactly where God wants her... And the time invested isn't in vain no matter the outcome... While it can be a bit emotionally draining... It is so worth it... every single second... 

Thanks for coming along on the journey!

The Beautifullness... The Brokenness...

Friends...
My mind has been swirling with much lately...
We are less than 3 weeks out from God willing, meeting our new baby girl...

3 weeks is going to fly by...

And given that our birth mom is 4 cm. dilated and yesterday thought her water broke... HELLO????  It could be anytime:) OH.MY.GOODNESS... IT COULD BE ANYTIME!!!!

And as we prepare and await this precious ones arrival... not a bit of this story is lost on me... not for a moment...
(In fact last night as I was frantically trying to adjust flights to get out there when she was at the hospital checking on the water situation... I was also at the same moment mentally preparing to go lead our MEND infant loss support group... knowing full well there would be many moms who had recently lost the precious babies they loved, adored, and anticipated... Really,  I don't at all take for granted that this baby will be born healthy and alive...  I know this precious life is in God's hands...

I am in awe of a gracious God who is allowing us the opportunity to walk this adoption journey one more time...

I am in awe of this sweet mama who has been through so much and is so unselfish to make an adoption plan for her little girl...

I know what it is like to leave the hospital with out your baby that you carried within you for 9 months... granted, I didn't have any choice in the matter when Samuel died... But she does have a choice (could that be even harder... I think I am too selfish sadly and wouldn't be able to do it...) and at this point she is planning to consciously make a decision to hand this beautiful baby over from her arms to another mama... I am completely HUMBLED and GRATEFUL beyond words. 

At times I literally feel stripped bare... there is so much to take in and absorb when I look at all the details that surround adoption... I don't feel adequate to be a part of this beautiful story...

To me it is the perfect picture of what the Heavenly Father does for us... Willingly sacrificed his son, so that you and I could be called his own... Even though we were and still are so unworthy... He adopted into His family, the faith family... He made us His children... What a gift!!! 

Some people may think because of difficult things surrounding how this pregnancy came to be to begin with, or the fact that our birthmom doesn't have a place to call home that this decision could be easier for her, since she can't really provide for the baby.

I don't really buy that for a second... I am a mama, and not for a moment do I look at this situation and not see fully the hurt, the brokenness that surrounds adoption... Someones heart is going to be broken... there really isn't any way around it...

There is great PAIN to labor and deliver a baby...
great SACRIFICE to willingly give that child up, (and and most likely down the road for our children as they get old enough to fully understand their stories)...
and there is great LOVE given to give this sweet child life....

For this baby, her story could have gone many different ways and ended long before now... and we praise God that he has spared her life and that the birth mom is doing really well right now...

ADOPTION... Full of brokenness and beauty all at the same time... for so many people... It is true... Joy and pain can coexist... Brokenness and beauty as well...

We so appreciate your prayers...

For this sweet birth mom and the precious little one that she is carrying...

That God would fill her with his undeniable peace and comfort...

For the induction on the 21st to go smoothly and that their lives would be protected...(if she doesn't deliver before then... )

For this sweet mama... as it looks... if she has the baby on the 21st, she would have to terminate her rights 72 hours later... likely on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day... can you imagine?  My heart breaks for her..

That the God's prefect timing as far as travel would work out well for this large family...

That I will be able to find a decently priced ticket when the time comes for me to get out there ASAP.

For safety and protection for Greg and the kids who will travel by van right away as well... (we are extremely blessed to have dear friends that are willing to house us while we are out in AZ... I don't take that for granted... How many people are willing to welcome a family of 10 into their home right over Christmas??:) 

God knows each and every detail of this story and we are trusting Him fully as we walk through this journey... He has faithfully walked with us, carried us when needed... and we are so grateful for every bit of this story!  To God be the Glory!