My mind has been swirling with much lately...
We are less than 3 weeks out from God willing, meeting our new baby girl...
3 weeks is going to fly by...
And given that our birth mom is 4 cm. dilated and yesterday thought her water broke... HELLO???? It could be anytime:) OH.MY.GOODNESS... IT COULD BE ANYTIME!!!!
And as we prepare and await this precious ones arrival... not a bit of this story is lost on me... not for a moment...
(In fact last night as I was frantically trying to adjust flights to get out there when she was at the hospital checking on the water situation... I was also at the same moment mentally preparing to go lead our MEND infant loss support group... knowing full well there would be many moms who had recently lost the precious babies they loved, adored, and anticipated... Really, I don't at all take for granted that this baby will be born healthy and alive... I know this precious life is in God's hands...
I am in awe of a gracious God who is allowing us the opportunity to walk this adoption journey one more time...
I am in awe of this sweet mama who has been through so much and is so unselfish to make an adoption plan for her little girl...
I know what it is like to leave the hospital with out your baby that you carried within you for 9 months... granted, I didn't have any choice in the matter when Samuel died... But she does have a choice (could that be even harder... I think I am too selfish sadly and wouldn't be able to do it...) and at this point she is planning to consciously make a decision to hand this beautiful baby over from her arms to another mama... I am completely HUMBLED and GRATEFUL beyond words.
At times I literally feel stripped bare... there is so much to take in and absorb when I look at all the details that surround adoption... I don't feel adequate to be a part of this beautiful story...
To me it is the perfect picture of what the Heavenly Father does for us... Willingly sacrificed his son, so that you and I could be called his own... Even though we were and still are so unworthy... He adopted into His family, the faith family... He made us His children... What a gift!!!
Some people may think because of difficult things surrounding how this pregnancy came to be to begin with, or the fact that our birthmom doesn't have a place to call home that this decision could be easier for her, since she can't really provide for the baby.
I don't really buy that for a second... I am a mama, and not for a moment do I look at this situation and not see fully the hurt, the brokenness that surrounds adoption... Someones heart is going to be broken... there really isn't any way around it...
There is great PAIN to labor and deliver a baby...
great SACRIFICE to willingly give that child up, (and and most likely down the road for our children as they get old enough to fully understand their stories)...
and there is great LOVE given to give this sweet child life....
For this baby, her story could have gone many different ways and ended long before now... and we praise God that he has spared her life and that the birth mom is doing really well right now...
ADOPTION... Full of brokenness and beauty all at the same time... for so many people... It is true... Joy and pain can coexist... Brokenness and beauty as well...
We so appreciate your prayers...
For this sweet birth mom and the precious little one that she is carrying...
That God would fill her with his undeniable peace and comfort...
For the induction on the 21st to go smoothly and that their lives would be protected...(if she doesn't deliver before then... )
For this sweet mama... as it looks... if she has the baby on the 21st, she would have to terminate her rights 72 hours later... likely on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day... can you imagine? My heart breaks for her..
That the God's prefect timing as far as travel would work out well for this large family...
That I will be able to find a decently priced ticket when the time comes for me to get out there ASAP.
For safety and protection for Greg and the kids who will travel by van right away as well... (we are extremely blessed to have dear friends that are willing to house us while we are out in AZ... I don't take that for granted... How many people are willing to welcome a family of 10 into their home right over Christmas??:)
God knows each and every detail of this story and we are trusting Him fully as we walk through this journey... He has faithfully walked with us, carried us when needed... and we are so grateful for every bit of this story! To God be the Glory!
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