OPEN ADOPTION... 2 WORDS THAT STRIKE FEAR IN SOME...
We have open adoptions with all of our adopted children. They are all unique situations and with each one we have had different levels of openness...
My basic opinion on open adoptions???
1st thing... I try to put myself in my child's birth mom's position... if I literally grew a child in my womb and had to give them to someone else to raise (whatever the reason) I would probably give anything to see them, what they look like, especially that they are safe and happy...
How can I not give a birth mom that opportunity when they have given us so much??? (as long as it is safe and in the best interest of our child:)
2nd thing... I really think that including the birth parents in my child's life, is giving my child the chance to be loved by more people.
3rd thing... I think including the birth parents in my child's life takes away some of the unknown for the future... that child can't really have a fantasy opinion of what that birth mom or dad might be like if they know them, it takes a whole lot of questions out of the equation for their life... they already know some of the answers...
(I could go on and on on my other thoughts about our open adoptions, but those are my basic thoughts on open adoption in a nutshell:) I know too, that sometimes openness just can't even happen in some adoptions due to different circumstances beyond anyone's control)
We have an arrangement with Isaiah's birth mom. We have seen her and Isaiah's birth father a handful of times at the agency before we moved. I also have her email address to email her photos every once in a while. To be perfectly honest, I had a mix up on her email at one point and then WE MOVED...
I felt terrible that I hadn't sent her as many photos as I would have liked... packing, unpacking, computer in boxes, no Internet... on and on the craziness went...
But 2 nights ago I sent her a few pics of this sweet pumpkin and her response had me in tears...
Basically, she gave me an update on what has been going on in her life... Rough stuff... My heart just broke for her... some of the same things that she has gone through in the past... but honestly, it sort of made me want to adopt her... She isn't young by any means, 34 years old, but I just wanted to scoop her up and take care of her... (I remember thinking the same thing at the hospital the first time I met her) I can't explain the love that I have for her...
She said how much she missed him, but that she trusted fully in God's plan for Isaiah's life. She said that she was so thankful that it was us parenting Isaiah, that she had no worries with me mothering a child from her womb. When Isaiah was born at 7 months and came out perfect, she said she knew the Lord was involved with his life...
She was overwhelmed with tears and with love for us for loving her son. She even expressed how much she wanted him to know that she loves him... that if something should happen to her, that we make sure he knows she loved him... And that we would lead him to know his Savior so that she could one day see him again...
Oh my goodness... the beauty and pain of adoption... Here I sit with the precious, miracle baby in my life... I was in tears... I love this mama SO VERY MUCH! How could I not? She willingly sacrificed so much so we could be his parents. She literally handed him over to us... no strings attached and trusted us with his life. She did the hard thing... knowing she couldn't parent him... but first to give him life... then to give his life over to us to raise him.
I look at him and marvel at the goodness of the Lord. He is perfect for our family. We are so in love with him... There are many many times I have to remind myself that this little man didn't come from my own body... Oh the joy he brings us...
It is almost too much for me to take sometimes.... The love I know she has for him... the Love we have for him and her...
Adoption...
What a miracle from our Heavenly Father... only He could work such beauty and love from such challenging circumstances... He is so good...
Pretty Irresistible huh???
2 comments:
Such beautiful words! You and your family are truly a blessing to those around you. Praising God you decided to come to Schaumburg.
Tears* That was so sweet and touching...the way I think adoption should be. My mom was adopted and found out at 13 from a friend at school. It ended up being fine and worked out with a happy ending but wow so shocking to find that out one day at school. SO glad you have this sweet beautiful boy in your family!
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