Monday, February 4, 2013

SWEET DISTRACTION





I am not going to lie... my little Levi, (and his siblings) have been a sweet distraction from my feelings...

I have had a hard time coming back home...

I have loved every single second of being back with my family and getting to spend time with them...

But I have a hurt in my heart that I just can't shake... (I know ultimately that is a good thing:)

I can't possibly have seen all that I saw, touched those precious little ones faces, loved on child after child and seen the deplorable conditions they were living in and not have my heart break. 

My head is spinning with all sorts of thoughts, ideas, wonderings...

Now that the Lord has given me the chance to experience all that I did and see all that I saw... what does He want from us now??

I have a burden in my heart that I just can't shake and I don't want to... Praying for the Lord to make His way clear... Does He want us to share this journey with others so that they  maybe would catch a glimpse of the needs there?  Does He want us to bring any of those children home? ( more on that another time:) Does He want Greg to lead teams over there so others may see with their own eyes?  Would He ever want us to move there?  Man, some of the conversations I had with people there were pretty amazing and certainly not coincidental:)  It is like the Lord has planted all these seeds, just waiting for Him to grow them into something... we just don't have any idea what that is yet? 

This week I have had feelings of awkwardness, not fitting in, sadness, and absolute heart break after sharing pictures of the street boys with some friends and realizing in my gut that I was going home to my nice house and warm bed while they don't even have a safe place to sleep... It seems... no it is... so unfair...

On top of those feelings we have jumped back into the schedule... basketball for the boys, a new study at church for me on Sundays... home school coop and more... 

I am praying for the Lord to give me His grace so that I can graciously deal with all that I am feeling in the best way possible... Really I know these feelings are a good thing...


2 comments:

Tesha said...

I can imagine that our lives seems very vain after experiences such poverty. Praying for you my friend You have such a beautiful heat!

Katie McCrackin said...

Let's just go again :) I want to bring more band aids this time!