I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF...

 

IT ABSOLUTELY AMAZES ME...

 

 

THAT I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY...

 

 

REMIND MYSELF...

 

 

THAT THIS SWEET LITTLE PUMPKIN DIDN'T GROW IN MY OWN WOMB...

BUT THAT HE GREW IN MY HEART!!

 

 

If I had to pin point the times of the most growth in my life... I would have to say beyond a shadow of a doubt the top two would be...

 

the tragic and sudden death of our son Samuel...

and the blessings of our 3 adoptions... so far...

 

Adoption is the strangest... most amazing... mind boggling thing...

and I have to remind myself that Isaiah didn't always belong to us... from day one... the very beginning of his life...

 

It blows my mind away....

that God knew exactly who we needed in our family... and who needed us...

 

 

I gaze down at this little dark skinned sweetie...

I have to remind myself that he isn't genetically mine (I know, funny since he clearly is a different ethnicity than me.... I love love love that about him!!!! and Hope!!! )

and sometimes my breath is taken away...

 

I so don't deserve him...none of us do...

 

I look at my Levi and continually tell him day after day...

what a TOTAL miracle he is to me...

His life shows me God's miraculous power to breathe life back into what was once frozen... for 5 years...

Oh, our miracle working God!!! 

 

And I catch a glimpse of my sweet Hopie girl flying across the room:):):) and think...

God hand picked you for us... She did nothing to deserve us  nor us to deserve the sweet little blessing she is...

 

It is the same way with our Heavenly Father... while we were yet sinners ... he reached down and saved us... Us... dirty rotten us... so undeserving of His only son... And He willingly breathes the breath of life back into our bodies and souls,,,

 

I love to think of how the Lord adopted us into His family... A miracle only He could work...

Having adopted children in our family is like staring that same work of God to adopt us... staring it right in the face...

 

(I look at each of my precious children and am astounded and so in love with all of them...)

There is something different when your children come to you through adoption...

Hope and Isaiah... days of wondering and waiting and then BOOM THEY WERE OURS in less than 24 hours of finding out about their lives...

 

Levi was different as an adopted embryo, sort of like the oldest 5, they just grew more and more  till  they finally made their arrivals out of my womb and into the world... bit by bit growing more and more...

 

It is sort of the same with our Father... depending on our faith journey... sometimes BOOM the Holy Spirit just reaches down and causes our hearts to believe in a moment... Maybe when we aren't even expecting it. 

 

And then there are other's journeys like mine where my parents took me to be baptized as an infant... and I honestly do not EVER remember a day I didn't believe... Some of my earliest memories were of praying as a family before bed, reading bible stories, talking of our faith in our home... living it...  I just always knew 100% that Jesus was my Savior, that He had adopted me as His child...

 

I love that precious faith like a child and my kids every day are a precious reminder of that:) 

Oh oh oh, the sweet work of our Father to redeem that which was lost and to bring us home...

He is so good...  It amazes me...

 



Uganda January 2013

Here is a video that Louis and I put together for our Uganda presentation we did today at church...

I miss those precious kiddos so much... such great memories!  God is so faithful!   Enjoy!

LOOK WHO IS FOUR:)

 WITH HOOTSPA THAT WILL CONSTANTLY KEEP US ON OUR TOES...

 

 

WITH A SMILE THAT MELTS OUR HEARTS...

 

OUR HOPIE GIRL TURNED FOUR 2 DAYS AGO...

SHE IS A CONTINUAL REMINDER OF THE LORD'S DAILY FAITHFULNESS AND GOODNESS TO US!

 

WHEN SHE CAME TO US, A WEEK SHY OF 10 MOS OLD AND ALREADY WALKING... I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WOULD BE DETERMINED:) 

 

IT IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS BEEN WITH US FOR MORE THAN 3 YEARS...THAT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE!

 

SHE HAS GROWN UP SOOOOO MUCH.  I AM REALLY PROUD OF HER!   WHILE SHE STILL IS EXTREMELY ACCIDENT PRONE, BUSY, AND CURIOUS...

 

SHE IS ALSO INCREDIBLY AFFECTIONATE, FUNNY, SWEET, THANKFUL AND IS SUCH A BIG HELPER.  SHE IS LISTENING AND OBEYING SO MUCH BETTER THESE DAYS AND WE ARE SO THANKFUL FOR HOW THE LORD IS GROWING HER:)

 

SHE IS GOD'S PERFECT GIFT TO US, OUR HOPE JUBILEE...

 

SHE IS A REASON TO CELEBRATE!

Ahhhh.... feelings of home... finally:):)

IT FINALLY SNOWED HERE...

WE HAD BEEN WAITING ALL WINTER:)

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WINTER WONDERLAND:)

EVEN LEVI LOVED PLAYING OUT IN IT... HE WAS SO UPSET WHEN ANNA BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER A GOOD WHILE OUT THERE:)

 

 

JOJO, TOOK RIGHT TO A SNOWBALL FIGHT!  I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HEARD HIM YELL, "GAME ON !!"  IT WAS HILARIOUS!

 

JUST SEEING THE SNOW AND WATCHING THE KIDS PLAY IN IT... WARMED MY HEART AND MADE ME LONG FOR MY HOMELAND OF WISCONSIN:) 



 

KIND OF A SILLY EXPRESSION ON LEVI'S FACE... BUT HERE HE IS SIGNING " MORE " OVER AND OVER AGAIN AFTER HE WOULD FINISH A BOWL OF SNOW ICE CREAM... I THINK HE TALKED ME INTO 3 HELPINGS:)  IT WAS TOO PRECIOUS TO RESIST:)



amazingly blessed

The Lord has been up to some sweetness...

 

This past week I met a precious gal who literally walked in our church last weekend...

She recently lost her dad, her spiritual mentor, and needed to get to a church...

She had NEVER been to church in her life...

 

By God's grace and sweetness... she walked in ours. 

She is precious beyond words...

 

She came back last Wednesday For our Ash Wednesday service and then again today. 

It was such a treat to see her at our Nehemiah Bible Study, by Kelly Minter, that I co lead on Sunday mornings and then my family was blessed to have her sit with us...

If sitting with the lady with 7 kids doesn't scare her off... nothing will:)

 

This morning in absolute typical crazy Sunday morning fashion we snuck, more like barreled, into church 10 minutes before the bible Study started...

 

But in true Sara form I was previewing our video last night at 11:30pm and low and behind it was skipping the WHOLE time through the WHOLE thing...

After paying to download the session and copying it onto a disc...

 

Today... IT WOULD NOT PLAY:(:(

I was so bummed... the video is a HUGE part of our study and is soooo well done...

 

After much trying... getting our IT guy to help... it just wouldn't work... I say on a whim... "Let's just throw the original in... maybe the Lord will just allow it to work!"  Even though last week the previous session skipped and last night this session skipped continuously... The Lord was so gracious... It played PERFECTLY ALL the way through! 

 

I know it is small... But God is so good! 

 

This study is incredible... totally applicable to my life after our trip to Africa.  (which by the way I think about constantly!!)  It is all about how Nehemiah's heart was broken for the people and then how he acts as the Lord's hands and feet in rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.  In Africa I was continually asking the Lord to break my heart for what breaks His ... and let me say He delivered big time...

 

I knew it would be a great study for me and my prayer was that it would be for all the ladies. 

We had such a precious discussion today...

These women just knocked my socks off...

I can see the Lord working in their hearts and they are excited to try to come up with a way that we as a group can be the hands and feet of Christ in some special way this Lenten season. 

 

I am so blessed by their willingness to put their faith into action and act on it!  I can't wait to see what ideas we can come up with for ways to get out there and minister to and share the Lord's love with someone!

 

 



How deep the Father's love for us....

The Valentines I made for the kiddos this year:)

 

Truth be told... last year I didn't get them done and it was the first thing they looked for in the morning and I heard about it for days.  I intended to still get them done last year and it never happened so I was determined, even if I had to stay up LATE to get it done.  It was fun to see the kids, even the oldest boys lingering over all I had written on their valentines.  :) 

 

 

Right away Valentine's Day morning I saw on facebook how much a single friend of mind dislikes Valentine's Day... makes total sense to me... after that I couldn't help but notice all the photos of the flowers friends had gotten from their Valentines or the amazing gifts...even a trip to Europe...

 

My, how social media can be like a sickness of just putting all the "PERFECT" parts of your life out there for all to admire... When deep down we are ALL so FAR from perfect...

 

Someday I just want to post the reality of life in a nutshell... baby pooped out of clothes, one spilled an entire container of juice out, older 2 are bickering over ridiculous things, so and so just said a mean hurtful thing to so and so... I love my kids and they are really wonderful... but I am just keeping it real! 

 

 

So my heart was pricked for the hurting on Valentines day.  I have a super special friend from my homeschool coop, whose father just totally and unexpectedly passed away last week. (She has been such a sweet sweet friend... the minute she heard about Samuel she wanted to know more... and is never afraid to ask me the questions most don't dare to ask me... and I LOVE her for it... I need to share all those parts of my story and I have ALWAYS loved that she is so ready to hear it all!:)  Anyways, Greg did her dad's graveside service on Valentine's Day. 

 

It was a beautiful day, perfect weather to remember this man who loved the outdoors so much!  The thing is, I never got to meet her dad... but because I love her... I couldn't help but fall in love with him after hearing stories of him from her this past week.  Because he was her dad, she became all that she is today that makes her so precious to me...   My heart hurts with her as I know how much she is going to miss him...

 

I am once again struck by how thankful I am for Heaven.  I know when you first lose someone you love and hold so dearly that Heaven feels sooooo far away... entirely too far.  ( I remember lots of people trying to comfort me by reminding me of the Hope I had in Heaven after Samuel died... while I knew it was true... and this might sound bad, but in those early moments... I was just adjusting to the fact that he wouldn't be here to grow up with us... I was trying to deal with the physical affects of giving birth to a dead baby... and it did not bring me comfort then... I just wanted HIM... my baby Samuel...

 

But now, 4 1/2 years later... my perspective is so different...  while I still miss him and long for him... I sooooooo look forward to Heaven and the Joyful reunion it will be.  And that brings my heart great comfort!  I am so thankful for the gift of Jesus and that because of what He did and my belief in Him, I can have that free gift of eternity! 

 

As we embark on this lenten journey, the 40 days before Easter, the kids and I have been doing a lot of talking about Jesus' sacrifice and what we can give up or add to life.  I want to live with eternity in mind everyday.  Knowing the brevity of life first hand in our own family and seeing the frailty of life up close and personal in Africa has eternity on my mind more than ever and I love that...

 

Sin, death, grief, sorrow, my own selfishness, American selfishness, all have me seeing my need for a Savior more and more each day.  How deep the Father's Love for us that He would send His son to redeem and restore us... 

 

 Seeing that need more and more with each passing day...

 

So very thankful that He sees my need and forgives me over and over again...

 

He is so good...

 

So faithful...

So able...

 

 

 



sweetness

 

PURE  SWEETNESS... ALL  10 LBS. OF HIM!

 

We have 2 friends who both are on adoption journeys of their own. It is soooooo exciting to watch each of their situations unfold bit by bit. 

 

 One just received their brand new baby daughter last week!  

 

The other is still waiting...(We pray for our sweet friends as they wait... we know that isn't an easy thing at all... it is hard waiting for the Lord to reveal who that sweet precious new member of your family will be:)

 

We also had a couple of phone calls from precious friends who are praying over starting on the adoption journey themselves...

Our response???? GO FOR IT!!! It isn't easy but SOOOOOO worth every second of the wild ride that  jump in on when you adopt:)

 

When I look down at Isaiah, I am in awe.  In awe of a God who loves us so much to give us such sweet unexpected surprises.  I am in awe of this sweet little guy who knows me as mom and totally melts my heart.                                                                                                                                                                                                         I am totally in awe and so very thankful for His birthmom who had the courage to carry him and then because of her love for him, choose life and a family for him. 

 

What a precious gift to us!!!

 

 

Daddy Daughter Dance

 

Anna had so been wanting her daddy to take her to the Daddy daughter dance in town... Here she is when Greg pulled out the tickets last Friday:)  Hopie seems pretty thrilled too:)

 

 

My 2 little sweeties with their papa before the dance...

Hopies expression cracks me up and HELLO??? Anna looks like she grew up over night... goodness... how is this happening so fast??

 

I am so thankful that Greg made the time to take his little treasures out on a date to the daddy daughter dance in town.  Anna picked to go out to eat at Chilis for chips and salsa:) 

 

They were so sweet when they got home... so excited to share all about it... the boys and I just cracked up listening:) 

Good memories!:) 

SANYU baby home

 

None of these pictures are from Sanyu... you aren't allowed to post any pictures from there online...

But I couldn't resist posting some more pictures from our time at Praise's house:)

 

 fingerpainting was a big hit... they really did love it... you can't really tell from this little one's expression...

 Painting fingernails:) 

 This little one loved being tickled... I love her expression:)

Community kids waiting in line for a donut and drink:)

Some praise time during VBS... I love it!

 

 

Now, onto our time at Sanyu Baby home...

 

Every morning and evening during our time in Kampala we volunteered at the Sanyu baby home.  I think it is one of the oldest baby homes in Uganda.  It is just a short walk from the guest house that we stayed at... so after breakfast we would get our aprons on and head down there to meet with those precious little ones.

 

 

I seemed to gravitate most days to the babies.  Not the itty bittys but the ones probably 6-12 mos.  Little Felix, who stole my heart, was in this bunch.  (Although I did make sure to get some time volunteering with all of the age groups just so I could get a feel for what it is like for all the kids there.  

 

There are about 50-60 kids there and ladies, called mamas, that care for them.  Maybe 6-7 mamas for the whole bunch.  (Not enough)  When we got there in the morning, we got them out of bed... for some reason it is warm there, yet they always cover the babies up with big blankets so they wake up sweating.  (I know African people tend to be cooler than Caucasian people so maybe that is why, but it was kind of a mystery because they woke up soaking wet from sweat and messy nappies, diapers!  They use very little disposable diapers, mostly cloth... but they don't seem to stay dry but leak almost always... hence the reason for the apron... It was great... you could just scoop them up, love on them and it didn't matter what was leaking of the diaper. 

 

We fed them "super hot" bottles of porridge... I am not sure how they get it down but they do and then they got baths...They were ready for the day... They usually get another bath in the afternoon, strictly because they are always messy from the diapers.  And the older kids 2-3 year olds get a bath at night:)  Now that is one CRAZY SCENE!  They basically set all, maybe close to 30 kids, on the kiddy potties and one by one they go from there to be bathed.  Then they are sent out for us to dress.  One night I literally was the only one trying to dress them.  At one point I had 10 little naked pumpkins who thought it was hilarious to run wild while I tried to pick out clothes and get it onto them.  It was wild... But they are so precious you can not help but just want to love on them. 

 

At Sanyu they take kids, newborn till 4.  At 4 years old they age out of this home and go to a permanent orphanage where they can never be adopted if they arrive there.  Makes my heart sad to think of young 4 year olds too old for a family... Yet soooooo very young with so many more years to need a family.

 

There were a few really sweet mamas that did their best with those little guys.  They seemed happy to be there and loved on those little ones... but a lot of the time, the mamas don't seem thrilled, to say the least, to be there.  I will admit that with 10 kids to care for on your own, especially the little ones, maybe they are just plum worn out... but it made me so sad to see them short tempered or just not happy with those babies.   I guess that is why we were there... to just love those little ones unconditionally and fiercely... and that is what we did every morning and evening. 

 

I miss those little guys.  I miss meal time as I went down the row of 8 or so babies shoveling in the rice and g-nut sauce.  I miss the cuddles that seemed to say, "I love warm cuddles, and I don't get enough of them!"  I miss lining up all those babies in front of mirror after changes and just marveling at their super dark, yummy skin.  They were sooooooo beautiful!  I miss the absolute chaos of bath time with the older kids... total craziness as I tried to corral one or 2 to get something on them to sleep in.  I miss singing to the babies, praying and blessing them before I put them to bed... I miss my Felix... honestly, he has a piece of my heart... He had only arrived there about a month earlier and was around 7 mos. old.  (that would be my guess)  So so so sweet, that little man. 

 

There is soooooo much more I could say about my time there... I loved it, yet, It made me sad to see so many kids in that orphanage when they could be in families, either reunited with their own families or in new families.  It made me sad that right now they don't have the loving, caring, nurturing love of a mama.  Hmmmm.... each of those precious little children God created... so so sweet... I miss them...

2 mos...

A bit of a smile...

 I love this little guy so much... He is so perfect for our family...

 

 

Everything about Isaiah is just delish!  Honestly, I can't tell you how good it felt to have my sweet little pumpkin back in my arms after 2 weeks away... Ahhh!  This mama is meant to be at home with her babies.  (Even though I am sooooo grateful for the experience of Uganda!!:) 

 

There are so many times I just look at Greg and say, "I love him so much!"  Adoption is a crazy thing... one minute you are a mom to 7... and the next you are the mom to 8 and you love this new little one the moment you know that they are yours.  Really, I couldn't have imagined it to be true... but it is... He is ours and we are soooo grateful for him!

 

He is packing on the weight great!  He is finally on the growth chart, which is a good accomplishment for a preemie.   He was 9 lb. 14 oz. last Friday at the doctor... That means he has doubled in size since I was in the hospital with him.   Jojo was born at almost that weight, but with this weight on Isaiah, he seems so big... I think because he started so small. 

 

Someone from church gave us some hand me downs for him... This little outfit has pictures from the story, Guess How Much I Love You??  It is precious...  I find the same to be true of Hopie, that pretty much any color looks so good against their darker skin.  I love it!

 

Isaiah James... you are a gift from God~! 



SWEET DISTRACTION

I am not going to lie... my little Levi, (and his siblings) have been a sweet distraction from my feelings...

I have had a hard time coming back home...

I have loved every single second of being back with my family and getting to spend time with them...

But I have a hurt in my heart that I just can't shake... (I know ultimately that is a good thing:)

I can't possibly have seen all that I saw, touched those precious little ones faces, loved on child after child and seen the deplorable conditions they were living in and not have my heart break. 

My head is spinning with all sorts of thoughts, ideas, wonderings...

Now that the Lord has given me the chance to experience all that I did and see all that I saw... what does He want from us now??

I have a burden in my heart that I just can't shake and I don't want to... Praying for the Lord to make His way clear... Does He want us to share this journey with others so that they  maybe would catch a glimpse of the needs there?  Does He want us to bring any of those children home? ( more on that another time:) Does He want Greg to lead teams over there so others may see with their own eyes?  Would He ever want us to move there?  Man, some of the conversations I had with people there were pretty amazing and certainly not coincidental:)  It is like the Lord has planted all these seeds, just waiting for Him to grow them into something... we just don't have any idea what that is yet? 

This week I have had feelings of awkwardness, not fitting in, sadness, and absolute heart break after sharing pictures of the street boys with some friends and realizing in my gut that I was going home to my nice house and warm bed while they don't even have a safe place to sleep... It seems... no it is... so unfair...

On top of those feelings we have jumped back into the schedule... basketball for the boys, a new study at church for me on Sundays... home school coop and more... 

I am praying for the Lord to give me His grace so that I can graciously deal with all that I am feeling in the best way possible... Really I know these feelings are a good thing...

My feelings exactly...

Here is what my sweet 23 year old friend who went on the trip with me posted on facebook last night... thought I would share it with you as she shares my sentiments to a tee... Coming home to America is hard on the heart... Greg and I are using a gift card to go out on a date today and I CAN NOT WAIT to discuss some plans as to how we can make some real changes around here...:):)  

Looking forward to time with my hubby... Looking forward to how the Lord will challenge the 2 of us and our family in the future... 
Here are Katie's words!

 

After spending 2 weeks in Uganda, I was so excited to come home last night. I was looking forward to being with family and being comfortable.

 

But I’m finally home, and my heart is so NOT comfortable!

 As I woke up this morning in the safety... of my warm bed and clean sheets, I thought about the 10,000 children living on the streets of Uganda who are going to bed now WITHOUT a bed, who haven’t eaten in days or longer, who will stay up most of the night because of physical and sexual abuse.

 

They don’t have a family, a home, a bed, a toothbrush, a change of clothes, or any of the things I came home to. Instead of a frig full of food, they have a nearby pile of trash they will look through for their next meal. Instead of clean water, they have a nasty creek they may bathe and drink out of.

It’s not fair! My heart is broken!

 We need to GO more, GIVE more and PRAY more!!!

 

www.internationalvoiceoftheorphan.com

 James 1:27

This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

Proverbs 22:9

He who is generous will be blessed,

For He gives some of his food to the poor.

 Caleb and some of the street boys before a tough game of soccer in the slums of Kampala

 Weaving our way through the slums to get back to where the feeding program takes place... One little boy had said that he ate 5 times that week... 3 of which were likely the meals from the feeding program...

 

 Alicia and Ella with the street boys during the devotion and worship time...

 Katie and Ryane with the kids during worship...

The street boys and our team lining up for some futbol:)

Redeemer House

We are home safe and sound... So very thankful for that... I will post soon about all my thoughts and feelings as we have returned to the US... I miss Uganda... my sweeties there... our friends there... God is so faithful to grant us safe travel during the 31 hours it took to get home:):) 

I have loads more to post about our time there, especially about the baby home we worked at most days in Kampala:)

Here is a post I had mostly finished but didn't post while we were still in Jinga:)...


Another beautiful day in Jinga. I can't believe that tomorrow night at this time we will be boarding our plane for home... I have a feeling the travel home will be harder than the coming here...

Today we spent a beautiful day with Kathy and the kids at Redeemer house... Wow!!!! Neat place!! It is clean and really homey feeling. Right now I think they only have 13 orphans living there. They have had many go home to forever families:):). Yay God!! They will get more kids but are I the process of getting ready to move so they are sort of waiting a bit to get more.

The kids sang for us (precious:). We face painted... They painted our toenails:) we played ball, read to them, and really just hung out with them. It feels like home there... And I love that for those kids. Kathy is an older gal who felt called just a few years ago to start this orphanage. I love love love seeing these people young and old answering and obeying the call of the Father.

We learned so much from her. I was asking her all sorts of things about life, living here and her ministry. She is an amazing woman and a wealth of information... They fed us lunch which was so sweet. The rest of our team brought her all sorts of donations. It was awesome!! I know they will be a huge blessing to the kids there:)

Even with all of the amazing people doing great work here... The need is still huge!!! There are over 10,000 street kids in Uganda. A huge number of kids orphaned by aids, more than any other nation. The numbers and issues are staggering... I am so thankful for the people willing to go when God calls, but there is still so much work yet to do.

By the way...

Isn't that the most beautiful baby you have ever seen below??? Oh my yumminess!!!