Friday, January 1, 2016

She is God's little girl first... part 2


Back to the Christmas day story about our sweet little girl...

So knowing that our birth mom had pretty much changed her mind and decided that she was going to parent Kaliyah, she had gone back into the bedroom to pack up her things. She was now deciding if she was going to take Kaliyah with her or if she would put her into cradle care (kind of like foster care) for the night... 

I knew my kids were going to be so sad to see the baby leave...  They were growing more and more attached by the minute...  My heart was hurting for them too... The stress in the house was high and seriously most of us had been crying at one point or another... It was rough... Yet ALL A PART OF GODS DIVINE PLAN...

I can't tell you the undeniable need I had to go share my heart with her... As I said yesterday (go back and read part one of this story if you haven't had a chance yet:) my intent was not at all to try to convince her to place the baby for adoption... But rather to express to her how much we were hurting for her, how much we loved her, her older daughter, and Kaliyah... 

So there I stood in the hallway before knocking... literally just praying that God would fill my mouth with the words she needed to hear... Not mine, but his words... I knew before going in that in no way did I want to add to the burden and turmoil she was feeling, but rather express my love to her... I felt like she really needed to know she was loved, was worthy of love, and that she had ours... I knew that I was walking into that room with the prayers of many behind me... (Mind you all of this was going on with Greg all the way across the country being updated by the boys through text and calls...)

I walked in and could immediately see she had been crying... This poor girl...  In a nut shell I told her that I knew Kaliyah was God's little girl, that I knew that she didn't in any way belong to me or our family.  I told her how sorry I was for all that she was going through and feeling... That I was so sorry for how she was hurting... I told her how much we loved all of them and really wanted the very best for Kaliyah, and them, whatever that was.  Of course at this point we were both in tears... 

I just knew in my heart if the tables were turned that this would be an impossible decision for me to make... Pretty much as soon as I expressed my heart to her... She looked right at me and said, "I'm going to go ahead with my adoption plan."  

It was almost like I didn't hear it... Seriously, I couldn't believe what I was hearing... In my mind I was thinking... What???? 25 minutes ago you were in a totally different place in your thoughts... I wanted to reassure her that I really wanted her to be at peace with this... That I was in no way coming in to try to convince her of anything... I wanted her to know deep in her heart on her own, that she was making the right decision for them all... She said it again, "I'm gonna go ahead and let you have her."  


Unbeknownst to anyone, when she had gone back to the bedroom she called her brother who previously had not said one positive thing in regards to the adoption.  In fact he had been totally against it and had not been treating her kindly since hearing of her plan... (Why did she call him since he was totally against the adoption??  Why did she call him when he had said and shared with others many hurtful things about her?? Maybe she just wanted someone to support her in keeping the baby... I am not really sure... But he did just the opposite...)  

Right away he told her... "You are doing the right thing... There is NOTHING for her here.  Really there isn't anything for you here."  It was as basic and truthful as that... 

When you are with out a home, job, or many of the daily things we totally take for granted... And really no one in your family is in a different position to provide any help to you, your 9 year old, and especially not to a newborn.  When they haven't in the past been able to help you... I think she just knew...

She had called on the person who had been totally against the adoption from the start, who was now totally in favor of her placing the baby... I was totally dumbfounded and overjoyed and yet heartbroken still for her. I cried and hugged her... 

And then just like that... She asked what was for dinner... I literally laughed out loud when she asked that... It seemed so out of the blue... But when someone has spent a part of their life not knowing where the next meal might come from it makes perfect sense... 

And for the rest of our time with her that night, and this past Sunday and Monday she was like a new person... You could see that she was feeling way more at peace... The Holy Spirit had given her comfort.   That was one of my deepest desires was that she would feel a peace and that she would be confident in her decision.  

When I walked out of that room and into the kitchen all eyes were just waiting trying to read from my face what had happened in that room... I told them what happened and that we best be trying to get dinner on the table... 


I look at this this beautiful little girl... and I am amazed... 


Amazed that God can move mountains when he wants to...

Amazed by the power of prayer to bring peace and comfort to hearts needing it...

Amazed that  He can use the exact people we would never expect Him to use to accomplish his plans... 

Amazed that He has bonded these two families in such a special and unique way...

Amazed by this tiny miracle that we get to share our lives with now... 

Amazed that God so faithfully and graciously walked with us through the stress of that day and even more so...

Amazed that He carried our sweet birth mom to a place where she could out her deep deep love for this sweet girl, make a decision that she knew was best for Kaliyah... (in fact since she has been home she has texted and told me how thankful she is that Kaliyah is loved and isn't having to live through what she is right now...)  so sad... it breaks my heart for her... 

Would you please pray for her in the days ahead when she comes to mind... I know she misses Kaliyah, Pray that she and her daughter find a safe place to stay, that God would provide work for her, and most of all that she would know deep in her heart how much she is loved by us and even so much more so... Loved by GOD! 

Thanks for journeying with us...

4 comments:

Michael Uden said...

Thank you for sharing your family's story, but thank you far more for sharing your heart for the Lord and your testimony of His will being done in the lives of so many. We just completed an adoption from foster care so we empathize with much you shared. Congratulations, and God's continued blessings!

Becky Boggs said...

Oh MY sweet friend, thanks for sharing and for giving our Lord the glory!! This is so near and dear to His heart, and thanks for walking us through the details. There was a reason she called the brother that was the least supportive of adoption - it was for HER, it was for YOU all, and it was EXACTLY the way God works in adoption, JUST LIKE HIM to do that! That is SO HIS character (I screamed that part!) What a journey you guys have been on and one that rocks and builds your faith, I'm sure. Is this what we'd call the "labor and delivery" stage of adoption? It's definitely the bittersweet, and B&B will be in our prayers(my heart breaks for her, ugh). To be SO broken for someone else, but to yet have your own heart be SO joyfilled = the complexities of adoption for sure. Kaliyah JOY is so cute, I especially love the picture of her tiny self on the blanket with the awesome words! She has quite a story, and now you KNOW you got "the right one." (That made me smile all night that you remembered that!) We love you dear friends!

Jska said...

So delighted for you all! Congratulations on your new baby girl! What a story. What love. I honestly wasn't sure when you shared your Christmas Eve post that you were going to come home with a baby but a true miracle occurred.
Enjoy every moment of her newborn loveliness and special family time.
What a beautiful start to 2016!
X

Tesha Papik said...

Oh how I cried when I read this, happy and sad tears. Love that you wrote it all down for us, for your family and for Kaliyah! Beautiful just Beautiful!