Thursday, August 8, 2013

We won't be shaken...





Today I had the blessed time of taking my 7 plus 3 kid friends to the pool...

Honestly, as I sat in the kiddie pool with Levi, Hope and Isaiah I could not help but think..."This is the life!"  It was such a sweet time.  I was reveling in the sweetness of wild and crazy Hope flying around the pool... Levi's sweet squeals... and Isaiah's ginormous toothless grin... (Goodness, he gets this huge smile and it literally is so big it changes the shape of his nose... so cute!)

The big kids were having a ball in the big pool and were off and on checking in with me or me with them.  I am treasuring these last few weeks of the more relaxed days of summer.  School is just right around the corner...

After we left, we literally scrounged up enough change from the car to hit Aldi's and buy a box of ice cream bars... as we left the parking lot this song by building 429 came on the radio...

WE WON'T BE SHAKEN! 

It hit me so suddenly the reality of who was in my car... and the words of this song that were being proclaimed loudly as we drove...


Whatever will come our way...
Through fire or pouring rain...
We won't be shaken... We won't be shaken...
What ever tomorrow brings...
together we'll rise and sing that
We won't be shaken... We won't be shaken...

We will trust in you... We will not be moved...  We will trust in you...

I had one young girl... not even a teenager yet, who lost her father recently after a long battle with cancer...
I had another young girl getting ready to head to college who had lost her mother suddenly just a few years ago...
I had a young boy who has lost 2 siblings in the past few years...
And then our bunch having lost a son/brother...

Wow, the faithfulness of the Lord was surrounding me quite literally as I could see clearly joy in these sweet kids faces...

They have survived so so much in their short lives already...
They have survived more than most may in their entire lives...
They have survived surely by the grace of God...

I know that when I look think on the sudden shocking loss of my son Samuel and then having to deliver him no longer alive, I truly can not believe I am standing... When I remember the horror and details of that devastating day I know it is only by the grace and faithfulness of our Lord that we continue to move forward...

And dare I say, move forward with  JOY in our hearts...
A deeper joy... a richer love... a fuller heart... a more grateful heart...

I KNOW that losing Samuel has made me appreciate the faithfulness of our God in a way I can barely describe sometimes... It you had been a fly on the wall in the middle of those nights after losing Samuel you would get a clearer picture... there are very few that I actually share those thoughts and feelings with... too much... I am sure Greg remembers it clearly...

 I remember all too well standing in the ultrasound just 9 months later as the sonographer was searching for a heartbeat in Joel's little body, the baby we were to adopt, knowing full well in my heart that his sweet little heart was no longer beating. Then just months later suffering the miscarriage of a baby we so badly wanted.  There were questions... heartbreak upon heartbreak ...

To have been in that place and to be where we are now...

Nothing short of a miracle in my heart!  He is so good and faithful!  I can say that fully knowing I don't know what His plans are... I could have another child die... I could lose my dear husband... None of us are guaranteed tomorrow... and because I have seen and felt that first hand... I hold my Savior's promises more close to my heart than ever... He will carry you and sustain you through life's hardest times.

He is faithful!  He can transform lives... He can heal BROKEN, SHATTERED hearts!   And because I know that He will work good from our heartache...  I can loudly proclaim... We won't be shaken...

I know those kids in my car may not have even realized all I was thinking today... all God was showing me... But I see the faithfulness of our Lord clear in their life... They may not even fully see or realize it till they are even older... But wow... did God bless me by being witness to His faithfulness in our lives and in theirs! 

If you are in one of those places in life that you can barely see out of... please hang on ... be encouraged that He will NEVER leave you... He will walk right along side of you, carry you when needed... He will bring beauty out of your pain... somehow, miraculously he does... If you are hurting, I would love to pray for you... email me, leave a comment...

Now take a moment and listen to this sweet song... I pray it blesses you today...




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog a long time, since you lost Samuel. I remember feeling the heartbreak in the posts. I, too, was going through miscarriages and I remember thinking that if you could hang on, I could too. Now, God didn't have any more children in store for me, but I do have 5 wonderful ones. Those hard times let me trust more fully in God and His plans whether the same as mine or not. I appreciate you sharing through your blog as God's faithfulness is proclaimed over and over. Janet

Tesha Papik said...

That song brought tears to my eyes. I have to Sara you are such an inspiring wonderful woman of God. After being around the Babyloss community for a while now I realize that many people DO NOT heal. You are such a testimony of the Lords beauty and Grace! Your love for your children(both hear and in Heaven)shines. Your writing reveals the deep pain you have suffered but it also so shows so much healing from our Savior. I pray that God would uses you in many hurting mommies lives because you have so much to give. You are a blessing!