The love of a big brother...

I am so very grateful for the love that the big boys in the house show their little siblings...

Do they ever get irritated with them...  YES!  Do they ever treat them not as sweetly as they should ??  100%  ...

But all in all, they are such great big brothers... They are so helpful to me... They love to spend time with the little ones...  My heart just melts when the older 2 boys scoop up the little ones and cuddle them up:)  You would be shocked how often they are kissing the littlest ones up!  (Not in a weird way... but a precious way!:)  They love them so much!

This week Louis put together a make shift tent in the back yard... The little ones loved having the chance to hang out in there looking at books later one evening.  Fun stuff! Those are the moments that bless my heart... The big brother investing and loving on the little ones... There are many days that I could not do half of what I do with out their help.  And Louis in particular still has such a tender heart... Just last night he headed out to the grocery store with me at midnight... He didn't want me to go alone:)

I know that life is fragile... I know that I likely only have a few more years with him at home with me... He is a gift... I am so very thankful that God opened my womb and blessed Greg and I with him.  How long and hard we tried for him... He was worth the wait!  I treasure him and the special times he shares with his siblings and that we share together! 

Only God...

I want to share with you the sweet blessing the Lord brought our way last week when we had to take Levi to the dentist...

Only the Lord could orchestrate the encounter we had while there.  It amazes me how He cares about the intimate tiny details of our lives and then shows off by how creatively and surprisingly He can weave our lives together with others. 

Previously, I had mentioned to the dentist about Levi's history about being an adopted embryo... I thought maybe there was some chance that could come into play with him having these cavities...

That was one of the reasons I mentioned it... and the biggest reason is that...

I wanedt them to see and realize that this little life in front of them is a miracle...frozen for 5 years, thawed and was given life again!  Our precious snowflake baby Levi!

So in we walk and right away the dentist introduces us to her assistant... then the first words out of her mouth...

"You are never going to believe this!!  This is ________ , she is our new assistant... and I mentioned to her Levi's neat start to life..."  "She also happens to be the very first women in all of Illinois to adopt frozen embryos, conceive and carry them to term... 14 years ago:)

This was big news 14 years ago... She now has twin age teenagers:) Their case made the news and was followed for years by researchers...

I almost fell over... We laughed about how strangely some people react when they hear about how your child came to be... I can only imagine how wild embryo adoption sounded 14 years ago...

It was crazy that out of all of Illinois here we would be in the same room at the same time with the mom to the first ever successful embryo adopted babies in this state! Only God could make that happen...

In between the dental work, we shared bits and pieces of our stories with one another... What had brought each of us to the point of considering embryo adoption.  She is only now joining the work force again full time due to some difficult circumstances in her life...

I am praying that even now in the midst of some harder times for her that somehow the Lord will use our lives to minister to her in some small way... I know we will be back in there  a few times in the coming months... and many more in the years to come...

It was so sweet and surprising of the Lord to allow our paths to cross... I know the Lord doesn't waste any of our hurt and will use it, especially when we let him... Praying that He uses our precious snowflake baby in ways that I can't even think of or see right now...

My girls heart...

(Anna with her buddy Isaiah, Zader the tator... as he is affectionately called around here)

 

While the appearance on the outside of my Anna has changed more and more with each passing year...

 

The sweet heart of my Anna hasn't changed much...

 

That tender, affectionate, shamelessly loving side of her bursts out of her today the same way it did nearly 5 years ago when she finally got to see Samuel face to face...

 

She and I were talking about it the other day... how she would have held him all day... it was hard to share him... we all knew our time would be so short... And it was... We only had him with us for nearly 5 hours...

 

And as quickly as he came into the world, after just a few pushes... he was gone...

 

I will NEVER forget handing him to Greg, who handed him to the nurse, who ever so gently laid him in the bassinet, covered him with this paper cloth, and headed out the door... The nurse was so gentle... ( I loved that about her)

 

I will NEVER forget Anna's fearless love for him... and how she just laid that kiss smack dab on Samuel's lips... She wasn't super gentle... pure, heartfelt, deep love for her baby brother! ( I loved that about her!)

 

She is the same now... A mommy's helper, baby lover... she has a way with Levi and Isaiah that warms my heart... they love her so much!  The feeling is quite mutual. 



 

She was a gift to me then... and even more so now!

 

 

(Anna with her little brother, Samuel, 10/30/2008)

Levi's week

 

 

Our sweet little Levi heading into the dentist office... not having a clue as to what was ahead...

(Sorry for the not so great pictures... all taken on my cell... for what it is worth... the I phone takes WAY better pictures than my samsung galaxy:))

 



 

 

We have been so blessed to find a great dentist here in Illinois... before we moved we were told that Levi had some cavities that needed to be filled and this dentist confirmed that a few weeks back...  (The OK doctor, whom we loved as well, told us that he may need to have them worked on in the hospital because he was so young... hello, that would have been crazy and been so much more involved than what we were told we could do here.) 

We were so thankful to be able to take care of it in the office.

 

I am so so very thankful that I had Greg come with today. 

 

They strapped him in this little papoose deal and went to work... only it didn't go exactly as we anticipated... surprisingly one tooth had an infection and either needed a baby root canal or to be pulled... So our little guy is down one tooth... I left the room and both Greg and Levi handled it like champs... He was such a little trooper all day... and enjoyed the extra ice cream that he got to eat...

 

But honestly, this mama's heart hurt... I hurt for my little guy!  I can  not tell you how much I love him... He is as sweet as pie and I was praying like crazy when we had to make a quick game time decision that we hadn't expected to...

 

(It is really odd that he has some of these tooth problems... none of our kids have had anything like it... he didn't go to bed with a bottle or anything that would lead to this... I even asked if it could have anything to do with him being the result of a frozen embryo adoption... even the dentists really don't know... I know God knows and made him perfectly!!! :)

 



 

He seriously has the most beautiful eyes and lashes...

 

Levi has had quite the week.  We also had his speech evaluated earlier this week.  He tries so hard to talk, is talking a lot more than he was 2 months ago, but it just still didn't seem like he was where he should be.  He will carry on and on sometimes, but not that much of what he says really makes any sense. 

 

So needless to say, we are really thankful that he will be able to get some help soon.  (He gets frustrated and angry because he wants to talk and can't:(  We feel bad that we can't understand him.    And I am hoping that they will help me be able to help him better at home.  I think I just need the tools and to know how to help him progress! 

 

So it has been a big week Levi...

 

We are so thankful for this little man and have a really cool story about someone we met at the dentist's office today... totally a neat God thing to put us there at the same time... I can't wait to share!:)



gotcha day for hopie girl

It has been 3 years since this little girl officially became Hope Jubilee Marie (her birthmom's choice) Hintz.  A lot has happened in the last 3 years.  She even became a big sister 2 times over:) 

We are so thankful that God choose her to be a part of our family!  What a treasure she is!  (Every last bit of constant busyness:) She is above and beyond thankful.... affectionate... funny... tough to the core at times... & is beginning to become a really big helper...

She started her new preschool class this week and for the most part she did great. We were so thankful.  She actually has been far more mello this week.  That isn't like her normally... maybe she was extra tired, not feeling 100 percent, or turning over a new leaf...  time will tell!  :)

We celebrated Hope's gotcha day with cones from  McDonald's tonight after going to a semi professional  LaCrosse game in town.  That was how we celebrated the day the courts made her ours... With icecream!!

Treasuring our Hopie tonight and every night:)!!  We love her so much!

NO LONGER OK HOMEOWNERS:)

As much as we loved our home in Oklahoma...

As many amazing family memories we made in that home from bringing home Hope, Levi, and Isaiah, great family walks around our nice neighborhood, the boys and dad building their tree fort or neat HUGE loft in their bedroom, late night runs across the yard to the neighbors tornado shelter in bad weather, hard fought soccer games in the yard, bike rides, playing with wonderful neighbors, morning meetings with the kids and our precious neighbor Barbara on her back porch (she was such a gem and loved our kids so much!), block parties, swimming in neighbors pools, to grand attempts at gardening...

There are hard, difficult memories that are etched in my mind too from losing Samuel, the heartache and lonliness of a loss being in a brand new city, housing our 15 year old birth mom and losing baby joel...

Praise God that He brings beauty from our ashes... joy from our mourning... peace from our despair... He is so so faithful!

As much as we loved that home... It was such a great gift from God... Nicer than we ever dreamed of having... the perfect yard for us... great neighbors...

We are SO SO THANKFUL THAT THE LORD BROUGHT US BUYERS AND THE DEAL IS DONE... We no longer own that home. 

It is such a gift to not have to think about taking care of the house and paying the bills while we live far away.  God brought a buyer in His perfect timing... Once again He provides and we are astounded and grateful~!

HE WAS SHOWING OFF...

We have a teether in the house...

One who isn't sleeping real great these days...

 

I am convinced that while we were up at the lake my little Isaiah woke me up for an early morning feeding just so I could experience the splendor of the Lord at the lake...

 

I ventured from the loft bedroom downstairs... decided I would go out on the deck since I could just see that the sun would be rising soon...

 

I was feeding Isaiah on the deck to the cabin with hummingbirds literally buzzing by my head... CRAZY... never experienced that before:)

 

As the sun started to peek over the horizon... I decided why not??  I would take Isaiah down to the pier and hang out and get an up close view of it all from the end of the dock...

 

We were not disappointed!!!

 

We witnessed the sunrise from start to finish, saw a bald eagle perched in a tree right at the end of the pier,  and watched him soar right on by us!

 

I was wonderstruck!  It was like He was knocking my socks off again and again with each passing minute as I sat soaking in the rising sun shimmering off my little sweetie's dark skin.  The reflection of the sunrise off the lake was amazingly gorgeous!  Truly God was showing off today with the beauty that was growing with each moment that passed. 

 

As the rest of the cabin slept in peace and quiet... I felt like I got to experience this total blessing and was bathed in a beautiful time with the Lord... it felt like it was all for me and Isaiah... such a precious morning feeding it was... one I won't ever forget!

 

JUST 2 FAMILIES

 

BEFORE WE LEFT THE CABIN TODAY WE WANTED TO CATCH A COUPLE OF PICTURES OF GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WITH OUR KIDS AND MY SISTER'S KIDS.  FOR WHATEVER REASON IT LOOKS LIKE A HUGE BUNCH... MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL GETTING BIGGER... (CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF WHAT KIND OF SILLY FACE A FOUR YEAR OLD SAMUEL WOULD HAVE BEEN ADDING TO THE MIX!)

 



 

WE ARE SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, RELAXING, FUN PLACE TO GET AWAY TO WHEN WE ARE ABLE.  IT IS A HUGE BLESSING, SOMETHING WE CERTAINLY COULD NEVER AFFORD TO DO IF WE HAD TO PAY TO STAY AT A PLACE LIKE THAT...

 

AND WE GET THE ADDED BONUS OF SHARING THAT TIME WITH SIBLINGS, THEIR FAMILIES, AND GRANDMA AND GRANDPA... (ALTHOUGH I KNOW THEY NEVER REALIZED THAT THEIR 5 KIDS WOULD END UP TOTALING 26 GRANDKIDS SO FAR... I KNOW IT GETS TO BE A BIG BUSY AND NOISY FOR THEM AT TIMES!)  WE ARE SO FORTUNATE THAT THEY STILL LET US COME... EVEN AS THE FAMILY CONTINUES TO GROW:) 

 

NOW THAT WE LIVE CLOSER THE KIDS ARE ABSOLUTELY LOVING THE FACT THAT WE COULD MAKE IT UP THERE 2 TIMES THIS SUMMER... AND ALREADY THEY WERE ASKING ABOUT WINTER... WE WILL SEE... :):)

FENCE LAKE

HOURS AND HOURS WERE SPENT PLAYING IN THE SAND... MOSTLY BY JOJO, HOPE, LEVI AND THEIR FELLOW LITTLE RASCALS:)

 



 

SOME COUSIN TIME BY THE CAMPFIRE, GETTING READY FOR A COOK OUT... HOT DOG, BRAT ROAST, SMORES AND ALL:)



 

CALEB AND ISAIAH CHILLING IN THE HANGING CHAIR...

 



 

BROTHERS EATING SMORES!  OH WE LAUGHED OVER THIS ONE... LOUIS IS A BIG KID...  BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON, THE ANGLE AT WHICH THIS WAS TAKEN MAKES HIM LOOK ENORMOUS AND LEVI LOOK LIKE A TINY LITTLE GUY... REALLY THEY ARE BOTH TOTALLY NORMAL IN SIZE...

 



 

ANNA AND HER UNCLE JOHNNY BOY!  SHE HAS A SPECIAL LIKING FOR HIM...:)

 



 

ROASTING HOT DOGS AND BRATS FOR LUNCH... GOOD TIMES... I AM NOT SURE IF YOU CAN SEE JOJO'S EXPRESSION... BUT HE HAD SOME WINNERS WHILE WE WERE COOKING... HE IS SUCH A FUNNY KID!

 



 

I QUICKLY GRABBED A PICTURES OF MY SISTER, MOM AND I WITH THE 2 LITTLEST BEFORE WE HIT THE ROAD TODAY... MAN... 2 DAYS AT THE CABIN IS  JUST NOT ENOUGH TIME...

 

WE HAD A BLAST AT THE WEDDING (I HOPE TO POST A FEW PICS AFTER LOUIS EDITS THEM) AND THEN WITH FAMILY AT THE CABIN... BUT AS USUAL IT WENT TOO FAST...

 

WE ARE BACK AT HOME... SOAKING UP THE LAST 2 WEEKS OF SUMMER AND GETTING ORGANIZED FOR SCHOOL... AHHH... INSERT INSTANT HEAD ACHE...

 

NO REALLY, I AM EXCITED FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR... BUT JUST THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO GET ORGANIZED TO SCHOOL THE OLDER 4 AND KEEP THE OTHER 2 BUSY WHILE HOPE IS AT PRE SCHOOL MAKES ME WANT TO PRESS THE PANIC BUTTON JUST A BIT:):)

 

THIS SUMMER HAS JUST LITERALLY BLOWN BY... SO THANKFUL FOR GOD'S PROTECTION OVER MANY MILES THIS LAST WEEK...



LOVE IS IN THE AIR... IN THE NORTHWOODS

 (GOOGLE IMAGE)

 

We are getting ready to haul it up north tomorrow for the outdoor wedding of a childhood friend of mine and my sister's.  We are all sooooo excited and have been for a long while.  Greg has the privilege and honor of performing the wedding.  He has said over and over again what a great couple they are and that they are perfect for each other.  What a sweet gift!

 

The bride and recently her fiance have been so so supportive of our trips to Uganda.  They have been such a blessing to us! The bride has to be one of the funniest people I know.

 

We can't wait for them to become one in the Lord!  It is sure to be a great time.    

 

 

Then we will get a couple more days up at my parent's lake house with my parents and some of my siblings and their families.

 

These are pics from  the last time we were up over the fourth of July.  Ahhh... a little slice of heaven up there on the lake:) 

We won't be shaken...

Today I had the blessed time of taking my 7 plus 3 kid friends to the pool...

Honestly, as I sat in the kiddie pool with Levi, Hope and Isaiah I could not help but think..."This is the life!"  It was such a sweet time.  I was reveling in the sweetness of wild and crazy Hope flying around the pool... Levi's sweet squeals... and Isaiah's ginormous toothless grin... (Goodness, he gets this huge smile and it literally is so big it changes the shape of his nose... so cute!)

The big kids were having a ball in the big pool and were off and on checking in with me or me with them.  I am treasuring these last few weeks of the more relaxed days of summer.  School is just right around the corner...

After we left, we literally scrounged up enough change from the car to hit Aldi's and buy a box of ice cream bars... as we left the parking lot this song by building 429 came on the radio...

WE WON'T BE SHAKEN! 

It hit me so suddenly the reality of who was in my car... and the words of this song that were being proclaimed loudly as we drove...


Whatever will come our way...
Through fire or pouring rain...
We won't be shaken... We won't be shaken...
What ever tomorrow brings...
together we'll rise and sing that
We won't be shaken... We won't be shaken...

We will trust in you... We will not be moved...  We will trust in you...

I had one young girl... not even a teenager yet, who lost her father recently after a long battle with cancer...
I had another young girl getting ready to head to college who had lost her mother suddenly just a few years ago...
I had a young boy who has lost 2 siblings in the past few years...
And then our bunch having lost a son/brother...

Wow, the faithfulness of the Lord was surrounding me quite literally as I could see clearly joy in these sweet kids faces...

They have survived so so much in their short lives already...
They have survived more than most may in their entire lives...
They have survived surely by the grace of God...

I know that when I look think on the sudden shocking loss of my son Samuel and then having to deliver him no longer alive, I truly can not believe I am standing... When I remember the horror and details of that devastating day I know it is only by the grace and faithfulness of our Lord that we continue to move forward...

And dare I say, move forward with  JOY in our hearts...
A deeper joy... a richer love... a fuller heart... a more grateful heart...

I KNOW that losing Samuel has made me appreciate the faithfulness of our God in a way I can barely describe sometimes... It you had been a fly on the wall in the middle of those nights after losing Samuel you would get a clearer picture... there are very few that I actually share those thoughts and feelings with... too much... I am sure Greg remembers it clearly...

 I remember all too well standing in the ultrasound just 9 months later as the sonographer was searching for a heartbeat in Joel's little body, the baby we were to adopt, knowing full well in my heart that his sweet little heart was no longer beating. Then just months later suffering the miscarriage of a baby we so badly wanted.  There were questions... heartbreak upon heartbreak ...

To have been in that place and to be where we are now...

Nothing short of a miracle in my heart!  He is so good and faithful!  I can say that fully knowing I don't know what His plans are... I could have another child die... I could lose my dear husband... None of us are guaranteed tomorrow... and because I have seen and felt that first hand... I hold my Savior's promises more close to my heart than ever... He will carry you and sustain you through life's hardest times.

He is faithful!  He can transform lives... He can heal BROKEN, SHATTERED hearts!   And because I know that He will work good from our heartache...  I can loudly proclaim... We won't be shaken...

I know those kids in my car may not have even realized all I was thinking today... all God was showing me... But I see the faithfulness of our Lord clear in their life... They may not even fully see or realize it till they are even older... But wow... did God bless me by being witness to His faithfulness in our lives and in theirs! 

If you are in one of those places in life that you can barely see out of... please hang on ... be encouraged that He will NEVER leave you... He will walk right along side of you, carry you when needed... He will bring beauty out of your pain... somehow, miraculously he does... If you are hurting, I would love to pray for you... email me, leave a comment...

Now take a moment and listen to this sweet song... I pray it blesses you today...

The body... being the body

Something happened a while back that gave my heart such peace...

Although it was a very hard circumstance... God's faithfulness and His plans were precious...

I love seeing the body working as it was designed... (due to our own human sinfulness, a lot of time I think we TOTALLY can hinder the Lord's work from being fulfilled)

I love seeing Christians doing the hard things... willingly having the really hard conversations... to ultimately lead themselves and others into the best possible relationships with eachother and their Heavenly Father...

I have sooo many times in the past seen the hurt of broken relationships that even with so very much effort  (at least on one end of the broken relationship) to work towards restoration... where that healing  just can't ever happen...

I have seen sooooo many people just not willing to communicate or have the hard conversations that would lead to a healthier future...

I have seen people who would rather just brush things under the rug than deal with them to work towards a better/healthier relationship with someone...

I have seen so much pride that stifles the work that the Heavenly Father  or the Holy Spirit could do...

But in this situation,  I saw the total opposite...  It was hard... it was uncomfortable at times... but it was exactly what it should be and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!

I saw God working forgiveness, restoration, love, redemption, and the start of the healing process...
What a blessing and precious gift it was to my heart...

I haven't doubted for a second that the Lord has called us here and it was the right decision in every way... but this was like an added bonus to see in action believers wanting God's very best for everyone, working together... having the hard conversations, humbling themselves (all the way around) and with willing hearts praying for the Lord's blessing and healing...

Beautiful to see the body of Christ... be the body... Thank you Lord!

Bonus Blessing

 

When we arrived in Schaumburg, we were given a pass to the city pools... Hello??? Best gift ever!  I think we made it worth our while just in the first 2 visits for what it would have cost us to go with out the passes... There are 3 pools and today we finally tried out the water park pool... Hello???  What have we been waiting for... It was the best yet for our crew. 

 

They had the greatest water park area for little kids... so bright, colorful, and fun!  Even Levi, who is a bit fearful of the water, loved splashing around.  Hope and Jojo of course were going gang busters!

 

Anna alternated between riding on the big slides and hanging out with us in the littler kid areas:)

 



 

Such a typical Hope expression...

 



 

 

Jojo and Isaiah chilling in the kiddie pool... It was a bit breezy today, but the water in the kiddie pool was much warmer:)  Doesn't Isaiah have the greatest smile ever!?

 



 



 

 

 

 

Levi's routine is to go up and down the slide again and again and again... of course he won't even budge from the top with out my hand holding his to come down the slide...  At the beginning of the summer he was afraid of it all... Now he actually enjoys a lot of it!:)  He has come a long way:) 

 



 

What an amazing gift to be given.  It is something we never would have known about or maybe even spent money on this summer with still owning our home in Oklahoma and all!  (Which by the way is set to close on the 16th, Lord willing) 

 

What generous hearts to bless us in this way... even having the pool pass has helped us get our feet wet here so to speak... making us a part of the community... sort of forcing us to take a break from the unpacking and organizing to have some fun... allowing us to visit with people at the pool... not to mention it has given us loads of fun and great memories... such a gift and such a sweet blessing! 

TWO...

Yep, he is two alright...

loads of fun, sweetness, and preciousness...

 

but also...

 

a fair amount of screaming, temper, and anger these days.  I think that his lack of talking doesn't help his frustration level...

 

Not all of my kids have had a rough two year old year, but I would say Levi is giving me a run for my money at times. 

 

He is getting a lot better with some training... and I am so thankful for that... Daily I can't help but think, it is such a blessing that he is just so cotton picking cute that I can't help but love him through his tough moments...

 

I couldn't help snap a few pictures a couple of weeks ago as I tried to get all 8 of us out the door for church on Sunday...

 

This is typical Levi... going from happy to sad to angry to back to absolutely precious in a matter of minutes:):)  What a gift... every last sweet and crazy moment with him...