Saturday, October 29, 2011
Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Samuel
How can 3 years have passed since I held you? At times it feels like 10 years and then there are so many times it feels like 10 months or even less. Samuel, having you in my life has changed me. At times it is still hard to fully accept that God's plan for your life was just a short 9 months in my womb. But I KNOW and I TRUST that His ways are best. There are moments when I think that you are by far the best off of all of our children... but in the next moment I selfishly wish I still had you here.
I miss you still so much. Every time I see a dark haired little 3 year old, I picture what you would have looked like or been like. Would you have been tender hearted like Louis, more of a go getter like Caleb, or a goofball like Jojo? It make me sad to think that I will never know any of that about you. To think that you are my child, one of my greatest loves and treasures yet there is so much I didn't get to know about you here on earth.
I have learned so much from having you as a part of our family. I appreciate so much more. I am so thankful that this life here is just a blip in time and eternity is FOREVER!!! I can not wait to see you again and scoop you up in my arms and love on you like I have imagined doing for the past 3 years... then again, who knows how old you will be in Heaven... I do secretly hope that you will be little, but then again, I know it won't even matter when I am there. I just know that I miss you... I love you so so so very much son... just like I love the rest of my kids. I would do it all again sweet boy to carry you for those 9 months... in a heartbeat, I would do it again.
Samuel, you are such a precious gift from our Savior. We think about you so much and we talk about you so often. Our whole family here can't wait till we are a WHOLE family again in Heaven...
Love you son!