Thursday, March 31, 2011
LUMP IN MY THROAT
CAN I JUST TELL YOU HOW INCREDIBLY HARD IT WAS TO CHANGE THE PHOTO ON MY HEADER... I COULDN'T JUST REMOVE THE PHOTO WITH SAMUEL AND THE OTHER KIDS ON IT... I JUST MOVED IT TO THE SIDE... IT IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE PICTURES... WHO KNOWS, MAYBE I WILL PUT IT BACK UP AT SOME POINT... HUGE LUMP IN MY THROAT... CROCODILE TEARS ARE FLOWING... WHY DO THESE FEELINGS STILL CATCH ME OFF GUARD 2 1/2 YEARS LATER?... MAYBE IT IS A SIGN OF PROGRESS IN MY HEALING... NOT MOVING ON (RIGHT TONYA?:) JUST MOVING FORWARD... ONE HARD STEP AT A TIME... THINKING OF MY SWEET 5TH BORN... AND WONDERING WHAT HE IS DOING IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW WHILE I AM THINKING OF HIM... SO MUCH WONDERFUL JOY IN MY HEART... SO MUCH MISSING... ALL AT ONCE... SO THANKFUL FOR FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND THIS JOURNEY... SO THANKFUL FOR A GOD WHO WROTE THIS STORY... OUR FAMILY'S STORY...LEVI'S STORY... SAMUEL'S STORY... TRUSTING YOU LORD IN EACH WONDERFUL AND GUT WRENCHINGLY HARD STEP OF THE JOURNEY... THANK YOU LORD FOR WALKING IT WITH ME!!!
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6 comments:
I can totally relate. I don't think the sad feeling ever goes away deep inside. I love that picture of your family with Samuel. Praying for you.
I love you! Even the most wonderful times can be hard, and something so simple to others can be absolutely gut-wrenching to us. Samuel is never, EVER forgotten! And he knows it! Your love for him shows every minute of every day! (((HUGS)))
Love,
Tonya
I love both pictures so much. It is so bizarre and really hard to have both joy and sorrow in one moment. Sometimes it just confuses the heck out of me. It's exhausting.
Love you friend. Missing your baby Samuel too.
ebe
Absolutely beautiful! As an onlooker, for me, this picture represents an amazing journey of hope and healing. And the black and white photo of baby Samuel, in comparison to the color photo of your present family, well, I just stand in awe of what an awesome God we have. You have an amazing story of redemption to share, Sara. Praise God for redemption stories!!! Please say you are coming to convention in Tulsa!!
Like other posters, I love both photos. I praise God for the healing he has brought to your heart and family and the healing he will continue to pour out. I like the arragement with the lovely picture of your first 5 on the side and this colorful on of all your loves here on earth at top. Change it as you need to but I love what you have done. Your story makes me sing out in Praise to our awsome Heavenly Father. Hallelujia! Thank you for allowing him to bless others through your volunerability of sharing your journey.
I too love the new picture, everyone looks so cute! I have been struggling with the same issue in regards to keeping or redoing Jackson's nursery for our next baby. I would love to hear from you and other moms on what you choose to do with your angel babies rooms. I have so much guilt in redoing it, but yet I feel like we need to have a fresh start. I know I could still incorporate many of Jackson's things, but I'm not sure what to do.
Thanks for always sharing the good and the hard times! You are such a wonderful woman!
lisa
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