We are all broken...

Let's be honest...
That right there is a hard thing... sometimes easier for some than others...

I am not a pessimist... we have a wonderful life... but in all honesty, it wasn't all that long ago when there were days that I wasn't sure I would survive...
TRULY...
I wasn't sure I wanted to survive...
And if I am totally honest, there are still days that my heart aches for my baby boy and I long more for Heaven than the day that is ahead of me...
These days now are few and far between now... but still present...

But being in ministry as a pastor's wife, leading an infant loss support group, I hear and see first hand many with broken hearts ALL THE TIME...

Having just experienced the blessing of Kaliyah and seeing the sorrow and pain of her birth mother as she handed over this precious little bundle she loved, showed me afresh the huge amount of brokenness that loads of people are dealing with daily...

Your brokenness might come from a place of abuse, abandonment, an area of sin that you are in bondage to, a bad job situation, the loss of a loved one, depression, addiction, loneliness, your own bad choices, dealing with someone else's bad choices, serious illnesses, battles of the mind...
I could go on and on...
Some of them could be things that maybe we had a part in creating... but most probably are areas that are really just a cross that we have to bear (ours by no action on our own part) and a result of sin being a part of this world...

Some of these areas of brokenness might be something that is bearable, a burden that you carry but that you realistically can carry in this life and still function...

Others areas of brokenness are all consuming... Really they may have you in a place of survival... I have been there... not a good place to be at all...

Could the Lord heal us of these thorns in our sides instantly... FOR SURE... does He still heal in this way today... I believe He can and does... but it doesn't always seem to work that way... Some times He heals instantly... Sometimes He heals slowly over time... Sometimes He uses modern medicine... Sometimes He uses things we may never suspect... And sometimes He heals us in Heaven...

I really do believe that these areas of brokenness, while in the moment may seem impossible and unbearable, are areas that the Lord is going to use in amazing, inconceivable ways if you let Him... But yes, I know that it takes time to get to that point in the healing process...

And in all honesty, I meant what I said... we are all broken in one way or another... I wouldn't ever judge you in your brokenness... I wouldn't judge why you are broken and I would pray that you would do the same for me and others... not judge...

There is nothing worse than feeling judged in your hurt, when you are already hurting and in need of great healing...

I have a precious friend from the state we previously lived in that was involved in the same home school coop with me...

She was amazing... We opened our hearts to each other and she was never afraid to mention Samuel's name, check in with me regarding how I was feeling, and was a listening ear, always able to make me laugh.  She was also going through a particular  time of brokenness... Very few there knew what was going on for her outside the doors of our coop... but I did... I am sure she didn't share all the hard unbearable details with me, but oh the prayers that were offered up for her family during this time... I knew they had sought help from doctors all over the country... Then on top of all of that she lost her dad very suddenly... talk about hard...

I have so much love and respect for her... I love that she has shared their story... I love that she is being open and honest about a part of their story that isn't easy to share... This is HUGE and could bless others in a HUGE way...
She and her son recently shared a video about a type of therapy that has been a huge blessing to her, her son, and as a result her whole family... It has changed their lives... I wanted to share her video because if there is anything that might help another person in a similar situation I would love for others to experience healing in one way or another... I believe it offers great hope for the future...

Please watch when you have a free moment... I am so touched that they shared their story to help others who are going through the struggles of mental illness...


Hayden from BMC Ferrell on Vimeo.

Here are just a few words from my sweet friend Michelle about sharing this video...
Someone asked me if they could share and yes, that's totally fine. It's our goal to share our story so that we can bring awareness not only to NF, but also to the struggle of living with mental health disorders and the lack of modern medicine's ability to truly cure the brain. Mental health disorders carry such a negative stigma, and unless we educate, people who struggle will continue to be labeled. 


I am so touched that they shared their story to help others who are going through the struggles of mental illness... I do not deal with depression on a regular basis, but it is something I struggled with after losing our son in 2008... My heart goes out to those that struggle in this area...

Here is a link to learn more about neuro feedback...

http://www.abundantlivingneurofeedback.com/

I would love to see people showing deep love, care, and concern for all who struggle with illnesses of any kind... I am so thankful that God can use so many different ways to help and heal us...